Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


When moms attack, next on the Discovery Channel

Ok, Momzilla here. I'm tired of being really nice to people and tired of being that person who acts like she doesn't hear people ragging about her.

So, what set me off? No one would step up and coach the boy's baseball team, so Army of Dad (who said he'd be an assistant coach) was drafted into coaching. So, when he got dragged in, naturally - instead of throwing me the life preserver or bravely telling me to go on without him - he pulled me in, too. So, I'm an assistant coach. My job, in addition to helping teach these kids how to field, hit, throw, etc. is to pitch. That is my main job on the team. I'm not great, but we've seen worse. Lots worse.

But, of course, every parent sitting in the bleachers believes he/she can do it better. I hear the grumbling. I hear some big brother yell for the batter to wait for a "pitch slow enough that you can hit." That was when I knew I wasn't being paranoid. They were sitting over there bellyaching about it. So, here I am with a sore shoulder from throwing pitch after pitch to a kid who either won't get his bat off his shoulder or swings like a crippled grandma with rheumatoid arthritis, and I get to listen to these people grumble.

So, after practice, we realized Hot Rod got shortchanged on batting because he was hitting really well on his first turn. So, he got cheated out of his second turn. We decided to stick around and I was going to pitch to him some more and the dad of one of the other boys comes out to pitch to his kid. I casually ask him if he can pitch and he says yes. So, I ask him if he does a better job than me (because it isn't a job I really want if someone is better) and he responds very condescendingly "probably." Ok bub, the job's yours. Well, well, he stammers, I can't be here for all the games. Yeah, that's what I thought. You want to simply bitch about the way someone else will do it, but you don't want to take the responsibility on yourself. Then, my favorite part, he didn't do any better than me. I took great pleasure in that. Yep, it is harder than it looks, isn't it, buddy?

I just get frustrated because I don't think people realize what goes into coaching. It just eats up so much time that I could spend doing other things, but I enjoy it and want to help kids. It isn't even the kids (99 percent of the time) that get me in a tizzy. I expect them to be goofy. It is the parents. They can make or break a coaching experience.

*putting away soapbox and going to soak my shoulder*


  • At 1:33 PM, March 22, 2007, Blogger Uzz said…

    I have said it once and I will say it again...there is no other sport where parents act like bigger jerks than youth baseball. Yeah...I have heard the hockey stories, but that is mainly up north.

    Why don't more parents gripe during soccer? Most have no clue on the rules and are just there because its what the kid wants to do...but baseball is a different story!

    They are all experts. They are all better umpires. They are convinced their kid is the next A-Rod or Johan Santana.

    I had such wonderful visions of Mini-Uzz (Pickle) playing ball and growing up with it...I just did not envision the hateful parents and hyper-competitive coaches that will allow much older kids to play on their team so they can win a title. I love baseball, but youth ball has been hijacked.

    At least Hot Rod is really good!!!

  • At 9:29 PM, March 23, 2007, Blogger Dallas Meow said…

    cheerleader moms ...


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