Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.

12.27.2006

Burglars hit the jackpot

This was in the police blotter for today's newspaper:

Someone broke into a car and stole a number of Christmas presnts, according to a crime report. The owner said the burglary occurred Thursday night or early Friday morning. The burglars took two DVD players, a pair of tennis shoes, a gift-wrapped DVD copy of Girls Gone Wild and a Big Mouth Billy Bass talking fish.

Now, I know the theft of someone's gifts shouldn't be funny, but the thought of someone actually buying and wrapping a Girls Gone Wild DVD for someone's Christmas is sort of amusing to me. Now, I did get sexy undergarments for Christmas from my husband, but to whom do you give a Girls Gone Wild DVD?

Gift-giver: We're celebrating the birth of a savior, dude, here's a DVD featuring drunken topless hoochie mommas. Nothing says 'happy birthday, Jesus' to me like some horny sluts who don't mind getting naked on video in front of strangers in exchange for a T-shirt.

The thieves hit the jackpot on that one. They got the DVD and the Billy Bass was just icing on the cake. I'm sure there is a pawn shop in town with two DVD players for sale today or someone's old lady got a new one for Christmas. Lovely, nothing says love to me like a stolen item for Christmas, either.

2 Comments:

  • At 3:06 PM, December 27, 2006, Anonymous Army of Dad said…

    But what if a the gift recipient was really good this year? Or good at being bad?

     
  • At 3:16 PM, December 27, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hi, this is completely unrelated, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm writing about my panniculectomy and would like to reference your saga. I read all of May & June 2005 but what I'd really like to know, being 9 days out myself, is: is it worth it? Do you regret doing it? I'd love some long-term perspective.

    I'm not on blogger, I'm at gwendally.livejournal.com. Like you, I have three kids and lost the pregnancy weight. Like you, I love my husband and am active with the kids and hold down a job. I'm about as unlike you politically as possible, though, and so you'd probably hate me: I'm a liberal Massachusetts feminist democrat whose passport isn't valid anywhere in Texas except perhaps Austin. ;-) But I've got a 24 inch incision at the moment, and really wish more first-person accounts of this horror were available so I'm writing one and wanted to link to you if that's okay with you.

     

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