Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Farting in a crowd

First off, I can't believe I'm blogging about this, but it is too damn funny not to.

Ok, I admit it. I have been a gassy kind of gal today. I could make flowers wilt with the bombs I was dropping ALL freaking day long. Being the Southern lady that I am, I was mortified 99.9 percent of the time and did my best to be discreet by excusing myself to the bathroom or hiding in a part of the house where no-one was going to be at. But, tonight, I took Hot Rod to Six Flags for some special time in which he got to pick what we did and how often. So, he wanted to go to Snow Hill to sled. Since we live in Texas and only get to sled maybe - MAYBE - once a year down our driveway, I humored the child. The lines were atrocious tonight, nothing like the little things we waited in on Friday. Everyone and their dog went to Six Flags tonight. Anyway. We're waiting in this line that weaves and winds and I feel the urge. Oh no, I'm thinking. There are people ALL around me. So, I wait until we're standing next to a trash can and let it rip. My farts are silent, but deadly, as friends and family will attest. So, this group of about four little girls behind me starts going at it:

Wow! That really stinks!
Is it the trashcan? Gross!
Ewww. That is so smelly
Their mom: ok, ok, it smells really bad. Can you stop talking about it?

I'm stifling back a giggle at having tricked them when one of the two ladies in front of me reaches up to cover her nose and starts looking all around her to find the guilty culprit. About this time, I lean over and start talking to Hot Rod about something. He never noticed. Poor kid may have been used to it by then.

As the smell dissipates, I'm absolutely in a full giggle, but working incredibly hard to stifle it. I had those little chuckles that no one can hear, but if they're looking at you, they see your chest and shoulders shaking. I'm actually laughing about it now in retrospect.

It is hard for me to believe that something so nasty can erupt from my voluptuous ass. Scary may be a better word.

On a lighter and happier note, Hot Rod got to meet the bulk of the University of Cincinnati Bearcats football team at Six Flags tonight. The Bearcats will face Marshall University in the Fort Worth Bowl this Thursday. UC did a fabulous job of decking out the players in their football jerseys and UC warmup suits and gave each of them a stack of glossy 8x10 team photos complete with autograph spots on the bottom of the front and entire back. Each player also had a Sharpie, too. It was wonderful and the kid about died. He was soooo excited to get to meet these guys and talk to them. The players were really nice, too. So, that was quite the unexpected treat. Of course, this is the ONE time that I didn't take my camera with me to Six Flags. *doh* But, he got a UC football poster and two 8x10s with many autographs to hang in his room. Maybe, he'll get to go to the game on Thursday, but we'll likely just watch it. The game will be on ESPN at 5:30 p.m. Central time.

Pickle got to meet an elf and the Harley Santa this weekend. Very cute pic. Go check it out and have a giggle. I was, personally, shocked that he didn't have his picture made with the Santa Hoochies.


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