Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


The Halftime Flush


Coach Ditka and Prepare America for Potential Toilet Clog Disaster

I'm not making this up. A friend of mine at a magazine got this press release. I guess I know what most people are doing at halftime.

NEENAH, Wis., Jan. 17, 2006 – Every year, 64 million Americans – more than one in five – face a clogged toilet, often at halftime. In fact, legend has it 90 million toilets will be flushed during halftime of the upcoming Big Game, creating enough water to flow over Niagara Falls for seven minutes. This high-traffic bathroom time is known as the Halftime Flush.

The SCOTT® Clog Clinic – an authority on common-sense solutions for eliminating clogged toilets – has teamed up with renowned professional football player, coach, and Big Game Halftime expert, Mike Ditka, to take control of toilet terror with This online resource offers common-sense solutions to help avoid toilet blockages, and the emotional and financial strains they cause.

"During the Big Game, the pressure to win is always intense in the locker room," said Ditka. "And, the thing is, not only does the team feel the pressure, but the fans and their bathrooms do too. See, during halftime, so many johns are flushed, they go into overtime mode. All that water pressure can cause serious clogs so, it’s important to prepare!"

To help American households get ready for the legendary Halftime Flush phenomenon, Halftime Flush provides the play-by-play when it comes to preparing for the Halftime Flush. Visitors to the Web site will learn how to prepare for and prevent clog disasters during halftime.

Preparing for the Halftime Flush
To prepare for possible sewage-system breakdown during the Halftime Flush, offers:
o Clog Prevention – Tips from SCOTT Clog Clinic researchers on preventing clogs.
o Beware of the Halftime Flush – Watch Coach Ditka in this over-the-top informational video from the SCOTT Clog Clinic on preparing for the Halftime Flush.
o Four Times Faster – Information on SCOTT® bath-tissue dissolvability.
o "Goodbye old friend" – 10 uses for that toilet plunger that you no longer need.
o Toilet flush ring tone – Mobile-phone ring tone download of a toilet flushing.
o “Know Your Flusher” game – Identify which toilet flushing sound matches which toilet photo.
o Clog Free Zone – Downloadable, free sign to post in your bathroom to warn users during the Big Game Halftime Flush!

Clog Prevention
According to the SCOTT® Clog Clinic, not all toilet paper is alike or created equally, the difference lies in its dissolvability – the rate at which toilet paper disintegrates and dissolves in water.
“The right toilet paper can help prevent clogs,” says Stu Schneider, SCOTT® Brand associate marketing director. “SCOTT Tissue has supplied common-sense products that are sewer and septic-tank safe for the past 30 years. With the potential damage the Halftime Flush can cause, it’s time to alert consumers of the clogging crisis and help them to reduce the number of household toilet clogs.”

The SCOTT Clog Clinic’s researchers have tested dissolvability since 1996. To ensure sewer and septic safety, the SCOTT Clog Clinic tests how well SCOTT Tissue moves through plumbing systems and how quickly it breaks-up during a flush. Through these tests, the SCOTT Clog Clinic found SCOTT Tissue breaks-up four times faster than the leading brand. And, using the right toilet paper can help prevent clogs.

Americans at risk of experiencing clogs are those with low-flow toilets, septic systems and older homes. As the first brand to market toilet paper on a roll nearly a century ago, SCOTT Tissue enjoys a long history of providing everyday common-sense solutions. To help avoid a serious clog, SCOTT Tissue offers two options that dissolve four times faster than the leading bath tissue, according to Clog Clinic tests – SCOTT® 1000ct and SCOTT® Extra Soft Bath Tissue.

Why Clogs Matter
According to the SCOTT Clog Clinic and Roto-Rooter Company, the largest provider of plumbing and drain-cleaning services in North America, mass toilet clogs not only inflict havoc on a household, but they also can be a burden to city sewer systems.

Facts on Clogs:
o Thirty-one percent of Americans reported experiencing a clogged toilet in 2004.
o The Big Game day is among the busiest days for Roto-Rooter, which receives 18,000 service calls two days before and through the big game.
o Seven-of-ten Americans say they have lost items such as jewelry, cell phones, keys and sunglasses down the toilet. (someone I know lost their false teeth *wink*)
o Women are more likely to lose jewelry or accessories down the toilet, while men are more likely to lose wallets, money or identification. (My kids have tossed items down the potty before.)
o Eighty-five percent of Americans who lost an item down the toilet take it upon themselves to retrieve the item by reaching in or using a hanger/makeshift device.

About SCOTT® Products
SCOTT® Products, including paper tissues, towels and napkins, is one of the largest manufacturers of tissues and napkins in the world. It is part of the Kimberly-Clark Corporation family of global brands, which play an indispensable part of life for people in more than 150 countries. Every day, 1.3 billion people - nearly a quarter of the world's population - trust K-C’s brands and the solutions they provide to enhance their health, hygiene and well-being. With brands such as KLEENEX®, SCOTT®, HUGGIES®, PULL-UPS®, KOTEX® and DEPEND®, Kimberly-Clark holds the No. 1 or No. 2 share position in more than 80 countries. For the latest K-C news and to learn more about the company's 133-year history of innovation, visit

Roto-Rooter Company at


  • At 7:10 PM, February 05, 2006, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Dammit. I couldn't hold out till halftime and had to go in the second quarter. I missed a few commercials and Pitt's extra point. :(

  • At 7:11 PM, February 05, 2006, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    That's a lot of shit about the crapper, isn't it? There is a spin for everything ...

    sorry for the load of crap. *lol* I'm full of it today. *eww, another bad pun*

    I'm on a roll. *hee hee* Get it? Roll of toilet paper?

  • At 2:35 AM, February 06, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You said you missed some commericals you can see them here if you want. :-)


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