Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


The birds & the bees swarmed into my kitchen

Well, I have successfully dodged this bullet for a few weeks, maybe months, but finally, I couldn't put the child off any longer.

Child No. 1 is sitting at the dinner table working on his homework while I'm mashing some taters for dinner. We had been asking him for the past six months if he is ready to hear about how babies are made. He is 10 and in the fourth grade, I figure the kids are going to know and he is going to feel left out if he doesn't have the 411 on this stuff.

The consensus among all of the kid's parents is that Army of Dad drew the short stick and will be the one to talk to him. Well, child has asked me why I can't be the one to tell him. Well, the best answer is because I don't have the same equipment as you do and AoD will be better equipped (pun intended, but goes over the child's head) to explain to you about all the changes your body will be going through in the next few years. Since I have different body parts, I might not be able to give you really good information.

Ok, that bought me about 10 minutes before he asked me again how babies were made. *deep sigh*

I stop mashing and explain:
Ok, you know your testicles? Those things at the bottom of your penis?
Well, they hold some stuff called semen.
Well, the semen is like a seed that you plant to grow a baby.
*Puzzled look on his face.*
A man takes his penis and puts it in a woman's vagina, you know that little opening that babies usually come out of that is behind where a lady's pee comes out of.
*Wrinkled nose face.* So, a man puts his penis in a woman's testicle, er, what was that word?
He puts it in her vagina? *another wrinkled nose face* That is gross.
Well, some adults think it is pretty cool.
Well, that is how a baby is made. The man puts his penis in a woman's vagina and his semen goes into the woman's uterus and essentially plants the seed and it grows in there.
*more disgusted looks*
Anything else you want to know?
Not right now.

I think he was glad that he wasn't eating yet. He may have stopped at that point.

I think I need a drink.


  • At 6:37 PM, October 13, 2004, Blogger Uzz said…

    I have a feeling that I will have questions coming my way VERY soon!

  • At 8:34 PM, October 13, 2004, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I expounded on this some on the way back from soccer practice. After about 5 minutes he was done with the conversation and turned his attention back to his Yu-gi-oh book.

    oh and Kat, why would anyone laugh, let alone me!?

    Army of Dad

  • At 9:46 PM, October 13, 2004, Blogger Joan Crawford said…

    I learned about the birds and bees through horrible circumstances. But I do remember at age 12 my mother asking me if I was ready to talk about sex. I sat down beside her, patted her on the leg and said, "Sure, Mother. What is it you need to know?" Of course, she blushed and sent me to my room. But it was nothing compared to the time I sent her a huge Mother's Day bouquet with twelve brightly colored condoms poking out (on those little sticks that hold the cards) from between the blooms and a card that simply said, "Thanks for not using one."

  • At 10:01 PM, October 13, 2004, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    What would Mother's Day be without mothers?


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