Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Golf wussies

Army of Dad and I have had this conversation before and while we both like golf, we've come to the conclusion that golfers are coddled little babies. Watching the Match Play 36-hole finals this morning on ESPN and a caddy for one of the players chewed out some fan whose camera shutter disturbed the golfer.


Major League Baseball players have to stand in a little batter's box a few feet long and a couple of feet wide and they have to face a baseball hurled at them at around 90+mph with wicked movement on the ball before they swing their bats to hit it. In addition to having to hit a moving ball that is curving or dropping, they have asshole fans behind them yelling questionable things about their wives' or mothers' chastity or throwing things at them while they're batting. Golfers simply have to hit a little ball off a stationary tee or maybe the rough if they made a bad shot earlier. They have to have complete silence to hit a stationary ball. And, add to that the fact that there aren't nine people out there trying to deter your ball from its intended goal. There is no Torii Hunter climbing a fence to rob you of a homerun. No. The destiny of your shot is in your hands. Maybe you have to contend with the rain or the wind. But, you know the layout of the course before you arrive. You can study the slopes, the angles, the water hazards or whatever. But, noooooo, you pansies have to have complete silence. No super-loud camera shutters which could distract you and God forbid a cell phone rings. We may have chaos on the golf course. *shaking my head*

Give me a steroid-infested man with a 36-ounce piece of ash in his hands wearing tight little sliding pants and a baseball hat. Now THAT is what I'm talking about. Not some dude in plaid pants, a polo shirt, sweater vest and a visor who can't handle a shutter click.


  • At 11:53 AM, February 27, 2005, Blogger Uzz said…

    Tiger is the ABSOLUTE worst about this!!! I golfers are way too whiny!

    Now the very overrated and very dead Hunter S. Thompson wrote his final column for ESPN Page 2 (before shooting himself) about his new sport...Shotgun are the rules...

    "The game consists of one golfer, one shooter and a field judge. The purpose of the game is to shoot your opponent's high-flying golf ball out of the air with a finely-tuned 12-gauge shotgun, thus preventing him (your opponent) from lofting a 9-iron approach shot onto a distant "green" and making a "hole in one." Points are scored by blasting your opponent's shiny new Titleist out of the air and causing his shot to fail miserably. That earns you two points. But if you miss and your enemy holes out, he (or she) wins two points when his ball hits and stays on the green. And after that, you trade places and equipment, and move on to round 2."

    Now I think AoD would enjoy that immensely!!!

  • At 2:44 PM, February 27, 2005, Blogger yoni cohen :: said…


    Hope you're having a good weekend.

    Could you please update the link to the "College Basketball Blog?" The site's new home is at

    Thanks! Link update is very much appreciated!

    yoni cohen, college basketball blog

  • At 2:02 PM, March 02, 2005, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Golfers are big babies. In the words of Forrest Gump: that's all I got to say about that.

    Link is fixed.


Post a Comment

<< Home