Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.

1.31.2008

What kind of crack were they smoking?

Victoria's Secret executives and designers voted on the sexiest people in various categories. I'm thinking these people must be the dopiest folks on the planet. First off, they said Ryan Seacrest has a sexy smile? I wouldn't buy a used car from him. Ick. Then, while I'm one of the world's biggest Romosexuals, they picked my man, Tony, as the sexiest male athlete. Uh, no.
Who in their right mind would pick dimples over this? Good Lord. I think I need a few moments by myself to contemplate this injustice. Tony Romo over David Beckham. Heh.












The f**k jar

Even with the giant deadline looming, I still have to do my duties as the national blog committee chairwoman for the professional organization upon which I'm on the board. *sigh* So, I've had to begin scouring journalistic type blogs, websites, etc. for pertinent information regarding the field. Today, I ran across one that is completely inappropriate for the professional blog, but completely hilarious.

If you've ever worked in a newsroom or known a journalist; well, you'll know we all cuss like sailors. The old timers drank heavily, smoked too much and were typically womanizers (or sluts) and usually wound up divorced. Ok, I drink; I'm as slutty as a married gal can be and unfortunately, I wound up divorced. Although I can attest to never banging anyone that I worked with (despite thinking about it upon occasion!) LOL

So, this guy had a newsroom with a jar you filled up whenever you dropped an F bomb. Good Lord. If I did that at home, I could pay off my car in just a few months between my husband and me. :)

AoM = Twitchy

I've got a MAJOR deadline today. I was up till 12:15 a.m. this morning working on it and back up at 5 a.m. I've had one diet coke and I'm on my second cup of coffee. I'm going to be a cross between Twitchy here and Dr. Krunkelhorn.

Sweet Emotion

One of the best things to result from our Disney vacation in October is that my middle kiddo, Hot Rod, now has an affinity for Aerosmith. After riding the Rock N Roller Coaster, he loves 'em. This song was on the radio tonight and he was loving it. :)

1.30.2008

Don't cha?

More hot chicks for the guys out there. Yeah, yeah. You're welcome. I do like this song, though. I've been informed that I need to relax the hormones a bit on the blog. I'm sure my inlaws, my ex and LabKat will be happy with that. :) I had two more compliment stoday that made me very happy. First off, my worst critic and biggest fan (my mother) told me I looked like I lost weight. I gotta like that, but I think it is the boots and slacks that I was wearing. It is a good outfit. Then, one of the security guards at the federal building where cracked me up. My minivan needs a new belt and is whistling. While he was checking my DL, I said that I couldn't sneak up on anyone with the car whistling. He smiled and said, well, of course its whistling. Looks who's driving the car and you'll know why its whistling. :) That was pretty clever. I shoulda slipped him a tip for that one. :)

1.29.2008

I've come to realize

It is weird how it happened, but oddly enough, El Capitan from Baboon Pirates is one of my favorite bloggers. Not sure why. I guess he's a bit like me - the Seinfeld of bloggers. We have blogs about nothing. *shrug* But, it is nothing in a fun way. I think. Ok, never mind. I know what I mean even if you don't.

I swiped his "I've Come to Realize" Meme:

1. I have come to realize that my butt: ... was banging when I was 22. I always thought having a bubble butt was bad and that it was huge. Now, I realize I had the hottest ass in my high school next to my best friend, TB. She had a great ass. Still does, damn her. Anyway. My butt isn't too bad, just WAY TOO dimply these days. I am working on that.

2. I have come to realize that when I talk: ... I sound like a redneck. The Texas twang is really embarrassing sometimes when I'm talking to the big money dudes from NYC about real estate deals. Although I catch myself laughing at my editor from Joisey (that's New Jersey to folks who don't know.)

3. I have come to realize that, if I love someone: ... I'm fortunate.

4. I have come to realize that, I need: ... about four more hours in every day to get things done.

5. I have come to realize that, I lost: ... my ability to be organized and multi-task. Before three kids, I had the cleanest house on the planet, could find any important paper or receipt in a moment and had time to spare to sew and read.

6. I have come to realize that, I hate it when: ... I decide to go on a diet and give up junky treats and Arby's creates a chocolate turnover.

7. I have come to realize that, if I'm drunk: ... I'm very affectionate and much less inhibited. It also leads to my clothes coming off.

8. I have come to realize that, marriage: ... is a frustrating, challenging and rewarding institution. But, "institution" is where you wind up after you've been married long enough.

9. I have come to realize that, work: ... sucks. My boss is a bitch, too. Did I mention I'm self-employed?

10. I have come to realize that, I will always be: ... living paycheck to paycheck and fighting with my honey over money.

