Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.

10.21.2005

Friday's "ubersexuals"

A little variation on my Friday hunks. We're going to talk about something in the news in the past week or so and then compare my choices versus the mainstream's choices for hot dudes.

According to JWT, (the largest advertising agency in America) ubersexuals are men who embrace the positive aspects of their masculinity such as confidence, leadership, passion and compassion, without giving in to the stereotypes that give guys a bad name, including disrespect toward women, emotional emptiness, complete ignorance of anything cultural outside of sports, beer, burgers, and athletic shoes.

Metrosexual or Ubersexual? How to Spot the Difference
* Both are passionate, but the uber is passionate about causes and principles, while the metro is mostly passionate about himself
* The uber spends more time grooming his mind than his hair
* Both treat and respect women as equals, but the uber considers other men, not women, his best friends
* The uber is more sensual and not at all self-conscious; he doesn't need other people to tell him he's sexy -- nor does he plan his errands around which shop windows offer the best reflection
* The metro gets design tips from the Fab Five; the uber gets them from his travels and interest in art and culture
* The uber knows the difference between right and wrong and will make the right decision regardless of what others around him may think; the metro knows the difference between toner and exfoliant -- and worries that he's using yesterday's brand.

Here is JWT's picks.
10. Jon Stewart: He is outspoken without regard to what other people think (as evidenced by his skewering his hosts during this year's Advertising Week). He is supportive of women and pokes fun at himself in a self-deprecating way. You've got to be kidding.
9. Guy Ritchie: His masculinity is unquestioned even though he's married to one of the world's top music icons, Madonna. (In fact, gravitating toward strong women tends to be an uber trait.) I didn't even know who he was.
8. Pierce Brosnan: His James Bond strength was never compromised when we watched him publicly mourn his first wife (and raise her children). He has Remington Steele's classic elegance and savoir faire. I can see this one.
7. Ewan McGregor: A handsome, fashionable family man, McGregor is versatile enough to go from riding his Harley Davidson around the world to walking the red carpet. He is comfortable in his own sexuality. Maybe this one, too.
6. Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill.: At the DNC, he managed to marry sentimental love of family with a new face of patriotism. And he looks sharp in a suit. Too liberal.
5. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, R-Calif.: He journeyed from body builder to mega movie star to politician, all the while keeping his shoes buffed and hair in place. He has succeeded in every challenge he's faced, and he has a Kennedy for a wife. I wouldn't pick him.
4. Donald Trump: Love him or hate him, Trump is a man who is certain about what he wants and sets out to get it, no holds barred. Women find his power almost as much of a turn-on as his money. No way, no how.
3. Bill Clinton: A born charmer with Southern roots who is not afraid to cry. He is a supremely confident, decisive leader. And he has supremely sexy hands. So, eww. I know what he does with cigars in those hands.
2. George Clooney: He appreciates the finer things in life (including his villa on the shores of Lake Como), and he is strongly bonded with and loyal to a cadre of male friends. His timeless image has allowed him to rise from B-sitcoms to box-office hits, some of which he's directed and/or produced. I can see this one, too.
1. U2's Bono (aka Paul Hewson): He's global, socially aware, confident, and compassionate, and he commands a huge base of followers who are fans of his music – and his humanitarianism. Maybe.

Rush Limbaugh thinks he is an ubersexual and according to the definition, he might be. Wouldn't be on my list. But, who would?

My picks:
10. Tie - Tom Hanks and Patrick Stewart - Hanks has that great boyish quality and seems to be so genuine without being a pussy. Stewart has that great accent, sophistication and looks great in a tank top, especially for an older guy.


9. Jonathan Frakes - he loves his wife, he's gorgeous, confident, very funny and has many talents.

8.Denzel Washington - tall, dark and handsome. We also know he's generous with his funds in supporting the troops.

7.Sean Connery - he was 007 and is just plain smooth. Best looking old dude that I'd still do. The accent helps.

6. Harrison Ford - Indy Jones, Han Solo ... need I say more? Plus, he is the celebrity spokesman for the Young Eagles program.

5. Tommy Lee Jones - Rugged Texas man.

4. JC Watts - A man's man. Collegiate football standout. Outstanding spokesmen for conservatives, damn nice and easy on the eyes.

3. Mel Gibson - passionate about his faith, family man and really really hot.

2. Tom Selleck - another man's man. He looks good in a tuxedo or bare chested or as a cowboy. He even looked good when he was portraying Eisenhower. Plus, he pissed off Rosie O'Donnell and he likes guns.

1. The most ubersexual of all men - the one I'd give up anything to be with - Army of Dad. He's manly, good looking, responsible and he looks damn good in a pair of Oakleys.

9 Comments:

  • At 4:30 AM, October 21, 2005, Blogger Donna B. said…

    Except that I think Jon Stewart qualifies, I agree. I might have put Sean Connery & Harrison Ford higher on the list, but then, I'm older.

    I can't imagine anyone thinking Trump is sexy... with that hair? No way!

     
  • At 7:02 AM, October 21, 2005, Anonymous Army of Dad said…

    Nah, Stewart seems like a pansy to me. So I think he is disqualified.

     
  • At 9:19 AM, October 21, 2005, Anonymous Lab Kat said…

    George Clooney, Mel Gibson and Ewan McGregor.

    You left out Antonio Goddamn Banderas! LOL

     
  • At 9:34 AM, October 21, 2005, Anonymous Army of Dad said…

    You could always make your own list...I suppose I should help you thouhg. Don't forget Hugh Jackman, if you did forget you might not be able to forgive yourself.

     
  • At 10:36 AM, October 21, 2005, Anonymous Lab Kat said…

    Done!

     
  • At 12:35 PM, October 21, 2005, Blogger MorningGlory said…

    Let's not forget Alan Rickman. And Bruce Willis.

     
  • At 4:48 PM, October 21, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You might want to reconsider Patrick Stewart. I believe his politics are distinctly to the left Obama's.

    As a gay man I would never choose a bigot like J. C. Watts or Mel Gibson for anything, but it's not my list.

    - oddjob

     
  • At 8:31 AM, October 24, 2005, Anonymous Army of Dad said…

    Oddjob, Yeah but even if he is left of center if he doesn't seem to push his politics on the public. And that is the difference!

     
  • At 9:56 AM, October 24, 2005, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Bruce Willis would have been a fine choice. Alan Rickman, hmm, all I would think his him being an angel in Dogma or Snape in HP. :)

    LabKat's list is yummy. GO look.

    and, AoD beat me to the punch. OddJob, you may be right about his politics, but I've never heard a peep out of him regarding his beliefs and that suits me just fine. :) and, I'll bite, why are Mel and JC bigots in your opinion? I've never heard anything really hateful out of either of their mouths.

     

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