When Its Over

My dear husband has never understood why I get so scared of losing him. We've been together for 13 years, married for 12 of them. My world revolves around him. Yes, we each have our interests and our own friends, but he is the center of my universe.

And, for years, I've struggled with insecurities. He has done nothing to ever give me reason to feel this way - but I just know what a catch I have in him. And, I know how other women are.

I've seen it over the years when women weasel their way into another relationship. And, no, those men aren't innocent bystanders. But, it is scary to watch couples (that I think have it all together) fall apart.

I heard news of another one of those couples today. 25 years of marriage, a few kids and all that goes with the for better/for worse scenario. And, they're calling it quits. I know them as casual friends, but not good enough to ask questions and I'm not in that inner circle. I sent each of them a message on Facebook offering my friendship as they go through this and learned that XYZ will be a great "stepmom" to the kids. So, *snap* just like that, he has replaced this woman who has stood by his side all these years.

I'm assuming the new gal will be an "upgrade" to the younger, more attractive version. (this may be unfair of me to assume, but it is what I see everywhere I look). At baseball, I see these coaches who have the new thin attractive wives. I meet their ex-wives and I can see why they'd trade them in. But, then I wonder, were the overweight and bitter before or is that a by-product of being cast aside after going through all that they did?

Regardless ... needless to say, it gives me pause and always makes me fret and worry. When you give a man the best years of your life and your cast aside ... that is hard to take. Its hard to watch, too.

Poor Army of Dad. Now, he's got the task of reassuring me that he's happy with my big ass and nagging. And, now I have to pull back the reins and not be paranoid of being next. It breaks my heart.