Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Sad News for Army of Dad

Late Friday night/early Saturday morning, Army of Dad and I were out visiting friends and hanging out when we got a voicemail that Grandpa had a seizure and was being taken to the hospital. He has been suffering from throat cancer and undergoing an aggressive chemo therapy plan since May. We got word early Saturday morning, that he passed on. This is the last photo we have of Grandpa. Army of Dad went to visit his family in Minnesota in June. That is Little Bit's godfather (and AoD's brother-in-law) in the floor along with our niece. We are going to miss Grandpa and we're terribly saddened by the news. But, once we get past the selfish parts of ourselves, we know he is no longer suffering and for this we are glad for him. Now, our worries focus on Grandma, who will be without her main caretaker. The walker in this picture is hers. She moved from the home (pictured here) that they shared for 40+ (?) years into an assisted living apartment complex for seniors. It will be a good thing for her, but we all worry about how she will handle his loss. There is no family there for her now. Prayers will be most appreciated. Army of Dad is just really glad he took the trip to Minnesota this summer. Grandpa must have known his days were numbered - as he bid farewell to Army of Dad, he gave him a hug and told him it would likely be the last time he saw him alive. He was right.

Funny thing happened Saturday afternoon to give me pause. Army of Dad called me to turn the radio station. A special song was on the radio. Come Sail Away by Styx. My late grandmother, who died in the summer of 1999, hated that song. *giggling* My cousin and I were listening to it one night and Granny said: Oh for God's sakes, sail away with him so he'll shut up! Ever since, I can't help but laugh and think of Granny when this song comes on. Often, I will hear it on the radio on occasions that make me know that Granny is looking down on me and trying to reassure me. I caught it once on her birthday. Another time, I was thinking about her and flipped the channel and caught it. Very weird. Army of Dad heard it Saturday morning, just a few hours after we got the news about his grandfather. I couldn't help but feel that Granny was reassuring me that she was welcoming AoD's grandfather to heaven and showing him the way to the easy chair for a smoke on his pipe.


Me? Playing and charming?

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ESFP)

Your personality type is playful, charming, open minded, and energetic.

Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 9% of all women and 5% of all men

You are Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.

Hat tip to Mo K at Six Degrees of Blondeness .

Gotta love this headline

I'm strangely pleased - at this juncture - with the selection of Sarah Palin as the Republican VP candidate. However, this headline: McCain Taps Alaska Governor for VP.

So, that's how she got the nomination. LOL. Then, you gotta love this bumper sticker. From everything I see, her values match those of my family on guns, life and family. We'll see as more information comes out. For now, I'm re-energized. I was not happy with McCain's candidacy and the idea of Lieberman on the ticket made me scared. This, I think I like.

First Week of School

In the car after her first week of school.

Army of Mom: How was your first week of school?
Little Bit: It was good, but I still don't know how to read or tie my shoes.

Not that she has big goals or anything.

Of course, contrast that with Hot Rod telling me about a classmate stealing another classmate's cell phone. *sigh* Pickle told me about some boys calling his girlfriend a dork. I was proud to know my boy defended her and contemplated the karate if it came down to it. Maybe he really is her knight in shining armour, just like she tells him. *gagging* Yeah, she really does. *shuddering*


I sent this in to my hometown paper along with a nice little paragraph or two about my daddy for Father's Day. I think I was 9 or 10 in this picture. What I love - in addition to the doofy way my dad wore his cap - are the ancient cars in the background. Makes me feel really old. But, hey, I'm pushing 40 in just a few months. *insert deep sigh here*

Daddy coached me from kindergarten on up till I discovered boys were more fun that playing softball with a large group of lesbians-in-training (as we got more competitive) who didn't look like Jennie Finch. So, I think I was 15 when I finally stopped playing ball. But, dad taught me to be a pretty good ballplayer, I think. He was still playing in the old folks league until last year. You know, looking at that picture, I think I still have that glove somewhere in my stuff. I have a bunch of trophies in the garage on the beer fridge. The children are fairly impressed that they're mine - and that's not all of them. I just kept the good ones from tournament wins.

Haha .. just noticed the Kmart sneakers and the knee socks. I think we graduated to sliding pants the next season or two after this one.


Long Way Down

Just been one of those days when it is appropriate to roll the windows down and cranking up the stereo. Yeah, looks really bad-ass in my Kia minivan. I'm so cool. **Not the sarcasm**

But, Long Way Down allowed me to have a really good cry while driving around. I'm sure that freaks people out in traffic.

Oh here you are, there's nothing left to say
You're not supposed to be that way
Did they push you out? did they throw you away?

Touch me now and I don't care
When you take me I'm not there
Almost human, but I'll never be the same

Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own
Long way down, I don't want to live in here alone
Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own

I never put you down, I never pushed you away
You're not supposed to be that way
And anything you want, there's nothing I could say

Is there anything to feel?
Is it pain that makes you real?
Cut me off before it kills me

Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own
Long way down, I don't want to live in here alone
Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own

I never put you down, I never pushed you away
Take another piece of me
Give my mind a new disease
And the black and white world never fades to gray

Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own
Long way down, I don't want to live in here alone
Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own

The drunken call

I need to go find pictures from a wedding about seven years ago of Army of Dad and his army buddies. Tonight, about 11 p.m. our time, midnight on the east coast .. he gets the call. The guys at the sports bar call. On Saturday, the last bachelor in the group (ok the stupid one in the bunch doesn't count), is getting married. *sigh* Unemployment prevents us from flying Army of Dad up there. But, it may work out better for me to send him later in the year when his friends can all really hang out.

But, I digress. He gets the drunken call from the buddies. All three of his best buddies. And, suddenly, I'm moving back in time to my apartment in Killeen when he and his buddies would sit on my front room floor playing cards and drinking beer. They loved my place. Well, they loved it because it wasn't the barracks and I had a single girl living next door to me. Can't get much better than that for them, I suppose.

I'm sort of bummed that I haven't met one of these wives yet. Weird, isn't it? But, it is the way it is. Military life has kept these guys moving all around the globe. Just so happens that his three best friends now live in Maryland and Virginia, so they're all within a short drive of each other.

What cracks me up, though, is that these guys haven't talked for a few months (ok, off and on they talk) but instead of catching up about life, they're talking about football and baseball. Oh wait, now they're reminiscing about a big brawl they got into in Dallas when the groom to be pinched some other dude's girl's ass. I think my guy broke his wrist. That was before my time with the gang. :)

One too many blows to the head

Looks to me like Shawne Merriman has been hit in the head one too many times. What in the world is he thinking to play with effed up knees? Four doctors advised him to have surgery and he is going to ignore them and play anyway. And, dumbass LT agrees with him. I used to like LT till he got a case of the ass a few years back and it just made me sad that he was like that. *shrug* I just can't imagine doing that to his body. He's a young man and he's going to cripple himself and possibly end his career right now. Someone needs to jerk him up by his ear and tell him to take care of himself. *sigh*

I'm a professional

I wanted to let you all know that I'll be going to serve as a personal therapist for David Duchovny as he works to recover from his addiction. I'll give him and Tea all of your love and well wishes. I'm going to try and help him with immersion therapy - immerse him in the addiction he is facing ... maybe if he overindulges, it will cure him. I can at least try.

