Mama's not sad anymore

Those were the words uttered by my sweet baby girl when she woke up from her nap this afternoon. Apparently, I didn't do a very good job of hiding my tears. I thought she was sleeping and would miss them, but obviously not. Mama is still sad, but I'm not sobbing any more.

One of the dearest women who influenced me in my endeavors to be a writer lost her mother today. She has known most of the week that her mother would die and she was at peace knowing that her mother's suffering was coming to an end. But, now she has to cope with the loss of the woman who gave her life.

I'm so sad for her. I'm also sad for me. I'm starting to face the mortality that will eventually rob me of my mother. Another good friend lost her mom earlier this spring. My mom has been complaining of almost constant stomach pain that keeps her from eating more than she needs to survive. She has dropped 12 pounds in the past three weeks or so. She went to the doctor and go no answers or even suggestions. So I called and raised hell with the doctor and they discovered a severe kidney infection and they're sending her in for a catscan (I think) on Monday. I'm hoping we have some answers. She's had cancer before and after the stroke this summer, she is weaker than she has been as long as I can remember. I know it is only a matter of time before I won't have her in my life and I fear that so much. The death of Ms. B's mom only brings it closer to home.

And, no, mama isn't crying any more Little One, but I wouldn't say she isn't sad anymore.