Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Hints for Husbands This Holiday Season

Ok, guys. Pull up a chair and listen up. Take notes, if necessary.

First off, don't ever tell your wife that her hair looks like a Cocker Spaniel. *I would think this one should be self-explanatory.*

Second off, make sure if you give her a toaster oven for Christmas that you give her some bling or something, too. I mean, it is a thoughtful gift to help make her chores more easily accomplished. However, on our birthday, Valentine's Day, our anniversary and Christmas, we want something pretty, special and NOT practical. UNLESS we request something that is helpful or whatever, like the year I asked for a new flat-screen monitor. That was awesome. But, I'd rather have something that makes me feel special and not something that makes me feel like a housewife with Cocker Spaniel hair. Uh, wait, did I type that outloud?

Nevermind. What made me think of all this was the Doghouse video. Go have a giggle. And, men, stay out of the doghouse.

p.s. Army of Dad is pouting now and asked me to add that the year I got the toaster oven (which I use all the time and love) is the same year I got the monitor that I had been asking for. There, honey, are you happy now? I do love my toaster oven. It is very handy and would make a thoughtful addition to any busy mom's kitchen. However, I would NOT wrap it up and give it as a gift ... just bring it home with some flowers to "make her life easier" and let her know how much you "appreciate all she does to take care" of you and your children. It might go even farther if you put a gift certificate on top for a massage or day of pampering.


  • At 10:04 PM, December 07, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I have to say, of all the missteps JS might have taken in our gift-buying history together, buying me a toaster oven has not been one of them.

    I think he realized if he did, he'd be peeing through a catheter for a week.

  • At 10:07 PM, December 07, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh, and JS has never critized my hair. He might have taken a breath and paused before commenting (for which he gets tremendous kudos), but never critized.

  • At 5:00 AM, December 08, 2008, Blogger Susabelle said…

    I'm one of those wierdoes that doesn't like bling or useless gifts. My happiest year was when hubby got me a Kitchenaid Mixer for Christmas. The year before that it was an extra-tall and extra-wide ironing board I'd been lusting after. I'm a practical girl, and I prefer to receive practical gifts. I have all the bling my fingers can wear, have never liked massages (what's with the icky greasy oily thing afterwards that makes me go home and take a shower, thus eliminating all the relaxation of the massage in the first place??). Give me a practical gift any day.

  • At 8:11 AM, December 08, 2008, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    I'm cracking up at Kat - I know JS knows better. :) Army of Dad backtracked later and just said it wasn't that my hair looked bad, it was just that the way it was resting on my shoulders looked very cocker spaniel ear-ish. :) *shrug* I pulled it back after that.

    And, Susabelle - you are every husband's dream. I prefer something I would LIKE to have ... if it is something practical, then that is great. I just hate getting things I NEED. I would rather just get those when I need them rather than wait for a holiday. *shrug*

    I guess a better hint for husbands would be to know your wife well. I always appreciate the practical gifts, I really do. I just want to feel special when I receive a gift. It is probably very greedy and selfish of me, but I don't like feeling like the thing that identifies me more than anything else is the fact that I'm a glorified house elf. Maybe I should look into the cooking sherry more often. That might cure my ails. :)

  • At 10:34 AM, December 08, 2008, Blogger Gadfly said…

    AoD: Women! Huh?

  • At 1:56 PM, December 08, 2008, Blogger Kim du Toit said…

    Rule #1 for Men: Never, EVER buy her an appliance for a present. Never. Ever.

    Unless she asks for one, and it's expensive (e.g. the super-duper KitchenAid mixer, an espresso machine, or similar).

    And if you MUST buy her an appliance, it should be for preparing food. Vacuum cleaners etc. are an easy way to get lawyers involved in your marriage.

    Buy her beauty, not utility.

    Remember, I have been married three times for a total of 24 years (sentences run consecutively) over two continents.

    I know whereof I speak.

  • At 9:19 PM, December 08, 2008, Blogger Army of Dad said…

    I probably shouldn't bring up the rolling luggage rack I got her for Christmas one year either...damn, too late.

    (That was also an auxillary gift, she got a large and nice present as the main gift like she usually gets)

  • At 9:37 PM, December 09, 2008, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Of course tonight I return from Home Depot with a request that sort of goes against the whole idea of my post. I asked AoD for a six-foot aluminum ladder. It's only $36. I could use that bad boy. Alot.


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