Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.

1.24.2006

Me and my big mouth

I always volunteer to do Career Day at the boys' school to tell children what it is like to be a writer.

*RUN RUN RUN! DO ANYTHING ELSE IF YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO PAY YOUR BILLS!!!!*

Oh wait, that is just the thought running through my head, it isn't what I actually tell them.

I manage to teach them about self-discipline (BULLSHIT), the importance of meeting deadlines (BULLSHIT), how important a dictionary is (ok, not bullshit), the importance of good spelling and grammar (MORE BULLSHIT) and how much fun it is (Only BULLshit some of the time.)

I leave out how most of us wind up lonely, withered, divorced and alcoholics.

Tomorrow, I go to speak to the fifth-grade kids in Pickle's class. He's in a special class for kids with issues, so this is always interesting. They typically respond best to my Nascar story as well as those involved dead bodies and blood.

The first grade class is hard to impress, too, because they've never heard of Roger Staubach, Wil Wheaton, Dick Conrad or others that I've interviewed although I can still impress them with my interviews of the now President and First Lady.

But, it gets worse. As I'm firming up the time and details with the first grade teacher, she asks me to talk to the entire first grade. Oy vey. (can a Catholic say oy vey?) She said there are 45 of them "but, they're little" she says.

Yes, yes, true. But, so are ants and I don't want to be thrown in an ant bed! I will let you know how it goes.

6 Comments:

  • At 3:12 PM, January 24, 2006, Anonymous Gabe Posey said…

    If anyone ever tells me how wonderful it is to write professionally I casually interject that being a professional prostitute is probably a better career choice. At leas there's not quite so much competition in the realm of whoredom.

     
  • At 3:18 PM, January 24, 2006, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Should I take my "Will Write For Food" framed print that hangs over my laundry area? I think I should just for shits and grins. Or, I'll at least photograph it and post it here. :)

     
  • At 4:53 PM, January 24, 2006, Anonymous Gabe Posey said…

    I think I should make one that says, "Will write for nothing." It'd be more honest in my case.

     
  • At 6:35 PM, January 24, 2006, Anonymous Army of Dad said…

    Wolverines are pretty small and so are badgers. Neither of which should be taken lightly.

     
  • At 8:41 PM, January 24, 2006, Blogger Uzz said…

    trust me...as a freelance photographer...I feel your pain!

     
  • At 5:26 PM, January 25, 2006, Anonymous M.O.T said…

    I think it went well today. Although, I was surprised that Pickle had so many questions. MOT

     

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