Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Christmas gift ideas

Ok, so I stole this post idea from the wonderful Joan at Seven Inches of Sense, but it is a good one. She has a list of Christmas gifts guaranteed to get you laid.

I can't add to that list much, but I will also contribute some thoughts for men who'd like to score some brownie points this holiday season for their ladies.

1) Arranging a night out - including setting up the babysitter, paying for everything and deciding where to go and what to do without her having to lift a finger.
2) Getting a housekeeper to clean the house - even just once (Joan touched on this one, but I have to add it again).
3) A little note telling her the reasons why you love her. It can even be just one reason - you have a great ass is a good one or something like, I love the way you look at me when you tell me to spank you ... oh wait, I'm sorry, that was my note to Army of Dad ... I meant something like, I love the way you look out for me and the kids, or something nicer. You get the idea and she will feel appreciated.
4) A gift certificate for a massage. It doesn't have to be expensive. We have a lady in town who does one-hour full-body massages for $30 and she does just fine. Army of Dad does good on these kinds of gifts.
5)Taking the kids out to do something fun and giving her an evening all by herself to watch whatever she wants to on the TV or send her to the movies with her friends.
6) A simple gold necklace with a charm on it. Pick a charm that has some meaning. One of the best gifts Army of Dad ever gave me was a gold w/diamond charm of a mother holding a child. I love it. Any simple piece of gold jewelry will work here. It can be a pair of hoop earrings, a gold bracelet, etc.
7)A CD of your song. Put it in the CD player before you seduce her. She'll melt to know you thought that much of her. Or it could be Nine Inch Nails' I want to fuck you like an animal. You know your gal. If that will turn her on to know that you were thinking about her and pulled that song out may get her revved up. If its not her speed, don't do it.
8)Give her flowers on Christmas Eve.
9)Find some mistletoe and pull her in your arms and tell her you are the luckiest man in the world. If you have some great gift like a piece of jewelry or perfume, this is a good time to give it to her. Otherwise, a card with a few heartfelt words would be nice.
10)A gift she has been asking for and really wants. She'll know that you heard her and she'll be so appreciative that you did.

Have you noticed a trend? Most of what I have suggested is cheap or free. You'd be amazed at just how far a simple note penned by you about how much you love her will get you.


  • At 8:36 PM, December 09, 2004, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Hee hee ... I didn't say I get any of these Christmas gifts, just saying that most women would like them.

    And, Bane, you're a pig! But, I knew that. Army of Dad would get clobbered if he tried that and he knows it. I tend to punch people in my sleep. Now, we have been known to wake up and we're going at it like rabbits and we were both asleep when it started. Occasionally, he'll start getting busy with me and then wake up. It is weird. Cool, but weird.

    But, anyway ... the notes, you can do without more than 20 minutes. :)

  • At 9:12 AM, December 10, 2004, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    I would say it is definitely environmental - whether it was Army or what ... who knows. At least you're not shouting HUA at the moment. Although if you're wearing camo at the time, it could be fun.

    Speaking of ... I have a camo negligee, hmm. Wonder if Army of Dad would like that or if it would remind him of the barracks hos? Thinking of it, he might like it. :) After all, who doesn't like a barracks ho?

  • At 9:25 AM, December 10, 2004, Blogger Joan Crawford said…

    Barracks Bunnies, Tag Chasers...yuck! I hate those girls. There was one girl who went to visit her husband on post where Jimmy is and she ended up fucking everyone BUT her husband (and not Jimmy of course). I have a camo whip, AoM. It's pretty cool. I don't really wear lingerie...have camo panties though. :)

  • At 12:11 PM, December 10, 2004, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Yeah, I'm actually not a fan of the barracks ho girls either. Just strange to me how men don't seem to think twice about poking it in some nasty chick who has effed half the guys in the barracks. Grosses me out.

  • At 7:54 AM, December 12, 2004, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "Yee Haw" is not heard at my place, although "HUA" whould be fun! (...have to talk to him about that, he'd laugh!...)
    Camo isn't in my wardrobe... I hated wearing the BDU's when I had them...but that might be because they were TOO big.

  • At 8:59 AM, December 12, 2004, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Well, factor the HUA into your pillow talk.

    Do you like when I (insert his favorite sexual act here) to you?

    His response: Hua!

    So, would you like me to (insert another favorite sexual act here) to you?

    His reponse again: Hua!

    Do you want me to ride you like a giant torpedo and call you by your last name and tell you to get down and give me, er, 20, yeah, 20?


    Army sex. Great fun. Of course, you can always make him put on his PTs and send him for a jog around the block and then jump him when comes in all sweaty and muscle fatigued. Those were the days.


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