Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.

10.28.2004

Midnight is looming closer

Funny how I never eat after midnight, but knowing that I can't eat makes me want to have a big old Snickers bar with a Kit Kat chaser.

My surgery is scheduled for 11 a.m. Friday and I've turned into a blubbering idiot. I'm literally sick to my stomach because I'm so nervous about this surgery. I haven't been put under anesthesia - completely put under - since I was in college. That time, I remember (vaguely) waking up and screaming out for my ex-husband. Me and anesthesia never got along well. Before that, I'd wake up screaming for my mom. Even my last spinal for my c-section left me hallucinating and talking gibberish. I would have sworn my boys were jumping on a couch in my hospital room and I kept trying to tell them to stop, but the words wouldn't come out. I remember VIVIDLY (ok, as vividly as you can remember something in a drug-induced fog) the look on Army of Dad's face as he realized I was screwd up out of my gourd.

Anyway. I'm dreading it, needless to say. I'm worried about not having the use of my hand for a while, too.

You see, those of you who don't know me may not know this, but I'm a control freak. I am a GIGANTIC planner. I like to know what is going to happen and when and I like to have it all laid out with every possible outcome known. But, just like having children in your life, there is no way to know what is going to happen with this surgery and the recovery. I may be fine and ready to dance Friday night or I may be puking and hallucinating on Sunday.

*taking deep breaths*

I'm also paranoid as hell and a big fat worrier. If there is a worst case scenario, I have pictured it. Oh well. I guess I'll go drag my ass into the tub and try to relax. I have about two more hours of eating time before my little fast. I wonder if burping up bile from nerves counts as eating before surgery? Maybe I can put this off another week. Nah. I just have to suck it up. That is what moms do.

6 Comments:

  • At 11:34 PM, October 28, 2004, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    AoM,
    You'll be fine. My prayers are with you and your family.

    ~Alli

     
  • At 12:21 AM, October 29, 2004, Blogger Uzz said…

    Calling yourself a gigantic planner is really underselling it:-) I remember that bags would be packed TWO WEEKS before ANY trip!!! Not just packed...but systematically packed!!!

    As for the surgery, you will be fine...you have plenty of people praying for you and just think of all the Vicodin you can get out of this!!!

    Uzz

     
  • At 12:32 AM, October 29, 2004, Blogger Bane said…

    Just remember, it's always darkest just before it turns completely black...

    My wife packs 8 suitcases for a two day trip. That just for her.

     
  • At 4:46 AM, October 29, 2004, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    AoM,

    You will be fine, and I know that general anesthesia sucks, and when you wake up you are very disoriented, but it passes.

    Oh, and when you ask for pain meds afterwards, if they offer Vicodin, ask for something else, as most people I know had the same experience- it does not work, at least without an alcohol chaser.

    If you do, then be prepared to pee every three hours...

    --Whose Paranoid

     
  • At 8:39 AM, October 29, 2004, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Thanks your guys. I'm anxious, but I know it will be fine.

    I'm also hungry. Funny how when you know you can't eat, you want to. I'm craving a big glass of chocolate milk right now. :(

     
  • At 11:23 AM, October 29, 2004, Blogger Bane said…

    Whatever you do, don't think about PIZZA! Or BISCUITS AND GRAVY!

    Think celery. Ice water. Ice chips...

    Hope this helps.

     

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