Army of Mom

Kansas City, here I come

Yep. We're on our way. Anyone have any suggestions for local places to eat, have a beer and hang out? We like to hit the mom and pop places instead of the big chains. I'm jonesing for some KC BBQ and wanna know a great place to go.

Super Sunday

This was a great day for our family. Ok, other than Hot Rod had a soccer game at 7:42 a.m. *seriously, that was the start time on the schedule* And, it was in Dallas. Yuck. But, Army of Dad got a coaching fix in. The coach had a conflict and the coach he assigned to cover the game blew him off. Needless to say, our coach is pissed. But, AoD handled it well. I like our new uniforms, too.

On the way home, we went by the cool McDonalds that is shaped like a giant happy meal. You can't tell it as well in this picture, but from 635, it looks like a giant happy meal. The kids were more impressed with the rotating M just to the left of the image.

Then, we went to Waffle House for breakfast. Gotta love hash browns covered and chunked. :) Then, Little Bit went on a bike ride with her dad and brother jogging alongside. The only down side of the day? The Twins lost to the Rangers ... hard for me to enjoy the victory over the beloved Twinkies. *sigh*

Here comes the drum

Humming to the George Harrison tune, I keep singing "Here comes the sun" only changing one key word. This was the drum that my boy caught last week. He is really enjoying his dad's layoff, probably more than anyone because he has done lots of fishing. And, actually catching some, too!

Pork N Beans and Swimming

Nothing says summer fun like hot dogs, pork n beans and a swimming pool of British soccer coaches. Ok, the last part was the best part for me. :) Pickle loves him some baked beans. We never have them, so he was really excited to chow down on them at a cook out/swim party last week.

Little Bit made a friend at the pool party and then had great fun jumping in the pool. Doggie paddling to the stairs, getting out and doing it all over again. She felt very big.

And, Hot Rod couldn't let sister be the only one getting in on the action. Army of Dad spent much of the evening helping the host with the grill. Me? I was being paranoid overprotective mom and staying in or near the pool. For my kids, a swim party was a treat the they loved.

Goofy Goobers

Trying to do team pictures with nine goofy little 4-, 5- and 6-year-olds is like herding cats. No lie. This image was shot AFTER trying to get them all to sit still for just one click of the camera. Gees louise. This is about as still as they were the whole time.

The team divas. Little Bit and her buddy.

And, my honey and my Little Bit. Is that cute or what? So funny to see him with these little kids. He is much more patient with them than I am. For that, I am grateful.

And, the winner is ...

My sweet Pickle won an art contest at the local library. The goal is to promote the anime club with original artwork. He was pretty proud of himself.

One step forward, two steps back

My pity party keeps fluctuating from feeling upbeat and positive one moment to feeling like poop the next.

We had attended some sales pitch event to get a free trip to Vegas. We were supposed to go in February, but due to me being off by one day on the timing of the trip in my paperwork, they voided our trip.

I've wanted to see and do Vegas for about seven or eight years now. One of the things that has really drawn me to wanting to go has been the Star Trek: The Experience attraction. Well, looks like I'm going to miss out on that, too. It is closing in September.

Seems really silly, but I am so terribly disappointed right now. I really wanted to go. I've heard it is really cool.

Sending this one to Leno

The headline across the top of the local newspaper's sports page on Thursday:

Denton High's students, athletes shrinking

I cracked up at the image of the tiny students and athletes being shrunk by that goofy Moranis guy from "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" series of movies by Disney. The next thought was of the grandma from "Parenthood" when she sees her loser grandson and he tells her she looks shorter and she grumbles "I'M SHRINKING!" with his response, "bummer."

Anyway. In J-school, they teach you to think about what you write in literal terms, because someone else is going to do it that way. So, reading that headline made me squeal with laughter. Then, the dorky part of me starting thinking about a correct way to write the headline and illustrate that the number of students in the school is shrinking, not students shrinking.

Of course, then my pinball thinking led me to a favorite tune from "Parenthood." It is one I taught my children, much to Army of Dad's chagrin. The tune is Diarrhea.

One week later

Delayed a week in posting, but here are the FA Cup pictures from British Soccer camp last week. Hot Rod had a treat and went both in the morning and at night. That was really cool for a kid like him. Little Bit, on the other hand, prefers playing indoors where she is less likely to sweat and more likely to find shade. Both kids were on Chelsea in their age groups.