11. I have come to realize that, I like: ... radio music better than talk radio. Except I still like GAC. It is bad.

12. I have come to realize that, the last time I cried was: ... yesterday when I read a story about a baby dying.

13. I have come to realize that, my cell phone is: ... sort of cute now that I put a new silver cover on it.

14. I have come to realize that, when I wake up in the morning: ... I wish my kids would sleep longer and I could have 15 more minutes.

15. I have come to realize that, before I go to sleep at night: ... I need big sex to help me go to sleep easier.

16. I have come to realize that, right now I am thinking about: ... having big sex.

17. I have come to realize that, babies: ... are the result of having big sex. :) Just kidding. Ok, well, they are, but I have come to realize that I'm glad I'm not having any more babies.

18. I have come to realize that, today I will: ... probably not get my story written and will have worse allergies after the wind stops blowing.

19. I have come to realize that, tonight I will: ... freeze my keester off walking in the cold and have to clean the kitchen. Yuck. Where are THOSE house elves when you need them?

20. I have come to realize that, tomorrow I will: ... still not have my story done and will still have dishes to wash and laundry to do.

21. I have come to realize that, I really want to: ... have big sex. I'm noticing a trend here.

22. I have come to realize that, working out: ... sucks, but if I want to lose the cottage cheese skin on my ass and thighs, then I have to do it.

23. I have come to realize that, friends:... don't care if my ass is big, they'll tell me I'm beautiful anyway.

24. I have come to realize that, the person who might repost this is: ... probably avoiding work as much as I am.

If you do this, let me know ... and I'll post a link. Now, off to make dinner and clean the kitchen. Enough procrastinating.

I changed my mind

I decided to use this as my profile picture. I like it better. Of course, I don't look like this today. I woke up with my right eye all puffy and that area between the dark circle under my eye and my cheekbone was swollen up to the size of a thumb. Gees. I took a Benadryl and put a warm moist compress on it. It has gone down considerably, but the whole area around my eye is still swollen and puffy. Now, we're having 30 mph wind gusts, so that isn't going to help as it blows in more allergens. GRRRRRR. I keep picking up the phone to call the doctor and then putting the phone receiver back down. I want this to go away. I have plans to go out this weekend and don't like looking like this!!!! I wanna look like I do in this picture!

1.28.2008

Valentine's Day Delivery

I've been planning to blog about baseball, but this wasn't what I had in mind originally. I planned to rant and rave about the outrageous money that owners pay the players and how we need a salary cap in MLB.

But, I digress.

I am on the Texas Rangers email newsletter list. Today, I got a promotional email about having the Rangers mascot, Captain, deliver your Valentine gift to your sweetie for a mere $150. The following conversation occurred:

AoM: Hey honey, look here. You can have Captain deliver my Valentine's Day present for $150.
AoD: *with a smile on his face* I'm not spending $150 on the gift, why would I spend it on Captain delivering it. *after a brief pause* If my Lotto ticket hits on Wednesday, I promise I'll have Captain deliver your Valentine.

Fair enough. We're not all that big on Valentine's Day around here. Our big plans for the day of love: take the kids to a UNT men's basketball game. Now, that is how AoD knows he married well. A $10 bouquet of tulips and I'm all his for the night. Ok, well for the night after we put the kids in bed. I'm easy for the man, what can I say?

Tales from the Mom-Mobile

This morning a business contact called and I needed to write down his contact information. Rummaging through my purse, all I could find was a McDonald's receipt and a yellow crayon.

That's just sad.

From the mouths of babes

My mom came to watch Hot Rod play basketball on Saturday morning and then to babysit for us Saturday night. So, on Sunday afternoon, I was taking my mom home and she and I were talking non-stop. Little Bit would try to insinuate herself into the conversation occasionally to regale us with tales of Fozzie Bear and Miss Piggy (from the Muppet Show DVD she was watching.)

At one point, this conversation occurred:
*AoM and Granny talking*
Little Bit: Hey mom!
AoM: What, honey?
Little Bit: Does is hurt yours and Granny's mouths to talk so much?

My mom and I laughed so hard we had tears in our eyes. No, honey, it doesn't. And, you're well on your way to becoming another expert talker from the AoM family.

New Hot n Spicy Army of Mom Profile Pic

Look, no glasses! I do take them off every now and then. Of course, I need some major photoshopping on this picture. I replaced my profile picture of me all RomoSexual and all in my No. 9 jersey and Cowboys baseball cap with this. What do you think? A little too hot n spicy for Army of Mom?

A talk of politics; look away!

On Saturday night, my dear husband and I managed to escape the monotony of life's responsibilities and head out to party with friends and just relax, for a change. As we were trying to find a place to eat, we figured 8 to 8:30 ought to be late enough not to have to stand and wait at a decent restauarant.

In the words of Ron White, we.were.wrong.

