Heads Will Roll
BO's Terrible Secret
"I find your socialism disturbing."
It's true. Tsk, tsk. We should have known.
Weep for the country, I will.
My Little Polichinelle (aka Baby Buffoon)
This is a recent Nutcracker rehearsal for Little Bit as a baby buffoon AKA polichenelle. It is so adorable to see these little gals dancing. The baby buffoons come out during Clara's dream sequence. Little Bit will be the one in the long-sleeved white body suit closest to the camera.
I found a really neat little study sheet for kids watching the Nutcracker at the Ballet Theatre of Lancaster. According to that study sheet a Polichinelle (pronounced: poe LEE shee nell) is a French word that literally translated means "Punch," the Punch of the English puppet duo, Punch and Judy. They were the original comedy act, created in the 1700s. These puppets' loud arguments escalated into fights in which they hit and punched each other. Here, "polichinelles" means buffoons, or comic characters. In the Donetsk version of The Nutcracker, the Polichinelles are tiny, active characters who disrupt the more dignified dances of the dolls in the Land of Sweets. Mother Ginger has to gather them up and take them away before they get into trouble. Yep, that pretty much sums up my daughter. :) I literally had tears in my eyes watching her. Funny how proud a mom can be over the simplest of things.
39 Going on 13
Mom, they look like they're eating each other's faces!
I'm still singing Fabulous from High School Musical 2. What can I say? I love this song. Sharpay is a great character.
I like to move it, move it
Sorry I've been a bad blogger. I have gotten involved on a home project of clearing out junk and now I'm working on getting all my thousands - seriously - of photographs into photo albums and categorized. I just purchased my 2008 pictures. I hadn't bought pictures all year long. So, I just picked those up today and now I have to sort through all of them for baby books, friends, etc. So, I will try to get back to blogging later this week.
We voted today. Hooray. Early voting in Texas - we voted at the fairgrounds. Yee Haw!
Not sure what inspired me to pull out my Johnny Cash CD last night, but it was fired up in the minivan this morning when this song came on. (one of my favorite Johnny Cash songs, by the way) Hot Rod starts giggling and says "Did he say they're going to trash can?" Of course, then we had to change all the song lyrics. We listened to Ring of Fire (another fave) and he started making up lyrics about tires instead of fire. He is pretty clever.
But, we had this Jackson. Then, after walking the kids in, I saw a little fella standing the foyer of the school looking at a poster with something clearly missing. He looks like he is about to burst into tears. So, not seeing any parents around, I go over and try to help. I see he has a poster board full of pictures and captions with "Jackson's Firsts" written at the top. I remember this assignment as Hot Rod did it in the second grade, too.
AoM: Are you have a problem, bud?
Jackson: *nodding head and pointing to missing picture and then showing me the picture in his hand*
AoM: Oh. You just need some glue or tape and that will be fixed up no problem. Who's your teacher?
Jackson: Ms. S******.
AoM: *smiling* Well, you're in luck. I know Ms. S****** and I'll walk you there. *picking up his poster*
So, do you like to ride horses? *looking at his first horse ride picture*
Jackson: Yeah! *nodding head vigorously*
So, we get to Ms. S******'s room and I ask her for some tape, I put some tape on the back of the kid's picture and he puts it on the poster and smiles like his face is going to split open.
So, I've had two positive Jackson interactions this morning. Let's hope we have a third somewhere along the line. I could use some good news just about now.
Spreading the Wealth
Today on my way to lunch I passed a homeless guy with a sign that read " Vote Obama, I need the money."
Once in the restaurant my server had on a "Obama 08" tie, again I laughed as he had given away his political preference--just imagine the coincidence.
When the bill came I decided not to tip the server and explained to him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need--the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight.
I went outside, gave the homeless guy $5 and told him to thank the server inside as I've decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful.
At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn even though the actual recipient needed money more.
I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application.
P.S. This is Army of Mom again. I have determined that I now know how Democrats felt in the 2004 election. They weren't fired up for John Kerry, but they hated President Bush. I'm not fired up about John McCain, but I really don't like BO's socialist views. Hard to believe I'm relating to the Dems, but I am. Just my two cents again people, be careful what you wish for.
It's The End Of The World As We Know It
Yep. Beware. I go today for my substitute teacher orientation. Four hours of fun. Not. But, be afraid. I could be guiding your youngsters in their education. Bwaaahhahahahaaaaa!
