Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


I'm Mr. Lonely

Depression is an ugly member of my family. My mother and my brother both suffer from severe depression and have as long as I can remember. It didn't dawn on me until just a few years ago that my mom suffered from depression when I was growing up. It was pretty common knowledge that she was simply "crazy" by the family. But, it finally dawned on me that the woman who was in bed when I left for school in the morning was also the same woman who was in bed when I got home from school, too. I used to think it was because she was sick. Well, ok, I was partially right. She was sick, it just wasn't what most of us think about when we think of someone being sick.

I have fought this monster for much of my adult life. I usually just hit a low spot for a few days and then I'm fine for months and months. Occasionally, I struggle with anxiety and stress. It got really bad when I went through postpartum depression after I had Little Bit. I didn't know what was wrong with me and it took a while for me to figure it out. It was really scary.

I'm just having a particularly rough month or so and feel very, very lonely.


  • At 11:36 PM, July 02, 2007, Blogger Uzz said…'re not alone. You know how I have struggled and this past few months, I have been mired in depression. Mostly its that sense of hopelessness that nothing will ever get better...the house will never get clean...bills will never will I keep my head above health insurance...why am I cursed to not have found that someone.

    What really sucks is that while I know I need to be seeing someone, I simply can't afford it. It just starts to wear you out...then suddenly things will go well and you'll feel pretty good and then...BAM...right back down to the bottom.

    Thankfully I can get up in the morning and work...thankfully I have my son to live for...thankfully I have family and friends who know when I am slipping...I just wish I could defeat it once and for all.

    I know you have a great support staff, but if you ever need anything, you know where to find me:-)

    Try and have a Happy 4th!!!

  • At 1:09 AM, July 03, 2007, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    I'm ok ... I will get through the rough patch. I just hate it when I get this way because I like being an up-tempo happy kind of gal. I know I'm one of those people who can fake the smile really well - my assistant soccer coach was shocked to learn that I hate practices and want to throttle several of the children AND their parents ... she said, I would never know from your smile and cheery attitude. Gees, I'm better at that stuff than I thought. :)

    thanks, though. I do like that Akon song, though.

  • At 9:23 AM, July 03, 2007, Blogger Jenni said…

    I really do understand and completely sympathize sweetie. Sending you big hugs!!

  • At 1:12 PM, July 03, 2007, Blogger North Dallas Thirty said…

    (big, big cross-continent hug)

  • At 9:12 AM, July 06, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 7:22 PM, July 06, 2007, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Hmm, not sure what to think about that last comment, so I will delete it for good measure.

  • At 9:50 PM, July 07, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Definitely not alone. I've struggled with it myself. Was bad the last couple years I spent in Houston. I'm better now but I still have those downtimes as well. All I can say is hang in there and you know you have a great family and friends that are here for you.


  • At 11:58 AM, July 08, 2007, Blogger Mo K said…

    Nope. You're definitely not alone, honey. It sucks. It's one of the things I would be interesting in knowing about my birth mom. Guess I'll never know who my birth dad is, so that's a whole other half about which I'll always be in the dark.
    The one comforting thing is to always remember that "this, too, shall pass." It always does.


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