Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


AoM's Bad Weather Day Theme Song

I started a fire in the fireplace beside my desk. I've overloaded myself on allergy meds (although at least three different people today have said "You sound awful!" including my mother who thought I was Pickle, the 14-year-old boy). I've opened three new boxes of tissues and banned the children from the Xbox 360 in my office area.

Still, they persist in asking for Saltine crackers, cereal, soda, you name it. Poking the fire and getting it roaring, I was thinking about The Christmas Song and chestnuts roasting on an open fire. So, I made up my own song. Sing along, if you'd like. Use Mel Torme's diddy as the tune:

Dad's dead trees burning on an open fire
Snot dripping from my nose
Names being yelled by my offspring
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.
Everybody knows a nasal spray
and some Benadryl
Help to make the allergies quell
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to leave mama alone today.
They know that Mom's trying to make phone calls
She's loaded lots of Wii games and snacks on their trays
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if mom's head
really will explode as they run by.
And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from six to 12+2
Although it's been said
many times, many ways
Will you shut the hell up and leave me alone?


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