Show Me Your Sunshine

This has to be one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. I decided to take the camera to dance class after not taking it for a while. The Sunshine Dance was pretty funny, but the best part is the end. My girl - the one in all pink - is spazzing a bit at the beginning. But, the best part is the end. Watch for it and you'll see Little Bit's buddy come hopping into the frame. Ms. Rachel (the teacher) deserves something wonderful for her incredible patience with these girls.This one is pretty funny, too. The teacher keeps seeing the girls get together to act like cheerleaders, so she finally just goes with it and does a little 'go team' thing with them. Then, my daughter can't shut up throughout the dance. Don't know where she gets that talkative nature from.

Oh yeah, and you purvy guys will enjoy seeing Ms. Rachel dance. She does have a great butt. :)


Funny First Day of School Story

Nothing piques your curiosity about the first day of school more than when the kindergarten teacher pulls you aside with a big grin on your face during pick-up. Uh-oh.

Teacher: Your daughter said the funniest thing, but I'll wait to tell you when there aren't so many kids around.

Hmmm. Wonder what she did?

Standing in the foyer this morning talking to a cute little mom who has been a room mom with me for the past two years (her son also played basketball with Hot Rod). We discovered that while our big boys aren't in the same class this year, her little boy is in the same class as Little Bit. So, we're chatting when the assistant principal comes up with a big grin on her face. Oh no.

Asst Principal: I have got to tell you how smart your daughter is.
AoM: Uh-oh.
Asst Principal: *smiling* No, it's a good one. I was introducing myself to all the classes yesterday and I went in and told the children that Ms. M is the best teacher in the school and that I heard this was the best class in school. That's when Little Bit raised her hand and said 'I bet you say that to every class, don't you?' *cracking up now* I had to tell her, I don't use those exact words to every class. That was the truth. She's really clever.

*shaking my head* Yep, that's my girl.


First Day of School

For the first time in a couple of years, I managed to get a picture of Pickle on the first day of school. He is usually running off before I can get the camera out. And, I dare not take one of him at school. How uncool of me to even contemplate.

Hot Rod was sort of the same way at school this morning. Here is a picture of the two kiddos walking up past the school construction. Little Bit's backpack and lunchbox are as big as she is.
And, the time honored picture outside the school sign. We have to get that. She was so happy. Loving her new outfit (thanks to her aunt and Godmother). Oddly enough, another kindergarten girl was wearing the same dress in a neighboring class. She made it off happy as a lark. A little shy around her classmates, but she'll be fine. Mom? Only a few tears before crying once I got home to the empty - and quiet - house.


Little Hot Rod

When Hot Rod was 2, he had this white blond hair and looked so cute in his little jeans. I thought about making him Slim Shady for Halloween after I saw him in his jeans and a white T-shirt one day. But, reason won out and he was Steve from Blue's Clues. It was pretty damn cute ... but, I'm think Slim Shady would have been funnier.

Not sure what made me think of that. I think it is the fact that I'm trying to write up a story about organic composting ... *shaking my head* ... anything to keep from writing. *sigh*

Won't the real Hot Rod please stand up? Yeah, we sang it to him.

The Night Before Kindergarten

Well, one more day of summer. We went to "Meet the Teacher Night" at school tonight. Dropped off school supplies and found out where we'll be tomorrow. Hot Rod got a teacher new to the city. The mother of four boys and a girl, she's been teaching for 21 years. She may be a good fit for my challenging little fella. He got stuck with two very annoying boys in his class again. But, we'll see how it goes. He's getting so big. Just floors me. Fourth grade. *sigh*
And, Little Bit's kindergarten teacher. The teacher's daughter will be sitting next to Hot Rod in his class. :) I'd been doing ok with the thought of her going off to school until tonight. She was so excited that she didn't want to leave school. Although, she got nervous once we got home and fretted about not having any friends. Bless her heart.
Then, we read this book. I searched high and low for a book like this in our house to read to Little Bit tonight. Finally found it in the last place I looked. *whew* I didn't have the foresight to search before now. Go figure. I think I was in denial that maybe she wouldn't have to start school in the morning.

But, alas, was not to be. I found it, The Night Before Kindergarten by Natasha Wing. I didn't make it all the way through before I started to cry, just like the moms and dads at the end of the book. The tears are still there, just right behind my eyes. Packing up her backpack with snacks for her classmates and putting a change of clothes in her bag ... these things make it real. Really real. I can't believe my baby is big enough to be in school. *sigh*

DNC Schedule of Events

Hat tip to my man, Ken Beishir for making sure I had this schedule of events for the 2008 Democrat National Convention

7:20 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
7:25 pm NONRELIGIOUS PRAYER AND WORSHIP - Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton
7:45 pm CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING - Darryl Hannah
7:55 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
8:15 pm GAY WEDDING PLANNING - Rosie O'Donnell
8:35 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
9.00 pm MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM AND HIS SONS - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
11:00 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
11:30 pm OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS - William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
12:15 am TRUTH IN BROADCASTING AWARD - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:25 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
12:30 am SATELLITE ADDRESS - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am NOMINATION OF Barack Hussein Obama- Nancy Pelosi
1:00 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST To Obama
1:30 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST To Hillary Clinton
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home

C'mon. That's funny. I don't care who you are.

Reasons for Economic Strains

Well, I was thinking that my family is pinching pennies because Army of Dad is out of work, but after finding this illuminating email subject in my spam file, I think I know the real reason for our financial challenges:

Bernanke blames Paris and Britney for bearing their vaginas

Well, I'll be damned. The true reason comes out.

Dancing with the Stars

Something tells me that Army of Dad may have a new interest in Dancing with teh Stars after he learns that Kim Kardashian and Misty May-Treanor will be among the celebrity dancers. I like Susan Lucci, too, from all those years of watching All My Children. I watched the last episode or two when Emmitt Smith was on there, but never watched it other than that. So, we'll see.

If he can watch this booty dancing around in slinky attire ... yeah, he'll be there glued to the TV. At least he won't be licking it like the girlfriend of one of his buddies did once during a football game. Ok, I don't anticipate that he'll be licking it, let's put it that way. Ok, if Misty May's butt is looking like that, all bets are off regarding him accosting my television set.


Supermodel, part 3

More pictures of my beauty. These first two were taken by her brother, Pickle, with a camera using 35 mm film (camera belonging to Hot Rod's godmother). This was waiting for her turn on the stage. Cracks me up.

