Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.

11.06.2007

Everything makes your butt look big

Honestly, this is the answer I expect from my husband whenever I ask him that infamous question of "does this make my butt look big?"

Hell yeah, it does. 'Cuz my ass is fat. I know it. Guess what? I've stopped asking him that question.

Big thing is that I am confident in my own skin. When I'm not, those are the moments when I need to focus on what I can do to feel better about myself: exercise, eat better, etc.

But, I digress. I read a GREAT story in the July issue of Esquire magazine. LabKat bought it for me so I could read the Stephen King story in it. She wasn't impressed and she's a Stephen King fan. So, the magazine has been sitting on the back of my toilet since August. I finally needed something to read in the tub tonight and was intrigued by a story titled "I think you're fat." So, I started reading. I'm usually a very hard person to impress with writing. I can be entertained by decent writing, but this story is good. Really good. I found myself fascinated and even laughed out loud at one or two parts.

Good read if you get the chance. It is about "radical honesty." Curious, as Spock would say. In an effort to follow the concept, my 39th birthday is going to suck. I'm not getting any presents or anything. Selfish, I know. But, my kids won't even remember until I tell them. I bet my mom forgets, but she has a little bit on her mind like having her chest cracked open and put back together. My buddy gave me a football shaped crock pot. Cute. My honey bought me a Romo jersey and Cowboys ball cap a few weeks back. My inlaws gave me a gift card with which I bought a CD player for myself and a souvenir Disney photo that I wanted, but would never spend the money on. I have a gift from my sister-in-law on the counter that I'll open tomorrow. But, I dunno. I would love to be spoiled like I was as a kid - with a cake and everyone singing to me and getting my favorite dinner. *shrug* Doesn't happen much when you're mom and I resent that.

Ok, that radical honesty thing sucks. I sound like a whiner. Or is that a weiner? Maybe both. As Harry Potter would say "happy birthday to me." Where's some dirt so I can draw myself a birthday cake.

6 Comments:

  • At 8:46 AM, November 07, 2007, Anonymous Lab Kat said…

    Oooooooooooohhhhh....

    HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY
    HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY
    HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY, JOY!

    happy birthday, chica!

     
  • At 9:11 AM, November 07, 2007, Blogger Gadfly said…

    Wow

    I remember a time when I was a LOT older than you.

    *ducking*

    Happy Birthday, doll. You've worked hard, and you and Bullet Head have built a great home and family with a proper balance of love, madness, tenderness and humor. You've done well :o)

     
  • At 3:04 PM, November 07, 2007, Blogger Kelly said…

    When I ask my husband how I look in an outfit, his usual response is "I'd do you in that!"

    Is it your birthday? Happy Birthday sweetie!

     
  • At 4:29 PM, November 07, 2007, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Thanks for the bday wishes, ladies.

    Gadfly, you're fired. :)

    Kel - that is a great answer. AoD, take note. :) He thinks he communicates his love for me by an occasional smack on the ass. Ahhh, true love.

     
  • At 7:58 PM, November 07, 2007, Blogger Once Upon a Campsite said…

    Happy Birthday!

     
  • At 8:15 AM, November 09, 2007, Blogger Moi said…

    I was out of town, or I would have sent you timely birthday wishes!

    I've got the same problem over here today. But Mr. Man reminded the kids this morning that today was the day. Nothing like getting woken up at Oh Dark 30 to birthday wishes.

     

Post a Comment

<< Home