Yesterday, it was a gorgeous 72 degrees when I sent my children to school in the morning. This morning, it was 37 degrees when I sent them to school! Yep, that is Texas in the fall. I knew it was going to be bad when I woke up this morning and was freezing despite wearing pajamas and being covered up with a thermal blanket and a quilt (with flannel on one side!).
But, that's ok. I actually like this kind of weather. I mean, where else can you have sweatshirts and shorts next to each other in your closet and legitimately not know which you'll be wearing next week or on Thanksgiving? That is sort of cool to me. *get it? Cool? Pun?* Never mind.
Where's the fire?
The weather was wonderful. Not too hot and sunny, so we did everything in the back yard. Bonus for mom not having to clean the inside again. The little girl next to her has been her best friend since they were 2. They went to preschool together, but unfortunately don't go to the same school.
Yep, they're going to be sorority girls when they grow up. Not sure we'll be able to afford the same college as her best friend's family. She may be going to Vassar or something and my girl is hitting a state university.
We piled all the kids on the trampoline for present opening.
And, the big finale was a visit from the fire department! I love Little Bit's face in this picture. She was shocked that the fire department came to see her. Mom and LabKat were just happy to see the firefighters. See, I deserve a payoff for setting up the party and dealing with a dozen 5- and 6-year-olds and a grumpy 9-year-old who hated not being the center of attention.
We managed to get the fire truck here with a simple phone call. A former neighbor of mine did it for her son, so I thought I'd give it a try. What a great way to wrap up a party?
A song about me
What's On Your Mind
I have a to-do list a mile long including querying magazines for story assignments, completing deadlines, cleaning house, getting pictures from back in 2004 (and since) into photo albums. So, what am I doing? Yeah, listening to Information Society and remembering what I was doing my sophomore year in college to this song.
Which LOTR Character Am I?
LOTR Personality Quiz beware at the end because they'll try to tell you that have to sign up for some ad or promotional thing before they'll give you your results. I just filled out the first part with my email address and said screw it when it wouldn't let me see the results without signing up for something. Then, this landed in my email box. So, I guess there is something to it. Now, I start getting Viagra or Botox emails, I'll know who to blame. So, you were warned!
Gimli does have another of my favorite LOTR movie quotes: Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?
Open Letter to Clinton and Stacy:
You two are evil incarnate. I think you know this, though. I watch What Not to Wear every Friday night when my husband refs soccer games (cuz getting him to watch it is sheer torture for both of us, but that is another blog post). I love your show and try to incorporate your "rules" into my wardrobe.
But, tonight, you drove me to the brink of insanity. Off to my writers' group meeting and knowing that one of my former magazine editors would be there, I dressed nicer than my usual jeans, sweatshirt and sneakers. I pulled out the nice grey dress slacks with the bigger legs at the bottom, sexy yet professional dressy shirt with the print, criss cross, V-neck and the heels.
You guys can bite me about all the rules. I had to walk around with my stomach sucked in and my feet were killing me by the end of the night. Heels were not meant for soccer moms pushing 40. No no no no no. NO.
Hard to look professional when you're grimacing from the pain. So, Clinton and Stacy, unless you are going to fly down from NYC to ambush me with a $5,000 gift card to buy a new wardrobe, you may just have to make fun of me in my low rise jeans, too tight T-shirt and sneakers. Cuz, I'm all about comfort.
Until next time I need to make a good impression. *sigh*
army of mom
When you're feeling low
Today's courtesy whomp comes from an email prayer chain that I'm on. It is coordinated by a guy at the local university. He includes prayer requests from "young inmates" at a local juvenile correctional facility. These always seem to break my heart the most - coming from young men under the age of 18. The shit these kids have already dealt with and will most likely encounter whenever they get out (if they get out) amaze me.
Pray I don't get hurt in here. (name withheld)
Pray for my family because my father died last week and I loved him very much. (name withheld)
I am a homeless 17 yr old father of a 3 yr old and I'm stuck in jail. Pray God will turn my life around. (name withheld)
So, why don't you say a prayer for them, too? Thanks. Add me into the mix while you're on your knees.
I am no man!
It also makes me think of one of my favorite movie lines of all time - I think it just speaks volumes to me: Courage, Merry. Courage for our friends.
Apparently, some folks take offense at the response. *shrug* Never thought about it. It is a genuine response from me that it was no trouble at all to accommodate that person's request, gesture, effort, etc.
