A breast road map
I met a lady at work today who is finishing up chemotherapy for breast cancer. She was an attractive lady, about 50ish. We were talking about all she had to go through and I felt a kinship with her. My supervisor was there and teasing her for not getting out and trying to date, get busy, etc. But, I sense how she feels - she has little or no desire because she doesn't feel desirable. She described her breasts as looking like they had road maps on them from the chemo, radiation and surgeries. She is tired, she has lost her hair and no matter what you think - if you have not been faced with losing your breasts, you have no idea how it impacts who you are as a woman. Our breasts are central to who we are - they epitomize our femininity. It is how we feed our offspring, it is one of the things (ok two of the things) that make men want us ... anyway. I know my lump is still in there in my left breast and I wanted to cry for her and for me. It scared the hell out of me to think about what may lie ahead for me if I have to have the lump removed this summer. Just reminded me that it is still there - hopefully not growing.
2 Comments:
At 9:09 AM, February 24, 2005,
Ellen said…
Hey there, I'm sorry you are still having to go through this. I just went back in about 3 weeks ago for the breast infetion from hell. Actually, it was the 5th one in 4 months and this time there was bleeding along with the swelling. Luckily, no lump has been detected, so I'm on a daily antibiotic until I'm done nursing. Just tha fact that is it the same spot, every time for the past 6 years is spooky. anyway, enough about that. Just try to remember, that even though the girls make up part of who we are, they are only part. Big, round, small, perky, or after years of breast feeding, hanging down to the kneecaps, they are just part of the package. A silly floppy part. Take care and hollar if you need anything.
At 10:38 PM, February 24, 2005,
Army of Mom said…
Thanks. It sounds like you understand the fears WAY too well. After my mom had a radical mastectomy while I was in college, it has been one of my fears. I feel that I will inevitably have breast cancer and I've faced that, but it is still very scary when I'm confronted with it in a very upclose way. I go back for another ultrasound of my tumor in July and face the potential of having it removed. But, I feel like that is a better option than letting it grow and grow. We'll see what time brings me.
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