Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Lesbians and Old Guys

I'm not sure what sort of pheromone I put off, but it is there and STRONG! I can be at a giant event with 100s of people around and the one lesbian in the crowd will find me and start flirting. Army of Dad just stands back and laughs at me. *shrug*

And, old guys. I must be a tasty treat for old guys. We're at Sam's Club today stocking up on tissue, milk, Sunny D and juiceboxes. We usually split up at the end so he can drool over the fancy cheeses and I look at the cut flowers and seasonal items. I found myself checking out these liquor-filled chocolates and imagining how I could catch a buzz from just a couple of these things. I guess I had a far-off wistful look on my face because the sunroom-salesguy comes over and offers to help me drink these over Christmas. Then, he starts the sales pitch and I explain that my husband is out of work and we don't have the funds to do any home improvement projects right now. Usually, the salespeople just walk off at this point. Oh no, not this guy.

Salesguy: *something along the lines of would you be interested in a sunroom project*
AoM: No, my husband is unemployed right now and we don't have the money for it.
Salesguy: Would you like an employed husband?
AoM: *looking baffled*
Salesguy: *trying to recover while stealing glimpses at my boobs* Well, there are lots of places hiring seasonal help ... *blah blah blah*

When Army of Dad walked up, the guy said "oh, is this your husband?" I contemplated saying, no, this is my afternoon lover. *shaking my head*

Now, if I could ever find a rich old sugar daddy ... then we can talk. Heck, right now, a rich lesbian might work, too.


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