Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


One down, one to go

I survived our first day of the international media event. My muscles are sore and I'm a little bit hung over, but I did it.

Friday, I spent the the first part of the afternoon escorting the maintenance guys in and helping unload and set up tables and chairs for our expert panels. Then, I had to escort the caterers to set up their tables, etc. My upper back is very sore and I didn't do near as much as those guys. I bet they're hurting this morning.

Then, my team of folks - here's the hierarchy: head honcho, asst head honcho, minion- (I'm the minion) had to come back and change quickly for a cocktail party for the journalists. It was a lot of fun. But, hell, chocolate creme brule (I know it isn't spelled right, sorry), Mexican pulled pork and coffee encrusted steak (didn't like that one) ... and three Cape Cods will put you in a downright good mood. Plus, I had a chef flirting with me. That was nice. I learned how to salsa dance from some hot Salsa dance team. A few of us women went out there for the lesson and then the high school boys and one male journalist came out, too. The boys were from the Booker T. Washington Jazz Band. They're the only Latino-salsa high school band in the country. They were AWESOME. These kids are so talented. Washington is a Dallas performing arts high school where Norah Jones and Eryka Badu and the Spin Doctors all attended. I think some big time actors went there, as well. So, it turns out great performers. Some 16-year-old was leading me on the dance floor. That was fun, too.

Here is me and the asst. head honcho at the event:

I am back to the media event for the day. I had a few minutes while waiting to escort the caterers over. Wish me luck. Two Alleve later and my head is STILL pounding.


We've ALL done this before

This is so funny. We have all done this, but the rest of us are just smart enough NOT to let someone record us on the webcam doing it.

Going under

Sometimes I feel like I'm going to be sucked into quicksand. I have so many things all around me that need to get done and I have to sacrifice one thing or another to accomplish anything. I hate this feeling. But, what it is really weird is that I'm in a good mood in spite of it.

This weekend, we're doing a special event with international media, so it means lots of running around and getting stuff done. I LOVE this part of the job. I really enjoy being out on site and coordinating and assisting. I get to meet lots of new people. I'm not a boss, but I'm not a complete minion either. So, it is a lot of fun. Time goes by quicker. I get to dress a little nicer tonight for a cocktail party. My coworkers won't recognize me in nice clothes. My boss gave me a nice compliment in a teasing manner. I asked him if I could actually wear a dress (not that I'd want to - I HATE dresses, I'm such a tomboy). And, he joked that at the last event we did I caused a disturbance among the men working and I was in khakis that day. What might happen, he said, if I were to show some leg? I laughed and said my legs aren't what most guys are noticing on me. What do YOU think? *pssst, here's a hint: men don't typically notice my face first. I've learned to go with it.



It has been one of those busy, busy weeks.

I took the boys to the dentist on Tuesday. Good news and bad news. Pickle had a great checkup. No cavities and he is through losing baby teeth. He is even getting his 12-year molars. He is 10 1/2. So, we'll be taking care of those choppers. Hot Rod, however, had less than good news. But, I knew to expect it. He has a mouth full of decay. So, we'll be putting him in the hospital to have extensive work done. Won't be fun and will be expensive, but he is happy at the idea of getting to go to sleep and then wake up and have the dental work done.

Pickle got in trouble yesterday at school for discussing boobs on the playground. He is definitely a chip off the old block. I think I was in the fifth grade when I got in trouble for drawing girls with boobs and pubes. I tried to talk to him about it, but he was embarrassed. I tried to tell him not to be embarrassed, maybe I'll share the drawing story. However, I hate to give him any ideas since he is quite the artist.

Stinkerbelle was rocking out yesterday to J-Kwon's Everybody in the club getting tips. Cracked me up.

Gotta get ready for work, sorry for the lack of posts. But, hey, how about Pay-Rod and 10 ribbies? Wow.


On the job

I took some folks from Delta on a tour the other day and someone emailed me several shots of the new terminal. Here are a few with me in them.

This is the art medallion and my backside.

The next shot is going into the baggage claim. I'm at the bottom of the escalator.

One of the airport photographers took my picture in the ticketing hall today. We'll see how that looks before posting it.

This came out of nowhere

Not sure exactly what I did today to deserve this one, but thought I'd share this thoughtful email. The one thing I will say is that he pointed out a typo for me to correct and that was appreciated. It is fixed now. I have always had a hard time editing my own copy, so THAT was good. But, as far as the rest, I could have done without it. I'll reprint it in whole here.

Subject: Thank you so much
...for one of the funniest pages I've ever read. From the pathetic soccer-mom "timeout" stuff to believing every single thing you're told to beLIEve, this is hands down one of the most hilarious sites I've yet to come across. Seriously, though, as someone who personally lost a loved one in one of the towers, your blindness, callousness, and hijacking of that tragedy for your so-called "patriotism" is disgusting, so I have decided to respond in kind. The bit about the fire that killed 3 people sounding like a nursery rhyme was a real kneeslapper. Your idea that Bush Jr. should be admired(!) for sending our kids to kill people in Iraq(who didn't attack or pose any threat to the US) is fascinating. This is the same man who mocked a woman on Death Row's pleading for her life. Sincerely, Rufus Porter
P.S. I've heard that the more rugrats you shit out(or in your case, get cut out) the closer you get to sit to Jesus in Heaven so get crackin" on some more.
Small typo tip: In your "Why I created Army Of Mom" section, in the last sentence "technical" is spelled wrong. It would read better if you fixed it.

