Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


We got da funk

Gees, it sounds better when you're singing the song that it does when you just read the line as a blog entry title.


I've been pissy today. All day. No particularly good reason. Just lots of little ones.

The Department of Homeland Security refuses to return my calls for a story I'm writing on - cleverly enough, about homeland security. That does not inspire confidence in me that they are doing a very good job if they're afraid to talk to a piddly little reporter like me.

So, that sort of irks me.

Trying to refinance my mom-mobile and that has been right up there on my list of things to do with having a root canal, pouring a full teaspoon of nasty tasting liquid iron into a 3-year-old, pruing the rose bush with no gloves and having my hairdresser brush my hair (trust me, I believe the man gets his kicks on weekends as an S&M specialist).

So, after giving out my personal information about 14 times, explaining to them why they don't need my husband's work number and justifying my "self employment income" I think I'm going to gouge out my eyes and cringe if I ever hear the word Chrysler again.

And, if I ever have to deal with another automated voice system I will reach my hand through the phone line and choke the life out of the person who invented that bullshit.

Oh, and cold Chick-fil-a sandwiches are better than when they're warm.

Although, the little Indian gal at the end of the Daimler Chrysler credit folks was a delight. After hitting 8,467 buttons to reach a live, breathing person, she introduced herself and said "Where the sun is shining and I hav a smile on my face." I had to smile, too, and giggle. That was clever. She disarmed me immediately.

I may have to come up with something like that:
Hi, this is Army of Mom, where the poop is flowing and milk spills itself on my freshly mopped floors. How may I help you?"

Oh yeah, I'm going to have CPS knocking on my door any day now. Poor baby girl, she fell at the Braum's playland Sunday and has a giant bruise on her left cheek. Today, at the Chick-fil-a playground, she was being a daredevil on the slide and while I was reading about Patrick Dempsey having dyslexia, she fell right on her nose. So, now it is all red and swollen. Suffice it to say, her name is not Grace and that is a good thing.


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