Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

I'm tapping away on my keyboard when I hear all sorts of rapping on the skylight in the bathroom and look out the window to see the most enormous snowflakes on the planet falling.

The picture doesn't do them justice. I never see snowflakes this size in Texas. The kids, who finally went back to school this morning, are going to be bummed that they missed the snowflakes because they'll be melted before they get home as we're going to get up to 41 today.

That white blur on the bottom right was a giant snowflake. These things were like a half-inch big.

Wonders never cease.

Boy wizard grows up

Perhaps, I have another candidate for hunk of the week.

It seems there is abuzz going on about Daniel Radcliffe's nudity in a stage play in the UK. I read about him getting this part last year and I guess people didn't get all up in arms then because they weren't seeing the cutey-patootey showing what God gave him until now.

I have a feeling that teenage girls across the globe will be all atwitter over this. He's a cute boy. As far as alarm from parents about his image, I think it is much ado about nothing. For one thing, I doubt my Harry Potter-loving children would even know about his nude role if people weren't making a big stink about it. Additionally, he's what people call an "actor." That means they play various roles in performances. Come on people, relax. If he were joining a cult or advocating illegal drug use or something, then I could see some issues. It is a play. Don't want your kids to see? Don't take 'em. See. Problem solved.

Now, I think I need to go do some more investigating on those pictures.

It's a dirty job

But someone has to do it. No, not posting the weekly hunk. I'm talking about Mike Rowe on Dirty Jobs.

I certainly wouldn't do the dirty jobs he does on the show.

Of course, there is something appealing about a man who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty and work hard.

We love the show. Hot Rod was raking leaves a few weeks ago and after jumping into the middle of the pile and having to re-rake it and bag it, he looks up at me and smiles and says: This is a dirty job!


A choice I could go for

I would love to see Mike Singletary as the Cowboys head coach.

The former Baylor Bear didn't graduate before going pro, but he completed his degree while I was attending Baylor. I remember seeing him around campus some and that was really cool. I think he would be great to get the team on track and I don't think he'd put up with the BS either. Another plus, I think he might bring some new insights to the team.

We'll see.

AoM Hostage Crisis Day 7: The Nebulizer

I need to consult with the Marines at Gitmo to let them in on a little known, but well intentioned device of torture that I'm sure they haven't thought to use: The Nebulizer.

You would think it was the Chinese Water Torture that Hot Rod had to endure. But, apparently, there is nothing in the world worse than forcing this boy to sit still for 20-30 minutes with a little puff of air blowing in his face. Good Lord. And, I have to endure the endless whines of "how much longer?"

Worse yet ... Stinkerbelle is next and she is likely to be even worse.

On the bright side, the Verizon folks are here to install my FIOS cable and internet service. Best part, the dude is Gorgeous. Gorgeous with a capital G as in OHMYGOD, he's gorgeous. Did I mention, he's Gorgeous? Cute, young cowboy kind of gorgeous. Ok, back to tormenting the children and sneaking peeks out the window at the cute installation guy in between actually *gasp* working.

I did get to sneak out last night to borrow the nebulizer and go to Sam's Club. I never thought I'd be so excited about bulk shopping.


Day 6 of AoM held hostage

Yes, the rugrats loosened the ropes briefly to allow me to post. But, it really isn't the rugrats who are my captors, they are but just the minions of the true villian at work. We know this evil as "The Crud."

The Crud invaded last Wednesday night in full force when Hot Rod began running a fever of 101.4. From there, it has just gone downhill. Despite prescription cough medicine and steroids, he is still coughing like a barking seal in a circus sideshow. Fast forward to Saturday night and my brief respite away with Army of Dad to go see "Stranger Than Fiction", some bullriding and Josh Gracin. While we were away, The Crud attacked Little Bit, starting with fever and the overnight cough.

Sunday, she just laid in the floor watching TV. It wasn't until she climbed in my lap that I realized she was burning up. My folks didn't think to tell me that she was sick before that. I say to my mom "Ohmigod. She's burning up." My mom looks up and says, "Yeah, she was feverish and coughing all night." Gee thanks, mom.

I was up last night at 3:30 a.m. with Little Bit. She couldn't breathe and the fever returned. So, I set her up - where she is sleeping almost sitting upright - next to my bed. I get her a bottle of water, some Tylenol and the cough medicine. Then, I try to go back to sleep while fighting the mommy guilt of having left her with my folks Saturday night and not knowing she was sick while I was out having a break.

This morning, I had to contend with Pickle being pissy cuz he wanted to be sick and stay home, too. I finally convinced him that being healthy and going to school was better than being home with coughing fits.

So, I call the doc today and ask about using a nebulizer on the kids and the doc concurred. Hot Rod has been one of those kids who takes a month or longer sometimes to shake a cough. So, maybe we can speed up the healing process with the inhaled steroids since he is miserable and has baseball tryouts this coming Saturday. Not to mention that his grandpa - who we haven't seen in about three years - is coming along with great-grandma sometime early next week. We also plan to see Little Bit's godmother, who happens to be AoD's sister. She will be in Dallas on business next week, so we're going to try to visit with her during the two-hour break she gets in the evening between conferences and meetings. So, these guys need to get better sooner rather than later.

