I hope my ketchup isn't full of shit like this Heinz

Lifted from OpinionJournal.com today

Rocky Mountain Heinz
John Kerry's second wife was in Colorado Friday, where, as usual, she had many ridiculous things to say. "Day One of his presidency, every child in America will have health care. Period," Teresa Heinz Kerry told an audience in Fort Collins, according to the Coloradoan, the local paper. Apparently she doesn't realize that this would require an act of Congress--or perhaps she intends to pick up the tab herself.
She also offered this wisdom on education policy: "Tests should be a measure that is enabling, not disabling. Tests that are a trap are sinful." Huh?
And in Pueblo, the Associated Press reports, she had this advice on how to fight terrorism:
"The way we live in peace in a family, in a marriage, in the world, is not by threatening people, is not by showing off your muscles. It's by listening, by giving a hand sometimes, by being intelligent, by being open and by setting high standards."
Yeah, that'll throw a scare into al Qaeda.
This seems as good a time as any to list the latest proposed Heinz ketchup slogans, by Victor Colvin, Michael Zukerman, Joe Davisson and John Rankin:
"French fries prefer me."
"Use liberally."
"Rich and thick."
"The official ketchup of Lambert Field."
If that last one escapes you, check out Football Fans for Truth. Reader Chris Switzer also offers this observation: "I got some hot sauce at Taco Bell in Altamonte Springs, Fla., on Thursday night, and all the packets had the same slogan: 'The road to mediocrity is littered with empty ketchup packets.' I guess even the 'left of center' crowd is disenchanted."