Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Victory is sweet

Tonight, we savored our third coach pitch victory. Of course, I was having a gallbladder attack about halfway through the game, so that made pitching fun, but I managed to be fine. But, the 11-5 victory was sweet. Why, you ask? Well, early in the season, we had a guy who had his 6-year-old playing up. So, instead of t-ball where he should be, he felt his son was so studly that he should play coach pitch. Of course, this man played college baseball, so his son must be a phenom, right? Well, wrong. Only in this dad's head was his kid a stud. The kid is a spaz. Sweet kid, but a spaz. Anyway, that is neither here nor there. He felt that 90-minute practices were over the top. The games are 90 minutes, so it only makes sense to practice for 90 minutes. Then, he felt like we were too rough on the kids. HE was the one who threatened to throw a ball at his son for not paying attention. That wasn't us. He also complained that we practiced too late and that kept up his 4-year-old and 6-year-old too late. So, he wanted a 6-year-old's schedule for times and practices, but wanted him to play with the bigger boys.

Then, it gets better. He's a single dad and decided to tell me that I don't understand what it is like to be a single parent. Back that truck up, dude. I used to be a single mom. Don't tell me I don't understand. Then, he told me that I obviously don't understand having a schedule and a routine. Now, that is laughable. Anyone who knows me knows that I am one of the most organized people to the point of being completely anal retentive. So, that was amusing, too. He was going to be an assistant coach because he said he has always coached his kid's team, but didn't have time this season because his 4-year-old daughter was in competitive cheerleading and gymnastics. *rolling my eyes* He also felt compelled to tell me that we were clueless in coaching kids - even though we've been successfully coaching for almost eight years now - and then told us how great his teams have been. Our soccer team has been division champs for about three years now, give or take a season. So far, our coach pitch team is now 3-0. So, he called in to the baseball association and asked to be removed from our team. We were relieved after he spent many emails insulting me and my husband.

Tonight, we played Asswipe's team. It was so sweet to beat them and beat them resoundingly. Yes, yes, Asswipe. You were correct. We have no idea what we're doing and you are the all-knowing baseball authority. How did you stand for your sweet children to be up till 8 p.m. for the end of the game? And, I hope the crow you had to eat when you shook my hand at the end of the game was mighty tasty.

Oh and on a funny note, sweet little Larry, whom I talked about before, was going to miss the game because of Boy Scouts. He told his mom that he felt he should go to the ball game because "I'm not sure they can win without me." That was so sweet and cute. That is what we want - self confident boys. We would love for them all to feel that way! Of course, according to Asswipe, we have no clue. *rolling my eyes again*


  • At 10:29 PM, April 11, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Now now, dear. Each of the last two games lasted less than the allotted 90 minutes...we run-ruled the team in game #2 and tonight we didn't get our turn to bat in the 6th since we were already ahead by six runs.

    I think it was great of our boys to finish the game so quickly so that family could get home closer to their regular bed times!


  • At 2:05 AM, April 12, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    *happy victory dance* Whoop!Whoop!

  • At 9:07 AM, April 12, 2007, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    Thank you for the happy dance and yes, AoD, it was mighty considerate of our boys to beat the other team enough that we could skip our last at bat. :)

    Now, as I was lying in bed last night, it dawned on me that a nasty little comment one of the other team's players made was actually made by the spaz child of Coach Asswipe. I didn't make the connection until last night. When I went out to pitch to our boys, the third baseman for the other team looked toward our dugout and said "You guys stink!" Of course, we were ahead 3-0 at that point, which I found amusing that he didn't grasp the concept that you stink if you're playing poorly. But, anyway. I looked at the boy when he said it and he had that 'oh crap, I've been busted' face and I smiled and sniffed myself and said "I don't stink. I used my deoderant" and I smiled and walked to the pitcher's mound. He started backtracking at that point and said "I was just joking." To which I smiled pleasantly at him again and said "Well, I thought you must be, since no one out here stinks tonight. We all took our baths!"

    *shaking my head* Apparently, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

    We have made a point not to say ugly things about Asswipe or spazboy to our son or the other boys on the team. When a kid noticed he wasn't there, we simply told them that spazboy changed teams and that was the end of that. We never said an ill word about him or Asswipe to anyone other than our main assistant coach. We felt he was entitled to know what was going on when it happened.

  • At 9:53 AM, April 12, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You could have just directed his attention to the scoreboard...


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