Everywhere we went there were people out the door and a wait of at least 30 minutes. I know this is only one tiny measure, but it just seems to me that people aren't hiding in their basements clutching the last few dollars in their wallet. People are still out and spending money. Yeah, many of us aren't spending like we were a year or two ago. But, for us, that is because we have household expenses that have increased - not because we think the sky is falling and recession is imminent. Increasing gas and grocery prices are impacting us. I think twice about meeting friends for lunch in Fort Worth (about a 30-40 minute drive for me) and I am eating more at home than going out. But, that is simply being practical. (Army of Dad don't have a cardiac).

Anyway. I just keep hearing all these tales of woe about this recession that I don't see. I chuckled when I read this news story this morning.

To some senior retail real estate executives, the constant stream of dire warnings about an economic slowdown amount to a self-fulfilling prophecy. “I believe that if we have a recession it’s because we ‘want’ to have one, and we’ll come out of it quickly,” said Greg Maloney, president of retail for Jones Lang LaSalle Inc. Nationwide, he noted, retail sales have slipped in only one month out of the last 12.

Maloney also predicts that Washington will come up with a stimulus package that will spur consumer spending. Even if the main problems with the economy are uncertainty and lack of confidence, as Maloney argues, the impact on retailers and their plans appears to be real. In the short term, Maloney is watching the market for retail bankruptcies, which he noted tend to crop up more in January and February than in other months.

Certain sectors of the retail economy, and some categories of shopping centers, will feel the pinch through much of 2008. The rule of thumb, Maloney says, is that consumers will tend to cut back in non-necessity categories like luxury items and home furnishings.

“It’s going to affect those things where people have the choice, and where they feel the pinch, they’re going to come back,” he said. In particular, the trouble in the housing market that was accelerated by last year’s sub-prime debacle hastened the demise of the Levitz and Bombay home furnishings chains, which decided last fall to shutter their stores nationwide.

--
I could go on and on, but there aren't enough hours in the day for me to bitch/debate/discuss this stuff AND get my personal responsibilities made. For now, I have to find where I put Hot Rod's report card, finish the laundry and write a 1,300-word story on the state of retail in Phoenix. *rub down the goosebumps, I know it is exciting*

1.27.2008

Want some fries with that shake?

Damn. If I had this girl's body, I don't think I'd ever wear clothes. *sigh* I did get ego strokes this weekend being told that I don't look my age. That was nice.

1.25.2008

Guess what's for dinner?

A man killed a deer and after having the meat processed, he took it home and cooked it for dinner.

Both he and his wife decided that they wouldn't tell the kids what kind of meat it was, but would give them a clue and let them guess.

The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.

Well, he said, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."

The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it, it's an asshole!"

1.24.2008

LINGO

Breaks that are 2 and 2 ... how could I not like this show? Lingo has my man, Chuck Woolery, as the host and it is right up my alley - with words. Of course, my husband kicks my ass at word games. Boggle ends up in wars in our house. The only way I can win is to play late at night, when I'm at my best and he's tired.

Speaking of playing ... the doctor gave me the go-ahead. Woo hoo!!!!!! I'm going for a record: breaking our fifth bed!!!

Mahnahmahnah!

This is my kids' favorite thing. We got Season 1 of the Muppet Show on DVD for Christmas and this is on there. They love it. I can't wait to get Season 2 on DVD.

You Really Got Me

I had this giant poster of David Lee Roth over my bed when I was in junior high. One of the first albums I bought was Van Halen one with this and Running with the Devil. Hee hee. My first sex dream was about David Lee Roth. LOL

I don't feel tardy

I am having a crappy day so far. Too much work, not enough time and again, dishes overflowing in the sink. My own personal honey-do list is about to be on its second page and it isn't getting done any time soon either. Dunno. The thought "I don't feel tardy" just popped into my head with all that on my mind.

1.23.2008

Inside AoM's Studio

Something about Inside the Actors Studio is sort of amusing. There are times I like to watch it, although not very often.

I do like the stupid questions he asks. I thought I might try and give it a go. According the Wikipedia entry about it, these are the top 10 questions asked of actors by James Lipton:

What is your favorite word? mom
What is your least favorite word? cunt
What turns you on? a light breath or blow on my neck, among other things
What turns you off? bad breath
What sound or noise do you love? the sound of AoD locking the door to our bedroom suite because it means something good is about to happen and he doesn't want to be interrupted by children
What sound or noise do you hate? the crashing of cars or AoD using the remote to flip through channels
What is your favorite curse word? probably the F-bomb, although I'm a wordsmith with cursing
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? journalism teacher
What profession would you not like to do? pretty much anything Mike Rowe does on Dirty Jobs
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? See, that was painless. Welcome, come on in.

Anyone else wanna play along? Do so and let me know in the comment thread.