Then, Hot Rod's godmother captured these great shots on the catwalk. She got an eruption of cheers from the crowd. The little kids with some 'tude seemed to get the best results out of all of the models. And, Little Bit, she certainly has some sass and attitude.
The little pigeon-toed pose at the end of the runway totally melted the hearts of the people in the audience. The lady in front of her with the melon-colored shirt and white trim is the principal at the school where Hot Rod and Little Bit attend. Her three children were in the show, too. Too cute. Can't tell I'm proud, can you?

10+ Years of Marital Bliss Summed Up in One Sentence

AoM: I love you *said to Army of Dad*.
AoD: What brought that on?
AoM: Just because I love you. Do you have a problem with it?
AoD: Nah. Sort of stuck with it now.

*Awww, can't you feel the love?


On the catwalk, part 2

Dillard's Back to School Fashion Show was a huge success. I had my doubts at rehearsal this morning. But, everyone came out and did a great job. Here is my little fashion model working it. She was adorable as the video will show.
Here she is at the end of the show doing one last runway walk. I love all the moms in the audience snapping pictures. There was a pretty big crowd. I'm surprised she didn't stage fright from all the people. There was about 200 people there, give or take.
Lining up for the final trip down the catwalk.
Getting a little bouquet of roses from her daddy after the show.
Granny and Papa made the trip down to see her, as did Robert's godmother.

And, her modeling debut. Man, she was cute as a bug.

Work It Girl, Part 1

Rehearsal: 8:30 a.m. *yawning* Little Bit's "Back to School" fashion show at Dillard's starts at 1 p.m. today. So, we started the day off with a run-through to get the kids ready for the show. The tallest girl in the hot pink on the far left is our principal's daughter at Little Bit's and Hot Rod's school. Her twin little brothers are in the show, too. Little Bit was VERY nervous. Her and the girl in the blue to her right wound up walking together because they were both so anxious.
Here they are with a cute Dillard's employee practicing. It was funny, too, because Little Bit and the Blue girl were so animated up until time to walk. Butterflies, I guess.

So, we stayed afterward and gave it a practice walk or two. Much better. This is her school principal with her kiddos.
While she was practicing, I kept singing this song to myself. And, then, when she turned and posed, this song started in my head. Darnit. Singing Ru Paul and Right Said Fred makes me feel old. Pictures and/or videos will follow.


Liberty Memorial or are you happy to see me?

Forgetting to post my Liberty Memorial pictures and World War I Museum pictures is unforgivable. I will try to rectify that soon. Here is me and Army of Dad out front last month.

Send good vibes and/or do an anti-rain dance for my mother-in-law. She lives in Brevard County, Florida, where they've had around 20-something inches of rain already from Fay. She got water in her living room, but so far, she's not flooded.

Found Little Bit a new very frou-frou tutu for her at the thrift store today complete with matching floral headband for a grand total of $5.99. Woo hoo. Much better than the $20 they wanted for a new one (that was prickly and not as cute) at the dance store. Although we had to drop $49 for new tights, tap shoes and ballet shoes. Thank God, my folks are coughing that up. Still can't understand how someone could take a little girl's dance gear and not turn it in to the front office. Little Bit is convinced that the "bad guy" will be held accountable upon meeting Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. She said "I forgive the bad guy who took my dance clothes. But, he has to talk to Jesus about it when he dies." She has a very satisifed look on her face as she said it, too. That Jesus guy is no pushover, apparently. She and Hot Rod had quite the discussion about it. Hot Rod was talking about how you have to MEAN it when you ask for forgiveness because Jesus knows if you're not sincere. I was proud of the girl for having a forgiving heart, but also when she said "I need to take better care of my stuff, so I don't forget it and someone take it." So, she is looking at it in a good light. Maybe I'm not a total failure at this mom thing.

On second thought, there is still this.


Feeling Funk-y

In a bit of a funk today. I'm thinking it is PMS, but just having a rough patch. I'm reading I Will Not Be Broken by Jerry White. I was lucky to have it sent to me by the author's publicist to read and post some thoughts on.

I'm only at page 46, but I find it a really good read. It is essentially five steps to overcoming a life crisis (which is the secondary title of the book). It is difficult for me to read - to a certain degree - because the author does not believe in pity parties and I've been wrapped up in one for a few months now. So, it makes you face up to the cruddy stuff that life has dealt you. But, I also like the fact that he doesn't discount your trauma - whether it is losing a spouse (or a leg like the author did when he stepped on a landmine) or losing a job (which is what we're dealing with).

But, he talks about coping and dealing. Good things for me right now. It is funny that he focuses on how you can't let your grief consume you. Instead, you must accept it and find out what you can do to make things better.

At this point in the book, he is talking about how if you don't face your tragedy, it will find ways to creep into your life. I'm actually going through that right now. I try to move happily forward like nothing is wrong, but my fears come to me in my dreams in other scenarios. My mind is not going to let me ignore it or bury it. So, I'm trying to face it. Trying to keep my faith and trying to do the best that I can.

I'm not sure why it is at the forefront of my mind, but I keep remembering when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was just completing my sophomore year at Baylor and we were planning (me, mom and dad) to go to Europe for two weeks. I was so excited. We had gone to see an art exhibit in Dallas - I think it was King Tut or Titanic, I can't recall for sure - when my mom springs it on me that she has breast cancer and we can't go to Europe because she's having a radical mastectomy. I remember cracking jokes with her and dad and acting like all was well in the world and that this would be no big deal. Mom and dad seemed to relax almost instantly when I told them it was no big deal to miss the trip and I'd take a few weeks off from work and school to come stay with mom and help her recovery. I think it was the next day that I was going for my annual exam when the doctor told me I had an ovarian cyst. If it didn't shrink in a month, I'd have to go back in for surgery. *sigh* I think I sobbed the entire three-hour drive home from my folks' house to Baylor. Uzz probably remembers that trip, too. He had to endure it all, as well.

But, the book talks about 'intrusion' of traumatic facts rushing back in nightmares or flashbacks. Yep, I can appreciate that.

Maybe I'll break out of my funk soon. Gotta take my daughter to get new tap and ballet shoes as well as a new leotard and tights. My mom left her dance bag at the rec center last week and some stinker took it. I'm sure they were disappointed not to find cash or a cell phone, but instead some 5-year-old girl's dance gear. Poor baby was pretty sad to know someone took her favorite tutu that she received as a Christmas gift. Nice, huh?


Goofiest Olympic Sport Contest

Ok, I'm not sure which one really should be the winner of this race ... but I think racewalking has my vote.

I keep thinking of Dodgeball's Obscure Sports Quarterly magazine whenever I watch these things.

But, if you watch this ... it looks like their legs are rubbery. It just looks painful the way they move their legs.

