Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.

12.20.2007

I was Eddie Haskelled

It's true. I was Eddie Haskelled to the max this week. I'm so embarrassed that I fell for it. There is one child Hot Rod associates with at school. The first time I laid eyes on this kid, I didn't care for him and felt like he was bad news. Then, he wore a John Cena T-shirt to school one day and that sort of confirmed it for me. Not a good influence.

But, at the field trip on Tuesday, Eddie Haskell hung around Hot Rod. I got the yes ma'am, no ma'am. Oh you're right, ma'am. When we went through the life of Christ display at the house of wax, he knew the Bible stories and talked about church. It gave me pause. His mom listens to the Harry Connick Jr. Christmas album, too, he told me. He gets a whooping if he lies, he said. Ok, maybe this child isn't the bad influence I initially thought and perhaps I misjudged his character.

Uh, no.

Today, I get the call that my son was chasing girls at recess and saying something about humping them. WTF? So, the assistant principal puts me on speaker phone with Hot Rod. She informs me that he and another boy (hmm, let me guess who) had been doing this. So, I asked her what was said because 'hump' is not a word that is said in our house (even behind closed doors, eww) and that he hasn't learned about the birds and the bees, so there is certainly no way he knows what this means.

Asst. principal: Well, he said something about lovely ladies come and hump this or something to that effect.
AoM: Oh gees. That is my fault.
*crickets chirping*
AoM: Those are some of the lyrics to the Black-Eyed Peas' song My Hump. *best part is here when I started singing the song to the asst. principal*
Asst. principal: Ok, what is the name of the band and the song again?
AoM: *repeating information* And, Hot Rod, you know that is inappropriate, right?
Hot Rod: Yes *stifling back the tears* I just wanted the girls to chase me.

*shaking my head* The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it, hon? *sighing* Fortunately, the school is punishing him, but they have taken the "boys will be boys" theory and his teacher told me "remember, you'll really laugh at this----someday!"

The best news about the situation, as far as Hot Rod is concerned, is that he told the truth from the start about what he did and why he did it. Both the assistant principal and teacher praised him for that. Eddie Haskell? Nope. Lied the whole way. Another reason I feel stupid for falling for the whole good manners routine on the field trip. You know, I'm sort of hoping he was telling the truth about getting a whoopin' for lying. Just like Ralphie said in A Christmas Story "somewhere, Schwartz was getting his." Today, I'm hoping Eddie Haskell is getting his.

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