Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Middle Aged Mardi Gras Mommas

This is what happens when your mom goes to Mardi Gras.

Lawyer season opens

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A White House source stated that Congress is considering awarding Vice President DickCheney the Medal of Freedom, the national highest civilian commendation, for his act of bravery in shooting an attorney.

The source was quoted to say, "All Americans have wanted to shoot a lawyer at one time or another, and Cheney actually had the balls to do it."

In a related story, the Texas Department of Parks and Wildlife, which issues hunting licenses, said that it will start requiring hunters wishing to bag a lawyer to have the new "lawyers' stamp" on their hunting licenses. Currently, Texas hunters are required to carry stamps for hunting birds, deer and feral hogs, at a cost of $7 annually. The new "lawyers' stamp" will cost $100, but open season will be all year long.

The department further stated that although the "lawyers' stamp" comes at hefty price, sales have been brisk and it is believed it will generate revenue in excess of $3 billion the first year. Other states are considering similar hunting license stamps.

Hunters with the "lawyers' stamp" will have to keep in mind the fair chase provisions of lawyer hunting. No hunting within 100 yards of a traffic accident or job injury site, as this is considered hunting using a baited field.

Hot Rod's addiction

Hot Rod is home sick today and I know he is REALLY sick because I told him if he is too sick for school, then he is going to have to miss soccer and tee-ball tonight AND miss pizza at school! We're going to the doctor this afternoon to make sure he doesn't have the flu. Apparently, there is some Rx you can get to help shorten the duration and the severity of the flu if you catch it in the first couple of days. When he got up this morning I took his temp and it was 101 under his tongue. So, after giving him some ibuprofen, now it is down to 98. But, we get to take his temp every five minutes because he loves to do it, for some reason. I finally hid the thermometer. Then he found another one. Then, he found the ear thermometer. Maybe I should get out a rectal thermometer and threaten him with that before he wants to take his temp again. I can see his adulthood now:

Entering a room with a group of people seated in a circle.
Hot Rod: Hi, my name is Hot Rod.
Group: Hi Hot Rod.
Hot Rod: I'm here because, well, I'm an addict.
Group moderator: Good job Hot Rod. That is the first step in recovery. Go on.
Hot Rod: See, I'm hooked on taking my temperature. It started off with the oral thermometer and then I moved on to the ear version. Now, I just can't seem to stop. I use any kind of device I can to take my temp. I just wanted to get help before I moved to the rectal thermometer.

*shaking my head*

Fat Tuesday

Today is Fat Tuesday and Lent starts Wenesday. I may be a pretty raucous and raunchy gal with a potty mouth and an out-of-control libido, but when it comes to my faith I am pretty devout. The Easter season is one filled with wonders and blessings beyond belief. It is a reminder of the sacrifices Christ made for us and a learning experience as we deny ourselves small pleasures to appreciate Christ giving his life for us. We've all seen the email that goes around telling the story of a pandemic that infects everyone and that one child holds the cure for the world, but he has to die so that the cure can be distributed to the world. The little boy is willing, but his parents are torn. Who of us is loving enough to give up our own child so others can live? I don't know that I would be willing to do it.

Fat Tuesday *which is Mardis Gras in French* offers us a last chance to celebrate one last time before we mark Lent with Ash Wednesday.

As Pickle gets ready for his first confession and communion in anticipation of his officially joing in the church at the Easter Vigil, this season is especially meaningful for me. Pickle is a candidate, since he has been baptized. Those who haven't been baptized are catechumens, just FYI as you read the next part. Those who haven't been baptized and want to join the Catholic faith, will get baptized, too, during the Easter vigil.

I found this info and thought it was good background on Lent and the Easter season:

The Second Vatican Council (1962-65) called for the renewal of Lent, recovering its ancient baptismal character. This recovery was significantly advanced by the restoration of the catechumen mandated by the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (1972). As Catholics have increasingly interacted with catechumens in the final stage of their preparation for Baptism, they have begun to understand Lent as a season of baptismal preparation and baptismal renewal.
Since Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent, it naturally is also beginning to recover a baptismal focus. One hint of this is the second formula that is offered for the imposition of ashes: "Turn away from sin and be faithful to the gospel." Though it doesn't explicitly mention Baptism, it recalls our baptismal promises to reject sin and profess our faith. It is a clear call to conversion, to that movement away from sin and toward Christ that we have to embrace over and over again through our lives.
As the beginning of Lent, Ash Wednesday calls us to the conversion journey that marks the season. As the catechumens enter the final stage of their preparation for the Easter sacraments, we are all called to walk with them so that we will be prepared to renew our baptismal promises when Easter arrives.

I think Pickle is just happy to know that he gets to miss soccer practice so we can go to mass Wednesday evening. He's 11 after all.

I can smell it

Can't you? It's baseball. It is in the air and it is kicking into spring training pre-season games starting Thursday for the Rangers.

To steal a line from the Harry Carey skit on WBAP this morning:

We're going from Fat Tuesday to Suck Thursday.


Someday my Rangers will do something other than suck.


No penis ala Lorena microwaved, after all

Well, it seems the microwaved penis story wasn't real, but unlike the finger in the Wendy's chili, this was a case of mistaken identity by the convenience store clerk.