Little Bit's Chelsea team. The little gal who is posing was a hoot. She and the boy in yellow really didn't care about soccer. On Friday, the mini-campers got to dress their coaches, thus the big pacifier.

Yep, there he is striking a pose wearing my full slip, a Jessie the cowgirl had and vest, fairy wings and a boa.

The big Chelsea team.

The fire truck that came to hose the kids down. Yep. On Friday, the coach who loses the coaches' challenges all weeks gets wet. This year, one of the host families arranged to REALLY get the coach wet.

Here is the coach we hosted with Little Bit after some playing in the water.

And all my kids with the coach. Pickle elected NOT to get wet.

Here are the coaches doing a dance in the water coming from the fire engine hose. It was too much fun. I don't know how they can top that next year.

The boobs aren't in the bikinis

I find it funny that my honey was the one to send me the link to the story: "Science proves bikinis turn men into boobs". I think we all knew that, but this just sort of backs it up with scientific research - one-handed research in some of the instances. Seriously.

I find it funny in light of something that happened to my 13-year-old the other day. He's banned from using the laptop any more. For one thing, I can't see what he's doing when he uses it. Apparently, he found the naked buxom chick anime sites. He was sad at being caught, sad at being banned from the laptop and even sadder when he later told me "I don't know why I can't stop doing it!" Well, son, I told him, you're a 13-year-old boy. Its what you do. It is my job, however, to try and curb that curiosity. I didn't tell him that God only gave him - as a male - enough blood to operate one head at a time. He'll learn that soon enough, unfortunately.

Thanking God Three Years Later

Three years ago today my mom had her stroke. It was so scary. She has never been in good health and has always had a few screws loose, but it was the closest I can remember to really losing her. She had breast cancer when I was in college and that was pretty frightening, but nothing that came close to the stroke. She had open-heart surgery this past November. That was pretty terrifying for all of us, too. But, she came through with flying colors and feeling better. She had a few TIAs in the past few weeks, which makes me worry. I've been fussing at her to call the doctor. Don't know if she will or not.

This picture is Mom and Little Bit in Dallas behind the science museum in May. She has gotten more absent-minded, like walking in front of a car (with my daughter in tow) when we went to the museum that day. So, the days are dwindling, but I'm trying to make the most of them while I have them left. But, as she has told me for years - every time I worried about her - she is too mean to die. That may be true. :)

Sunglasses At Night

Surely I'm not the only one who starts singing this song every time the Brewers' Cory Hart makes a play in the All-Star game.

Only in my home

Nowhere else - or it is highly unlikely - are their couples debating over how many innings Cook pitched and who was the better closer for the Rangers - Jeff Russell or John Wetteland.

I won the round regarding the number of innings Cook pitched - 3.

Army of Dad won the round about Wetteland being the better reliever.

What an exciting game. Of course, I want it to be over so I can go to sleep. And, to think, I was sad that I missed the first six innings shopping at Wal-Mart. Hell, that was just the warm-ups.

P.S. I got my Rangers rally-cap out just in time for Michael Young (my team) to hit in Justin Morneau (AoD's team) for the winning run. 11 straight, baby.

The windshield wipers of my brain

Funny how a good cry can seem to clear my head. I'm glue. I have told you poor folks about that before. I'm the glue that holds my family of origin together. I have been for as long as I can remember. I feel that way, to a certain extent, about my Army of Mom family, too.

With that role, how can I break down and cry around others? I can't. I have to keep on smiling, keep on encouraging while assuring to everyone that things will turn out for the best.

Then, when I'm alone, the tears come to visit me. I fight them. The combat is pretty remarkable. No, I will not show weakness and cry. Nope, nope, nope. Ok, maybe a little. That's when my little Dutch boy pulls his finger from the dike (get your mind out of the gutter) and the waters start to flow.

This afternoon a local movie theater was running half-price matinee shows. So, Army of Dad took the boys to a movie. Little Bit is up in her room taking a nap and I'm left to my own devices. That includes writing a story due last Thursday and having a good cry.

What is really weird is how much clearer my head feels, as if a weight has been lifted from atop my head. Maybe I'll feel better now.

Big hitters

The kids and I stayed up late last night to watch the monstrous hits of the All-Star HomeRun Derby. We love to watch this every year. This year was especially exciting. Not only was Justin Morneau of the Twins in the action, but so was Josh Hamilton of the Rangers. For those who don't know, Army of Dad and Hot Rod are Twins fans and I'm a Rangers fan. So, it was awesome. Then, the hitting clinic that Josh ran was phenomenal. For Hot Rod, it was even better when Morneau won. Wow is all I can say about it all. Too cool.