Now, my favorite is what I call the "Chick-fil-a response" of "my pleasure." It just makes me really like Chick-fil-a. A small gesture, but it really does make me feel like Josh the cashier is all about helping me out and not about collecting is $150 paycheck every Friday for a new CD or Wii game.
Stolen Blog Post
1. I played with Barbie dolls until I was 15.
2. I won the Art Award for my entire junior high when I was in the eighth grade.
3. I've had three c-sections.
4. My feet grew a half-size with every pregnancy. I wore a 5 1/2 in 1993. Now, I wear a 7.
5. I collect autographs. Mostly Major League Baseball players. But, I also collect sci-fi actors, too. I was on a streak (before I had children) of getting the rookie of the year players from both the NL and the AL for about three or four years straight. I got Kirby Puckett for Army of Dad the year before Puckett died.
Gees, now I'm on a role. I have so many more things I could say, too. Let's go on.
6. I plan to be Bettie Page for Halloween. *Don't you wish I'd trick or treat at your house? I may have a whip.*
7. Army of Dad's best friend brought us back a keffiyeh from Iraq on his last tour of duty.
8. I used to collect stamps, penguins and Precious Moments figurines.
9. I shattered my elbow doing a back handspring in the sixth-grade. I rebroke it making a play at the plate when I was 13. *got the bitch out, too*
10. I can never get a fire started in the fireplace.
Anyone else care to play? Give me 5 or 10 ... and let me know.
Korto was Robbed!!!
So, Kenley's was good, but definitely third place.
Korto and Leanne both had impeccable designs. Korto used her African heritage in the designs - which had me worried that they'd look like a Kwanzaa party on the runway. But, they were friggin incredible. BEAUTIFUL!!! I loved them. The colors popped. The dresses were gorgeous. There was just one dress that I thought was a little distasteful because it was sooooo short on the leggy model. But, even that wasn't that bad.
Leanne's line was beautiful. Very soft. I loved the blues and the shades of beige and white. But, she seemed like a one-trick pony. I know she was going for a theme, but ... the pants were gross to me, too. *shrug* But, what do I know?
This reminds me ...
So, anyway, I drop an F bomb because of something bad that happened in the game. Now, keep in mind, we're pretty much the only women sitting at the horseshoe shaped bar in this sports grill. There are men all around us within earshot.
AoM: What the fuck was that? *screaming at TV*
Stupid guy: Did you just say the F word?
AoM: Uh, yeah.
Stupid guy: You're the youngest old woman I've ever heard say the F word.
AoM: *giving him the 'oh no you didn't just say that face'*
Men all around the bar: *giving stupid guy the 'oh no you didn't just say that face' and looking at me incredulously
Stupid guy's friend who had been hitting on me: My friend is stupid. He doesn't know what he's saying.
AoM: *still looking at him like WTF*
Stupid guy: What I meant to say is that older women like you don't usually use the F word.
AoM:*still looking at him like WTF* You're not helping yourself. Just shut up.
Men all around the bar: *still looking at him like he's stupid*
Stupid guy: Ma'am, I didn't mean ...
AoM: You don't get laid much, do you?
Stupid guy: *giving me a blank expression like he doesn't understand why I'd say that*
Men all around the bar: *laughing out loud and smacking their fists on the bar in hilarity*
Stupid guy's friend who had been hitting on me: You know what? You're right. Excuse my stupid friend here.
After this exchange, everything that I said was said with an old lady joke. I believe I made jokes about needing some Depends, maybe hitting him with my cane, etc etc. Every time I said something, all the guys around us erupted in more laughter. Me? I left with a complex. The only thing that kept me from being traumatized was the 20-something good looking Bears fan earlier hitting on me. That guy was hot and flirted with me, unlike the dumbass who called me old.
So, all that leads to a page I stumbled upon while avoiding work called How Not to Get Laid. The first story I saw was great. Nothing like a parrot to kill a mood. It was seeing this page that reminded me of the stupid Bengals fan and how he will never get laid.
The Nation's New Robin Hood
But, here the New York Post has the full video and a story about the exchange. Regardless of your politics, it is a good video clip to see. For BO supporters, it is good just to know what your candidate is saying. For those on the fence, again, good to know what BO is saying. For people like me, it smacks of socialism.
Be careful what you ask for, people. I'm not so much FOR McCain as I'm opposed to BO's socialism.