I'm Too Sexy

I loved this song, as cheesey as it is/was. It always makes me giggle. Especially when I remember right after it came out - I worked at a local newspaper and one of the reporters there had this hunky teenaged son. I had just started working there when he knocked on the newsroom door and asked for my fellow reporter. I went to her and said "Hey, there is hunky guy out here to see you." She came back in smiling. "That hunky dude is my son." I must have turned 18 shades of red. He was hunky, though. He later stripped his way through college if I remember correctly.

1.22.2008

I'm getting the shakes

Ok. Day 5 post-op and if I can't have sex soon, I may explode.

Two more days. Follow up with doctor Thursday to approve resuming my wifely duties. Damn my husband's self control.

Don't call me after 9 p.m. on Thursday night. And, maybe I should call Army of Dad's boss to let him know that he may be late or walking funny on Friday morning.

My presidential hopes are down the drain

More sad news today: the only TRUE conservative in the presidential race dropped out. Fred Thompson announced his decision today. I'm not sure who I'll support now. Any good libertarians going to be on the ballot?

Sleep finally found him

One of my favorite actors - Heath Ledger - died today. Apparently, he was having a hard time sleeping and overdosed on sleeping pills. His housekeeper and masseuse found him naked in bed. I've dreamed of finding him that way, too, but never when he couldn't be awakened with some motivation. I'm terribly saddened. He was very talented, in addition to being incredibly handsome. He had a young daughter that he was devoted to and she will never know her dad. That is the saddest part of it all.

I have loved him in every movie I've seen from the beautiful Brokeback Mountain to the goofy 10 Things I Hate About You and A Knight's Tale. He is always entertaining and fun to watch. The Patriot is a family favorite, too. I need to see Ned Kelly, Casanova and I'm Not There, too.

Rest in peace Heath.

1.21.2008

Stardate 12.25.08

OHMIGOD!!!! The dork in me just about peed her pants!!!! I have a new movie to look forward to. I know where I will be on Christmas Day. And, I'll be damned if Karl Urban isn't going to be in this movie, too. *fanning self*

Those crazy fashionistas are at it again

Ah, yes. Hong Kong Fashion Week has brought us a number of new outfits for my spring wardrobe. First, from the Sith Lord collection.






Then, from the I just got arrested for turning tricks collection.











Next, we have the Britney Spears/Lindsay Lohan, I was used up and tossed out of a moving car last night after closing the bar down and running a train with all these guys look.






How did this one get in there? I actually plan to wear this one on Valentine's Day as the Naughty Nurse or Head Nurse, take your pick.









From the Hannibal collection.







For Syracuse fans.











For flabby arms, you get the opposite effect.











And, finally, the bad hair day hat.

Wildlife anniversaries

I'm on the weirdest email lists. I get regular emails from Zoo and Aquarium Visitor and my favorite so far has to be the organization's effort to get people to go to the attractions for Valentine's Day. They sent out the Wildlife Anniversary Celebrations list to tell you which animal you are for your particular anniversary. This year, Army of Dad and are I bears. *snickering* I have a gay friend who would call Army of Dad a bear if he could. *laughing hysterically* But, he is my honey, so I shouldn't laugh.

Why I don't work for newspapers anymore

Apparently, a former journalist turned professor did a study on journalism burnout. The lead on the story on Gawker.com explains why:
"You make crap for cash. Your achievements are barely noticed. Your company's idea of encouragement is not firing you. The last time you spent more than twenty good minutes with your kids or significant other was two weeks ago, give or take a month."

Yep, that pretty much sums up why I left daily newspaper reporting and went to working for a business journal. Most especially the making crap for cash. Every now and then, I see a listing for a job at the local paper. They want you to work shitty hours and make like $500 a week BEFORE all the taxes, etc. Uh, no thank you.

Then, one of of the study's findings is listed - Newsroom stressors:
"Meeting newspaper deadlines, pressure to produce good work, low pay, media competition, long hours, implementing new technology, and conflict between work and family."

Well, duh. One job I had, we all stood around and flipped channels for the 5 and 6 p.m. news to make sure the TV stations didn't have something that we missed. If they did, we were scrambling to produce a better and more detailed story than the TV station had for the next morning's paper. No pressure there.

My favorite comment on Gawker was this: 62% of you are pretty damn sure your decision to be a journalist might have been a great big ginormous mistake.

:) You ought to see me on Career Day at school trying to talk about my job without encouraging kids to be journalists. Writers, yes. Journalists, no.

Take the wheel

A friend of mine sent me "Cletus, Take the Reel" spoofing Carrie Underwood's "Jesus, Take the Wheel." I love the Carrie Underwood song, but if you love a fisherman, you'll giggle at Cletus, Take the Reel.

My husband's new name

One of our former soccer moms emailed me this joke this morning. I think she knows me and Army of Dad too well.