I understand people not agreeing with my politics. Fine. Either post a comment or send me an email debating your issues in a civil manner. I can agree to disagree. Obviously, this person didn't "get" the criticism regarding the fire post. I didn't think it was funny that three people died in a fire. I thought it was funny the way the stupid reporter worded the story. As far as losing someone in 9-11, I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm sorry if you don't agree with GWB (who is not a junior, by the way, if we're going to be "technical" about it - see, I can laugh at myself when I deserve it). But, I really don't see why you felt compelled to make some personal attack on me. Your diatribe about me "shitting" out children is very compassionate. And, you call ME callous? I think I could find someone a little more qualified than you to judge me about the kind of person I am.

And because I'm trying to be more PG than R rated, eat tartar sauce. Oh yeah, and fish stick yourself.

In the spotlight: Army of Dad

Sworn Enemy did the interview meme and Army of Dad volunteered to answer five questions. So, here they are.

1. If you could have only one firearm what would it be and why?
Oh God, only one!? I suppose my Grandpa's old shotgun since it also has a slug barrel I would be able use it in more situations.

2. What do you see as the most imminent terrorist threat to America today?
I go back and forth on this one all the time. Either an attack on a commercial airliner with a shoulder fired missile or an attack by gunmen on large groups of people (malls, fairs, sporting events). They key in the second scenario is that the gunmen attack, wreak mayhem and then flee. If two Islamic pricks could make an entire metro area cower in fear (Malvo, Muhammad, death cocktails, party of two) just imagine what a medium sized group could do.

3. Have you always been Conservative, or was there a gradual change? Or was there a "changing moment", if so, what was it?
I have pretty much always been a conservative, though I might not have identified myself that way. At any rate, I don't recall a defining moment.

4. You were in the Army; what, if anything, would you change about today's Army?
Pay and training. The attitude about training support soldiers for combat was really poor when I was in. They concentrated more on PT and less on shooting, or tactics. I hope the Army learned the right lessons from the 507th Maint. CO. disaster.

5. If you had to live in a country other than the U.S.,where would it be and why?
There really isn't any place else I could stomach living. I suppose if I had to move it would be to Australia. Seem to be good folks. Maybe we can get rid of some of the pussy-ass laws if enough Americans emigrated. They have the best chance of remaining a freedom loving people outside of the US.


I made it through the day

It was a hard day. I saw my friend for the first time in a couple of years and it was hard to only get a few minutes to give her a hug. But, the gang was there and I think she appreciated knowing that we were there for her. Funny, I thought a lot during the funeral about my own mortality and my own life. I wondered how people would remember me. Betty was remembered as a woman who lived for her children and grandchildren. She was meticuluous in all she did and was a good friend. I loved Betty like a mother. My friend even mentioned to the group that while we were growing up, our moms were interchangeable. They are all like moms to us. They treated us as they would their own children when we were with them. That may mean that they chewed our asses or it might mean that they hugged us and kissed our boo-boos. But, they were moms to us. Betty was, too. I can't imagine what it is going to be like for KS from here on out. Her dad died in a car wreck when we were in the sixth grade. So, now KS has lost both of her parents. This was sudden, too. Heart attack. But, KS got to say goodbye to her mom. I'm sure that meant the world to her.

I looked at my friends and felt so good to know that while we don't see each other all the time, these women are the people I could and can turn to for support through anything. We are good enough friends that we don't have to see each other all the time, but we still love each other and would drop the world in the blink of an eye for each other. I'm so blessed to have so many wonderful friends. I truly am. I hope that when my time comes, I have standing room only at my memorial, too. I hope that people laugh more than they cry and I want someone who knows me to talk about me.

I made time tonight to play a game with Hot Rod and I gave him a few extra kisses for him to wipe off at bedtime. I know KS and her daughter are going to miss those special times with Betty.

After the service, the girls went to eat lunch. We wished KS could have been with us and shared the giggles. I also learned that two boys I dated were in legal troubles. One is in prison and one is a registered sex offender. Oops. At least I'm better at picking men now. The girls also want to take a cruise this summer. I laughed at the thought of AoD letting me off duty for that long. They didn't get the humor in it. Silly girls.
Here we are outside Macaroni Grill.

We were the popular girls in high school, I think it is fair to say. The girl on the fornt left was the homecoming queen and a cheerleader. The girl on the right was the mascot. The girl beside me was the FFA sweetheart at her school and Miss Teen Arlington or something like that. I was the basketball sweetheart. KS was a cheerleader, too. I miss these girls. We had a good time before and after the tears.



