Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


All this and more

This is an infomerical waiting to happen.

Announcer: Are you tired of spending money on contact lenses? Frustrated with the dried out eyes? The hundreds of dollars in bills for seeing the eye doctor each year?

Well, now you can throw those contacts and all those chemicals in the trash with the easy do-it-yourself Lasik at Home. LASIK@Home is the same patented surgical procedure performed at eye clinics around the world, but without the unnecessary equipment and staff.

Here is how it works: The Scal-Palâ„¢ is actually two lasers in one! First the Scal-Palâ„¢ femtosecond laser cuts a small flap in the cornea of your eye. Then the excimer laser vaporizes a tiny section of the lens without damaging the surrounding tissue. The whole procedure takes only a few minutes and is virtually painless.* (this claim has not been evaluated by the FDA).

In four, yes FOUR, easy steps you, too, can do Lasik at home!

What would you pay for this procedure? Thousands at the doctor's office. At home, would you expect to pay $1,000? $500? No, you pay Only $99.95 Credit card only. No PayPal.

But, wait. There's more!

You can even get your own t-shirt featuring the four easy steps for only $21!!!

Audience member AoM: Wow, I'm getting AoD this for his birthday!!!


  • At 10:23 AM, April 12, 2006, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    It looks for real. Scary, isn't it?

    Another friend told me about this nasty product: neti pot where they use it to clean out their sinuses.


  • At 4:46 PM, April 12, 2006, Blogger Little Me said…

    That's insane! It looks real, but is it? Who would do that to themselves?
    I stand by neti pots, however. Anyone prone to sinus infections would benefit. It may sound gross, but it is an effective, time tested and totally safe way of treating sinus infections without antibiotics.
    Lazering your own eyes, however...

  • At 9:35 PM, April 12, 2006, Blogger MrsDoF said…

    Hey, don't be dissing the neti pot. It is great help to relieve sinus infection. No decongestant works as well. Doctors prescribe nasal sprays all the time.
    Of course, I had to have a friend who was born in India, but is now a US citizen, show me how to use it properly.

    No way would I try the laser at home procedure, though.

  • At 11:31 PM, April 12, 2006, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    No offense, MrsDoF, but you also like the diva cup.


    Enough said.

  • At 7:45 AM, April 13, 2006, Blogger MrsDoF said…

    It amazes me that someone who was able to wear drain grenades on her hips and have antibitics through a tube would get squeamish about an alternate gadget for the monthly needs.

    And also how you manage to find all these weirdo links such as a home remedy using a laser.
    Always an education here at AoM ;)

  • At 8:51 AM, April 13, 2006, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Oh, trust me, the drain grenades grossed me out to no end. But, if I was going to have the surgery, I HAD to have them. Same with the IV port in my chest. It was gross, no doubt about it, but not a choice.

    Sticking a cup like the boys wear for karate in my panties upside down to collect my menstrual blood: Gross.

    Touche. ;)

    Oh, and my friends all send me this weird and twisted stuff for my blog.

  • At 2:23 PM, April 16, 2006, Blogger Mo K said…

    The site's a good attempt at a practical joke, but LASIK simply can't be done at home, or by one person, or with such cheap equipment. Snopes also calls shenanigans on the site. In part:

    " Any vendor, therefore, offering LASIK devices for patients to use on themselves to perform at-home eye surgery would be both dangerous and acting illegally. Fortunately, the LASIK@Home web site referenced above is merely a hoax, not a serious attempt to market such devices. (Among the many clues to the site's invalidity are a lack of a phone number, a physical or mailing address, and a functioning mechanism for ordering the product supposedly being advertised)."

    Helluvan elaborate joke, though!
    Hubby has had two sinus surgeries, and the doc gave him a recipe for a saline solution using canning salt, baking soda and distilled water. He uses a syringe to squirt it up there (:-@), worse than a neti pot, if ya ask me! No thanks, but hubs says it's not so bad. And it's really helped. He says I should do it, too. I just remember getting pool water up my shnoz as a kid. Not fun. But maybe the diff. is that it was chorinated. Anyway, he says it's easiest when combining it with a shower.


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