A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man, standing alone. She approached him.
"My name is Carmen," she told him.
"That's a beautiful name," he replied, "Is it a family name?"
"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most -- cars and men."
"What's your name?" she asked.
With a smile he replied, "B.J. Titsenbeer."

1.20.2008

Hunter orange

Watching the Packers-Giants freezing their keesters off and I laughed at all the hunter orange parkas and hats in the seats. I'm guessing some of those Cheeseheads' warmest gear is used around the end of deer season. I suppose they may wear that same stuff ice fishing, too, dontcha ya know?

Ah, you betcha.

1.18.2008

TGIF

I'm alright, just not functioning at a super high level today. That is sort of amusing since I am trying to work. Not a lot, but some.

Oddly enough, my guts don't hurt at all. No pain whatsoever there. What does hurt is my arm. Apparently I have teeny tiny little veins. After the nurse couldn't get my IV started in my hand, the anesthesiologist tried in my arm and apparently he missed and was just pumping fluids into my arm and not a vein. So, he was mashing around to keep a fluid pocket from forming. SO, I have a giant bruise (pictured, on my bicep area) where he did that. My arm hurts like hell, too. He finally got the IV in the other arm no problem. Three's a magic number, apparently. So, I'm ok. I'm just still really groggy and weak. Top it all off with the fact that the short-acting steroid shot I got on Monday to clear my sinuses wore off and now I'm all stopped up again. That just makes it hard to focus or talk for me.

Anyway. I'm waiting to do a phone interview at 2:30 and then I'm going to crawl back onto the couch and sleep some more. Hibernation seems to be my hobby.

1.16.2008

Hyster-whatamy?

I can't seem to make it a solid year without having some part of me go under the knife or laser or whatever instrument of torture some man or woman with initials after his or her name wields.

*sigh*

This time, it will be hysteroscopy and removal of a uterine polyp. However, while I'm anxious, I'm excited about the prospects of the outcome for the procedure.

No eating or drinking after midnight tonight. I'll go in to my OB/GYN's office at 8:30 in the morning to prep for a 9:30 a.m. procedure. I'll be on "twilight anesthesia" where I'm still awake and can respond to commands, but pretty much out of it.

The doctor said he is going to do the hysteroscopy first to check things out in my uterus with a little camera thing. Then, he'll remove the polyp and send it off for biopsy. At that point, he'll do the endometrial ablation, in which he'll scrape the lining out of the uterus. The idea is to deter the heavy periods and PMS symptoms. It will also make sure that I don't pop out any more puppies (even after the tubal ligation.)

Upon waking, I have been told that I will feel really crampy and probably want to be on the couch and doing nothing on Thursday. On Friday, most people are fine and can do simple things like take the kids to school, but won't feel like doing much else. I was told not to plan anything big for Friday. While the procedure doesn't impact hormones - just the lining of the uterus - enough patients are saying PMS is decreased, so a study is going to be started, the nurse at the anesthesia office told me. About three to four months into it, I will probably notice the decrease in PMS symptoms, since it takes a bit for your body to adjust and hormones to level out no more PMS, no bloating, no pain.

I'm stoked about those results. Not so stoked about how I'll feel tomorrow and Friday, but excited about the long term results.

Say a few prayers for me. Please. I should be back at the computer on Friday. No rest for the wicked and all.

1.15.2008

80s Music

This was one of those songs that I loved because it was "bad" and I was a good girl. I felt very naughty singing this in my car while driving down the road. It allowed me have a bit of a naughty streak without anyone else knowing. Then, I got to college and the naughty streak came out. Not a good idea to completely repress your teenager; just a thought. It catches up with us when we get our freedom. Plus, this song reminds me of seeing two vultures doing it on top of a phone pole the other day. Swear to God. Two vultures going at it on top of a phone pole. I almost drove off the road. That is something you don't see every day.

Love Stoned

It's not the official Lovestoned video by Justin Timberlake, but you can still here the great song and look at the cutie patootey, if you so desire. I LOVE this guy and this song. I'm so cheesey. Sue me.

You feeling lucky, huh, punk?

Well, I usually have good luck when it comes to contests - except the lottery, not so much there - so I thought, what the thell?

I got an email from Goldsmith Jewelry in Orlando, Fla. Seems the owner, Don, is running a contest. He is giving away a pair of 1 carat diamond stud earrings valued at $1,500 as part of a Valentine's Day promotion. To enter, he asked me to write a post about Goldsmith Jewelry on the blog and include a link to the site.

He said he has been serving the Orlando market for more than 30 years and the viewers of Channel 2 News in Orlando recently selected the store as their Favorite Jeweler. He also claims to be the the area's largest independant diamond broker.

Winners will be announced on Feb. 10. So, go visit Goldsmith Jewelry if you're in Orlando and in the market for some diamonds. Tell him Army of Mom sent you. I wonder how successful of an ad campaign this will be for the store. Could be a new, fairly inexpensive way to market a business, I'm thinking.