Turns out that the clerk was heating up a penis pee-keeper prosthetic thingee that helps stupid people pass drug tests. Apparently, the clerk saw what looked like a severed dick. I'm guessing this clerk has no dildos or vibrators to help her distinguish between silicone and the real thing. Also, the author of the headline on the yahoo story doesn't know the different between a sex toy and the pee-keeper thing. Trust me, I've never seen a toy that anything - pee or elsewise - comes out of it.


Which sci-fi crew would you be in?

Which sci-fi crew would you be in?

You scored as Babylon 5 (Babylon 5). The universe is erupting into war and your government picks the wrong side. How much worse could things get? It doesn't matter, because no matter what you have your friends and you'll do the right thing. In the end that will be all that matters. Now if only the Psi Cops would leave you alone.

Babylon 5 (Babylon 5)


Serenity (Firefly)


Deep Space Nine (Star Trek)


Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica)


Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda)


Moya (Farscape)


FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files)


Enterprise D (Star Trek)


Bebop (Cowboy Bebop)


Millennium Falcon (Star Wars)


Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix)


SG-1 (Stargate)


Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics)
created with

I find this weird. I only watched Babylon 5 a few times. *shrug*

Home Improvement Sunday

Usually, this time of year, we have soccer all weekend. The boys play on Saturday and my dear husband refs soccer games on Saturday if his schedule allows and then refs at least two or three games on Sundays. The rain left our fields soggy, so no games at all this weekend.

Today, though, was BEAUTIFUL. Temps in the upper 60s or so. Beautiful sunshine. Don't know what got into his brain, but Army of Dad turned into Tim The Toolman Taylor today. Complete with the grunts of power. He wanted to work on the house.

So, we got a new fixture for our front porch to replace the hideously ugly thing that came with the house. I'm sure I have a pic of it somewhere. Gag. And, we FINALLY got a ceiling fan on the back porch. I have given my husband large rations of shit for that one. We took down the old light fixture (because it was ugly) and had planned to put a ceiling fan out there back in August 2001. Well, one thing led to another and we never got around to putting any sort of lights back up there. Till today, that is. It took us a couple of hours because he had to cut a hole and put in this brace thing that took the most time, then we had to figure out the wiring because it was all jacked up. Just lots of issues, but we finally got it done. We had saw dust all over us, but we did it. And our marriage survived, too.

Here is our new front porch light fixture. I think it is cute.

And, yes our house is dark green with beige trim. Very preppy. I love it. Here is our new back porch ceiling fan.

It was exhausting and time consuming, but the house looks nice. We're hoping to get new flooring in the kitchen, dining area, office/den and master bathroom with our tax refund. Woo hoo. Sorry for the boring blog entry. This was my Sunday other than mass.

Speaking of mass, this morning Pickle was presented to the community with the other candidates and catechumates for the Rite of Election. He is going through RCIC (Rite of Christian Initiation for Children) because I was derelict in my duties of taking him to CCD for the past few years. Plus, I honestly didn't think he was mature enough to appreciate the sacraments. So, this was the best way to get him adequately prepared for his first confession and communion. I have to say that I cried. He is growing up so fast. He teased me about that. He turned around and said "You're crying, aren't you? I knew it."

Would anyone expect any less from me?

Another sad loss

For the second consecutive day, acting lost another good one.

As one of the major players in one of my favorite all-time movies, Darren McGavin - the dad in A Christmas Story - died Saturday.

He uttered some of the best movie lines of all time.


Will write for food: it's a joke, people

I think there are some people out there who don't realize the "will work for food" sign is just a joke. While scanning writing opportunities across the country, I see DAILY many job posts wanting writers to work for free *we almost do that now* or they want you to write a 500-word story for $8.

My favorite tonight:
"I'm not looking for professionals, just someone who wants to write a small ORIGINAL article about any of these subjects. Articles should be between 200-600 words. Payment per article: 200-300 words $5.00ea 300-400 words $8.00ea 400-600 words $10ea."

I almost laughed out loud. I don't think you need to worry about getting too many professionals biting on that one, bud. I hate to break it to you. Setting that bar low is a good idea.

Doogal: AKA Don't-gal

Three words for you if you decide to go see Doogal: DON'T DO IT!!!

I guess if you like weird-ass British comedy, maybe it would be tolerable, but I'm really thinking not. It had potential, but it was just lame. The jokes were stupid and Army of Dad an I think we lost IQ points while we were there. Seriously.

I think maybe had we dropped some acid before we went that it might have made it better, too. And, that is from the last two adults on the face of the planet who never toked, inhaled, snorted, whatever, anything. No one believes us when we tell them that we've never done any kind of drugs, but that is how bad this movie is. We might have considered doing some.

The kids enjoyed it and we had buy one, get one free tickets we used. So, at least we didn't spend that $8.

I thought the movie might be ok because of all the voice talent, but even they couldn't save this travesty disguised as a movie. I'm going to take a hot bath to wash off the suck.

One of comedy's greats is gone

One of my childhood comedy favorites died Friday. Don Knotts had movies that I loved from the Incredible Mr. Limpett to the Apple Dumpling Gang. It is pretty sad to know he is gone.

