Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Total Weirdness

Sometimes the damnedest (is that a word?) things happen to me.

I've been really wanting some Hooter's chicken strips lately, but we are working to conserve money, so I haven't been in a long time. Well, the past two days I've busted my ample backside to meet my deadlines this week and I have accomplished a lot. So, I thought I would reward myself with some chicken strips while catching up on the past three days of newspaper reading.

I go to the local Hooter's and all the tables are full. (this is what I get for going at 12:30) No worries, I figure, I'll just sit at the bar. I guess that was my first mistake.

I sit on the very end and there are about four or five empty seats between me and a couple of dudes also sitting at the bar. I place my order and begin to bury myself in the local newspaper.

Then, some guy walks up carrying his beer. He sits two seats over from me (leaving just one in between us). He tells the waitress that he has moved from a table and didn't know if he needed to let the waitress who took his beer order know. Then, he leans over to me (like I care) to tell me that he hated to use a table when there were so many seats at the bar. Then, he proceeds to ask me if I'm dining alone or if someone is going to come sit next to me. My first instinct is that perhaps he doesn't want to have to rub elbows with whatever guy is coming to have lunch with me. Then, I get that ooged out feeling from him after I say, no, I'm dining alone with the newspaper.

Personally, I would think it is obvious when the person next to you is reading a paper, that they really don't want to visit with you. However, he continues to try to make idle conversation. At this point, I'm thinking, ok, this is beyond just being polite. I think this guy is hitting on me. So, I make a point to let my wedding ring show prominently. He makes some idle chatter about cars and I mention that my husband likes to drive cars that are fuel efficient. He mentions that he is traveling on business and I comment that I could tell from his accent that he wasn't from around here. Then, I proceed to mention how my husband is from Minnesota and his accent pops out when he's talking to his family.

This guy can't take a hint.

He then *get ready for it* asks me if I "come here often." Swear to God. I keep going back to reading the newspaper, but I can feel him looking at me. He keeps bringing up references to things he sees I'm reading in the paper, so I finally just offer it to him. Another mistake. He starts talking about the new Mustang listed in there and how he might just look at buying one (like this is supposed to impress me, I guess.)

It just kept on and on. He finally got up to go to the bathroom and leans over and rubs my arm while thanking me for sharing the paper. I thought I was going to hurl. The waitress comes over and apologizes. "I kept thinking of ways I could rescue you from that guy, but I got nothing," she says kindly. "It ought to be obvious to him that you're not interested when you keep reading the paper and mentioning your husband."

Ok, dude. Even the cute little boobie-licious Hooters girl is bright enough to realize that I'm not remotely interested in you with your New York accent and leather jacket. I have to admit that he was very attractive and I guess I should be flattered, but I just wanted to read my stupid newspaper and eat some chicken strips in peace while occasionally looking up to watch SportsCenter highlights from time to time or admire the cute little girls while wistfully remembering when my boobs stood up like that and my ass didn't drag the ground.

Anyway. It was a really bizarre lunch to say the least. I guess I still got it.


  • At 6:44 PM, December 09, 2008, Blogger Melessa Gregg said…

    From one mom to another, your boobs still rock! (Though I know what you mean about feeling wistful.)

  • At 9:19 PM, December 09, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Well at least this lech was attractive. Tee hee. That had to have made it funner.


  • At 9:41 PM, December 09, 2008, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    *giggling* If he were disgusting, I probably wouldn't have even responded to his repeated questions and comments. :) I guess it is flattering, but it was just annoying while I'm trying to eat and read the paper. Had I been at a nightclub or bar, I could have understood and even been prepared. It just caught me completely off guard in the middle of a restaurant at lunch time. Plus, I'm an old married gal. I'm just not used to men hitting on me, I guess.

  • At 9:33 AM, December 10, 2008, Blogger Kim du Toit said…

    In the man's defense... how much errrr cleavage was on view?

  • At 2:12 PM, December 10, 2008, Blogger Army of Mom said…

    NONE. That is part of what is so weird. I had on a long-sleeved T-shirt (that is almost a mock turtleneck) and a zipped up hoodie over that. So, it wasn't like I was flaunting the girls for everyone to see. Had I been doing that, I could sort of understand. But, nothing about me shouted available.


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