Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Don't click the keys so loudly

The hangover really isn't as bad as I thought it might be. I got really stupid last night. So did 2 0f 5. It is funny to see two grown women - ages 35 (for a few more weeks) and 37 - turn into slobbering idiots over 20-year-old boys. *fanning myself* These boys were VERY hot. Ok, most of them. There are a few that we reserve for our trips to the potty.

Let me start at the beginning. The night started off on the wrong foot as I didn't get to leave until an hour late - as a matter of fact - I left when I was supposed to meet the girls in Dallas. Army of Dad had a golf tournament with his work that ran late. Then, on my way out of town, I am about two car lengths behind a wreck. Some bitch didn't yield and just pulled right into the guy in front of me causing his truck to flip. Scary as shit it was to see. (said in my best Yoda voice *shaking my head* funny after I read that through again). But, I digress. It was really scary. The dude in the pick up was stuck initially. The girl who hit him was fine. The guy in the truck managed to get out after someone crawled in and undid his seat belt. He was in good shape. His hands were bloody, swollen and starting to look bruised to me. I did impress myself, though, because my first instinct was to cry, but I knew that wasn't going to help anyone, so I stifled it. *shrug* So, with that just happening, I was finally on my way to meet the girls in Dallas.

I got to the steakhouse late, but I called and the gals ordered for me, so my steak arrived shortly after I did, which was nice. It wasn't the leisurely dinner I had hoped it would be, but it was still good. Then, 2 of 5 and I left our pregnant friend and headed for LaBare and an evening of debauchery.

We lost count of our drinks, which is always fun. The shot boy was a BIG disappointment this time. I'll give him an A for effort, but only a C+ for execution and looks. I was hoping to buy 2 of 5 a shot boy drink, but it got turned around on me and she bought one for me. At least the drink was a buttery nipple, but I can't chug drinks really well, so when he poured it in my mouth I gagged and it came out my nose. Now I know what a buttery nipple smells like from the inside. Eww. Felt like a total dork. Thank God the shot boy wasn't some big stud or I may have crawled under our table and stayed there.

I think every woman should go to a male review to see life from a man's perspective. I liken it to a trip to the titty bar for a man. More often than not, the chicks working there are hotter than his wife. Probably not all the time. Some guys are lucky bastards. But, for the rest of us, the chicks are hotter than the guys' wives. However, it is all about fantasy and such and he is going to come home and do you and not the little vamp at the titty bar. Same thing at LaBare. 2 of 5 and I giggled like school girls for much of our adventure. Another thing I like about this place is that we have the great equalizer in the world - money. Ok, 2 0f 5 had the money, but she shared it willingly with her partner in crime. She even encouraged me, not that it took any real arm-twisting.

The bargain hunters that we are, we shop around before we fixate on a couple of handsome young men. We both had to wipe the drool from our mouths for the oh-so-young Angelo. My oh my. This hot tamale had ALL the women in the place on fire. He had that impish mischievous Ricky Martin look to him and fabulous hair. Oh, what fabulous hair. My
fixation for the evening was Trent. If you look at pictures 7 and 9 on the Sept. 25 candids you'll see him. Both Angelo and Trent are the absolute antithesis of Army of Dad. They were both fun-loving and playful, but that is where the similarities between them and my husband end. Angelo is lanky and Trent had a great Henry Rollins meets spiked/dread lock rocker. *fanning self* He has his eyebrow pierced, a piercing in that area between your bottom lip and your chin and both his nipples were pierced with rings *evil smile*. Oh yeah, and he had tattoos - one on his stomach and another on his back. They were really both very friendly - but of course, we had dollar bills in hand, so they'd be smart to be friendly. Then, there is our old LaBare buddy J. Fabian. Of course, the big thing is that if these guys were out in a regular club or at the mall and acted like they do in the club, we'd clobber 'em and call them assholes. But, in this environment, it is all in good fun.

Anyway. Fun was had by all and I did get entirely loopy. I knew it was bad when I gave Trent $1 for the road and he told me to be safe on the drive home. Made me pause for a moment. I don't remember doing it, but I locked my keys in my car when I got home last night. *shaking my head*

Wish the kids wouldn't talk so loudly. Soccer should be fun today. I'll have to coach the second half of the little kids' game because the big kids' game start is an hour after the little ones. Now, where is that advil?


Post a Comment

<< Home