Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Shield your eyes!

I had to revert back to talking dirty. You all knew it couldn't last too long without some filthy post in here from the mini-van driving soccer mom.

Talk about giving your left arm for a bigger dick? These men did. These guys suffered from a condition known as micropenis, which is defined as a penis no greater than 3 inches in length when fully erect. Micropenis can result from a variety of causes. Shit! Three inches when erect? Poor guys. If one of these guys were mine, I'd give MY left arm for him to not have micropenis disease.

I love that consumer safety groups are now testing condoms to see how effective they are. The ones that failed the test were those handed out by Planned Parenthood. Oops. Guess that really isn't an effective tool.

Warning to guys to keep their laptop on the desk and not in their laps - studies show laptops may threaten male fertility. Yikes.

A slightly different angle on sex, this stupid bitch was ordered by a judge to stop making babies until she could take care of the ones she has. I vascillate at any government official regulating someone's right to have or not have children, but this is one case where I think it is pretty valid. According to the friend who emailed me the story about it, and I quote:

"It’s about time a judge made a ruling like this. A drug-addicted, 31-year-old mother of 7 should have pad-locked, iron panties clamped on her hoo-ha. Don’t get me started …"

pad-locked, iron panties clamped on her hoo-ha.

*snickering* Army of Dad may have an idea for his little Stinkerbelle as she gets closer to puberty.


  • At 9:07 AM, January 05, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I have a kneejerk reaction to the gov't telling people they can or can't do just about anything with their personal property. However, disallowing welfare families from having more kids is not one of them. I don't expect anyone else to take care of my kids, stop having babies expecting someone else to feed and cloth them for you. It's absurd.


  • At 9:25 AM, January 05, 2005, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    I tend to agree with you SB. This woman, certainly, doesn't need to be creating any more little WIC dependents. However, who is to say that some judge would decide that I'm unfit and shouldn't have any more children? It is a slippery slope, to be sure.

  • At 1:17 PM, January 05, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I agree, it is a slippery slope, but the gov't is already telling us what we can and can't do with our kids, or at least trying to tell us. If she gets clean and/or off of welfare, she can have all the kiddies she wants.

  • At 3:38 PM, January 05, 2005, Blogger francisthegreat said…

    from the micropenis article: "All of the men were satisfied with the cosmetic outcome of their operation, which aims for a new penis length of about 5 inches. "

    If I was to undergo a procedure titled "Total penile reconstruction", I want to come out of there like John F'ing Holmes. Five inches? Give me a break. You're gonna take a knife to mister happy, let's talk about fifteen.

  • At 5:00 PM, January 05, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I agree with francis.

    Kat: You are assuming she knows who the fathers are!

    Army of Dad

  • At 8:31 AM, January 06, 2005, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    I think AoD may be on to something there. One story said a woman had seven kids by seven different fathers. Hell, I'm lucky to remember the phone numbers of my family. I doubt she has kept in touch with these men. If they even know about them, highly unlikely they're going to give a damn if they let them live with a crack whore anyway. You know? So sad. I was going to say you can get free condoms at Planned Parenthood *snickering* but who knows if they'll work. Yikes.

    And, Francis, hell yeah! Give me a man with a big boner over a micropenis anyway. *hmmm, thinking* Maybe that was what my first suffered from, micropenis. That would explain a lot.


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