Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.

11.03.2005

Mama's not sad anymore

Those were the words uttered by my sweet baby girl when she woke up from her nap this afternoon. Apparently, I didn't do a very good job of hiding my tears. I thought she was sleeping and would miss them, but obviously not. Mama is still sad, but I'm not sobbing any more.

One of the dearest women who influenced me in my endeavors to be a writer lost her mother today. She has known most of the week that her mother would die and she was at peace knowing that her mother's suffering was coming to an end. But, now she has to cope with the loss of the woman who gave her life.

I'm so sad for her. I'm also sad for me. I'm starting to face the mortality that will eventually rob me of my mother. Another good friend lost her mom earlier this spring. My mom has been complaining of almost constant stomach pain that keeps her from eating more than she needs to survive. She has dropped 12 pounds in the past three weeks or so. She went to the doctor and go no answers or even suggestions. So I called and raised hell with the doctor and they discovered a severe kidney infection and they're sending her in for a catscan (I think) on Monday. I'm hoping we have some answers. She's had cancer before and after the stroke this summer, she is weaker than she has been as long as I can remember. I know it is only a matter of time before I won't have her in my life and I fear that so much. The death of Ms. B's mom only brings it closer to home.

And, no, mama isn't crying any more Little One, but I wouldn't say she isn't sad anymore.

5 Comments:

  • At 8:00 PM, November 03, 2005, Blogger North Dallas Thirty said…

    (big, BIG, big hug)

     
  • At 8:46 PM, November 03, 2005, Blogger Uzz said…

    Hey...I understand how you feel! I call my mom everyday because, at 79, I have no idea how much longer I will have her. You have to enjoy the time you have with loved ones...luckily my mom is super healthy and shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon! Keep me in the loop about your mom...she and your dad are very special to me as well!

     
  • At 9:29 PM, November 03, 2005, Blogger MrsDoF said…

    My heart goes out to both you and your friend.
    Moms are special, even when being a pain in the rear-end like mine is this week. If my sister calls one more time to tell me something else she's Done....errgh.

    What I'm dealing with this week is the loss of a friend and high school classmate. 50 years old. His wife says Sunday they were having lunch after church. He realized he had forgotten to bring something to the table, so he stood up and reached for the door handle of the fridge, and just kept on going over. The doctor's report says he was probably gone by the time he hit the floor, although the EMTs did CPR all the way to the hospital.
    My mom is 74. But 50 is where I'm at, and I say it's too young to go!
    I'm not even ready for the Empty Nest, let alone marching on to meet the Maker!
    Everybody hold on as best you can, as long as it's reasonable, okay?

     
  • At 11:44 AM, November 04, 2005, Anonymous Mike said…

    My condolences to your friend. It's a difficult thing to lose a parent. I lost my Dad 25 years ago and I still think about him every day. Almost lost Mom 2 years ago, thankfully she's still with us. Thoughts and prayers for you. Hang in there.

     
  • At 2:40 PM, November 04, 2005, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Thanks to all. I got a very dear email from Ms. B this morning. She couldn't sleep and woke up to surf the net and catch up on my blog. *sigh* It will be good to see her tonight at the funeral home. We have been promising to catch up with each other in some way besides email, but to no avail. It is always the sad occasions, such as this, that brings families and friends together.

    As far as my mother goes, I'm glad they're doing some tests to see if we can find out what is wrong. She and I spent a long time Tuesday and Wednesday talking about my grandmother, the days before her death and about what I'm supposed to do if mother's health fails. She has asked me to be the one to tell the medical folks about her DNR. Dad told her he couldn't do it. So, that will be left to me. I fear that more than her dying. We also talked about death. Mortality sucks. Sometimes I wish I was Q and part of the continuum and could do whatever I wanted. Sorry, the geek returned despite the sadness.

     

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