Overwhelmed

That seems to be the word I have used the most in the past four months: overwhelmed. According to Merriam-Webster online, to overwhelm means to:
1: upset overthrow
2 a: to cover over completely : submerge b: to overcome by superior force or numbers c: to overpower in thought or feeling

Yep, that about sums it up. It has been just that kind of time for me. I had a fellow blogger email to see if I'm ok since I've been blogging only about "surface" stuff and nothing real deep. She's right about that. I've probably alienated all dozen of you out there who like to come to read about the deep thoughts of a suburban soccer mom, read her dirty little bedroom thoughts and/or listen to me bitch, so you can tell me what a shitbag I am. I know who you are. :) You think I don't notice you, but I do.

Nothing is wrong. I'm just, well, overwhelmed with responsibilities. Not that it is necessarily bad. I have been bombarded with story assignments, which is great because we can use the money. I'll be making calls next week to get bids for a new air conditioning unit for the house, for one. The fence is about to fall down completely. My 5-year-old keeps telling me she wished we had money to replace the kitchen floor and we burned two holes in our office carpet when the fireplace shot out hot embers. *sigh* Not to mention that it is expensive to keep the kids in soccer, baseball, basketball, karate, tennis, tap and ballet dancing. Oh yeah, and tumbling. The kid wants to do tumbling, too.

My Christmas tree is still up in the front room. The decorations are all upstairs lining the walls, minus the nativity and Precious Moments figures which are still on my bar. The kids have three weeks of clean clothes that they haven't put up in their rooms. The dining room needs to be swept, mopped and dusted. I haven't even walked into the upstairs bathroom because I'm afraid of what might crawl out at me. Dishes are piled up in the sink from just one day of not doing them and there is a load of clean dishes in the dishwasher to be put away. I have a clean load of laundry on the couch to be folded up and another load in the drier waiting for me.

On Thursday, I'm going to have my uterine polyp removed and an ablation done at the doctor's office under twilight anesthesia. Of course, LabKat had a procedure with this anesthesia on Monday and woke up. I read about Glenn Beck of CNN having his procedure fouled up. I read about some other celeb whose newborn twins were given a giant dose of heparin and almost died and the hospital didn't tell him about it until after the fact. *giant sigh* So, I'm just anxious. Good thing the doctor gave me the Xanax to take tomorrow and Thursday morning. I think I'll be popping that stuff out.

Mom is recovering well from her open heart surgery and now is wanting more of my time, which I can't give and that gives me a big case of the guilts. So, did I say nothing was wrong? Honestly, nothing is. It is just, well, overwhelming right now.

1.13.2008

Well that sucked

Not sure how else to say it or, even, what else to say.

*sigh*

The Cowboys didn't play badly. They really didn't. They just didn't make the plays that had to be made. Romo was stressed, that was clear. Marion did just about all he could be asked to do. The Giants just played better.

*double sigh*

Prayer for the Cowboys

*praying*
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Dear God,
I know you're a fan, because we created a stadium with the big hole in the top, so you can watch. So, with that in mind, would you please make T.O.'s ankle stronger, Terry Glenn's and Andre Gurode's knees better and please keep Roy Williams from horse-collaring anyone? God, would you also please keep Tony Romo smiling and completing passes? Keep Marion Barber determined and successful and give him lots of touchdowns. Lord, let the defense play well and, if it isn't blasphemous, please let Brandon Jacobs turn an ankle or something (nothing bad, but bad enough to not play in the game today).

Please, God, let the Cowboys win. I don't want to listen to Army of Dad gloat over his predicted loss of the Cowboys today.

Thank you, God.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

1.11.2008

It really is a Gator Nation

Today, I wore the Florida Gators sweatshirt my sister-in-law gave me for Christmas. Dropping off my daughter at preschool, I had one mom ask me about it because she's a Gator. Later in the day while signing up Hot Rod for day camp, one of the parks and rec ladies asked me about it because she's a Gator, too. It really is a Gator Nation. It is funny because not long after I met my Gator husband, I was wearing a Florida State Seminoles shirt. I didn't know it was Florida State, I just liked it. But, the look if distaste on his face when he saw it is incredibly amusing in retrospect.

A special birthday song

videoThis was a very special birthday for my mother after she had open heart surgery in November. The best part is the singing, though. My kids will likely never have a career in music, although theater may be in their future. That's my dad, too. Never known for his singing, although he does a great imitation of the Muppets' Swedish Chef. Hot Rod multi-tasked by recording the video while singing. I still like my mom's addition to the song. :) And Many More! Many more, indeed.