Plus, for my own sanity, I need them to go back to school. Being cooped up with them during the freezing weather and then having them stuck inside sick is just too much for me. So, tonight, AoD is going to pick up a nebulizer from a friend and we start breathing treatments on both kiddos. Wish me luck. I think I'm going to need it.


As long as you stay with me

I love having connections. Saturday night, I get to see Josh Gracin gratis at Billy Bob's in Fort Worth. I'm sort of excited about it. I'm not a giant American Idol fan, but I do tend to pay some attention when it gets closer to the end. I think I got sucked in when we had two local gals in the finalists the first season. Kelly Clarkson is from Burleson (about 10 miles from where my folks live).

In case you didn't know, Josh was a marine who got special permission from the military to participate in the American Idol competition. I really like the song Stay With Me. You can listen to several of his songs on his MySpace page at the link above.

So, free admission is good. Free concert, better. This allows us more money for booze and the
bullriding. One of my favorite things in life has been introducing my yankee-born honey to the gritty sport of bullriding. He loves to watch it now and going to Billy Bob's is always a treat. It is only about a half-hour, but it is fun. I wish we had the time and money to go to the Fort Worth Stock Show Rodeo. Now THAT is an awesome rodeo.

Pssst, over here

Just in case you didn't know it, Starbucks will still make you a peppermint mocha. My habit is getting worse since I discovered this.

Someday my prince will come

And, when he does, I want it to be Beckham on horseback.

I called in to a local ESPN radio show the night that Beckham signed with the Galaxy. The talking head wanted to know the appeal of Beckham. Just look at this picture, dude.

I mean, really now.

Wow. Every little girl's dream: a hunk on a fiery steed wielding a sword. Now, if he only had a Starbuck's coffee for me, paid for a year's worth of housekeeping and planned to give me a foot massage, he'd be perfect.

Forgive me, Father

In light of my son preparing for his first confession:

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest,"I almost had an affair with another woman."

The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"

The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, butthen I stopped.

"The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.

"The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that.You didn't put any money in the poor box!

"The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, andaccording to you, that's the same as putting it in!"

Dad's job

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up--- fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father's work, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is real good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic Nat'l Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."


Would you like some cheese with that whine?

Poor Hot Rod is sick today. Allergies Gone Wild would be the name of the video.

But, my non-stop child is now a non-stop whiner. He is miserable. The doc gave me an idea of how bad it is.

Dr Too-Tall: Vocal cords are supposed to resemble violin strings. Hot Rod's look like giant pieces of steak.

Awww. Poor baby. I've been drugging him pretty much for the past two days. Doc said he probably caught a bug on top of everything else while his immunities were down since he has had a fever of 101.4 pretty solid for the second day now.

So, every four hours we get the Tylenol and Duradryl. Today, we added four teaspoons of steroids to the matter. So, he'll be sick and pumped up. :) Don't tell Barry Bonds, though, because he might stop by and raid my medicine cabinet. Of course, he'll just blame it on Mark Sweeney.

24-48 hours. That's what Doc said it will take to get the kiddo back up to full Hot Rod status.

My other kind of futbol

Ok, I love soccer almost as much as football. Here are a few videos worth watching.

This fella came to my Poison post and left me a link to another version of it, so I checked out his blog and found a soccer highlight reel. Me and the boys watched this over and over, rewinding to see incredible plays, giant owies and some gut-wrenching near-misses.

Then, we have a training video for taking a dive. When AoD refs, he gives cards for this. He hates it when people take dives. But, this is funny.

May your shots always go in the net, may you never be offsides and may you never get a red card.


I couldn't resist

Power hungry Speaker Pelosi takes things yet another step too far challenging President Bush to arm wrestling.

Especially heinous crimes

Are investigated by the special victims unit: *bom bom music*

This week's hunk of the week is Det. Elliott Stabler aka Christopher Meloni. For the daring ladies, you can see an R rated pic here. Apparently, he was on Oz and got naked on there at least once. I missed that. For the most part, he portrays a family man who wants to do the right thing. Gotta like that.

This is from his website.

Ruggedly handsome. You won't find any man leggings or a manpurse on this guy. Ok, unless he is playing a gay dude on some show. From what I could tell, he is very popular with the gay community.

He could use a shave here, though.

Not great quality, but a very nice relaxed smile here.

Enjoy ladies.


What to do when football is over

Well, I know what I'll be doing on Sunday afternoons once football ends: Nascar, baby.

Now, the rules have been changed to help make The Chase a little more fair. We'll see if it works.

I'm just looking forward to this again:


I've been on edge for a couple of weeks now. I can't put my finger on it, but I feel like I'm in a permanent state of PMS. *scary, I know*

Well, it is only going to get worse now. I applied for a job at a local newspaper as a business writer. I worked as a daily reporter for seven years before moving into the realm of business writing for a variety of publications and PR stints here and there. I've been writing professionally for going on 16 years now. Scary, huh?

So, now begins the waiting to hear from someone about an interview. I hate waiting.

Mmm, dinner

Weirdest thing to see on the way home from running errands: about eight vultures hanging around the front yard of a house around the corner from our place. It was a bit disconcerting.

