Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Astrology, Starbucks and a hot date

Saturday night, LabKat and I went out. We are party animals, too. We went to Chili's and then to Barnes and Noble. We usually grab a coffee at Starbuck's, then peruse the books.

At Chili's, the stupid waitress rubbed gravy all over my boobs. It wasn't even in a good way either. She just wasn't paying attention that my large breasts sometimes overlap the table and she just wiped the plate across my sweater. Lovely.

While sitting at Starbuck's sipping our coffee, LabKat noticed that the couple next to us were reading a book by Athena Starwoman called "Discover your one true love." As if the title alone wasn't sickening enough, the couple, in their late 40s or early 50s, were sipping their coffee and looking interested in what the book had to say. The woman was avidly reading this book to this man. She looked fairly intent on the it. The guy was acting interested and appeared to be listening. We figured he was playing along in hopes of getting laid.

As soon as they left, I got up and grabbed the book. LabKat and I howled with laughter at this crap. It was so funny. It is supposed to describe your lover to you by his/her astological sign. LabKat was described as feminine, alluring, affectionate, enchanting and very generous. I'll give her the generous part. Not so sure about the rest. The fact that I fear she may kick my ass one day sort of kills three of the first four. I can see where she'd be alluring at times. She does have beautiful skin. The book also describes her weakpoints as being petty, vain, unbelievably jealous and a tendency to be lazy. One, three and four maybe, not too vain, I don't think.
My description was equally amusing. I was described as mystical, sensitive, perceptive and relatively independent. Ok, I'm not really sure that I'm any of those except sensitive. (Hey, stop laughing. I can be.) My weakpoints include being obstinate, manipulative, highly critical of others and when in a sensitive mood, can be offended easily. *really now, I don't know WHO they could be thinking of* It also says that my anger can be explosive, not above alienating others when I don't get my way and I have a tendency to pout. Ok, so maybe she isn't too offbase on me with my weaknesses.

Now, LabKat and I couldn't let it go there. We had to look at our significant others. Hers: dependable, punctual, sincere, practical, deliberate, very sexy in a serious way, lots of self-discipline and will support you in self-improvement. His weaknesses: quick to notice fault, insensitive, critical, worries a lot, great deal of tension but won't admit it and a perfectionist. I'm not sure I know JS enough to judge these yet, but I'm sure LabKat will expand on this. ;)
For Army of Dad: romantic (yeah, right), passionate (absolutely - about everything), charming (he has his moments), very exciting (depends on what we're doing *wink*), fast track way of life(we never slow down, so maybe this counts), lots of creative energy (when cooking, absolutely), battle of wits (Ohmigod, he loves to debate), pushes emotional buttons (uh, yeah), mischievious (at times), irresponsible (seldom), narrow minded (at times), wasteful with money (I don't think so, this guy is so tight that he squeaks) and lies (he better not!).

After this little exercise in the giggles and the conclusion that LabKat is a supermodel and I'm a unicorn, we wandered back to the New Age section of Barnes and Noble and had even more laughs reading about what our names meant and more BS about astrology. It was quite the exciting evening. Before we knew it, the manager was on the loud speaker telling everyone to make their way to the checkout counter as the store was closing. Aw, shucks. The end of our hot date. We're such party animals.


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