Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


I'm a mom before anything else

I've been contemplating writing about Jami Hicks since she went missing Sept. 3 with her stepfather. The girl is 12. The stepdad is now dead. After a two-week romp across the country with this child, he fatally killed himself in her presence Sept. 15. My first instinct was that he was having some sort of sexual relationship with this child, whether it was willing on her part of flat-out rape - in any case, she is 12 and his step-daughter, which is so perverse. From news accounts, it appears this man may have been molesting this little girl over the course of years.

News accounts tragically indicate the mother may have had some inkling as to what was going on and didn't do anything to stop it. She found porn of teen girls on the man's computer (he was supposed to be some sort of preacher) and apparently the police were called at least once to the house earlier this year when an older step-daughter was popped by the guy when she tried to keep him from Jami. CPS has taken the children away. They haven't mentioned the older daughter, but maybe she is of age, I don't know. WBAP this morning reported, too, that the girl had told her mom about inappropriate touching (if nothing else) and the mother didn't boot his sorry ass out of the house and call police or pick up her children and leave.

That is what truly bothers me deep down - this mother failed her children. I don't care if we're destitute living at the Salvation Army shelter - but NO one is going to hurt my children and me know about it. I am so mad right now at the thought of it. When I met Army of Dad, I was newly divorced. During our first conversation, I told him that I was divorced and had a 2 1/2 year old son and if he didn't like that, then he could take a hike because my son will come first in my life no matter what. I think that may have been one of the things AoD liked about me - I loved that little boy more than my life and I would gladly lay it down before I knowingly let someone hurt him. I worry about my neighbor who is recently divorced. She has two little girls - one is 12 - and a little boy. I worry for her that she will trust a man again and him do something to her girls. It is just a fear you have as a mother.

I pray for Jami Hicks. She was most likely molested, witnessed the suicide of her abuser/step-father and now can't even return to her home and her mother (not that she was evidently much of a mother). What must this child be enduring? I hope she can get through it and be stronger for it. A Steel Magnolia. Let's hope that she is one.


  • At 12:28 AM, September 17, 2004, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Man, it's just sad. Some women are so desperate for companionship or a husband that they'll ignore all the signs and put up with so much crap just so they don't have to be alone. Some people just shouldn't be allowed to have kids.


  • At 8:49 AM, September 17, 2004, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    News report was today is that the girl told investigators that she has been molested by this SOB since she was in the third grade, she told her mom about it and that, once, the mom even SAW this asshole touch the girl inappropriately. And, you're right, it is sad that some women are so desperate to have a man that they'll let this happen. She doesn't deserve to have her children. But, this little girl's bio dad hadn't seen her in a year and he just lives in Oklahoma! Give me a break - at the most, that is five hours away if he lives in northern Oklahoma. GRRRRRRR. I shouldn't get started.

  • At 12:44 PM, September 18, 2004, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    I agree wholeheartedly that too many parents don't take their responsibility seriously. Many women keep their kids from their dads and many dads don't see it as a big deal whether they see their kids or not. We are very fortunate that our divorce (once the hurts were pretty much over) has been pretty amicable. Hell, most of the time Uzz celebrates the holidays with us. Freaks the hell out of friends and neighbors that Easter morning rolls around and it is me, Army of Dad, the three kids, D's dad and my parents. But, it just seems normal to my kids and I'm happy to have the problem of fighting over who gets to see him at the holidays. It is a good dilemma for D. He gets two dads and a mom that really love him and lots of grandparents. But, back to this girl - I want to throttle that mom. I can't imagine that she didn't know what was happening in her house. Hard for me to fathom. I'm so overly cautious with my kids ...

  • At 3:46 PM, September 21, 2004, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Holidays! HA!

    What really gets people is little league sports...the other moms and dads never know what to make of Uzz walking up to Pickle and Pickle treating him like his dad. The quizzical looks (but I thought AoD was his dad, WHO is that!?) are always funny! Sometimes they even have to ask someone and can't just figure it out on their own!

    Army of Dad

  • At 9:10 PM, November 23, 2004, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What you need to realize is that there are many children that hide the fact that they have been touched inapproperately from their parents for years. Also, CPS did not report the facts accuractly on this case at all. There are many many lies about his family!!!!

  • At 7:47 AM, November 24, 2004, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    I'm sure no one knows the truth besides the poor child, her late step-father and those intimately involved in the situation. That is the way it typically is. I feel so badly for children who are sexually mistreated and too scared to tell someone. That is awful. I try to tell my kids to always tell me if someone is doing something to them despite any threats the bad person may be making toward them or anyone else they love - not to believe them and tell me. I certainly hope that sinks in.


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