Then, I see the appeal: a dead oppossum in the front yard. Check it out on the bottom left part of the picture. Hmmm, yummy. Was gross watching them pick at the carcass, too.

I didn't have my camera for the first swing by, but thought Hot Rod would delight in seeing this on the way home, so we went by to see it. The vultures were not happy with my presence across the street snapping pictures from the minivan, so several flew off before the shutter snapped. It is weird that we are in the city, but still in the country. There isn't a way to any of the three kids' different schools in which we don't pass some sort of livestock, whether it is cows or horses.

Temper tantrum

As my 4-year-old sits in her room pitching a fit as we speak (she is tired and needs a nap, but doesn't want to sleep), I can appreciate how hard it is to deal with a tantrumming (is that a word?) child.

Sometimes they don't want to calm down or the time of day is bad, the kid may not feel well - all kinds of reasons for a kit to pitch a fit. However, I think the airlines was more than fair giving these people an additional 15 minutes past take off time to help calm their child before removing the family from the plane. If this 3-year-old was hitting her parents and hiding under the seat, it sounds to me like mom and dad have let the child have control rather than assert their authority as parents. This was probably not a first-time offense for this child, I'd be willing to bet. I think the parents got out easy by getting to fly home the next day AND get free passes from the airline. Could be that the child needed a nap or whatever and flying the next day was a better option for the kiddo. Who knows? But, I wouldn't want to be on a plane with that kid or her parents.

National Pie Day

Ok, now I may have to dig out the homemade pie crust I put in the freezer on Christmas Eve and make a pumpkin pie for the family in honor of National Pie Day today.

Hat tip to Kelvinator.

There's not much cuter than ...

When Little Bit gets undressed for her bath, looks over her shoulder at me and says:

I've got a cute little butt!

I'm in trouble


Na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye

And, good riddance.

Don't let the door hit your ample ass or man boobs on the way out.

Let me back up a moment. I was really excited when Big Bill came to town 4 years and 20 days ago. But, the love affair soured and I realized I was misguided in my devotion.

Now, we have the fear of the unknown lying ahead cuz we all know that Jerry Jones is a "football idiot," quoting Randy Galloway.

*sigh* Now, I fear the unknown.

Go vote, please

If you get a chance and haven't voted yet, please go lend your support for Sgt. Hook in the milblogger contest. He would like to win the money to help fund a trip to DC later this year for a milbloggers' convention.

He's a good guy, go give him a vote.

He was one of the first blogs I ever read and he really motivated me to have an interest. He was my first blogroll, too. So, we have some web history together.

Da Big Game

Da Bears

There is a certain team that we'll be cheering for in the upcoming Superbowl and it would be a team that begins with a C, ends with an O and has a cog in the middle. Now, I still loves me some Peyton Manning (much to AoD's chagrin) and I won't cry if Da Bears lose, but we'll be cheering for Da Bears.


The next time

When you're so angry at your husband or your children and think you'd just like to run away; when you are so fed up with life that you just wish you could fall off the face of the earth; or simply when life gets unbearable: think about saying goodbye.

Beware. I have been bawling for 15 minutes straight. But, the images are so powerful. I've talked about the loss of a soldier's wife to cancer. This is the couple's baby saying goodbye to his mom in her casket.

I can't think of any words to say to express the sadness I feel for this family. I feel sad for the mom that died. My absolute worse fear is to lose one of my children. My second is to die before they grow up. I have seen what happens to children who lose a parent and I don't want to do that to them. I want to be there to see their first dates, their first heartbreaks, their first everything. I can't imagine knowing I'm going to die before they're grown and she had to endure that along with the pain and suffering of being sick and unable to care for them even when she was still living. I feel sad for the husband/dad. He has lost his partner in life. His love and companionship is gone and now he has to try to be both mom and dad to three children while serving his country. No small task. I feel so awful for those children who will grow up without the love and support of their mother. God love 'em.

Hey now, you're an All-Star

Should be an interesting weekend in Dallas as the Metroplex prepares for the NHL All-Star Game at our beautiful American Airlines Center next Wednesday.

I bet traffic is a mess, though.

Go Stars.


Global warming

My ass.

This is a plastic golfball frozen in the wheelbarrow where we collect rainwater to use on the plants.

And, then, a shovel in another bucket of frozen rainwater.

Ooh yeah. It is supposed to get up to 46 on Saturday. Downright balmy after this past week. I live in Texas, for God's sakes. We aren't used to this for more than a day or two at a time.


Just like broccoli

It appears that housekeeping is good for me.

I heard about this study a while back, but had tried hard to forget it. But, apparently "experts recommend that women exercise for 30 to 45 minutes five times a week to reduce their risk of breast cancer." And, apparently this study shows that moderate housework is just the type of work to do the trick.

All those years I thought Army of Dad was just being a butthead while he watched TV and let me clean. Nope, turns out that he was just looking out for my breast health. Aww, he really loves me after all.

Snow Day

Another day cooped up with the kiddos and they are stoked to have a snow day.

My eldest was home today, but he opted to stay inside and stay warm instead of freezing his keester off.