Extra mustard on that weiner?

Talk about a whole new facet to a hot dog.

One of my blog faithfuls sent me a link to a story about a man who was heating up a severed dick in a convenience store microwave. The offensive odor caused the clerk to go look in there and see it. At least we know cooked penis isn't a tasty smell. Might be like tripe. That shit stinks to high heaven when it is being boiled. I don't see how Mexicans eat that. If it smells that bad, what MUST it taste like? *shuddering * Same for severed penis. Although, if the guy was a bit on the ripe side himself, think about it. A smelly guy's dick has to smell EXTRA bad. I hope he scrubbed it before trying to cook and eat it.

I wonder if it was the guy's own penis? They found blood in the bathroom. Gives a whole new meaning to "eat it, buddy!"

Unfortuantely, I have no pictures for this one.


How to cure a drought

We should have simply started soccer season early. It never fails that it rains like hell whenever we start soccer. Supposedly we will have a soccer game or two on Saturday morning. I think not.

How low can you go?

I know more than a few guys who'd shoot a load on this gal's face.

Apparently Oprah isn't happy just giving out her favorite things at Christmas. Now, she is talking to sluts who give it away and apparently like it sort of sloppy, too. I know guys who have tried to tell women of the benefits of this to their skin, too.

Look who's going after the ratings ...

What would the Wright brothers think?

Check out these cool new aircraft. One is the child of my hometown folks and the other may be like the
cruise ship on the way to Flotsam Paradise from Fifth Element.

Till death do us part - and that might be longer than originally thought

Long-term studies have shown that married people live longer.

I know, I know, you just thought it FELT like forever living with your significant other. Odds are, you'll live longer. You'll only wish you had died sooner.

I live on Psycho Path

Sent to me by RC. Thanks dude.

Psycho Path named wackiest street name
Associated Press Feb. 24, 2006 02:06 PM
LOS ANGELES - Farfrompoopen Road, the only road to Constipation Ridge, lost to Divorce Court and Psycho Path, which placed No. 1 in an online poll of the nation's wildest, weirdest and wackiest street names.

Mitsubishi Motors sponsored the poll on the Web site and more than 2,500 voters cast their ballots during a week of voting that ended this month. Winners were announced Friday.

"Our readers really stepped up with some insane street names," said Web site publisher Paul Eisenstein. "Our panel had a difficult time narrowing several hundred down to the 10 our readers voted on.

"But we learned a lot about the byways of this country, not to mention the collective sense of humor of city planners everywhere."

In first place was Psycho Path in Traverse City, Mich., followed by Heather Highlands, Pa.'s, Divorce Court in second and Tennessee's Farfrompoopen Road in third. Eisenstein said all the roads were verified, although some are private and hard to find.

The complete top 10 list included:
10. Tater Peeler Road in Lebanon, Texas
9. The intersection of Count and Basie in Richmond, Va.
8. Shades of Death Road in Warren County, N.J.
7. Unexpected Road in Buena, N.J.
6. Bucket of Blood Street in Holbrook
5. The intersection of Clinton and Fidelity in Houston
4. The intersection of Lonesome and Hardup in Albany, Ga.
3. Farfrompoopen Road in Tennessee (the only road up to Constipation Ridge)
2. Divorce Court in Heather Highlands, Pa.
1. Psycho Path in Traverse City, Mich.

Interesting read

I saw this story in our local paper today about how a Catholic church in Egypt was targeted by "jihadis" because they hadn't gotten some sort of building permit, that apparently is next to impossible to get in the mostly Muslim-ran country.

Makes me grateful to live in a country where we have freedom to worship wherever we please. Apparently, there it isn't allowed to have worship services in your own home. That is very sad.

Bronze hotties

This Hottie of the Week entry goes to a team: the US men's curling team.

Our US Men's curling team brought home the bronze for the first US curling medal ever. AoD and I got the curling bug during the last winter Olympics and I've been watching curling every morning on USA when its been on. Pretty fun. Reminds me of marbles like I played as a kid.

We're going to Minnesota this summer for a family reunion and vacation, we may have to make a detour to Dave's Pizza in Bemidji to meet Pete Fenson. How cool would that be?

There are three single guys on the curling team, ladies.

I love the intensity. Wonder if these guys "sweep" at home, too? I sort of doubt it.

I thought the shot below was neat.

Discussing strategy.

Enjoy ladies. More beefcake next week.

Feel good story

I sense a made-for-TV movie or a Hallmark channel movie out of this one.

An autistic boy who served as the team manager for the varsity baseketball team gets to suit up at the last game and scored 20 points.

Get your hankies out and read the feel-good story.

Every once in a while, my faith in humanity is restored.

SPF: Bedside Manner

Ok, I'm stupid. Random and Odd moved her blog and made a special section for SPF, where she posted the assignment. I was grumbling last night to my honey that I hate having to wait until Friday morning to find the assignment, grumble, grumble. And, it was there the whole time. *doh*

SO, here it is. Late. But, here.

Feb 24th, 2006 - Bedside Manner
1.the inside of your nightstand drawer
2.a good book you’ve read
3. your favorite lamp

I don't have a nightstand drawer. This is Army of Dad's. I put stuff in it all the time, though. The nightstand was the only thing I got from my paternal grandmother's home after she died.