P.S. If your mom, sister, whoever is a racewalker, I mean nothing mean by it ... just cracks me up.

Stating the Obvious

First off, a big old middle finger to my husband for laughing when I said I was going to put together our new vaccuum cleaner. Thank you very much, I did it all by myself and it sucks appropriately.

With that said, I had to get a new vaccuum cleaner. I apparently ran the damn thing over something that totally screwed it up. Fortunately, Wal-Mart is very forgiving and exchanged it for me (since I still had the box - thank you to Army of Dad for insisting that I keep it. I usually give him grief for doing that.)

So, I'm putting it together and while reading the instructions I noticed this little gem: Assemble the cleaner before using.

No shit? Really? You gotta put it together before it works? Well, I'll be damned.

So, then I started seeing other little nuggets of interest:
Do not use on wet surfaces.
Do not put any object into openings.
Keep hair, loose clothing, fingers and all parts of body away from openings and moving parts.
Do not pick up anything that is burning or smoking such as cigarettes, matches or hot ashes.
Do not pick up flammable or combustible liquids such as gasoline.

That's like the warning on your coffee that "liquid may be hot." Well, yeah.


New Orleans May Never Be The Same

44 Days.

That's when TNT will explode in New Orleans as me and the gal who has been pretty much my best friend since I was 12 will be heading to the Crescent City.

It won't be all play because I've got to attend meetings for three days for the professional group for which I serve on the national board. But, we will have the evenings to ourselves on Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

Never been to New Orleans before. Other than flashing my boobs ... what fun things are their to do the French Quarter? Any recommendations for 'can't miss' places to dine, drink and have a good time?


Cuz I'm White and Nerdy

I have so much nerdy blood running through me that it can be quite scary at times. We took the kids to see Star Wars: The Clone Wars on Friday and my sweet beautiful little 5-year-old said "Look, mom! Jawas!"

*wiping a tear from my eye*

I was shocked that she knew what they were. My nerd work here is done.

So, it is only appropriate that I've been reading the Nerd series of books by Vicki Lewis Thompson. So far, I've read Nerds Like it Hot and The Nerd Who Loved Me. Both are good reads. They've got some romance, some adventure and the writing is easy to read. Some of it is a bit cheesey, but they're romantic novels. *shrug* Sue me. I like them and want to read the others. It is nice every now and then not to get something heavy to read.

Next on my list is probably re-reading The Chronicles of Narnia. We saw Prince Caspian at the dollar movies this weekend. I loved it. Made me want to re-read all the books. I love the symbolism in the stories. C.S. Lewis was an incredible writer. Maybe that will be inspiring.

Why I'm Not a Stripper

This is so what would happen to me if I tried to strip. Thankfully my mom didn't name me grace.

Flashing Back

The problem with YouTube is that it gets addictive when they pop up those other songs. While looking up Manfred Mann, I see Do Wah Diddy whatever it is. I'm thinking of Stripes and watching the video.

When, Good God, if that one dude in the band doesn't look exactly like Mo Rocca. Weird.

Wrapped up like a douche ...

Sometimes there comes a moment when you realize that you say things that little ears hear regardless if you want them to or not. Worst part is that said children will also repeat said curse words at inappropriate times.

Like when we have company.

Just some background: My 9-year-old loves Aerosmith ever since riding the Rock N Roller Coaster down in Orlando. Well, our dinner guests the other night are big time classic rockers, so their 8-year-old loves the stuff, too. The boys were dining on chips and burgers at the dinner table and Radio Disney was not cutting it for the guest. So, he suggested 93.3 The Bone (rock) and on comes Manfred Mann's version of Blinded By the Light.

Apparently, the boys are just rocking out and eating when my son hears "blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche ..." or least that is what HE thought it was saying because he started giggling hysterically and pointing at the radio with his hand over his mouth.

Worst part of the story: the father of the younger guest happened to walk into the kitchen about the time this happened. So, he witnesses my son getting a case of the giggles over the word "douche" in the song. Of course, the guest has no clue that this is a "dirty" word. My son knows it is because mom calls people douchebags in traffic all the time. Thank God, he doesn't know what it means, he just knows a "d-bag" is a bad thing to say.

Our dinner guest walks back in with this weird look on his face and he's stifling back the laughter as he tells me this story.

Great. Mother of the Year Award, here I come.

AoM: Son, you know they're saying 'deuce' and not the other word, right?
Hot Rod: Uh, yeah *snickering* mom.

Working My Way Back to You Babe

I was saddened to hear that Pervis Jackson, the man who provided the bass vocals to The Spinners, died today - just two days after learning he had cancer. I can remember going to the store to buy my .45 (that's a single that was played on one of those ancient record players - not a gun - dear Army of Dad, my boytoy young hubby). I loved Working My Way Back to You and Rubberband Man (shown here on Burt Sugarman's The Midnight Special - which brings back tons of memories from getting to stay up late some weekends to watch!)

According to the news report, The Spinners formed in Detroit as a 1950s doo-wop group. They strung together a number of hits in the 1970s that included Mighty Love and I'll Be Around with Atlantic Records.

I'm sure Pervis has added his beautiful voice to the angels' chorus. Sing on, my man. You brought joy to this little gal.

*I tried to do a YouTube post, but once again, I was foiled. Expect it to show up on here around the middle of October.*

Aha! I've found Michael Phelps' Secret

That's right. Michael Phelps is a merman. The scandal was surely going to be exposed at some point. Just remember that you read it here first! Ok, seriously, Phelps and Julianne Moore (here as Ariel aka The Little Mermaid) were shot by Annie Leibovitz for a "Disney Dream Portrait Series"ad campaign.
Yep, just wait till the IOC gets ahold of this image. *shaking my head*

To go see the picture larger, click here and you can see Janet Evans, Rowdy Gaines, Brendan Hansen and Cullen Jones all in the picture, too. I love Cullen Jones. He's too darn cute. You can see more of the Disney Dream Portrait Series here.

Just call him Bob

Well, alrighty.

This morning, I was heaping on the self-flagellation. I was beyond consolation, just a quivering lip away from tears. I'm behind on deadlines, have a messy house, applications to put in and then I noticed the roof is leaking - again - onto the front porch. Wouldn't be that bad - it is outside and not inside - but we repaired that leak once before, but not before it damaged the siding on the house and cost us money to have it replaced.

So, pity party is in full swing when Army of Dad sends me the link about this fella with no arms or legs who swam in a damn triathalon with his buddies doing the other two legs (bad pun) of the race. Damn. If this guy can have a sense of humor and even beat people swimming, I guess I should be happy that I have a leaky roof that my honey can climb up and fix once the roof dries.



I was flipping around on the computer this morning when I saw that a ton of YouTube links all popped up on my blog. Totally weird. Some of those, I tried to post as long ago as July 26. Glad they got around to doing it.