A new sport was invented: snowball tennis.

My neighbor's kids invented wagon-sledding-jousting. I'm sure the neighbor across the street was excited to have the kids jousting their mailbox, but at least it is brick. It is more likely to hurt the kid and the broom more than the mailbox.

Thankfully, my kids weren't asking to do this.

I got the fireplace started and now will bundle the kids up for Round 2 in the backyard. What normally takes Army of Dad 45 minutes to get to work took him almost two hours this morning. So, hopefully he will leave around lunchtime today. We won't get above freezing today, either.

I'm going to get cabin fever before too long.

I double dog dare you

Perhaps, it wasn't a good idea to let the children watch "A Christmas Story" over and over during the holiday season.

Without a Trace

This is one of my favorite shows. I just discovered the reruns and now I'm addicted.

It features a wonderful cast and of course, a cute boy never hurts things. Eric Close is a great actor and easy on the eyes. Enjoy ladies.

Very handsome guy.

And, I bet he doesn't carry a manpurse either.

If you haven't caught the show, but like cop shows, check TNT out on Wednesday evening. Four hours of the show in syndication. Can't beat that.


Ice ice, baby

I warned you - more ice day pictures.

He looks so happy there.

He thought it was cool to jump on the ice covered trampoline.

Him and that winky face. Look dad, he has your chin!!

Happy girl.

Getting warm after playing out in the ice.

My fun picture: can you tell what it is? The moms of preschoolers will recognize it. It is the back side of a Cozy Coupe car. I just thought this was a neat angle and shot.

Here is the corner of the house as the ice started melting in the sun. Wasn't much on the ground, just on the slick surfaces. There is still some in the roof corners. Worst part of all this is that my washing machine in the garage froze (like it did last year) and I spilled water all over the garage floor. *sigh* One more thing to take care of. Yuck.

No, thank you

To the mom at Chick-Fil-A:

I really appreciate you bringing your two sick pre-schoolers to Chick-Fil-A today and for allowing them to romp, cough and wheeze on the playground. It was a wonderful accompaniment to my meal, too, listening to both of your children cough so hard that they are on the verge of throwing up. The snot running out their noses was a nice touch, too.

It was wonderful how you didn't make either of them wash their hands with the anti-bacterial wipes provided by the restaurant (for free and conveniently located outside the playground). It was an added bonus how you gave me a dirty look because Stinkerbelle didn't want to play with Typhoid Teddy and get sick.

The best part, though, was how you let the children run and scream through the restaurant, too, when they weren't coughing at the table and sharing germs on the playground.

On second thought, your consideration is much appreciated, but in the future, I'd rather not have you bring your little disease-infested children to share their germs with my child. I know it sucks to be cooped up in a house with sick kiddos, but perhaps you can confine the contagious kiddies to the sick room at the doctor's office instead. There are lots of things to play with there and other germy kids who won't mind so much.

Me and the other moms who shot you dirty looks while religiously wiping our children's hands with the anti-bacterial wipes


Sgt. Hook Goes to Washington

Go vote for Sgt. Hook for best mil blog so he can win some cash to head to the nation's capital.

Texas sledding

Well, we finally had enough ice on the driveway to let the kids go "sledding" in the laundry baskets today. I know Pickle will be disappointed he missed it (he's at his dad's this weekend.)

The kids have been chomping at the bit all weekend to get out, but the rain just hadn't frozen enough for sledding. This morning, however, we had ice on the driveway and the kids were ready to go. And, in case you're not from the South, we don't have much need for sleds here, so the laundry baskets suffice.

Here they are ready to race.

The boy's racing face.

And, "helping" sister.

She was cracking me up. She'd come down the hill with a look of terror on her face, then she'd get to the bottom yelling "Again! Again!"

The kids were in heaven. More pics to come.


What a football weekend

I think I've developed a new favorite weekend for football - the divisional round. This weekend has been full of great games.

What a great way to spend a day with freezing weather outside.

Crackling fire - check
Homemade potato soup - check
Homemade no-bake chocolate-oat cookies - check
Great football - check


In case you didn't notice

I got prolific tonight because I felt human for the first time this week because I felt decent for the first time. Along with the Mountain Cedar that blew in this week came the following symptoms:
1)the sensation that my throat had been raked over with a cheese grater
2)the feeling that sand had been poured into my eyes; they were weeping, itching (an understatement) and starting to have spasms from the irritation
3)sinus headache
4)runny nose alternating with stuffiness (which is frustrating when you go from not being able to get the snot out and the inability to breathe, to minutes later having to run for a tissue because snot is running out like water from a leaky faucet)

So, anyway. I went to the doc this morning and he gave me the shot that returns my life to me. I think it is steroids. Shhh, don't tell Barry Bonds or he may develop some severe allergic rhinitis or whatever the doc calls it. Doesn't matter, I feel alert and good for the first time in a week or so.

I have my nasal spray, Rx decongestants (which are awesome) and he gave me a sample of some antihistamine eye drops. They burned like hell at first, but they cleared my vision and eyes right up. Good shit right there. I highly promote improved living through chemicals. Of course, that contradicts my Bonds hatred, but it is better living through LEGAL chemicals. How about that caveat?