One of these things is not like the other

videoJust like on Sesame Street when you have to pick the item that just doesn't belong with the others: this poor dad stuck out like a sore thumb. This was about as excited as he got. Most of the time, his head was down and he looked like he would rather be rubbing ground glass in his eyes than be here. Little Bit started her first combination class of ballet and tap yesterday and I fretted over how to keep Hot Rod entertained for an hour of this stuff. But, my worries were for naught when we saw the miserable dad across the room. Hot Rod rolled in laughter at this poor dad trying to keep from gouging his eyeballs out after an hour of ballet and tap with 4-, 5- and 6-year-olds. But, you can hear the incessant taps that lasted for 30 minutes. I had a headache by the end of class.

Romo-Sexual

This has to be one of the funniest things I've seen in a looooooong time. I almost spit my Diet Coke all over the monitor (but Army of Dad, I didn't, so there is progress. I didn't even come close to dropping my cell phone in it, either!). But I digress.

If you've ever see the Chris Crocker YouTube "leave Britney alone" clip, then you will find this completely hysterical. A local stand-up comic created a "Leave Romo Alone" video. It is comedy genius. I really did almost spit out my drink when he declared "Romo for president!"

You've got to see it and giggle. Even if you're not a Cowboys fan.

1.10.2008

Tick tock, you don't stop

Oooh, cheesey music. I love this shit!!! I am embarrassed to say I actually owned this on a cassette. I had to hide it from Uzz because he would have burned it. I hadn't thought about this song in years, but Drawn Together made a reference to it and it made me giggle. The white dude in the video with the bobbed hair and George Michael 5 o'clock shadow looks like my roomie from my freshman year at Baylor (minus the razor stubble). Sort of creepy. But, I still can't help singing Tick Tock, you don't stop.

I SHOT THE SHERIFF

I heard this song on the road tonight and just had to crank up the radio. I love it. I went through a phase when I was about 15 when I listened to Bob Marley and Jimmy Cliff ALOT. Just brought back a lot of happy memories of making my mom nuts. She loved me listening to Van Halen and Rick Springfield, but this music just made her nuts. Probably why I liked it so much. Plus, it wasn't in vogue at the time either, being about five to 10 years (give or take) past its prime.

Everything is wonderful now

I know people are beginning to wonder if I've curled into a post-holiday fetal position in the corner of my home office. I've gotten a few emails from people asking where all the blog posts are and I don't have much of an answer. I'm overwhelmed with work and family commitments. I'm feeling under the weather with allergies, too. I thought I'd post an upbeat little ditty, but instead, I'm posting this really good Everclear song about how children in divorcing families feel. *sigh* Yeah, leave it to me to do something positive. Gees. On a high note, after two months of sporadic reading, I finally finished Stephen King's "It."

1.07.2008

Everybody Clap Your Hands

I'm addicted. I heard this song for the first time at Chuck E. Cheese when the big old mousey guy was dancing with the kids. Now, I hear it at the UNT basketball games. It is so much fun to do with the kids. Radio Disney plays it, too.

Criss Cross
Cha cha real slow
now Charlie Brown (Pickle is good at this!)

Enjoy and get off your ass!

Great mystery of life

Can anyone explain to me how I can be horribly congested AND have a runny nose simultaneously?

The winds blew in big time on Friday night bringing my allergies with them.

Ah-choo.

1.06.2008

By the light of the full moon

Last summer, Army of Dad and I attended a sales pitch for a vacation club plan in exchange for getting a free trip to Las Vegas. Now, to get your trip, you have to put down a $100 deposit and stand on one foot while hopping, rubbing your head and reciting the alphabet only on the night of a full moon when Saturn is in the path of a falling star. Ok, maybe you don't have to jump through that many hoops, but it is close.

I'm pretty meticulous at keeping records and made sure to send correspondence certified mail to make sure they couldn't say they never got something. Well, apparently, you have to pick certain dates that are 45 days apart and don't bump into holiday times, etc, etc. It seems on the second time of picking dates, I inadvertently wrote down June 25 instead of June 24 (which made it a Wednesday instead of a Tuesday), so they kicked that out as not meeting their criteria. They claim to have sent me a letter back in October telling me to pick more dates. Well, I never got it. Our first choice of dates was Feb. 26, but I hadn't heard from them, so I thought I'd call to make sure we were going that time or another. This is when they inform me that I "breached the terms of the agreement" by not picking "appropriate dates to meet the criteria" of the agreement, etc, etc and now it is too late to pick three dates that are 45 days apart (aside from their blackout dates) by July 19. Therefore, I cannot take the trip. I begged, pleaded and even cried. I asked for a manager and all were equally stoic in the whole "breach of the agreement" crap and refused to relent. They didn't care that I didn't get the letter. Apparently, the responsibility was mine to make sure that everything was in order. *rolling my eyes* I didn't know I had written down the wrong number while trying to meet all the "requirements of the contract", so how would I know that all wasn't well with the world? Well, that wasn't their problem. They just know that I "breached the agreement" and that is all that matters. They'll send back my $100. Yippee. I guess that is better than nothing, but I'm terribly disappointed. I told the guy that I understand that I wrote down the date incorrectly, but there was no way to simply initial that choice and change the date by ONE frigging day. No way. I said, come on, you have to have a procedure in place for simple errors like this. We jumped through all the hoops and you have records to show that! You can't adjust this one thing? Nope. Heartless. This guy could have a career in bill collections, I think.