Poor Poor Pitiful Me

Man, I am feeling this song right now. I don't really want to go into it all. But, I'm frustrated at the world. And people? Don't even get me started.

The M Word

It's harder than it looks! Courtesy of our former babysitter on MySpace.

Use the 1st letter of your LAST NAME (using Army of Mom) to answer each of the following... *they have to be real places, names, things...nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial

1. What is your last name?....................... Mom

2. 4 letter word............................................ most

3. Vehicle: .................................................... Malibu

4. City or State ............................................. Mobile

5. Boy Name: .............................................. Miles

6. Girl Name: ............................................... Molly

7. Occupation: ............................................. Mom

8. Something you wear:............................. mask

9. Food: ....................................................... Malt o Meal

10. Found in a bathroom:......................... medicine

11. Reason for Being Late........................ mumps

12. Something you shout......................... Momma Mia!

13. Animal:................................................... monkey

14. Body part:............................................. muscle

15. Describes yourself.................. maternal, mischievous, moody

Anybody else want to also avoid work and play?

How do I get here?

Sometimes, I feel very in control of my life. Other times - like right now - I am so helpless. I feel like a bystander in my own life. I'm just watching without any ability to make things work the way they're supposed to. Going through the motions. Yep, that describes it. I wish I could get to the point where I could hand things over to Jesus - to take the wheel - but I don't even know how to get to that place. I'm trying, but I can't loosen my grip on the wheel.

Moms

The first time I saw Tim Hawkins was when he did "Cletus Take the Reel" and I laughed so hard that I almost cried. This bit is particularly amusing to me because just last night, poor little Hot Rod was having really bad tummy pains. I was worried enough to call the doctor's after-hours nurse. But, my advice to my little punkin, go sit on the potty. So, in the midst of watching this bit today I had tears coming out of my eyes because I, apparently, am a true Southern mom. My parents used the term "pot" for toilet, too. I catch myself doing it from time to time. And, his "be careful" upon departing in a vehicle. Yep, guilty again as charged.

Kids' Rock

My sis-in-law (of whose birthday it is today - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!) sent me this link and I almost spit Diet Coke out on the monitor because it is so funny. Thing is, I might actually listen to this version of kiddie songs. :) Have a giggle and whatever you do, don't be drinking anything or you'll need a new keyboard.

Unhappy with 2nd Place

Hot Rod had a bonus camp this week with the Golden Goal camp in the evenings after his regular half-day camp in the mornings. He loved it. At the night camp, he was on the Wolves team. On Friday night, his team tied 1-1 and he scored the team's only goal. In the second game, his team won 3-1 and he scored all three of those goals.

Here is one of his shots going in.

Hot Rod taking the ball down the pitch.

With his Wolves team. The best player on the team didn't get to play on Friday because he was hurt. Not sure why he didn't get in the picture, though, since he was on the team. Hot Rod's uncertain expression is the result of his team finishing second in the FA Cup competition. He was really hoping to win since his team was pretty decent.

However, the sting of defeat was numbed when he participated in dousing Coach Bammers with ice cold water for losing the coaches' challenge.

Working the catwalk

Thursday at soccer camp, the campers were encouraged to "dress their coaches" however they wished. We had lots of fairy wings and tutus among other lovely touches, as well. This little lovely is the cutie patootey coach who stayed with us this week.

Last night, the coaches went out with the dads who hosted them. Only when Army of Dad showed up at the tavern to meet up with the guys, they were all wearing women's tank tops and fishnet hose. For real. The funniest part is that it didn't hurt their play at all. The chicks were still talking to them and enamored by the great accents.

These are a few of my favorite things

I was looking around on the MySpace page of a friend who has a band. I've made it to his front page of cute girls and hot chicks. I feel very special. So, I'm searching around to the cute girls on there to see their pages. One girl's main picture shows her and another blonde in their bikinis. I went to her page and under her "general interests" entry is this:

Sunshine, Rainbows, sandals, thunderstorms, coffee, cats, listening to the waves at the beach, bubblebaths, jogging, new shoes, laughing til it hurts, long talks with my mom, any food made by my dad, trying new things, cheese, reminissing, my life right now, cars, relaxing at home, designing, collecting funky earrings, Starbucks, smiling, hugging someone I love, writing my thoughts down on paper, cars, listening to music while i fall asleep, getting a pedicure, going to vegas, mexico, mountain dew, Victoria's Secret, MTV, Dallas Cowboys, Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, ebay, homeade ice cream, pickles, being nude, birds, xm radio, fine wine, long hot showers, flowers, taking pictures.

