Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


The Birds and the Bee Gees

Well, yesterday Army of Dad had "the talk" with Hot Rod. He has been coming home using words like "hump" in ways that I knew he was hearing things from kids at school.

So, I encouraged AoD to have a sit down with the child.

And, in typical Hot Rod fashion (which is anything but typical), he took the news with raucous laughter. And lucky me, we got to continue the discussion some this morning.

Apparently, AoD touched on a variety of topics including in vitro (for the non-traditional way), too. From piecing together the conversation from what Hot Rod and AoD told me, this is pretty close to how a portion went:

AoD: Sometimes, the mom and dad need some help from the doctor.
Hot Rod: *bursting into laughter and gesturing as if he is trying to land a plane an an aircraft hangar and speaking in his best doctor voice* So, you need some help there?

Then, this morning, we have this conversation:
Hot Rod: How does the doctor help?
AoM: Sometimes the doctor has to put the sperm inside the mom.
Hot Rod: Why?
AoM: Well, some guys have problems with the sperm having the materials they need to make the baby.
Hot Rod: How does the doctor get the sperm?
AoM: Well, the man has to give it to him.
Hot Rod: What if he doesn't want to give it to him?
AoM: Well, then they get it from another man.
Hot Rod: Did dad need any help?
AoM: *fighting back all sorts of images* No, son, your dad required no assistance whatsoever. Do you want a waffle for breakfast?

A few years back, I bought some books from Focus on the Family (yes, that group is good for a few things including great resources for no-nonsense literature about how babies are made and being a teenager books) for Pickle when it was his time to learn about these things. Yet, another conversation ensued:

AoM: Where are those books I got you about sex and stuff?
Pickle: We moved them over here. Why?
AoM: We had the birds and the bees talk with Hot Rod and he wants to read them.
Pickle: Oh yeah, the birds and the Bee Gees talk. *snickering*
AoM: *not willing to lose a chance to share the embarrassment with another family member* So, anything else you want to know about sex?
Pickle: Uh, no. Thanks. What's for breakfast?


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