Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Put me on this jury PLEASE!

Ok, let me first off say that I was intrigued by a story about a man being identified as an expert on Pop-Tarts. That got me interested in seeing what possible court case this could be. And, then it gets even better. First off, this dipshit puts a frosted Pop-Tart in his toaster. Ok, bad choice No. 1. Bad choice No. 2 comes when he leaves the house with said frosted Pop-Tart in the toaster. Guess what? Dipshit's house burns down. Ok, his homeowners insurance pays up and he'll be paying giant premiums (even higher than the rest of ours, which are pretty damned high already) because of his stupidity. But, in our litigious society that we live in ... guess what? Dipshit sues the manufacturer of the toaster. Good God. I really fucking hate trial lawyers. Any asshole who would take this case should have flaming hot Pop-Tart icing dripped on his nuts.

It is called user error. I'm guessing when some stupid woman leaves a candle burning unattended and it sets her house on fire, she can sue the Yankee Candle company? Oops, I probably gave someone an idea. *smacking myself on the forehead*

ARGH!!!! This makes me want to explode. But, wait, I got off the original track. The Pop-Tart expert was hired by the toaster company to help defend them and say it wasn't the toaster that caused the fire, but a flaming Pop-Tart. I swear to God, I can't make up stuff this good. Really. I. Can't.


  • At 11:11 PM, December 17, 2004, Blogger Uzz said…

    Should I not be putting my frosted Pop Tart in the toaster?

  • At 11:35 PM, December 17, 2004, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    I wouldn't. I would think you're losing your "frosty goodness" as Army of Dad just said to me. :) But, seriously, I think it would screw up your toaster and make that burning nasty smell every time you use your toaster. I just wouldn't recommend it. Nuke the bastards.

  • At 7:06 PM, December 18, 2004, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    A-GAIN????? There was a case like this a few years ago, lawsuit filed against both Kellogg's and against Black & Decker (maker of the toaster) by a woman who put Pop Tarts in the toaster then left the house. IIRC, it was thrown out because both the Pop Tarts and the toaster had warnings that said "Don't leave unattended".

    Feckin' imbeciles.

  • At 11:30 PM, December 18, 2004, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Good Lord. Some other dumbass did this, too? I'm glad that one had a judge with two brain cells firing and threw it out. Good God.

    It is amazing the human race continues to exist with people like this shallowing up the gene pool.


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