The only satisfaction I got was telling this supervisor what I thought of his company, their policies and their "contract." Will it make a difference, no? But, I felt a little better about things.

AoD's idea of a reality show

I irritate my husband with my love for trashy reality shows. I loved Beauty and the Geek, Age of Love and Temptation Island. I even watched Dancing with the Stars briefly when Emmitt Smith made the finals. My husband is flipping channels when he casually says:

"If they made pole-dancing with the stars; that, I'd watch."

My best friend was right

I have always been self-conscious of my appearance. When I was a young girl, I hated being the only girl who needed a bra. Older boys paid attention to me at an early age. At 14, I had college-age suitors. Whenever I worried about my stomach or legs looking big, my best gal pal has always said "they'll never notice anything below your chest!" And, I think she's right. Army of Dad snapped this picture of me over the weekend (I think he likes this blouse!!! Can't imagine why?) and I posted it on MySpace as my main pic. I like the way my hair looks and there is very little glare from my glasses. *shrug* I guess I should have cropped out the cleavage. I got an email from some guy hitting on me the day after posting this picture. Then, a high school friend posted a comment about the pic and commenting on my eyes. Yeahhhh, it was my eyes that he noticed. Sure. That guy never noticed my eyes in high school (he always thought they were in my chest then, too). So, I had to laugh out loud at that one. He had an LOL attached to his comment, so maybe he recalled talking to my boobs all through high school, too. *shrug* My honey says men are nice to me because I have (as he lovingly describes it) "big cans." So, with that thought ... who wants to buy me an Ipod? I'm dying to have one. :) AoM needs a sugar daddy and Army of Dad realizes we need a new air conditioning unit, new fence, new flooring ... well, you get the idea. :)

1.03.2008

Do as I say, not as I do

Hot Rod comes running in from playing in the backyard where I can still hear Little Bit yelling.

AoM: Who is your sister yelling at?
Hot Rod: Oh, she's in the little car pretending like she's stuck in traffic.
AoM: *quizzical look* Ok, go tell her not to use some of the words mom uses.
Hot Rod: *laughing* Yeah, she's yelling "Move it, butt nugget!"

*sigh*

Add a few more things to that new year's resolution list. Stop yelling in traffic. On the bright side, she hasn't called anyone a douchebag. Yet.

Long Day

This song came out while I was dating Army of Dad and it always reminds me of that time in my life. I was recently divorced and a single mom struggling to keep my head above water. Long Day was the way I felt - "pull out some hope for me." Then, when I met AoD, the line about "no one else will take this shit from me" seemed particularly appropriate added to the "I can't get myself to go away." I've always battled with myself; it's hard to explain, but if you know me, you understand. Good tune.

This bed is on fire

One of my all-time favorite songs. *giggling* I can't help but dance and sing when I hear it. Be afraid. I was going to post the music video, but they censored the best part and the video is a wee bit disturbing. I know. You're all shocked. Me. Disturbing videos. Sex theme. Pattern?

-30-

That was the banner headline across two more newspapers that published their last issues. It is another sad moment for print journalism. I vividly remember the loss of the Dallas Times Herald. It shrinks job opportunities for people like me and makes the job market tight for all of us. This means another influx of people vying for the same jobs I'm trying to get. I never like that, but it is also another nail in the coffin of what many people have called "dead tree reporting."

And, just FYI. The -30- is what reporters put at the end of our stories, so the editors know that they are done and aren't missing anything. If you click on the link, in the headline, the word 'hed' is used. More journalistic jargon - our short name for a headline.

-30-

WWAoMD?

In researching topics for a blog I produce for a national professional organization, I ran across this great piece about the overuse of cliches in journalism. I use a lot of these in my blog stuff on here and in emails and everyday language. But, in a newspaper or magazine? Taboo.

I just thought we'd start a new one instead of What Would Jesus Do (WWJD)? We'll have What Would Army of Mom Do? I think that leaves the field wide open in most cases.

1.01.2008

Already blown it

What are we into the new year? About 17 hours or so ... and I've already blown two of the resolutions.

Avoiding the use of 'shut up' was blown about eight hours into the new year when the two little ones kept bickering over and over and over while mom's tired butt was trying to get more than four hours of sleep accomplished at that time.

Second one blown: eating better. Lunch: pizza. Dinner: bean dip and wavy Lays.

*sigh*

There is always tomorrow.