Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.

10.21.2004

Overwhelming feeling of love

My emotions are a roller coaster most days regardless of anything else. Right now, while I'm in a weakened state of recovery from being sick, they're probably even more chaotic. I go from being bitchy to being weepy in a heartbeat. Army of Dad would probably say I'm like that all the time.

But, there are times that I am just overcome with this overwhelming feeling of love for Army of Dad. It just hits me while I'm driving down the road. Maybe I hear a song that makes me think of him and I just smile and feel this sense that no matter what in the world is going on - everything is alright.

Sometimes when I look at one of my sleeping children, I see him there - in the shape of their faces or the position in which they're sleeping.

There are other things, too, that remind me of him. When I grab a shirt that he wore the day before and I can smell his scent on it or when he is about to leave in the morning, but he takes an extra few minutes to come in and kiss me goodbye.

Most of all, I think it is when he has worked long days and is dog tired, but he will make the time to go play with the children, even for a few minutes. It is the fact that he takes his lunch to work each day so we can save the money that would be spent going to grab a bite to eat. Watching him coach both of our boys' soccer teams and seeing how much time and effort he puts into working with these boys to help them be better soccer players, yes, but better men-in-training.

And, shhh, don't tell him, but I even love it when he cops a feel of my ass when I'm standing on my head trying to get dinner cooked. It can be irritating at the time, but it reinforces to me that he is happy with me. I know he'd like me a good 50 pounds lighter. I'd like me better like that, too, but he loves me and desires me in spite of it.

Ok, while I still have the warm and fuzzies, I'm off to make cookies with Army of Dad's version in miniature, Child No. 2, for his class tomorrow. Yet another reason I love AoD - we're broke, but I get to be home with my children and help them learn and grow and make cookies together for school events. There is no place else I'd rather be than where I am right now. Now, if I could get back to 100 percent healthy, I'd be on Cloud 9.

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