Hand me the keys

This always makes me laugh. Especially the Baldwin guy and the dude with the speech problem.

I Just Wanna Be Mad

Ever feel like this?

Mad TV - McCain Campaign Ad

I laughed till I had tears in my eyes. Go have a giggle - regardless of your politics - you'll crack up.

A thrill going up my leg

There are many jokes about how the media swoons over Barack Obama. This McCain ad is hilarious. I think - even if you like Obama - you have to laugh at this. Chris Matthews — who has both cried over an Obama speech and compared him to Jesus — describes in the video what happens to him when Obama speaks:

I have to tell you, you know, it's part of reporting this case, this election, the feeling most people get when they hear Barack Obama's speech. My, I felt this thrill going up my leg. I mean, I don't have that too often.

Wow. Lou Dobbs mentions about how the media throws aside their objectivity - obviously - and, man, these clips show it.

Have a good giggle. And, my campaign rhetoric for this year will be minimal. My campaign slogan:
McCain: not my first choice, but better than the other guy.

I'm Back

Kansas City was great. I got to spend some time with my husband, site-see a neat city and learn some new things about my profession. I even had to lead a roundtable discussion. Yeah, back that shit up ... you're very impressed, I'm sure. LOL. Will blog more later. Gotta go collapse into bed and get Stinkerbelle to a soccer game with a 9 a.m. start in the morning.

I'm back.


If anything can make me smile

Another moment when I will join in my mother-in-law's chant of "its great to be a Florida Gator!"

Great to watch Ryan Lochte take gold and cutie patootey Aaron Piersol take silver. Rebecca Soni inspired Little Bit (we let her get out of bed to watch) with a gold medal and a world record, too.

Yeah, the swimmers can make me smile. These girls smile so big when they when. And, the guys .. well, those six pack abs say it all. :)


I don't understand why people have to be such assholes.

For one thing, why is it that the people who aren't following the traffic laws are always the ones who flip you off? On my way home from a longass day, I'm driving on this overpass (which goes into a construction zone) and the speed limit goes from 60 on one side of the bridge to 40 mph as you're going over the bridge. The cop sets up at the bottom of the bridge all the time pegging people as they come flying over the bridge. So, I've learned to go 40 to try to avoid that ticket. Well, also on this bridge, it goes from two lanes down to one. The right lane stays and the left has to merge into the right lane. Simple, right? Apparently not. A convoy of work trucks are going 60 over the hill in the left lane. Be my guest. You can go be trooper bait. Then, some little hussy comes flying up behind me. By the time she gets to me, the lanes have merged into one. She lays on the horn at me for being in the lane going 40, when she clearly doesn't have the right of way and is clearly speeding. Of course, you guessed it: the middle finger comes out of the window so there is no mistaking or missing it.

Nice. You're the one breaking at least two traffic laws and you're going to flip me off. I'm sure your mom would be proud.


Then, I get home and have some nasty email from a soccer grandma. *shaking my head* For about a year now, I've been the volunteer team manager for Hot Rod's academy soccer team. I don't get anything for doing it. Ok, that isn't true. I get headaches and shit from people. But, I get no discount, no monetary incentive, nada for doing it. It is purely volunteer. So, I get really fed up with people constantly bitching about every little effing thing. Part of the job is collecting money for team fees. It isn't fun as I have to harass people - sometimes for months - to get them to pay. Then, I have to keep up with who paid, what amount they paid, what they owe, etc. I get the headache of signing the team up for leagues, ordering the uniforms, paying the coaches. I also get to deal with the crap from the parents when another parent criticized their little Johnny, who is so incredibly talented, they are shocked that someone wouldn't bow down to kiss his little feet for gracing our soccer pitch with his presence.

It is the 14th of the month and more than half of the parents still haven't paid. So, I send an email out asking people to pay and telling them dues are past due. Wouldn't it be rational to expect that the club fees are due at the beginning of the month? Why would someone assume anything else? I got a nasty email from a grandma that she didn't know when the fees were due and how I should invoice people and tell them what they owe and when. Well, WTF do you think I've been doing when I send out individual emails to the parents on the first of the month informing them that you owe x number of dollars and it is due? Am I missing something? Am I leaving something out? Are you that fucking stupid that I have to spell it all out? Well, I guess I do if your little Johnny gets all his smarts from you. That explains why he has that stupid fucking lost look on the soccer pitch every week. It is an inherited tendency. I also see where his mom gets her bitchiness from now, too. It comes honestly from her mother.

*taking deep breaths*

Worst part is that I'm just barely getting started. I'm tired of dealing with smelly parents who show up at game time, if they show up at all, and then get their stinky panties in a wad over whatever has pissed them off. I'm tired of taking shit for the coaches - who get paid to coach - from the parents because the coach did something to piss them off. Tell him yourself. And, while you're at it, take these indoor player cards and ya'll decide whose ass to shove them up.

I'm tired of the coaches bitching to me because the players don't show up early. What do you want me to do? I give them a schedule. I tell them to show up 20-30 minutes early. You're the one who starts little Johnny when he shows up at game time over the kids who showed up in time to warm up. You guys are the ones who "forget" that we have a game and then wonder why we can't keep players. Little wonder the players keep going to other clubs. If we want a rec level coach dad to coach the team, we'll go play rec. And, while we're on that, my fucking husband is more of a coach than you will ever be. He cares more and when he coaches, he puts more time into it than the 10 minutes you've spent thinking about it as you're pulling up into the parking lot.

I've got enough crap in my life to deal with. I don't need this shit.

*putting away the soap box* I'm sure I'll regret this blog post in 10 minutes.

*tick, tick tick*

Nope, I don't guess I will. Just wish I had the testicles to tell this to the parents and coaches myself instead of just ranting about it on the Internet.


Deep, dark and twisted

How to know that you listen to way too much Radio Disney with your kids - you actually like the Jonas Brothers.

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Army of Dad had a very promising job interview today. *sigh* So, once again, we sit back and wait to see if the boss is smart enough to hire him.

The Waiting is the Hardest Part.

Little Bit had her fitting for the back-to-school fashion show. She is going to model one of their sets of uniform clothes - navy skorts and a sky blue polo shirt. Very cute. She makes a great little school girl. :)

I'm going to cover a city council budget retreat in the morning for a local business journal. I haven't covered a governmental budget meeting in probably 10 years or more when I used to cover the school board in Killeen. Gosh, make that more than 11 years. I figure it will be like riding a horse - painful, but easily remembered in how to do it. Money is money, I figure.


World Records

Do you ever wonder how these world records continue to get beat? I mean, at what point does it stop and no one can go any faster in a race?

