Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Ya'll listen up

Some of them thar scientist folk are studyin up on Texas Twang and think their high-falootin book-learnin will show them how we's talk down here.

But, theys got one part of it all wrong. We don't says nothing about ya'll when we're talkin about one lone person. Ya'll is used only for ya'll. You know? Two or more young'uns or something. Not just one. Dam dumb idiot intellectuals.

Ok, that is all I can do of that. Yikes. I may talk like a redneck, but writing like that makes my brain hurt.

One thing these folks did forget ... the way Texans explain ailments. Ok, pay attention students. In Texas, if you have some illness, you must be a THE in front of it.
Normal: He has AIDS.
Texas style: He has the AIDS.

Normal: Do you think you have a cold?
Texas style: Do you think you have the cold?

You get the point. Every time I do this, my Minnesotan native hubby just shakes his head. Occasionally, he laughs. Most of the time he just shakes his head.

Ya'll come back now, ya hear?


  • At 1:43 PM, January 06, 2005, Blogger Gadfly said…

    I'm astounded. Have these people even BEEN to Texas? I'm a much better linguist than either one of them, and I'm NOT a linguist.

    A glossary of Texas Twang

    Y'all: You-all (can be used as singular or plural). [Bullshit! Always plural in Texas. Can be singular in the Deep South ONLY]

    Croker sack: Burlap sack. [I've been here for more than 40 years. Never heard it]

    Snake feeder: Dragonfly. [Again, never heard it]

    Mosquito hawk: Dragonfly. [That is pronounced by those few who use it as "Skeeter Hawk" and it means a mayfly and not a dragonfly]

    Snap beans: Green beans [I think I may have heard this one in some distant childhood memory]

    Light bread: White bread. [Never heard it]

    Flitter: Pancake. [Never heard of it]

    Corn dodgers: Hushpuppies. [Nope]

    Pulleybone: Wishbone. [Heard a couple of times in the distant past, primarily from mentally challenged children]

    Polecat: Skunk. [learned it from the Warner Brothers cartoons]

    Cold drink: Soda pop. [Have heard it, but more popular in the age group that used this was "coke". As in, "do you want a coke? Yes. What do you want? A Dr. Pepper, please."

    Tank: Pond. [I'll give them that one, but a tank in that context refers to a stock tank for watering livestock. Therefore, all "tanks" are ponds, but not all ponds are stock tanks]

    Dinner on the ground: Potluck dinner. [They made this up. Never heard it]

  • At 1:49 PM, January 06, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Your MN hubby is making fun of YOUR accent?! Now, I'm from WI, just across the St. Croix, so I can make these comments in full recognition that I also talk this way. Yah sure. I watched Fargo after I had moved out of the midwest for a while and I thought it was totally over the top until I went back, not everyone talks like that, but some of them certainly do! Tell AoD that we will be watching the game this week with the Hollywood and TeenyTiny in their Vikes cheerleader outfits and NumberOne in his Vikes uniform. Even the dogs have to wear their Vikes shirts, which drives my mother wild since she is a Packer owner and it pains her to see the grandbabies in purple and gold.


  • At 4:06 PM, January 06, 2005, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Yep, I think these people are full of shit, too. I have have heard a few of these from my parents, like the snap beans and pulleybone. I will admit that I say polecat. I had to teach Army of Dad about that one. He'd never heard it before.

    What is funny is watching Army of Dad switch from his adopted Texas Twang to his Minnesotan voice whenever he talks to his grandparents on the phone. He switches instantly into a "Ah, you betcha" voice immediately.

    And thanks SB for sending the Vikes all the luck you can. It will be a purple and gold day in our house, but I fear that I need to hide the sharp instruments. My next door neighbor (who is from Wisconsin) gave me a Green Bay Packers sweatshirt in some hand-me-downs. I jokingly pulled it out and showed AoD and asked if I could put it on Hot Rod. He shot me an evil look and told me to remove it from the house! :)

  • At 6:42 AM, January 07, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You did get it out right? I know you went to Goodwill earlier this week...

    I would have burned the thing if I didn't think it could help someone stay warm.

    Army of Dad

  • At 8:58 AM, January 07, 2005, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Yes, yes, the Packers sweatshirt is safely at the Goodwill store along with all the old toys, old VCR and children's cups from Black-eyed Pea, Olive Garden and Chili's.


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