Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


The hound from hell

I should have known that the redneck neighbors didn't rebuild the fence their children demolished out of altruism. No, I should have suspected something was up. Last night, I learned what foul new torment they had in store for me: a beagle.

Oh dear God.

I had a beagle once. For about two days. The damn thing howled when the wind blew. He howled when I walked by. He howled if his balls itched. It didn't matter what was going on. The damn thing howled. I figured out why the folks at the animal shelter told me we had a trial period of three days and if we weren't happy with our choice, we could bring it/him/her back and exchange it/him/her for a different critter. I thought that was a great way to do it. It bought the little hellhound more time and allowed me not to be tied down to a dog that made me absolutely batshit insane.

So, now, I get to re-live that torment with the Bumpus hound next door. Swear to God I'm going to remove its little vocal chords before the day is over. He howled for a couple of hours last night and I was able to tolerate that. Then, he started back up this morning about 6:15 a.m. or so. I don't have to be up till 7 a.m. Now, the little demonspawn is back at it.

Don't get me wrong. I am an animal lover, but this pisses me off because I can't do anything about it because the Bumpuses have done it to me. I don't blame the hellhound. I blame the Bumpuses. On a bright note, they did mow their lawn and chop down some of the five-foot weeds in one of their "gardens." Now, where is that shock collar?


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