You can see stuff I've put in there. A Dear Abby I wanted him to read. There is a little yellow "erotic positions book" I got out of a bathroom vending machine on our honeymoon, too, in the top right corner. The "young man's guide to sexuality" I wanted him to read before I gave it to Pickle to help him understand what is going on with his body. Then, there is some cop thing, I"m not sure what it is. Some space shuttle patches his mom sent us. Some shotgun shells, a golf ball, the Spongebob pens that were in his Christmas stocking and THAT is where the marks-a-lot has been!

A good book. Hmm. Last good books I read were the Chronicles of Narnia and Pickle has them in his room. So, how about the books I'm reading now?

Notice the bookmark in each one? I keep stopping and starting the books. The 1-2-3 is obvious. I only dig it out when I need a refresher and fear that I may sell the children to gypsies if I dont' get them under control. Close Range has the Brokeback Mountain story in it. I spilled a soda on it the other day and had to wait for it to dry out. Finding Serenity is a collection of essays on various aspects of Firefly and it is interesting, but I keep misplacing the book and still haven't finished it.

My favorite lamp is a cheapie from Ikea. It just really helps illuminate our office/family room.

My favorite light fixture is over our dining room table. We lived for years with the ugly wanna-be chandelier swag thing that came with this house. This one looks so much nicer. I still hate the popcorn ceilings. Whose idea were those? Eww.

Go play.



I've just been blah all day. I'm not real sure where the day went either. We ran lots of errands - bank, post office, pharmarcy, grocery store, bread store, post office again because I forgot to drop off bills in the mailbox (we have LOTs of mail theft in North Texas from mailboxes, so no bills go in there for me). Then, I had a few phone interviews.

Spent a few hours on job boards today. Cruising for Army of Dad and finding some for me and Uzz along the way, too.

Talked with a friend who had a court date today for child support and her teenaged son went to live with this dad. So, it was crappy for her.

Took Pickle to tennis and he did well. That was good. Hot Rod is singing at school today. Being all PMSy, I'm sure I'll be in tears while I watch him. Army of Dad is going to a baseball meeting. Yes, he has been roped into coaching tee-ball, too. He had said he'd be an assistant. Well, they didn't have enough, so he's up to bat, so to speak. I hate that he is going to miss Hot Rod singing. I'll take pictures. I know you're surprised.

I wish I could quit you

Wow. Some dude paid more than $100,000 for the Brokeback Mountain shirts that signified the relationship of Jack and Ennis: Cowboy style, dirty and bloody.


That is just a weird purchase to me. Wish I just had $100,000 lying around. Would be nice to pay off some bills, travel, whatever. Buying two movie shirts would so not be at the top of my list. Maybe buying some time with the actors, hmm, that sounds better. Both of them at the same time? A LOTR or Star Trek uniform with the actors inside also sounds pretty tasty. Anyone wanna loan me $100,000?


Love connection

Ok, I know this is goofy, but it just struck me as very peculiar. A friend sent me a link to find the No. 1 song on the day you were born.

Here is mine:
"Hey Jude" by The Beatles
and here is Army of Dad's:
"Silly Love Songs" by Paul McCartney & Wings

Both McCartney songs ... isn't that sort of weird? Not like we were born in consecutive years or anything either. I love McCartney anyway. Now I love him even more.

Happy First Anniversary

It is hard for me to believe that my beloved Kat - lover of all things non-traditional - is a Mrs. and survived marital bliss for a year now. I like this guy and I'm pretty hard to please when it comes to the men who take care of the women in my life. He is considerate, witty, smart and responsible. He also loves LabKat unconditionally, so that makes him pretty darn special in my book.

So, while she won't post a wedding pic, I will. Just to embarrass her further.

Happy Anniversary.

Earning his man card early

Looks like my boy is going for his man card early in life. Check out what he's checking out in this picture.


Some people really piss me off

I don't care what someone's opinions about homosexuals or the war is - there has got to be some respect for the dead and the mourning.

Apparently, there is a group of bikers who travel around the country to help protect military families from encountering these bigots who protest military funerals trying to claim that IEDs are God's revenge for a the US "embracing" a homosexual society.


I hope that I never encounter these people anywhere. I think I'd flip out on them. To have no more respect for mourning families. If you look at the picture with the story, you'll see kids in there protesting. So, these turdballs are teaching this to their children, too. I find that appalling, too.

Scotty goes where few men have gone before

A private company is sending James Doohan's ashes into space. I think that is cool. Scotty, an astronaut and many others will have their ashes launched into space next month.

Rest in space, Scotty.

I don't get it

I'm nothing if not unusual.

I tend to lean toward conservative political views, but I'm fairly open minded socially. I also believe children deserve the best chances they have to grow up in supportive, loving homes. To tht end, I don't see the big deal over allowing gays to adopt or be foster parents if there are not "traditional" homes available to children in need. There are plenty of shitty straight parents out there, so why not let gay couples give it a shot? I don't get the big deal. No it isn't my ideal, but then again, neither are homes with slutty moms who parade men in and out or traditional couple homes with parents who hate each other.

