Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Little Miss Muffet, I'm not

You know the nursery rhyme. She was sitting down to have a snack when along came a spider to sit down beside her ... or something like that. Then, she freaked and ran off without eating her curds and whey. Well, I wasn't eating and I didn't run.

I have to set up the whole scenario for it to make sense. First off, we have this drain behind our back door that is a drain for the central air conditioning unit. Well, instead of just having it make a giant puddle or dripping on us as we walk out the back door, we decided to make a little drainage pipe with PVC and put a big bucket under there to collect the water. It keeps it from getting real messy and we can reuse that water for our grass and my plants. One bad thing is that during the summer, I have to dump it every day or it will overflow and sort of defeats the purpose.

On the front side of my back fence (not the back yard, but the front yard area) I planted some irises and cannas. So, I thought that I'd dump the water over the fence to water the plants there. So, I take the full bucket (about the size of a mop bucket) and head over to the fence. I have a milk crate that I use as a stool to stand on (I'm short, ok?) to dump the water over the fence. I'm walking along, pleased with myself for remembering to empty the bucket. I don't remember every day. And I'm beebopping along and look to my right at the kids' playhouse. Right about the time that I have the bucket over my head, I see this GIANT friggin spiderweb, complete with GIANT friggin spider, hanging between the fence and the kids' playhouse. Following my first instinct to jump back, I did so while completely forgetting about the bucket of water over my head. As I remember to dump the water, I pour it wildly toward the fence, so what didn't pour on me splashed back on me. *shaking my head* So, my right arm and my right boob were wet and cold after that.

Reason No. 1,843 why I'm an airhead.


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