I did get to hear my favorite Coolio song on the way home tonight, too, by the way. Check this out if you want to watch some skinny college girl shake her moneymaker to Coolio.

The weather outside is frightful

Hellloooo! We're in Texas. We're supposed to have mild winters. What the hell is up with the highs being below freezing till Monday?

I took Little Bit to visit my folks this morning. She was going to stay all night with them and come home tomorrow morning. The whole reason for this was so I could take my boys to a roller skating party tonight without having to worry about Little Bit wanting to skate. Well, it was all a great idea. That is until I got behind an accident so bad on the freeway that it was closed both directions while the CareFlite helicopter landed to transport people. A drive that normally takes an hour took me more than 2.5 hours. The boys were fine. They had snacks, drinks, Over the Hedge DVD and each other. Mom, on the other hand, was a basket case by the time I got to the skating rink. Add to that, a large diet coke on the drive makes for a very full bladder. Just saying is all.

So, on the drive, I'm talking to Pickle's dad (Uzz) about how we were going to hand off the child. Add to all this that it is raining all this time, too, adding insult to injury. Army of Dad calls to tell me that the ice storm warning or whatever was moved up to start at midnight tonight with accumulations starting overnight, so he wanted me to go pick up Stinkerbelle from my folks (it is an hour south of where we live and about 40 miles or so from where the skating party was. *sigh* So, we made arrangements for that.

It was a long day of driving. But, it was a good day. My daughter loves her Granny and Papa and I got to talk to them more about their 50th wedding anniversary. I got to see my uncle, whom has never seen my daughter and whom I hadn't seen since my grandpa's funeral almost eight years ago. I got his contact info, so I can call my aunt and find out how to invite my dad's side of the family to the Golden Anniversary shindig. The boys had fun at the skating rink, even if they can't skate to save their lives. I got to see my bud briefly. I also got to take out my traffic frustrations on a bitchy teenager who cussed at Hot Rod for bumping into her. She was lucky I didn't pull her hair out. She wisely didn't sass me. I could tell she thought about it, but she smartly opted not to. Reminded me of why I am actually glad to be 38 and not going to skating rinks anymore. Also reminds me not to let my children go to these places without a chaperone. They turn into little assholes while unsupervised. I want to be hiding behind the foosball table to thump the kids on the head. Anyway.

Between picking up Little Bit and getting home, I saw two different single vehicle accidents on the road. I drove a very slow (for me) 55 to 65 on the way home. The roads were slick and it is/was a matter of time before the roads froze over. Plus, I had hit some slick spots and skidded briefly going as slow as 40. I would venture to say that these wrecked out individuals were the people who passed me going 70+. We made it home safely and both kids were conked out by the time we got home. GOod thing. I'm looking forward to a cold weekend at home with a crackling fire place (I loaded up a mini-van's worth of firewood from my dad's house - he cut down two trees earlier this week); good food and some fun and games with the family.


God help us

Further proof that our country may go to hell in a handbasket if we don't do something soon.

Special place in hell

Ok, again, I'm hoping Bubba, Leroy and Pablo make these guys their bitches in prison. If you have a weak stomach or a daughter in college, don't go read what these asswipes did.

The crime story reminds me of news clippings my mom used to send me during my freshman year in college. Mom wrote me almost every day and about every other day, she sent clippings from the paper about how men abucted women, raped them, etc. I think she was trying to remind me to be safe, but it really creeped me out.

But, this story is one of those that defies safety. You feel safe with your boyfriend. It didn't help this poor woman. I hope these violators get anal probes and STDs.

There was much rejoicing

Lots of praise for the discovery of BOTH of these missing boys and here's to hoping their kidnapping becomes the bitch of the biggest, nastiest, smelliest ass-rapist in prison.

And, don't even preach to me about forgiveness. No way, no how. He deprived that 15-year-old of more than four years of his childhood and provided years of anguish and torment to his parents for all of that time. And, people wonder why I'm so over-protective of my babies.

This is example A.

If you like pina coladas

I am such a candidate for that short-lived (right?) reality show where they set up people who like to sing and dance while they drive. I think it was on Mtv or Vh1, but I can't remember. I do recall watching that show and fearing that one day, I would be the featured person.

I LOOOOOOOVE to crank up the music and sing and dance while I drive. Only thing is that I always have children in the car and not all the music I like is appropriate for them, plus only Stinkerbelle likes all of my music. The other two like bits and pieces.

So, today, I had the boys in school; Stinkerbelle was with her Granny and Papa. So, I turn off Rush Limbaugh - I'm conservative, but I can only take him in short bites - and started channel surfing between the new station was 107.5 (which is awesome - plays old hip hop like Bel Biv Devoe and then current stuff like Justin Timberlake and in between with Shaggy) and the MISD 70s channel and then the alt rock channel and a few in between.

