I'm Mr. Lonely

Depression is an ugly member of my family. My mother and my brother both suffer from severe depression and have as long as I can remember. It didn't dawn on me until just a few years ago that my mom suffered from depression when I was growing up. It was pretty common knowledge that she was simply "crazy" by the family. But, it finally dawned on me that the woman who was in bed when I left for school in the morning was also the same woman who was in bed when I got home from school, too. I used to think it was because she was sick. Well, ok, I was partially right. She was sick, it just wasn't what most of us think about when we think of someone being sick.

I have fought this monster for much of my adult life. I usually just hit a low spot for a few days and then I'm fine for months and months. Occasionally, I struggle with anxiety and stress. It got really bad when I went through postpartum depression after I had Little Bit. I didn't know what was wrong with me and it took a while for me to figure it out. It was really scary.

I'm just having a particularly rough month or so and feel very, very lonely.