*putting away soapbox*
Sex Kitten Evolution
Wearing my 2005 NCAA Women's National Champs Baylor basketball t-shirt (forest green with gold), a pair of red Hawaiian print pajama bottoms, my red cable fleece robe and my fuzzy baby blue slippers with little yellow crowns with the word "princess" on each one.
All you men hold yourselves back. I'm hawt.
Three Weeks to Go
Someone wake me up on my birthday (Nov. 7). I may hibernate in the meantime.
RIP, Superbowl Dreams
Wanna know why?
QB Tony Romo has a broken finger on his throwing hand.
Punter Mat McBriar has a broken foot.
WR Sam Hurd needs surgery on his left ankle.
RB Felix Jones has a strained hamstring.
Linebacker Anthony Spencer has a strained hamstring.
WR T.O. has a strained labia.
We're so totally screwed. I wonder if it is too late to get an Adrian Peterson jersey and join my husband?
I still don't feel sorry for him. I still sympathize with the two women he raped and killed. Go figure.
My Christmas Wish List
I'm a sick intercourse
I've been forever honored for my stupid caps in The Terrible Secret Behind the Best Ofs...
Happy Sixth Birthday Princess
I love you, baby. Happy Birthday.
Fading Memories of N'Awlins
Sunday afternoon, we lucked into an Octoberfest parade. Very fun. We loaded up on beads and a few assorted souvenirs that they tossed out, too.
In the daylight it looks much different, but this was one of our favorite places on Bourbon Street. We danced the night away next to the stage listening to a great cover band playing favorites from the 80s, 90s and today. Good stuff.
And, of course, the Superdome where the Vikes smacked down the Saints the day after I returned.
And, our hotel. The Hotel Monteleone. It was gorgeous and only one block from Bourbon Street. Made stumbling back pretty easy. Lots of cops and security everywhere, so that was nice, too.
Top Of The World
Man, I'm a dork. So many things just make me realize that. The fact that I searched out The Carpenters on YouTube, the fact that I emailed Little Bit's 2007 birthday invitation to all my friends and lastly - while watching Cash Cab last night - I knew Times New Roman was the answer to a question. That wasn't the dorkiest part. Nope, that came when I blurted out "That's my favorite font!" My husband just looked at me blankly.
Hook 'em Horns!
It also brings shitloads of Okies and Longhorns through our beloved North Texas with their little car flags flying, the beer cans concealed in koozies as they fly down I-35 (ok, flying may be an exaggeration as the traffic grows more and more congested, even as far north as my neck of the woods).
While working on some construction stories due today, I found the UT-OU traffic advisory from TxDOT.
Medical News To Use
And, it would seem a solution to embryonic stem cell research may have been found in YOUR PANTS! A story in the journal, Nature, showed that cells taken from men's testicles seem as versatile as the stem cells derived from embryos making this researchers yet another new approach in a burgeoning scientific field. The new type of stem cells could be useful for growing personalized replacement tissues, according to a study in the journal Nature. But because of their source, their highest promise would apply to only half the world's population: men.
But, it's a start!
MILFs on Bourbon Street: Friday Night Lights
Or maybe a few photo ops. Isn't that cathedral gorgeous? We had hoped to make it to mass Saturday night, but it started at 5 p.m. and my meetings didn't end until about 5:15.
Right after I snapped this pic of BFF was when Dwayne came over to regale me with praise for my beauty. Wow. He was laying it on thick, but I have to say it was really flattering. My own dear husband has been endeavoring to toss out a compliment here and there, but that isn't really in his nature to do. So, I know he is working hard when he does it (he did, however, slip some sweet little love notes in my laptop bag and book for me to find while I was gone.) Hmm. Looking at these pictures and I think we alerady looked blitzed.
Then, there was the disturbing Quagmire drawn on the bathroom door. I sat down to take care of business and Giggity dude is eye level to me. I cracked up (which is disturbing to people - to hear you laughing from a bathroom stall.)
And, finally, what everyone has been waiting for. Drunk pictures. I'm not sure what gives it away most. The big Jester frozen margarita in her hand, the boa or the glassy-eyed look.
Me? Its the fact that I took my glasses off. You don't need 'em to see when everything is fuzzy from booze anyway. The big goofy smile may be the dead giveaway. Oh yeah, and the straw from the delicious Jester frozen banana dacquiri is not far from my mouth!!!