Single mom fears
One thing every single mom has to deal with is the issue of dating or not dating. Then, there are the very important concerns that come with dating from when do you let the kids meet the boyfriend, is it ever ok for him to stay all night, etc. etc.
Another one that non-single folks don't think about it is the very real danger of being courted by a pedophile.
I watched men around my son when I was a single mom. I watched the way they looked at him. I watched the way they treated him. I watched the way they looked at anyone. Then, I judged whether they were ok to be with my son or not. Anyone who took TOO much interest in him was crossed off the list. Fortunately, that never happened. I dated a few great soldiers and firefighters between my divorce and meeting Army of Dad. They may not have been the right guy for me, but they were great guys, nonetheless. They were kind to my son, but it was genuinely me (or my attributes) that they were interested in and I could tell that.
Talking to one of my girlfriends (who has been divorced from her air force guy for about a year or two now) the other day and she was so excited that a guy asked her out on a date. He has been a customer at the bank where she works and she was thrilled to be noticed.
Until ... while surfing the county's website, she saw the link for sex offenders and clicked on it. There he was - the first guy on the list - the man who had asked her out. I thought she was going to throw up when she told me. On her desk at work, several framed photos of her 10-year-old daughter in her ballet leotard and her 7-year-old son in his soccer uniform. The man was convicted of molesting his stepdaughter.
Just one more thing that sucks about being a single mom. Being poor and having very little time for a social life was only part of it.
Another one that non-single folks don't think about it is the very real danger of being courted by a pedophile.
I watched men around my son when I was a single mom. I watched the way they looked at him. I watched the way they treated him. I watched the way they looked at anyone. Then, I judged whether they were ok to be with my son or not. Anyone who took TOO much interest in him was crossed off the list. Fortunately, that never happened. I dated a few great soldiers and firefighters between my divorce and meeting Army of Dad. They may not have been the right guy for me, but they were great guys, nonetheless. They were kind to my son, but it was genuinely me (or my attributes) that they were interested in and I could tell that.
Talking to one of my girlfriends (who has been divorced from her air force guy for about a year or two now) the other day and she was so excited that a guy asked her out on a date. He has been a customer at the bank where she works and she was thrilled to be noticed.
Until ... while surfing the county's website, she saw the link for sex offenders and clicked on it. There he was - the first guy on the list - the man who had asked her out. I thought she was going to throw up when she told me. On her desk at work, several framed photos of her 10-year-old daughter in her ballet leotard and her 7-year-old son in his soccer uniform. The man was convicted of molesting his stepdaughter.
Just one more thing that sucks about being a single mom. Being poor and having very little time for a social life was only part of it.
2 Comments:
At 11:49 AM, May 18, 2006,
Army of Mom said…
Just cruising our local list of registered sex offenders and they are everywhere and it is scary. Some of these guys look like sickos. Some look like normal people.
The sickest parts are looking at their crimes and victims. Lots and lots of teenaged girls. Several children 10 and under in there including some in the same age range of my sweet baby girl. Just turns my stomach that these people are walking loose.
At 11:49 AM, May 18, 2006,
Gadfly said…
There was a lady in Dallas in the news recently. She was married to this guy for 10 years and they raised two healthy, well-adjusted children, but the marriage was dead, so she moved out with the kids. Later, the FBI raided the guys house. He was a member of NAMBLA and enjoyed traveling to Mexico to have sex with underage boys.
How's THAT for a kick in the teeth?
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