The Phage

I'm really immature. I recognize that. Sitting at the monitor typing in notes furiously with the speaker phone on while I interview two major university researchers about some work they're doing developing sensors using bacteriophages. They kept talking about how the phage works to do this, etc. But, every time they said the word "phage" I had to stifle a giggle. All I could think about was the Voyager episode about the race infected with the phage. Yeah, I know. Real professional. *sigh*

From Airhead to Bobblehead

Doggonit. It doesn't bobble here .... it is actually pretty funny. I'm a bobblehead Ranger.

Ok, no smark remarks about my Rangers being bobbleheads.


Because I'm THAT important

One of my favorite Olympians as a child growing up was Mark Spitz. I can vaguely remember those 1972 Olympics. I definitely remember all the hype following Spitz throughout my childhood.

Now, instead of being a proud American holding the record for the most gold medals, he has turned into a bitter dude hawking botox. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

I'm really sad.


Don't talk smack

France's swim team has to regret the smack talking about taking down the U.S. men's team in the 400-meter relay. With a come-from-behind effort, the US men's team beat down the French.

Army of Dad and I were up on our feet cheering and yelling like we're at a football game or something! It was incredible. The pride for our country and watching these young men (wonderfully built young men) give it their all to win. This is another great picture.

And, I've loved this video of Cullen Jones thanking his momma for all she's done for him. I hope my kiddos can speak as highly of me when they're grown. It will bring tears to your eyes if you're a mom or dad who has ever supported your child in something they want so much.

I love the Olympics. And, this picture, too. Michael Phelps. *swoon*

Do as I say, not as I do

I got my college transcript to submit to the school district (yeah, I'm stupid - I put in to be a substitute teacher this fall). So, it is comical to see my grades. I'm not sure how I graduated.

But, some of these grades should be telling:

I got As in volleyball, introduction to mass communications (Travels with Gould), and social problems. Yep, that is all. Three As. (that doesn't include the community/junior college classes).


I got Bs in beginning reporting/writing, softball, practicum in audio production (I was partnered with one of the hottest guys on campus; of course he later bedded one of my roomies *sigh*), Lariat (the school newspaper) reporting, American constitutional development (second time around), juvenile delinquency, criminology, public relations writing, bowling, death and dying.

Hmm. So, we can see what I'm good at.

As we slide down the scale of acceptable grades, here are all my Cs:
New Testament survey; American, state and local government; introduction to electronics, film, media; general physics (Packard physics); American Literature masterpieces; Old Testament survey; English literature before Burns, elementary German; teachers, school and society; thinking, writing and research; editing; advertising procedures; advanced reporting and writing; legislative process and behavior; marriage and the family (this is telling); biology; law and ethics of journalism; public affairs reporting; and Spanish.

I had a saying to my parents in college that "D means diploma" because as long as most of my grades were above a 2.0, I could graduate. So, the Ds were the classes that I just couldn't get motivated about like psychology; Spanish II; American constitutional development (that was the first time through, replaced it with a B); German II; fundamentals of international politics (yeah, try teaching that to a 20-year-old girl who is more concerned about her hair); thinking and writing (bite me, AoD, I know what you're thinking); American History to 1877 (they made me remember too much stuff); algebra; American History to 1877 (was not better the second time around).


But, I muddled through and have a degree ... even if I have learned more in the "real world" than I ever did in college. It was a good four years.

I have to NOT let my children know how I did in college. This blog post will self-destruct in 10 seconds.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, *shield your eyes*, 2, 1, BOOM!

Birdhouse in your soul

Wow. Reaching WAYYYYY back in the annals of my memory and somehow I started thinking about They Might be Giants and I started thinking of Don't Let's Start and Birdhouse in your Soul. I was momentarily transported back to the late 80s and riding around with Uzz (my ex-husband) listening to new wave, alt rock and indie bands. Ohh, the old days. I love these lyrics.

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say Im the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
(and while youre at it
Keep the nightlight on inside the
Birdhouse in your soul)
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say Im the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul


She's a beautiful girl

Suddenly I See - an ode to my Stinkerbelle Little Bit.

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)

My beautiful little girl was selected to be a model in the back to school fashion show at the local mall in a couple of weeks. She knew she'd make it; even though I kept telling her not to count on it. But, after watching some of the other kids walk, I knew she had it wrapped up. The judges simply told her where the mark was and what they wanted and she did it with a smile, standing up straight. I was very proud of her. We go for her "fitting" on Wednesday. I hope her big head can fit in the door.

Sassy new do


Right? I really hate to have my picture taken, but I know that very few people will believe how short my hair is now. It has NEVER been this short. IT was close to this short back in 1991 or 1992 when I had a swing bob, but that was it. I've had it at least to my shoulders or longer ever since. I didn't intend for it to be this short, but the hairdresser got on a roll and kept calling it my 'summer do' and how this style of cut is all the rage right now.

*shrug* It definitely feels lighter. I can't believe it whenever I run my fingers through my hair (or lack of it). I just hope it doesn't give me the 'mom do.' I don't want the 'mom do.' Although, I do have on my very fierce Josh Hamilton wife-beater. Its my favorite shirt.


Why can't I do this?

Well, it looks like Dad Gone Mad is publishing a book.


I really want to write a book. I have so many ideas bee-bopping around in my head. But, to actually sit down and start writing; I just can't seem to do it.

I go back and forth between being totally committed to the idea of writing a book. Why don't I just do it? The self-doubts creep up. I'm not good enough. Who would care? I don't have time. You name it, I say it to myself.

I really ought to just do it. Sort of like Nike.

Movie quotes, round 3

Finding cheap forms of entertainment has left us either checking out DVDs at the library or going through our own DVD collection.

For the second night in a row, Army of Dad has pulled out Boondock Saints:

Ivan Checkov: I am Ivan Checkov, and you will be closing now.
Murphy: Checkov? Well, this here's McCoy. We find a Spock, we got us an away team.

Rocco: Fuckin'- What the fuckin'. Fuck. Who the fuck fucked this fucking... How did you two fucking fucks... [shouts]
Rocco: Fuck!
Connor: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.

There are so many lines. I would have to include the whole movie. :)

Rocco: I'll catch you on the flip side.

Connor: Okay, Roc...
[Connor looks at him and laughs; his mask is badly put on]
Rocco: What? You guys got masks.
Murphy: You look like Mush Mouth from Fat Albert.
[as they keep giggling, Rocco takes his mask off]
Rocco: Fine! Fuck it. When we're done, she can ID me. I don't care. Just trying to be professional, but nooooo...
Connor: It looks fine!
Rocco: Fuck it.
Connor: Now shut the fuck up, you look good. Put it on! You look fuckin' scary, man!
[Rocco puts his mask on, again badly]
Connor: [trying not to laugh] Now Roc, are you sure that you're obee-kay-bee?

Red Flags

Nothing like hearing the scurrying around of the AC repair tech overhead. Amidst the booms of them stepping on the 2x4s over the sheetrock overhead, I hear groans and then the exclamation of SHIT!