We're not the only ones

My anal-retentive husband has to fold his toilet paper and he is frugal even in the use of it.

Me, on the other hand *this entry is full of bad puns, sorry* I just to use the pull and wad in a semi-orderly fashion for what I use to clean my hiney with.

We have actually gotten into arguments over my toilet paper use. Seriously. It is my coup de gras to pull out in a pinch *see what I mean about the puns?* when I'm bitching about how he likes things done a certain way. I like to think of him as OCD-light.

Apparently, we're not the only ones to argue over TP *for my bunghole as Cornholio would say*.

My loving husband sent me the story of the murder committed over toilet paper. He included this explanation: "See I only fuss at you, it is worse for some people."

From the mouths of babes

While cooking dinner last night, Stinkerbelle kept appealing to me to get her a blanket. (After all, 35 degrees outside is like living in the Arctic Circle for Texans). There was a blanket spread out in the floor in the front room where kids had been laying on it the day before, so I told her to gather up the blanket there and use it.

Here is the exchange between mom and 3-year-old:

Little Bit: Where? I don't see it.
AoM: Right there in the middle of the floor.
Little Bit: I don't see it.
AoM: Honey *getting exasperated as I'm trying to get food ready before soccer practice* it is right there in the floor.
Little Bit: Moooooom, there's no blanket and I'm coooooold!
AoM: Goddoggit, Stinkerbelle. If it was a snake it would bite you. It's RIGHT THERE!
Little Bit: *looking quizzical as she looks around the room* Momma, there is no snake in here.
AoM: *shaking my head and chuckling* Pickle, go find the blanket for your sister.

Yet another sad trial

A Fort Worth man is going on trial this week for killing a pregnant woman and her first-grader son. Another senseless tragedy.

The full story may require a free online registration. But, it is interesting enough to make it worth signing up.


Freegan = dumbass

I mean that with the best of intentions.

But, if you choose to eat out of the trash as a "political statement" then you have issues.

Swear to God I'm not making this up. Makes being a furry look a whole lot more normal to you now, doesn't it? They're have a meetup in 15 days. *scratching chin* What am I doing in 15 days? Wonder if they have any meetings in Dallas ...

Let the love flow

It is amazing at what random things will bring back memories and make me cry.

Tonight, we were escaping ice dancing on the olympics *ptooey* and wandered over to American Chopper to watch them build a bike for a fan. This guy had to sell his chopper to pay for his mom's cancer treatments.

Big tears began running down my cheeks. Army of Dad chuckled at me. He thinks it is funny when I get weepy over touching stories. But, that isn't why I was crying. Yeah, it is really sweet and dear of this man to give up one of his most prized possessions to care for his momma.

I was crying because it brought back memories of childhood. When I had cancer, my folks had no medical insurance on me at the time. My dad owned a small convenience store and didn't carry insurance on a healthy 6-year-old girl. What was the worst that could happen? She's break an arm or get strep throat. Not too expensive. He didn't count on me developing a rare fast-acting cancer. Dad sold his motorboat, his motorcycle and I think one of our cars. He did all that to pay for my treatment. My parents did without so my brother and I could have good lives.

It is funny, because just the other day I was expressing my regret for not being firmer with Pickle when he was small. He was just so sick and fragile for the first three years of his life. But, I should have known better. I remembered something I heard my mom telling another mom at the hospital once. I had just gotten in trouble for doing something and I was crying. The mom asked her how she could be so harsh when I was dying. I vividly recall hearing her say, "As long as she is living in this world, no one is going to cut her slack for being sick. So she needs to know how to live like the rest of us and that means behaving." She did me the biggest favor she could have.

I just hope I'm half the parents they are and that I've learned from their mistakes and impoved on them. I truly hope my parents know how much I love and apprecite them. I hope my children know how blessed they are to have them for grandparents.

Mooooove it

I found a new place to frolic and giggle. The website, itself, proclaims to be the "guaranteed quickest daily waste of time on the web."

So, go visit Street Cow. I added him to my links list.

I love these jabs at David Gregory's expense.


Can't say more than this

He loves me. I will take that as a compliment. The whole plural thing, well, he IS a man. It is in their jeans, er, genes.


Don't scare me like that

I am on the MSNBC news alert thingee for my email. So, I get news alerts when something big (and sometimes not so big like a B list celeb dying, but that is another story) happens.

I get this one this morning as I open up my email:
Red Cross estimates 200 people dead, 1,500 missing in landslide in Philippines

No big deal you say. Well, my father-in-law is laid up in the hospital in Manila after having surgery to amputate some of his big toe. Apparently he is diabetic and hasn't known it and he has had a wound on this toe for around a year now. After a few surgeries and lots of treatment, it developed gangrene and had to go. But, I digress.

I go look at the dateline on the story and it says MANILA and I'm frantically dialing the wrong number for my mother-in-law to try to find out what she knows. I keep dialing the wrong number. Take some deep breaths and go look at where, precisely, the landslide occurred. After typing with some difficulty, I find the story and discover the landslide is on an island more than 400 miles from Manila.

*insert deep relief sigh here*

All I could think is that I want to be armed with all information before I call Army of Dad and tell him what has happened. It is still tragic for those people who are dead or who lost everything, but my little piece of the world is safe from what I can tell. Selfish, yes. Human, yes, too.

