Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Ego strokes

WARNING: Turn away now if you are my father-in-law, son's teacher, ex-husband or someone who is easily offended. If you are pregnant, nursing or have back problems, you should not ride this attraction.

I think I must be putting off some kind of pheromones right now. I was hit on Tuesday by no less than three different guys. Our department at work is coordinating this gigantic luncheon for all the construction workers at the project (I know they unloaded 2,000 chairs for it). So, I was having to escort folks on and off the construction site and it was quite the task. Well, maybe I was feeling particularly frisky because I was out of the office and moving around, which I love. But, it was sort of weird. I had to put two guys in the cab of the truck with me and the guy next to me was taking great pleasure in sitting cheek to cheek with me and asked if that is a wedding ring on my hand. Why, yes it is, I told him. Another guy said he knew I had an ex and asked if I had a current Mr. Army of Mom. Yes, again. I even told him we're celebrating our 7th anniversary this coming Sunday. He asked me if I got him anything good for his anniversary. Yes, I told him. Me. What could be better? He chuckled at that one. But, the coup de gras of the evening was the hot young 20something Fred Durst looking dude, complete with earrings and tattoos. Not exactly the type to be turned on by the mid-30s soccer mom. But, I have to say that I started this by teasing and flirting with this guy; I just didn't think he would finish it. Honestly, I didn't. I mean, come on, he is this punk looking dude in his mid-20s. I know Army of Dad is a hot 20-something dude, but the little band of gold and the solitaire makes him sort of obligated to want to do me. So, I have been giving out my business card with my cell phone number to most of the drivers of these trucks because they'll need someone to escort them back in today for clean-up after the luncheon. When I gave stud-boy my card, I even said, I'm not hitting on you now. He laughed a bit and joked a few more times before he left and I went back to work. About a half-hour later, I'm getting instructions from my boss about what my next task should be when my phone rings. It is StudBoy. Immediately, I start to giggle and flush. He said he was just "checking to see if the number works" and to let me know that he is "interested." My boss said my face went about 14 shades of red and eventually matched my pink hardhat. I have not had a boy call me in well over eight years. It was very flattering, but really embarrassing that it happened in front of my boss. I caught shit for it all night long. But, what can I say? I must be a hottie. *insert giant laugh here*

This is probably what my face looked like after the phone call:

But, this guy and the entire project over the past few days has illustrated a few things for me. Yes, yes, I know. I bitched about people stereotyping and characterizing groups of people, but as a woman it is my perogative to change my mind. I have noticed that different groups of men eye-fuck women in different ways. White guys tend to me more subtle. They'll look, but avert your eyes after only a brief smile of recognition that they were busted. They may say hello and a sentence or two if they're pretty confident. Most, though, will turn away if you bust them staring. Now black guys are much more smooth. They stop what they're doing and talk to you. They try to sweet-talk you a bit while looking at you like you're the sweetest dish they could ever hope to eat. They may even lick their lips and they always do that head-nod thing. You know the one, like when you're walking by your bud or just to acknowledge someone, your chin goes up and the back of your head tilts down like you're swallowing a pill or something. Now, Mexican guys are the brashest of the bunch. They'll look you straight in the eye while they're eye-fucking you. The machismo drips off these guys. If they're gross, ok, then it is gross. But, the young hunky ones ... not too bad. But, it just seems across the culture that they have no problem looking you straight in the eye when they're eye-fucking you. It is powerful in a weird sort of way. Disturbing and gross sometimes, but I do admire a man who isn't afraid of a woman.

Ok, that is a weird kind of post this morning, but Army of Mom has turned into Ego Girl today. Or, I like the playful ribbing I got from Army of Dad this morning as he left. He kissed me goodbye and said "See ya Sex Kitten." He is enjoying this almost as much as I am, but then again, I tend to really enjoy when other women tell me that they think my hubby is hot. It must work the same way for AoD.

Off to get dolled up for work today. I have my fans to think of, you know.


  • At 10:40 AM, March 23, 2005, Blogger Gadfly said…

    Jou know what I would like to do to jou? I want to put jou knees up into jou boobies and ...

    Jou husband not around, right?

  • At 11:04 AM, March 23, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh come on, people. I just ate breakfast.

    -- Kat

  • At 2:53 PM, March 23, 2005, Blogger Joan Crawford said…

    I know what you mean about the latino machismo...I worked in an all Spanish speaking club for three years. The young hotties certainly arent' shy...but the old ones are even more brazen. And there is nothing worse than after a ten hour shift on your feet than getting to your car and finding a 65 year old man waiting there, trying to shove his tongue down your throat. Yuck, yuck, double yuck!

    But when Jimmy speaks Spanish and gets that cocky glare in his eyes...DAMN!!! The panties just fall right off me! :)

  • At 4:15 PM, March 24, 2005, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Ooh Gadfly, I didn't know you speak Messican. Is there a Spanish word for dick, by the way?

    And, Joan, I think you're right on target.

  • At 8:23 PM, March 26, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Why Can't the teacher READ this ?

  • At 7:13 PM, March 27, 2005, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Something about using the F word in front of my kid's teacher is a little disconcerting. Makes me feel like someone might think I'm a bad mom.


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