Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Sixth grade bully

While lying in bed last night talking with my husband, the subject of my upcoming class reunion came up. I was telling him I got two more RSVPs from classmates and telling him a little about each of them. In the process, it dawned on me that I beat up both of these kids in the sixth grade.

The worst part was that AoD laughed hysterically when I told him about it and then, he teased me without mercy.

Child No. 1 - our class' only eventual National Merit Scholar. He and I took math and reading together with a seventh grade teacher and he was teasing me because he got 100 on his spelling test and I got a 98. He just kept ragging on me and ragging on me until I told him I was gonna clobber him if he didn't shut up. Apparently, he didn't believe me. I was wailing on him in the breezeway after school when the janitor, a man called Dollar Bill, yanked me off of him. The principal roasted me for this and I was punished big time with a little of everything from running laps to writing an essay.

Child No. 2 - she has always been a good six inches taller than me, but I whacked this girl upside the head after she yelled out to my crush that I liked him. I busted her ear drum and again, the principal severely punished me. Part of my punishment: he put me in his big old black Caddy and drove me to the girl's house and made me apologize to her mom. I can still see the daggers in her mom's eyes to this very day. Now that I'm a mom, I completely understand.

While I left my history of fisticuffs in the sixth grade hall at KJHS, it lingered for years and followed me into high school. In my sophomore year, I was in home economics when I overheard two boys at the table behind me:

New boy: what about her?
GM: Oh, that's AoM. You don't want to ask her out. She beats up boys.


  • At 8:57 AM, August 07, 2007, Blogger Jenni said…

    ROFL! Nice to know I'm not the only girl that beat up boys in junior high...

  • At 7:31 PM, August 07, 2007, Blogger Unknown said…

    That's great! God, I love stories like that. My whole notion of you has been shattered to bits...nice little soccer mom. ;-)

  • At 9:18 PM, August 10, 2007, Blogger Lisa said…

    Okay, now I'm dying to know who they are! I spoke to MF now CF last night on the phone and he was so funny with the things he told me! You guys remember so much more than I do! Have fun! Can't wait to hear how it goes!


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