SPF: In all your glory

This week's assignment for Random and Odd's Stuff Portrait Friday is "in all your glory" week. You're not allowed to go clean under your bed to make it look all nice. You're not allowed to scrape the black crap on the bottom of your pans either. This is about who you REALLY all your glory.


Under my bed has been a big-time storage spot for me, although I cleared out many things after we broke our bed last year. I did have a lot of picture frames under there and I broke most of the glass when the bed broke. This is my side of the bed. There is a pillow for which I've been planning on making a slip cover for more than a couple of years and an empty box that I'm planning on putting some sewing stuff in.

You can see AoD's repair work where we broke the bed. There lighter 2x2 wood there and you can see the snaggly wood on the edge of the side rail there.

AoD's side of the bed. A gun case and a box for the boys' .22 rifle. There are some spare blankets behind them. Our stereo is a hand-me-down from my friend, RC. He gave me a few cool things when he moved to Arizona. The stereo is one of them. He says I have to give it back when he returns to Texas or asks for it. Till then, we' re caring for it.

The stereo sits on the matching dresser to our antique bed. We really don't have two phones either. Neither line is plugged in. Pics of the kids, one of AoD when he was a little guy and you can see the photo booth pics of me and AoD on the mirror. Hey, look, there is me in the mirror.

My pots and pans. I really need to find a way to organize them better.

Go play and have fun.

Going Italian for the hottie

Italian Armin Zoeggler won the first gold for Olympics host country Italy in the luge. He could luge me anytime he pleased.

Getting in the game. Looks a bit intense here.

It is almost too easy to make a comment about this one.

I like him smiling.

Oh my. He looks nice in a baseball hat, too.

Enjoy ladies!


Hottie of the week candidate

This is my R rated hottie of the week candidate. Since I can't post the pic on my blog - this is a relatively PG13 rated blog, so I'll link to North Dallas Thirty's cute little tush.

Stinkerbelle's Valentine

I love Little Bit's preschool. She doesn't go to school on Tuesdays, but we went for her party and she had a ball. They had cookies, so what's not to love?

It was circle time when we arrived.

snack time is even better. I have a small mom crush on the male teacher at school. There is something incredibly sexy about men who take good care of children. This kid is super sweet and he is so good with the kids. I think it is good for the kids, too, to have that male role model in a caretaker position, too.

Little Bit chowed her cookie and wanted another. There is her little buddy, MM, too.

These two were cutting a rug. The one kid hadn't peed, that is juice on his lap. It was fun and candy-filled, so my daughter was thrilled.

Hans or Gretchen?

Ok, I've never been one to miss a joke about beefed up girls who look like men. I usually say these women wear comfortable shoes (thanks to Robin Williams for that joke), but it is hard to tell the women from the men amongst the German speed skaters. You have to admit, it takes you a minute to tell them apart.


In my car CD player now

I highly recommend The Legend of Johnny Cash. I got this for $10 at Target on Tuesday. It was a Valentine for me and Army of Dad. He loves Johnny Cash's version of Hurt by NIN. It really is very soulful.

I really like Get Rhythm. The CD has 21 tracks. Not a bad buy.

Muy frio futbol

Hot Rod's soccer team played in the local pre-season warm-up *bad choice of words of that day* tournament. The boys did pretty well considering they were once again a team of largely 6-year-olds playing 7- and 8-year-olds. It is just the way the tournaments work. There are more boys under 8 teams than boys under 7, so they play in the same bracket.

What made this tournament worse was that it was freaking windy as hell with a wind chill of about 21 degrees. Add to that, it was about 70 just two days earlier and you'll find out why I was a momsicle on the soccer fields.
Hot Rod plays keeper about half the game. Here is he making a save.

He was bundled up pretty good, looking like the michelin man.

He was a bit of a fashion nightmare, but that's ok. He was warm. Check out the parents on the opposite side of the field trying to stay warm.

We were all wusses, that is just the way it is. Texans are not used to this. Here are our parents.

The concession stand behind us didn't help because the wind was coming out of the other direction. Below is Pickle all bundled up under the quilt with his gameboy. Fortunately, I had taken Stinkerbelle to stay with my parents on Saturday.

A very cold AoM.

The boys played like champs, though. Gotta break 'em of the bunch ball, though. They do pretty good at times, but then forget and bunch up. Look how much taller the yellow team is than our silver boys!

Hot Rod and his teammates aren't intimidated by the big guys either. Below, Hot Rod is running to get in front of No. 7 nd cut him off. Pretty smart move.

Looking at him in the pic below, he looks like he is sizing the kid up. Scary.

at one point in the game, Hot Rod starts yelling "Hey, he called me a bad name!" He's trying to get the ref to get the kid in trouble, we're telling him to ignore it and keep playing, but he is worked up over this. At the end of the quarter, he comes over and Coach AoD asks him what the kid called him. "He called me a Maniac!" Oh well, AoD replied, he wasn't far off the mark! One of the moms and me both cracked up. Hot Rod didn't think it was funny.