I had to crack up some motorists today because I let loose. A sampling of the music I enjoyed at full blast:

Fat Bottomed Girls (my anthem) - Queen
Escape: The Pina Colada Song - Rupert Holmes
You Dropped Da Bomb on Me - Dazz Band
The Kill - 30 Seconds to Mars (ultimate sex song, this guy's voice oozes sexuality)
Tainted Love - Soft Cell
It wasn't me - Shaggy
Poison - Bel Biv Devoe (could I be this lucky?)
Night Fever - Bee Gees
Crocodile Rock- Elton John

I love having the mom-mobile to myself sometimes.

Pigging out with Paula

I decided to try out a recipe I found in the Neighborhood Shopping supplement that was in my mailbox this week and ohmygosh was it tasty!!!

It is a recipe from Paula Deen Celebrates and I highly recommend it. We would probably suggest cutting back on the butter and I think I used potatoes that were too small because we didn't have enough taters in the dish. I followed the eight potatoes rule rather than the four pounds, I think.

Enjoy the Twice-Baked Potato Casserole

8 medium baking potatoes (about four pounds)
1 (8-oz) package cream cheese at room temperature
1/2 cup (one stick) butter, softened
1 pint sour cream
2 cups (1/2 pound) shredded sharp cheddar cheese (divided use)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1/4 cup chopped chives for garnish (we used garlic chives from our herb garden)
6 slices bacon, cooked, crisp, drained and crumbled for garnish

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Pierce potatoes and place on baking pan. Bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes, until very soft.

Peel and mash potatoes in large bowl with potato masher or back of fork (I put up the skins in the fridge to make potato skins for me this weekend!) Add cream cheese, butter, sour cream and one cup of cheddar. Stir well. Add garlic, salt and pepper, and stir again.

Spray a 13x9 inch baking dish with nonstick cooking spray and place potato mixture in dish. (If you are doing early prep, you can put plastic wrap over dish and put in fridge till ready to cook.) I made mine immediately.

When ready to bake, preheat oven to 350 degrees F. If you had the casserole in the fridge, cook for 30 to 35 mintues until hot. I put mine straight in the oven from the counter-top prep and baked for 20 minutes. Once you take out of the oven after baking, sprinkle remaining one cup of cheddar over top of casserole and return to oven for about five minutes until cheese melts. Garnish with chopped chives and crumbled bacon before serving. Makes 10-12 servings.

Per serving: 446 calories

I highly recommend this dish. We served it with grilled pork chops. AoD makes some good pork chops!

The real culprit

Looks like we've discovered where Barry Bonds gets his meth.

Bonds has two heart cells

Well, it looks like Barry "Roids" Bonds took the high road and apologized saying that Mark Sweeney never gave him anything and didn't have anything to do with his positive drug test.

Color me shocked. Pleased, but shocked.

Update:Sweeney's Response.


Hey, you!

ArmyWife ToddlerMom says it is Official De-Lurking Week.

So, that means all you people who just stop by and look are supposed to leave me a little comment.

Hmm, wonder if this stuff will work for me? Who's with me?


Got an appointment for all three kids to have their teeth cleaned at the same time. Won't that be fun?

Squirrel Olympics

I'm going to have to go outside with my camera to record this historic event. I believe the squirrels are now moving from the sprints to the field competitions on my office roof. I just hope the javelin or shotput don't fall through the roof.

Thrown under the bus

I hate Barry Bonds anyway. But, when he threw my buddy under the bus, the gloves are off.

WTF? He just pulled a random, no-name player out of his ass to crucify and he picked one of the nicest men in MLB to screw and I am madder than hell.

Uzz and I became acquaintances/friends with Mark Sweeney and his family while Mark was playing for the then AA Angels in Midland. He was - and is - the All-American guy. He was kind to everyone and very patient with the fans. His parents were gems. They sent me a shirt from their hometown for "taking care of their baby" while he was away from them. They live in the Cape Cod area and were glad to know some families were babying the players - I made the boys brownies and embroidered the Midland Angels logo on to pillow cases as a souvenir of their time there. Little things, but ones these bachelors appreciated. But, I digress. Mark is one of the cleanest men in baseball that I met during my tenure stalking, er, being a fan of the Midland Angels. Seriously.

Barry Bonds is an asshole. If his mouth is moving, he's lying. You can bank on that.

*putting away soapbox*

Big Announcement

Little Bit: Mom! Come look!
AoM: *dashing into other room to see DragonTales is over*
Little Bit: I want to watch something different.
AoM: *flipping between Disney and Nick Jr*
Little Bit: Ewww! I'm too big for the Wiggles!

How the times have changed

About seven years ago, my next door neighbor was a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) and I was out in the workforce. I used to cringe when I'd see her taking the trash to the curb in her nightgown with her hair all sticking up from not brushing it yet.

I'll never be like that, I vowed.

Ahhh, how the mighty have fallen. I was running behind this morning (yes, I know, nothing new) and I had to skip fixing my hair, washing my face and even brushing my teeth to get the kids to school on time. Eww. I felt scrungy, to say the least. I can throw my hair in a ponytail and not breathe on anyone, but it is nasty.

I thought of my neighbor and all the times I said "if I were a SAHM, I'd get up and get dressed, fix my hair and put on makeup. I'll feel better about myself and be more prepared for the day."

Ha. *shaking my head and heading for my make up and hot rollers*


Need a laugh?