I'm wondering when I should be alarmed.

Dudes came down earlier and told me that the combination of the lack of freon (which was "fixed" a week or two ago) and a dirty filter caused the AC unit to freeze up. *shrug* The filter is on us, the freon - all on you guys. We had a guy come out about two weeks ago to fill the freon and he said that when it was installed that they didn't put the cap on properly and that caused the freon to leak out. Asked the tech if that is something the neighbor kids could have loosened and he chuckled and said, not unless they installed it, too.

Now, I can hear the AC guy's cell phone ringing through the ceiling. Hmm. Wonder if we need more insulation.

UPDATE: Could hear the guy on the cell phone, apparently talking to his supervisor, and we overheard him say that the giant thud we heard earlier was them DROPPING the freaking AC unit. So, that explains the drilling we hear, as they have to put the damn thing back up. We also overheard them say that there is a block of ice a couple of inches thick that they're going to have to melt before they can turn the AC unit back on. Lovely. It is only supposed to be 99 today.


Separated at birth?

With all the Brett Farve talks going on, I was watching Mike McCarthy talk and his resemblance to Kevin James is remarkable. Anyone else see it? Army of Dad laughed and said "It must have been a helluva birth!"

A profound love

I'm reading a book by Dr. James Dobson called 'Holding on to Your Faith Even When God Doesn't Make Sense.' It has been a helpful book for me. One passage focuses on dedication and loyalty. It is so beautiful. Knowing love like this ...

A letter written by Major Sullivan Ballou of the Union army on July 14, 1861, to his wife Sarah before going to fight in the Battle of Bull Run.

My Very Dear Sarah,
The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days - perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more ...

I have no misgivings about or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American civilization now leans on the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing, perfectly willing to lay down all my joys in this life to help maintain this Government and to pay that debt ...

Sarah, my love for you is deathless: it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break, and yet my love of country comes over me like a strong wind, and bears me irrestibly on, with all these chains, to the battlefield.

The memories of all the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most deeply grateful to God, and you, that I have enjoyed them so long. And, how hard it is for me to give them up, and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together and seen our sons grown up to honorable manhood around us.

If I do not return, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless, how foolish I have often-times been ...

O Sarah, if the dead can come back to this earth, and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you in the gladdest day, and in the darkest night, amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours - always, always: and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath: or the cool air cools your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.

Sarah, do not mourn me dead: think I am gone, and wait for me, for we shall meet again ...


He was killed one week later at the first Battle of Bull Run.


More movie quotes

"Now we've got a huge guy theory and a serial crusher theory."

I can't believe I didn't go into it, but Boondock Saints is probably quoted more than any other movie in our house other than Serenity and the Star Wars movies.

Cuz I'm smaht.

Where you goin? Nowhere!

Gotta love my husband

Discussing the finer points of Jessica Alba, when he mentions that at times she doesn't have a pretty face, but other times she is gorgeous.

AoD: Sort of like Cameron Diaz. Sometimes, if the angle is right, she's hot. Other times, she looks like a praying mantis or alien by-product.

I sort of see it in this picture.

Never trust a big butt and a smile

Trying to drown out the jellyfish show Army of Dad is watching while I'm writing up these scintillating construction news briefs, so I turned to YouTube. For one, I had to go Bell Biv DeVoe's Poison, then I turned to Gettin' Jiggy Wit' It. He's going to regret the jellyfish fiasco.

Apache, Jump on It was a next logical choice in the effort to make my husband stop watching, but alas, it wasn't to be. Even Goin Back to Cali didn't do it.

Now, my old school rapping comes to end. Gotta go find me some Fergie and Pussycat Dolls. Maybe throw in some Coolio for good measure. I pulled out Crank Dat by Soulja Boy. I sort of want to learn how to do that Superman dance. I would probably look like a fool, though. Oooh, now I've pulled out Da Dip by Freak Nasty.

Now, Army of Dad's watching a show about eyeballs ... how vision has evolved ... something to do with the jellyfish. *rolling MY eyes*

Texas Heat

As we've gone like two weeks, give or take, with temps over 100 every day, I thought this little joke by that my high school journalism teacher sent me.

Just moved to Texas! Now this is a state that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm balmy evenings.
What a place! It is beautiful.
I've finally found my home.
I love it here.

June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem.
Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this.
I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today.
Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain.
No more mowing lawn for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week.
How do people get used to this kind of heat?
At least, it's kind of windy though.
But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool.(Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body).
Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do.
I learned my lesson though.
Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:
I missed Lomita, my cat, sneaking into the car when I left this morning.
By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon.
The car now smells like Kibbles and shits.
I learned my lesson though.
No more pets in this heat.
Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

July 25th:
The wind sucks.
It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!
And it's hot as Hell.
The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now; a $225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one.
Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th:
It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.
It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85.
I hate this stupid state.

Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to strangle him.
Damn heat.
By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work.
Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire.
My skin melted to the seat.
I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass.
Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording.
Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny.
It's been too hot to do shit for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert?
Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over.
Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL!
Temperature got to 115 today.
Cactus is dead.
Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car.
The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"
My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail.
Freaking Texas.
What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.


Aren't you impressed?

Your Vocabulary Score: A-
Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary!
You must be quite an erudite person.
Hat tip to: it comes in pints

Cry me a river, NOT

Well, it would seem that a convicted rapist murderer is boo-hooing over the fact that he's too fat to execute. Swear to God, I'm not making this shit up.

Apparently, the fatass is on meds for migraines and that could make the lethal injection not work properly, plus he's got 'poor veins'. Some doctor said the dude's "weight, combined with the potential drug resistance, increases the risk he would not be properly anesthetized." His lawyer said "all of the experts agree if the first drug doesn't work, the execution is going to be excruciating."

Boo fucking hoo. I'm sure it was a walk in the park for the two women he raped and murdered. I'm just guessing their moments before their death could be described as excruciating. Pardon me, if I'm not really concerned that this bastard has to suffer for a few minutes before he meets his maker.

Didn't work for me

Perhaps had I been wearing a better shirt, I might have gotten out of the speeding ticket today. My boobies did not help me out today, though. Rat bastard cop wrote me a ticket. Told him I was in an unfamiliar area (back road in a neighboring town). I even pulled out the unemployed husband card. No dice.


So, now, on top of everything else, I have to crap up money for a speeding ticket.

*double sigh*

Favorite movie scenes

There are many more, but these few come to mind immediately. Now, many of these are ones that Army of Dad and I quote routinely in the course of a normal day. Yeah, I know. We're dorks. Me, more than him.

The Usual Suspects has several including my two favorites:
Give me the keys, you cocksucker.

Here is a montage of two faves: why'd you gotta go and do that and I'll flip ya.