Oh gees, I'm cracking up. This is exactly how she had it written, misspelled words and random capitalization and everything. I'm most impressed that she likes to write *insert girlish giggle here* and ice cream and pickles are close together by nude. If she is nude often enough, she may crave ice cream and pickles. *snickering*

Honestly, I like most of those things, too. The thing is, I don't think I'd take the time to write them all down like that. What would be fun, though, would be to have the time to think of all those things I like. Hmmm *scratching chin* maybe I'll do that now.

Things that I like that aren't affiliated with motherhood:

Going to movies, live music, Robin Williams, soft kisses, long drives, XM Radio, FC Dallas, peppermint mocha, wi-fi, Caption This, Harry Potter, Cristiano Ronaldo, Sex on the Beach drinks, Matchbox 20, Bellinis, the Dallas Cowboys, Project Runway, candles, Cosmpolitans, Chevelle, long hot baths, Texas Ranger baseball, hot tubs, Carlos Bocanegra, gardening, sleeping in, Diet Cokes with easy cherry at Sonic, reading, CSI, Law & Order, cheese enchiladas, Nathan Fillion, getting my hair done, my Josh Hamilton tank top, jewelry, Kasey Kahne, Lord of the Rings, museums, smutty novels, taking pictures, making friends, hanging out, comedy clubs, red toe nail polish, surfing the web, staying in a hotel with my husband *wink*, shoes that fit, young men in baseball pants and my "I Club Hippies" shirt from Ranger Up.

There are so many more, but those are the things that came to mind immediately. :) Now, I know you'll sleep better knowing all those things.

From Guns to Fairy Wings

Only the lads from across the pond would be secure enough in their manhood to let their campers dress them in fairy wings, tutus and pimp hats. But, this is the highlight of the week for many of us. I had to get the nail polish remover out for the coach staying with us. Some girls grabbed him and painted his fingernails pink. Poor fella, but they take it in great stride and work it.

Excuse me, whilst I whip dis out

This was one of the best parts of having the Brits shooting on Wednesday. The guy at the gun range brought out his own 1911 Ed Brown custom .45 ACP (automatic colt pistol) and then a 357 Magnum Colt Python revolver (the big fucking silver gun shown in the video.) It was fabulous. The guys LOVED shooting it and watching them was classic.

I emailed Kim DuToit the pictures from the shoot and I believe his exact description of me was a "dumb tart" for not inviting him along. I encouraged Army of Dad to call him, but it was pretty last minute planning, so I think he assumed Kim was too busy a man to tag along. So, in effect, he threw his dumb tart wife under the bus.

Shooting spree

On Wednesday afternoon, Army of Dad took four of the British Soccer camp coaches to Quail Creek Gun Range for an afternoon of shooting. These guys had never even seen a handgun up close, let alone fire one. So, here they are getting warmed up with a one-finger salute to everyone's least favorite terrorist. Yep, they all got Osama targets to shoot at.

I swear my house isn't located in Ruby Ridge. It just sort of looks that way from time to time. Only thing I can say is that bad guys would be really stupid to try a home invasion on our house.

Here is a sampling of our firearms that we brought for the guys to use. Army of Dad gave them some safety instructions and then we were on the way to shooting. Here, Coach Yam Yam starts off with Army of Dad's newest acquisition, a .22 caliber Browning handgun.

The guys had

four different .22 caliber rifles to choose from. One was a Christmas gift to our boys; the other three were handed down to Army of Dad from his 85-year-old paternal grandfather in Minnesota (the pump action was made in 1935 and belonged to AoD's great-grandfather originally).

This is the coach staying with us this week. He's shooting Army of Dad's .40 caliber Smith and Wesson. We were thrilled to get to treat these guys to the shooting range experience. Our coach told us last night that shooting was the highlight of his time in the states. That is high praise and we're happy to have given them that opportunity.

Coach A shooting a 1911 Ed Brown custom .45 ACP (automatic colt pistol) that belonged to the range guy working at Quail Creek Gun Range. He was pretty nice to let them experience the gun. I was jealous and wanted to fondle the trigger with some ammo in there. But, alas, was not to be.