Then, there was this parasailing jackass that distracted me for a bit. AoD didn't see it, which suprised me. But, this gives you an indication of how windy it was. They set up a tent to block the wind off their other children, presumably and just took it down and sailed away with it.

After the game, the boys got medals for participating. Here Hot Rod is knighted.

And, the cold team. The boy in the yellow hood is our assistant coach. He is the big brother to a pair of borthers we have on the team.

I think I may be nuts, but Friday night, I'm taking Stinkerbelle and Hot Rod to see Chicken Little and we're taking the two little boys on the left with us.

You gotta be kidding

The cost of suck just went up.

I can't freaking believe it, but the Rangers raised ticket prices.

Uh, yeah, cuz they're soooo good. Hell, we can barely afford to go to games and we only make a few a season because of the high costs. We usually go when we get free tickets and then infrequently other than that, which is a shame because both Army of Dad and myself are serious baseball fans.

As the bowel turns

No one will ever accuse me of having an elitist blog with titles like this one.

But, it has happened for the third or fourth time in my 37 years of existence. I'm clogged up *if you know what I mean* and I'm hating life.

I had such bad pain in my lower left groin that I spent Valentine's evening at the gynecologist's office getting an exam because I thought I had an ovarian cyst that was rupturing. Turns out that my bowels are inflamed and irritated. Yippee.

So, the doc tells me to get regular again and if the pain is still there after my next period, we'll do a sonogram. For now, I'm doing AoM's version of colonics. I asked the pharmacist for the best laxative and he said good old milk of magnesia is the cheapest and most effective.

CVS brand of Milk of Magnesia with mint flavoring. *ptooey* Although the mint is better than the regular shit (bad pun, sorry). Instructions for dosage say 2 to 4 tablespoons once a day. Don't exceed that. Who in their right mind would WANT to drink any more than that? Ok, if the cramping gets much worse, yeah, I can down the bottle for relief. But, ewwwwww. Just by the way, if you spill a few drops of this stuff on your skin, it looks like, er, something else that is much more pleasurable to get on you. But, I digress.

Now, the coup de gras of my colon blow: the generic bran flakes.

Mix in lots of water and shake. Voila! I hope to be spending Thursday evening in the restroom catching up on my reading. Oh yeah, and not cramping and being bloated anymore, too. That would be nice. I'd rather go back to talking to other moms about our preschoolers BMs and not mine. You sort of take it for granted until you can't do it right anymore.


Hey libs, looky here!

Hmm, looks like there may be some crow-eating going on after ABC Nightline story tonight shows "secret audiotapes of Saddam Hussein discussing ways to attack America with weapons of mass destruction ... The tapes are being called the "smoking gun" of weapons of mass destruction (WMD) in Iraq. The New York Sun reported that the tapes have been authenticated and currently are being reviewed by the U.S. House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence."

Disgusting examples of parenting

There are times when I don't feel so guilty for letting my children skip a bath for a day - or even two - when I read stories about parents who obviously don't give a damn. It just floors me.

My children have been known to run around the house sans clothing or just in their undies. They've also been known to scatter every possession they own in the house. Occasionally, dirty clothes find their way into the mix. However, I don't think anyone could ever accuse me - at my worst - of being like the first mom in the police blotter. And, I weep for that child in the second story. Apparently, a dad didn't want to take his child for the weekend and mom hunted him down and gave him to the kid. So, he did want any all-American dad would do - dumped the kid in the Exxon station and left. Good God Almighty, I'm not making it up. Fortunatey for the child, no one opted to take off with the kid at head for Mexico (just about six hours south of us on I-35) or to Oklahomas (only 30 miles north of us on 35). What an awful excuse for a father. I hope that mother severs his parental ties and they throw him in jail. Although I question her leaving the child with him if he cares so little for the kid. No way in hell I leave my babies with someone who has so little regard for their welfare.

Then there was the wandering 2-year-old found by police at 2 a.m. this morning. *shaking my head* I hope that one has a happy ending.

Gandalf the Gay

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he is gay, but it did sort of shock me that Sir Ian McKellan is gay.

Guess that puts a whole new spin on my homo-erotic hobbit fantasies. Gandalf would certainly be in the mix now.

Hat Tip to Emily at it comes in pints. Her point was to discuss McKellan's commentary that Hollywood is old fashioned in its response to homosexuality, but I just thought the play on words from Gandalf the Grey to Gandalf the Gay was too funny not to post. Plus, it just brought out the kinky part of me.

Go figure.


My Valentine

I've been trying to think of something clever and romantic to write about Army of Dad. Heck, I was even trying to decide about writing some amateur porn. *sent him some of that this morning*

But, nothing really conveys accurately how much I love my Valentine. I can't remember how long we've been together most of the time. But, I think that is because it is hard to remember life before he was in it. I really felt like I started living when he came into my life. I had thought I was happy before, but I didn't truly know joy.

My passion awoke in ways I never knew before. We love fiercely and argue with ferocity. My heart aches when he is gone. There are times when I'll experience this overwhelming feeling of love spreading throughout my body. I wish I could describe it better, but it feels like a warmth that starts at my shoulders and just pours down my body and I get images of him in my mind.