There are many from Princess Bride.
Hallo, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

There are too many lines in Ferris Bueller's Day Off to give you any one particular line.

There are also many from Fifth Element. But, none better than Leloo Corbin Dallas.

This isn't in a movie, but we do the line a lot.

There are way too many in Boondock Saints, but one of the best: I can't believe that just fucking happened! This clip leaves out the best part: is it dead?

Tons of LOTR:
it comes in pints

They're taking the hobbits to Isengard. Ok, so it isn't in the movie, really. But, sort of.

My precious.

Eowyn: Courage, Merry, courage for our friends.

[as he kills the three Orcs guarding Frodo]
Sam: That's for Frodo! And for the Shire! *And that's for my old Gaffer!*

Legolas: A red sun rises, blood has been spilled this night. (this movie line comes up about once a month, LOL)

Sam: *Po-tay-toes!* Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew... (whenever I'm making some sort of mashed potatoes or scalloped potatoes or something)

Gollum: But, the fat hobbit. He knows. Eyes always watching. (lots of Gollum quotes about the fat hobbit)
Gollum: Of course he did. I told you he was tricksy. I told you he was false.
Gollum: Sneaky little hobbitses.

Fruity Oaty Bars

I can't find some of my favorite Serenity quotes on YouTube, but here they are:
Jayne Cobb: Shiny. Let's be bad guys.

Lenore: Mal. Guy killed me, Mal. He killed me with a sword. How weird is that?

Jayne Cobb: She is startin' to damage my calm.

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!

Kaylee Frye: Goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries! Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Oh, God! I can't *know* that!
Jayne Cobb: I could stand to hear a little more.

River Tam: Put a bullet to me. Bullet in the brain pan, squish.

Jayne Cobb: Ain't logical. Cuttin' on his own face, rapin' and murdering - Hell, I'll kill a man in a fair fight... or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight, or if he bothers me, or if there's a woman, or if I'm gettin' paid - mostly only when I'm gettin' paid. But these Reavers... last ten years they show up like the bogeyman from stories. Eating people alive? Where's that get fun?

'Wash' Washburn: I'm a leaf on the wind!

And my favorite from Back to School when Rodney Dangerfield (Thornton Melon) tells Robert Downey Jr.'s character, Derek, that he looks like the poster child for birth control. Makes me laugh every time.
Derek: [to Jason - Thornton's son and Derek's friend- who's sitting there moody with a bottle of alcohol and sunglasses on] Nice look. What are you going for? The heavy, disassociated artist thing... Oh, it's the deaf thing. Maybe this will cheer you up.
[Derek let's himself fall in front of Jason's seat legs spread and is jumping around on his ass]
Derek: Oh, do me!
Thornton Melon: [to Derek] Derek! Get up, will ya? You look like the poster boy for birth control.

Ok, I'm stopping there because I have work to actually do. :)


Happy Panty Day!

It has been one of those days. I'm not sure where it went. I slept in, to start. That always makes the day seem like most of it is gone for me. Today's high was somewhere around 107. Damn.

Hot Rod had a soccer game today. He was lethargic, at best. It was hard to watch because of that. I'm wondering if he's sick.

Watched FC Dallas and my Kenny Cooper kick some Toronto FC ass on TV.

Watched Ringers off and on. I think I got what I paid for. *hint hint, I checked it out at the library.* It tells the tale of LOTR and the big fans called Ringers. It has some history about LOTR and parts of it are very interesting. Other parts are pure crap. *shrug*

One thing that has been good about being frugal is learning to make do with what you have. It has been a good lesson in how wasteful we've been. We've been checking out DVDs from the library. Not too bad. We watched Antz yesterday. Right now, Delta Farce. *shrug* It's free, what can I say?

A funny thing happened earlier, wearing something like this in red ... took Little Bit to the restroom after the soccer game when this exchange happened:

Little Bit: Momma, I like your panties. Those are soooo pretty.
Me: Thank you.
Little Bit: (really loudly) I bet those panties make daddy happy!

Of course, when I exit the stall with daughter in tow and my cheeks as red as the undies, there are two of the moms from our soccer team. One, in particular, grinned and said "I'm going to have to remember that one!" Great.

KC: Liberty Memorial

Kansas City doesn't seem like it would be a great destination for a trip, but it had so many surprises. There was one thing that Army of Dad and I were determined to see if nothing else and that was the Liberty Memorial, which is the home to the World War I national museum. I didn't get to see all of it because I had to work, but Army of Dad had a chance to go back and explore all of it. He is going to post about the museum, itself, for me sometime later. This picture shows the grounds. You see the Liberty Memorial tower, which you can go up to the top of, if you'd like. You see the carved stone Sphinxes, called Memory and Future. They guard the south entrance. Something Army of Dad noticed was that they both have their eyes covered. A gal at the museum told me why. The one pointed to the east is shielding its eyes from the atrocities of the battlefield and the one facing west is covering his eyes because none of us knows what the future holds. You also see two museum buildings up top on each end, designed like ancient temples, 93 feet by 46 feet, flank the tower. They had some extra items that weren't into the museum, which is below the tower. There is a lovely reflection pool in front of the entrance there.
The 217-foot tall Memorial Tower is magnificent.
The top features four large stone figures, designed by sculptor Robert Aitken. The figures represent Courage, Honor, Patriotism and Sacrifice. The tower diameter is 36 feet at the courtyard level.

The touristy-shot of us in front of the memorial.
Just inside the museum is the transparent bridge where you see a field of poppies below on a mock battlefield pock-marked with shell craters. The poppies represent those who died in the war. One of the neat aspects of the museum was the way they used all the space available. There were items placed under the floor in transparent spots, displays hanging from the ceilings as well. There were dioramas where you could put your head in a window-like opening and hear the sounds of the war while looking at a scene. It was incredible. I was there two hours and only saw maybe 60 percent of the museum at most. Thankfully we spent the day before exploring the grounds of the Liberty Memorial and didn't try to do that at the same time as visiting the museum. This museum, alone, is worth the trip to Kansas City.

A skank and Jabba Walk Into a Bar ...

There is most certainly all number of jokes here.

AP caption for photo:
Madonna poses with filmmaker Michael Moore at the screening of her documentary film 'I Am Because We Are' at the Traverse City Film Festival, Saturday, Aug. 2, 2008, in Traverse City, Mich. Moore is a co-founder of the festival, held each summer in Northern Michigan. (AP Photo/John L. Russell)

Knowing that I need to get in to the salon to have my roots touched up made this picture just jump off the monitor at me. If you had as much money as Madonna, wouldn't you think you could have your roots touched before you went to some event where you knew people were going to be seeing you? And, don't even get me started on Michael Moore and that beard and hair. I gotta believe there is a barber shop somewhere in Michigan that could give him a cut and a shave for $25 ... and pull out the peroxide for Madonna while you're at it.