Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


The Joy of the 40s

Now that I'm at that awkward age of having both zits and grey hairs simultaneously, I'm delighted to see that I'm not the only dumbass on this ride.

A few years ago, I thought I would show my struggling child how to do a cartwheel. Simple enough, right? Uh, wrong. I collapsed into a big pile of body parts while my children laughed and taunted me. Then, there was the time I thought I'd show off my mad cheerleader jump skillz on the trampoline, too. Only to do the jump and promptly suffer from a small bout of incontinence (courtesy of said children of whom I gave birth to, but thought I'd be immune from the stress incontinence thing after having three c-sections. BWAHAHAHA. No such luck, bub.) Thankfully, no one but me noticed I peed my pants. Ok, my husband did (he laughed, too) because I have a habit of making a certain noise when I sneeze and droplets of whiz escape simultaneously. He recognized the noise and proceeded to crack himself up. Laugh it up, furball. *sigh*

But, I almost laughed till I peed (again) when I read about Dad Gone Mad having a similar situation. Not with the peeing thing (having not given birth and all) but with the whole "I can still do the things I did when I was 10" madness that we all seem to have from time to time. Poor dude. I'll save you a dry spot on the couch next to me at Bingo night at the retirement home. But, only if you'll loan me your reading specs to see the Bingo board.



  • At 2:45 PM, November 24, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Lucky duck - I've had zits and grey hairs simultaneously since I was 16.

  • At 8:46 AM, November 25, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Can you say Poise? Thats what I use and I'm only 3 yrs older than you and (thank God) 1 child less.

  • At 11:11 AM, November 25, 2008, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Oh Swank - that is sad. Bless your heart!

    And Anon - fortunately I don't need Poise yet. A simple little pantiliner does the trick. If it ever gets that bad, I'm going in for that surgery they have to fix it. Ick. Bless your heart.


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