Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.

1.10.2006

My NHL

Since 9/11 I have turned into a middle-aged white man who is Republican, company executive, drives an SUV and has 2.5 children and a trophy wife. Ok, well not really. It's just that is when I started listening to WBAP for news and talk-radio. I digress, but there is a reason for that explanation.

Every morning, I listen to these Dallas Stars commercials by Ralph and Razor detailing what is in "my NHL" and I thought they were cute and funny. Today, they had my favorite. I'm paraphrasing, but you'll get the idea:

In my NHL, the pucks are made of chocolate. The sticks are made of peanut brittle and the players sweat honey.

Sweaty hockey players are right up my alley anyway. But, I did the unimaginable while driving down Interstate 35 with my 3-year-old in her carseat behind me watching "Lord of the Beans" on the DVD player. I visualized Mike Modano and Derrian Hatcher sweating honey. Suddenly sitting in traffic to get to the bank was a whole lot more pleasant. Of course, I started thinking of licking honey-sweat off these guys and then, well then, I started thinking of a certain Divinyls song. Now, I'm ready for AoD to come home.

*fanning self*

Think of work. Must write about high rise construction and chemical safety training on commerical farms.

I did see that the My NHL ad campaign is a national NHL deal. It is a good one. Makes me want to spend $45 to go see a Stars game. Also gives me a craving for honey, but I don't think that was their intent.

6 Comments:

  • At 10:17 AM, January 10, 2006, Anonymous Army of Dad said…

    We will never spend any money to support those traitorous bastards from the north!

    NEVER!

    If I were given free tickets I would find off site parking and not eat or drink while at the game. Fuck them, very hard with sharp objects while being given electric shocks while OC is sprayed into their eyes.

     
  • At 10:22 AM, January 10, 2006, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Ok, that wasn't exactly the response I expected from my loving husband.

    But, a little history for everyone else: He is from Minnesota and is ticked because they NorthStars are now the Dallas Stars. *shrug* I thought he'd be happy that his team was close by, but he feels some slight that they left Minnesota for drought-stricken, warmer weather. *again, I shrug*

    I was sort of hoping for some happy comment about his wife's warm, tingly sensations, but apparently hockey bitterness supercedes that.

     
  • At 11:35 AM, January 10, 2006, Anonymous Army of Dad said…

    Those bastards claimed they couldn't make money on hockey in Minnesota, which is of course utter bullshit.

    Not that I'm bitter or anything...

     
  • At 11:42 AM, January 10, 2006, Blogger Gadfly said…

    Don't make me separate you two!

    Mom: I know I'm weird ... but you ... you ain't far behind ;-)

     
  • At 8:31 PM, January 10, 2006, Blogger cashin said…

    I back up AoD's bitterness. Can't make money in this area? HA! Pauck to the teeth, all of them.

     
  • At 11:30 AM, January 11, 2006, Blogger North Dallas Thirty said…

    LOL....why, WHY am I thinking that AoD has a Norman Green voodoo doll somewhere in the house, probably impaled on the shrine with Dino Ciccarelli and Neal Broton's pictures illuminated by small candles?

    And AoM, don't worry....the same portions of the brain that deal with righteous anger also deal with sex, so once they're aroused, everything's aroused. Or something like that, anyway.

     

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