He is a great dad. He has a firm hand, but a soft hug. He can play Go Fish or give a lecture on being respectful. He gives up his free time to coach soccer teams for both of his boys (with no distinction between his stepson and his biological son). He sacrifices his wife to his children because he knows it is important to me to rush upstairs to soothe a bad dream instead of spending the time with him.

He is a great husband. He doesn't complain that I work from home making a fraction of what I could make if I had a full-time job in an office somewhere. He works overtime and second jobs from time to time to make up for what I don't contribute financially. He makes dinner for me when I ask. He even makes it for me sometimes when I don't. He stays up late for me even though he has to be up at 5 a.m. He watches Project Runway with me every Wednesday night without complaining.

He's an awesome friend. He spends time with me doing things I enjoy. He listens to me (even during sporting events on TV). He will honestly tell me if my butt looks big in an outfit, so I don't embarrass myself.

But, most of all, he is the love of my life. When I think about 9/11, my first thought always focuses on what I would do without him. I would be so lost and devastated. I would miss his smell, the cuddling on cold nights and the long tight hugs combined with kissing.

I don't need chocolates, flowers, cards or jewelry for Valentine's Day. I have the greatest gift of all who gave me a gold band and a solitaire, two beautiful children, a house, a minivan, a washer and dryer ... I could go on and on. He gives me what I NEED and what I want. I couldn't be more blessed.

I love you sweetheart. Happy Valentine's Day.


The origin of Valentine's Day

As we get ready to mark the day of love, do you know the origin of St. Valentine?

Valentine was a holy priest in Rome, who, with St. Marius and his family, assisted the martyrs who were being persecuted under Roman Emperor Claudius II. He was apprehended, and sent by the emperor to the prefect of Rome, who, on finding all his promises to make him renounce his faith in effectual, commended him to be beaten with clubs, and afterwards, to be beheaded, which was executed on February 14, about the year 270.

The origin of St. Valentine, and how many St. Valentines there were, remains a mystery. One theory is that he was caught marrying Christian couples and aiding any Christians who were being persecuted under Emperor Claudius in Rome [when helping them was considered a crime].

He is the patron saint of bee keepers, engaged couples, epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, love, lovers, plague, travellers, young people. *you could make some comments about love being equivalent to keeping bees and the plague, but I wont' go there*

She's a beauty

Many thanks to Uzz for an absolutely beautiful picture of my baby girl.

Babies are so sweet when they're sleeping, although she isn't much of a baby anymore.

Goblet of Fire on DVD

Coming out March 7 is Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on DVD. I can't wait!

Duck! And, I don't mean quack

Note to self: Don't let Army of Dad go hunting with Dick Cheney.

Another crazy mom

Every time I even think about this tragic story, I get big tears in my eyes. To think of a mother being so crazy that she cuts off her own baby's arms is just beyond me. Then again, I can't imagine ANY mother hurting her children. Hell, I feel guilty putting eye drops in Stinkerbelle's eyes right now because she has the "eye gunkees" from allergies.

The Dena Schlosser murder trial starts today. The gal has been in the state's mental faclity for crazy whacked out criminals. I had a brother-in-law in there, too, for a while. He threatened to kill me, Uzz and our newborn son on the day of our son's baptism. That guy was nuts, too.

Mental illness is sad, sad thing. My mom is better now that she is on medications, but she was so scary for a while that I wouldn't let her watch my children. I didn't know what she might do to herself or others because she got so bad for a while. We think some of it is organic in her and was combined with a number of prescriptions medications she was on all coming to a head and making her completely paranoid. Mix that with her manic depression and it was a potentially deadly combination. But, thankfully, my husband told her that she wasn't going to see me or the kids any more if she didn't get help. That was the catalyst for her seeking it. Thank God for that.


Show me the monkey!

Now, get your mind out of the gutter, you monkey spankers!

I'm talking about Curious George. I took Little Bit and Hot Rod to see it today with one of Little Bit's friends.

It was a cute movie. Just hard for me NOT to roll my eyes at parts of it and say THAT would NEVER happen. Come on AoM! It's Curious George for God's Sakes! I did have some laugh out loud moments and I was engaged throughout. The only times the kids got bored were during the couple of gushy lovey dovey scenes between Ted (the man in the yellow shirt) and some teacher who had the hots for him for unknown reasons (apparently she has a thing for geeks).

Cute show. Reinforced the fact that my kids are incredibly well behaved despite bad choices now and then. They were good as good in the movie.

MSM not so PC

I was happy to hear that the staff of the New York Press had the journalistic integrity to walk out in protest for their newspaper choosing not to run the Mohammed cartoons. At least there are a few journalists out there who aren't so PC tha they'll sacrifice the news value in a topic.

A tale of two brows

Well, the new glasses precipitated me abandoning my Brooke Shields eyebrows. So, 37 years into my life and I had my first eyebrow shaping via a waxing.

It wasn't that bad, I must admit. My boys played Go Fish in the floor around a chair while I had it done. I think they both watched up close once when she ripped off the hair. That sucked. My eyebrows are still sore to the touch, but they look good. It is very very subtle, but I like that.

So, here we go.

Before self-portrait:

And, my after self-portrait:

I like the eyebrows. I'm going for a cut, color and highlights this week to fix that ... looking sort of wild with the crazy hair.