Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


I have the weirdest sex dreams

I just don't get it. Ok, well, in my dreams I do. *snicker* But, what I mean is that the dudes I dream about aren't the kinds of guys I would normally think are hot and have a passing mental fancy for. For instance, for several years my dream man was *ok, this is embarrassing* Kelsey Grammar. WTF? Not someone that I think is just hot. Maybe it is his wit and apparent intelligence (minus all the drug stuff). Then, I will occasionally have sex dreams about Troy Aikman. At least that one makes a little bit of sense. Of course, I still think he may be gay. There were just TOO many rumors about that one for there not to have some small snippet of truth in there.

But, my latest dream man - don't laugh - it is just part of my geekdom come out. Why it can't at least be Eomer or Aragorn or even Legolas. Nope, no sir. It has to be none other than:

*hanging my head and shuffling away in shame*

Maybe there is something about the size of their feet ... he is the tallest of the hobbits.


  • At 9:58 AM, October 15, 2004, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Don't feel bad AoM. I dreamed that Shaquille O'Neal was trying to get me to leave my husband for him.
    And the whole Kelsey Grammar thing -- his voice is very sexy to me.

  • At 10:19 AM, October 15, 2004, Blogger Uzz said…

    Look on the bright least it took a humanoid form...I mean you could have dreamed about Elmo, E.T. or just about any cartoon that would be weird!

  • At 2:51 PM, October 15, 2004, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Well, there seems to be a market for midget porn, why not hobbit porn?

  • At 4:03 PM, October 15, 2004, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Eww. I saw a box at the video store of the other day of midget porn. That is effing nasty. As far as ET goes ... double Ewww. Can you hear him moaning in that "phone home" voice. *evil laugh* And, a hobbit would be just about the right height for that 2 of 5. Hmmm ... but I was thinking more about the old saying about a man's foot size is a reflection of his, uh, er, size of his manhood. Oh hell, foot size = dick size I've been told. I don't think it is true though because my first was 6'4 and his dick did NOT reflect his size 12 shoes. *shrug* I just hope it isn't as hairy as a hobbit's feet. EWWW. Major shaving going on there, too. And, I love Shaq begging a gal to leave her husband. That is a good one. Now, I gotta believe THAT would be a massive male member ...

  • At 4:54 PM, October 15, 2004, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    As Jeff Foxworthy (or maybe it was Bill Engvall) about those sayings: "They say the bigger the hands the bigger the [wink], the bigger the feet, the bigger the nose...You know that guy better be packing something because he's one goofy looking dude."

  • At 6:42 PM, October 15, 2004, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I don't know AoM, you might be too short to match up, uh, properly height wise with hobbits.

    Also how does this thread get so many comments!?

    Army of Dad

  • At 9:07 AM, October 16, 2004, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Sex sells baby!


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