I recommend not viewing this site at work, because you will laugh out loud (especially if you are parents) and then a colleague will come over and realize you're not working, but effing off looking at blogs and you'll lose your job and then I'll feel guilty.

So, go look and read with that caution in mind.

These are the Top 10 Most Ridiculous Products for Baby.

Hat tip to my friend, CW, who has two adorable little girls, a cute husband and a great ass and nice set of hooters. *I once commented to my husband that CW has a nice butt, hoping he would tell me I have a nice butt, too. Instead he said "Go get on the stairstepper like she does." Swear to God. Love the man, but he doesn't beat around the bush.*

Golden Anniversary

Sometimes I get myself in over my head and then as I'm sinking, I wonder what I was thinking at the time.

I just started planning today for a 50th anniversary party for my parents. They'll mark the occasion this June and I figured I better start planning now.

To-do list:
Email my brother and sister-in-law to tell them to mark their calendars - check
Call the church where I grew up attending to book room - check, sort of
Find out from church that I need a current member to sponsor me - check
Call my best friend's grandmother to see if she'll sponsor me - check
Wait for return call with availability after secretary finds the church calendar - check

Now what? I'm totally clueless as to how I'm going to do all the rest. Ok, clueless is a bit of an overstatement. I've planned weddings and baby showers. How hard could this be? Probably really hard when both of my parents balked at the idea of me giving them a party when I mentioned it last year.

*taking deep breaths*

At least I'm starting six months ahead of time, so I should be able to do a little each month, so it won't be so overwhelming when the time comes. I'll have to start compiling a list of people to invite and find ways to notify the people they grew up with. I have no clue how I'm going to do that. Maybe mom will let me borrow her address book. It will be sad, though, as my mom's best friend died a few years ago. I know she'll miss having her there. I guess I can start sending out notices to my family to mark their calendars.


Urban living

Congrats to the Florida Gators Coach Urban Meyer on taking the team to the championship game in just his second year. I'm sure the ladies appreciate him because he's cute, too.

Wonder what he was pondering in this picture? Using Tebow or Leak for the next play maybe? Or was it what he was going to have for dinner that night?

I like these reading posters.

I'll have a bowl of Gators Flakes with my Peyton O's.

And a bright-eyed Urban Meyer when he signed with Florida a couple of years ago. He's come a long way, baby.

Looks like Albert is going to chomp him, huh?

The great Gator Nation rejoices. My Florida in-laws are stoked. Little Bit's godparents (AoD's sister and her hubby) are Gator grads, so we have to be Gator fans.


Put me in Coach

I'm stoked that Cal Ripken Jr. and Tony Gwynn both made it into the Hall of Fame, but I'm terribly disappointed to see that Bert Blyleven and Goose Gossage were once again passed over. That's messed up.


Hometown boy does good

Happiness abounds, thus far, in the Army of Mom household as the Gators are kicking some marijuana leaf (i.e. Buckeyes) ass.

But, the story for us is watching hometown boy, Jarvis Moss, stand out for the Gators defense.

I'm just guessing QBs cringe when they see 6'6 255-pound No. 94 coming.

Not a fan

Since we watched The Benchwarmers, we have a new catchphrase in our house: Not a fan! (and you have to say it in the goofy high-pitched manner for it to work) ... but I digress. It was the first thing to pop into my mind with the Rosie O'Donnell-Donald Trump feud that is going on.

I'm not a fan of Trump. For one thing, he stole my catch-phrase. I've been telling people "you're fired" since 1996. Then, he started the show and bam, my phrase is always attributed to him. But, again, I digress.

I have not been a fan of Rosie's for many years. I interviewed a little girl in Midland who was picked for a show on Nick about weight issues and Rosie (go figure) was the host for the show. The girl's mom told me how fake and rude Rosie was. She would act all concerned and sweet to the children when the CNN cameras (who were doing some news piece on Rosie) were on. When the cameras weren't running, she was reportedly a bitch. And, apparently, she was rude to all of the parents and made it clear to them that she didn't have time to sign an autograph for them or even chat with them. It has just gone downhill from there. Of course, her politics and mine couldn't be farther apart either.

But, her comments that fat women everywhere were offering her words of comfort cuz Donald called her fat just made me cringe. I'm not petite any more, but I have no sympathy for her and her hateful words. You expect that crap from Trump. But, she can't seem to let it go either. If you're so above this little feud,why don't you be the big person (pun intended) and let it go? No? I'm not surprised.

Never trust a big butt and a smile

Ok, I got YouTube to finally work on my computer, so now I'm already blowing off my New Year's goals of not procrastinating. I have been looking at a bunch of different things.

I have to admit it: I'm on an 80s kick. This is just one of those songs that I loooooove from my youth. Poison by Bell Biv Devoe. Awesome song. But, here we go again with the ugly clothes. Gees, I never realized those styles were so bad. *shaking my head*

And, then, toss in a little nerd factor and be ready to laugh hysterically. I found a Bobby Brown tune that is a Star Trek karaoke featuring a Spock barbie doll singing the Bobby Brown tune and showing a Captain Kirk doll doing the Beavis and Butthead spank dance on Uhura. There are more, too.

