Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.

12.07.2006

Kiss my ass begins with K

Kay's Jewelers is brilliant. They create these very endearing sappy ads every Christmas season with the whole "Every kiss begins with K" campaign. They show sweet moments of love like the couple watching "It's a wonderful life" and then the beau gives his gal some lovely expensive bauble. My favorite is the one with the little boy reading The Night Before Christmas and then adds his dad's rhyme about a gift behind the mom and she turns and dad has some diamond thing for her.

*sigh*

Then, there are those of us who don't get jewelry for Christmas. I usually get really good gifts like my camera or flat-screen monitor - two of the best gifts EVER. It is just the lure of shiny sparkly things does something to women. My sis-in-law and I joked about the tennis bracelets that we'll never get.

Don't get me wrong, it isn't that I want jewelry for Christmas. I really don't. I just hate these sappy commercials. It is like a Meg Ryan movie. Men aren't like that in real life and if they are, they're probably wusses and we wouldn't want them anyway. I mean, look at Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail. Please. Men just aren't like that. No way, no how. And, these movies just set unrealistic goals for romance. Sort of like the Kay Jewelers commercials. Men aren't like that and it is shitty for us to hold them to that standard. But, alas, we do. The worst part: most of us gals find fault in ourselves when our men aren't like that. We kick ourselves and think maybe if we were thinner, maybe if we had bigger boobs, maybe if we did XYZ. Thing is, it doesn't really matter. If he put the gold band on your finger, he likes you pretty well. Just don't get Orca fat or change too much and he'll keep bringing that paycheck home and loving you. (overall, that is, there is no accounting for men like Kevin Federline). But, I digress.

To the ad executives who have me humming "Every kiss begins with K" during December, just remember that Kiss my ass also begins with K. I'm guessing this sentiment goes for all the men out there who think they have to shell out a month's salary to get some shiny bauble for his gal so she'll know he loves her. Well, give me a flat screen monitor over diamonds any time. This year, I already have my Christmas - a new range, a new computer and a new cell phone. Hell, there is nothing left to get me except maybe some new undies and perfume.

3 Comments:

  • At 11:31 AM, December 08, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Have you seen the movie The Break Up?? That is how men truly are. He was a jerk to her completely. I mean when they were going through the break up or whatever it was - he was a jerk. Men are like that and don't realize how hateful they really are sometimes. Sorry guys.

     
  • At 11:54 AM, December 08, 2006, Anonymous Army of Dad said…

    Not that she is better or anything!

    We aren't as hateful as you think we are, women are too sensitive!
    :P

     
  • At 2:09 PM, December 08, 2006, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    AoD meant "not that you're bitter or anything." That is one of my sayings. :)

    And, I haven't seen it, but want to. Maybe we'll rent that tonight.

    And, AoD, yes men are as hateful as we think. Trust me. Yes, women are sensitive, but men are turds, overall. I happen to be lucky enough that my guy is only a turd to me about a quarter of the time. The other three-quarters of the time, you're a gem.

     

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