Then, this one is not for the kiddies. You can see the homoerotic and very well done version of NIN's Closer with Spock and Kirk.

Last month, we were taking our team of 12-year-olds to a soccer tournament and several were riding with me. I made the mistake of letting them turn on the radio and Shortie Like Mine by Lil Bow Wow and Chris Brown came on. This one kid is singing away and I asked him what a "shortie" was because I'm thinking all kinds of foul things. So, I finally looked it up and it is harmless. It means girlfriend. Go figure. I need to get my mind out of the gutter.

Happy Feet gangsta style and more Happy Feet.

And, one more: Ok Go on the treadmills. Great one. Mazurland guys hooked me on this one.

Have fun avoiding work!

Go Gators!

I may have to seek refuge somewhere this evening as the Florida Gators take on the Ohio State Buckeyes for the national championship. Both Army of Dad and Hot Rod are wearing Gators shirts today. Pickle was leaving for school and asked me where his Gators shirt is, too. So, I may have to go find it for him.

My Cowboys prayers didn't work, so maybe if we just light a prayer candle for the Gators we'll have better luck.

An open letter

To the mom at school this morning who was whipping through the parking lot while talking on the cell phone,

That little girl you didn't even see that you almost ran over has a mom who loves her very much. Unlike some moms, she admonished her daughter for not watching out better. Obviously, she had to explain, there are moms who don't look out for kids while driving through the parking lot. Also, you really shouldn't park in the handicapped parking spot right next to the school when you're able bodied. There are people who use that spot each morning because they are truly handicapped. I saw a dad the other day have to park at the other end of the parking lot to get his son and the boy's wheelchair out of his car. I'm sure he would have appreciated using that spot that you had occupied. Also, was that phone call really so important that you had to be on it instead of paying attention to your surroundings? I know we all have those crappy mornings when we're running late, but is that one tardy for your kid worth potentially hitting a child and occupying that handicapped space and preventing folks who really need it from using it? Is it so hard to just pull up to the curb and let your kid out if you're running that behind?

I just don't get it, people.

Signed, Army of Mom

p.s. To the stupid parents in the parking garage at the children's hospital today: don't let your 5-year-old run through the parking garage about five steps ahead of you while you're playing chase with the child and making him run giggling in the driving lanes. Not the best of ideas unless you're planning to sue the hospital.


M-O-O-N spells Army of Mom

Flipping channels tonight and we came across the mini-series "The Stand" and we have to watch. It is such a good story.

But, I can't think of this book or mini-series without thinking of The Alarm. Great tune, but beware of the scary 80s style again. We had the big hair, goofy homo boots and sleeveless shirts. Why did skinny guys insist on wearing sleeveless shirts? *shuddering*

But, I'm vowing now to head down to Recycled Books and get The Stand to read as soon as I'm done with Eragon.


I would just like to know why the networks feel compelled to show commercials for horror movies or other mature audience-focused commercials during major sporting events like NFL games? Do they just not care that kids are also watching these games? Our kids sit and watch the games with us and usually we can get to the clicker in time to change the channel before they see someone getting effed with for The Hitcher or Black Christmas. But, sometimes we go use the bathroom or get up to grab a drink and we're not there in time to turn the channel and the kids are freaked out.

I understand the "need" for these commercials, but they can't save them to run during 24 or some other adult-oriented show? I think of sporting events as family events. I know the target audience are probably males 17 and older, but there are a few of us out there outside of that demographic and it is really irritating.

*putting away soapbox*


More football

Watching KC Chiefs No. 54, Brian Waters making some plays. Sort of fun to watch a UNT graduate in the NFL playoffs.

And, rest in peace, Darrent Williams. He graduated from the same high school where my brother graduated, O.D. Wyatt High School in Fort Worth. His funeral was this weekend in Fort Worth. He had two children.

We're halfway there

Ohhhhh-ohhh, we're living on a prayer!

To quote the words of the great Jon Bon Jovi. But, yes, I took my fellow Cowboys fan and we went to my little prayer corner and said some serious prayers that America's team can beat the Seattle Seahawks this evening.

Go Cowboys!


Mooooove it on over

I played hooky from work on Wednesday and spent much of the day with one of my buddies. We didn't know what we wanted to do, so we met up in Cowtown and traipsed through the Stockyards.

I have no idea what the story is with CJ here. She was outside of one of the stores. She may give me nightmares. She looks like a floozy heifer.

The livestock exchange building. You can go in here on certain days of the week and watch the cattle auctions. It is pretty interesting to watch these old cowboys at work.

Every day at 11:30 a.m. and 4 p.m., the Fort Worth Herd heads through the Stockyards.

There are real-life cowboys and cowgirls, too. There is even a real live longhorn steer that you can sit on for a photo if you slide the cowboy a five or something. A few years back, I put the boys up there and took a picture.

And, then, there is the pokey. Little Bit saw this picture and asked me why I was in jail. I should have told her I'm a prisoner of love. :) Yeah, that's it. I need more silly days like this.

Ringing in the New Year

New Year's Day.

It is a day of resolutions, bowl games and contemplation. It is also a day of naps.

In my office/family room.

In the front family room.

I think it is a fine way to welcome 2007.