I guess some irritated Greek found an old post from the Olympics last summer and left a nasty little comment. I find it very amusing, personally. Don't know if you remember, but the Greek fave to win the 200 didn't show up for drug testing, then had an accident. The Greek fans whistled (our equivalent to booing) so the race coudn't get started on time.

Dillweed points out that the Greeks are the hotbed of education. Thanks for the tip, buddy. Now go back to work guarding your bridge from the Three Billy Goats Gruff.

Favorite T-shirt

I'm going to get one of these T-shirts. I'm just not sure that I have anyplace "safe" that I can wear this. I think the soccer fields are probably out of the question.

Stupid ad

Here is a picture of the stupid ad I bitched about a while ago.

Ashley Judd is holding a picture of it here - her in a long white formal gown playing in the yard with a dog. Yeah, nothing speaks to me about what kind of make-up I'm going to wear. Plus, I know exactly what kind of lipstick is appropriate for frolicking in the park with my lab while wearing a long dress. That is good information to have. I do that all the time, you know.

Stop to smell the flowers

We went to the iris farm today and it was beautiful weather. I would have had more fun had Hot Rod not asked over and over when it was time to go. He kept hoping for a hayride or something. But, to no avail. Gadlfy rode his motorcycle over and met us at the farm. He said he needed some "wholesome" fun. I think he just needed a good reason to stock up on his condom supply. My children tend to have that effect on my single friends.

We started off well enough. Here are the kids when we first arrived.

Hot Rod and Stinkerbelle stopped to smell some irises.

Stinkerbelle already had a rock at this point.

Gadfly picked his favorite - wing commander.

Then, the kids became more fascinated by the rocks than the flowers. Not sure where Pickle learned that move unless he has sneaked into the bedroom without us knowing it.

They did enjoy smelling the cut irises.

I love this iris.

Hot Rod loved Gadfly's helmet and the reflection it made. He said it looked like the master chief in Halo.

We didn't buy any bulbs, but I'm going to place my order. We'll pick them up in August to start planting for next spring. I'll get my mom some for Mother's Day. The gift that keeps on giving.

Sad news

Funny, an old Beatles song keeps running through my head. A day in the life.

I read the news today oh boyabout a lucky man who made the gradeand though the news was rather sadwell i just had to laughi saw the photographhe blew his mind out in a carhe didn't notice that the lights had changeda crowd of people stood and staredthev'd seen his face beforenobody was really sureif he was from the house of lords

*shrug* Not sure what this song.

The mother of one of my childhood friends died. Her funeral is tomorrow. I was at the iris farm with a friend and my family when I got the call from another friend. It was surreal, but it didn't hit me until I called my boss to tell him I'd be leaving work early tomorrow to go to the funeral. I don't know what she died of but I'm pretty sure she had cancer years ago, so who knows if it was that or not.

Ironically, I was going through my emails today and found this from my sweet sister-in-law and it is appropriate. Keepers was the subject.

One day someone's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more. No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute. "Sometimes,what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away . never to return before we can say good-bye, say "I love you."

So while we have it . . . it's best we love it . . and care for it .. and fix it when it's broken .. and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage . . and old cars . . . and children with bad report cards and dogs with bad hips and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a classmate we grew up with. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what. Life is important, like people we know who are special . . . and so, We keep them close!

I received this from someone who thought I was a 'keeper'! Then I sent it to the people I think of in the same way. Now it's your turn to send this to all those people who are "keepers" in your life.


I'm not a big fan of goofy chain emails, but this may be one of those silly little ones worth passing on in memory of Betty Stringer.


Smiles for everyone

Last day of the regular season today and it was a good one. We had a end of the season party at the home of one of our parents and it was like Six Flags. They had a big piece of land and great yard for kids. Fun was had by all.

Pickle almost had another goal today, too. Shot went wide. We still won big. Undefeated. Two ties. Still division champs. Another parent had T-shirts made for the boys with the team name and champs on the front. On the back had their names and numbers. The boys were SOOOO proud of them.

Our little team with Hot Rod at the far left.

Our big team before they got their "champ" t-shirts.

Now, here they are after their champ shirts. They were happy to do the No. 1 sign.


Jessica Simpson is so deep

*please note the sarcasm*

She's hot. Yes, indeedy. She is so hot that I could switch teams for that gal. But, Army of Dad doesn't have much to fear in that realm. I don't think she's on the market.

But, I digress. Again.

Summer movie previews predict that Star Wars will be a little sad and then Jessica offers this great insight into her character of Daisy Duke of the "Dukes" movie coming out in August:

"Daisy's an all-American girl," Simpson said. "It's very empowering for a woman. She's a badass but can use her body at the same time. I think that's a really cool image to put out there for women."

Yeah, that is so what I want Stinkerbelle to grow up and aspire to be: a badass hoochie. Um, no.

Bad boys, bad boys

Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

Ok, that song is going over and over in my mind because my kitchen looks like one from a Cops episode.

No longer can I avoid cleaning it. I must clean tonight.

Either that or I'll make Army of Dad wear a wife beater (you know, those undershirt things?) and have him swilling cheap beer from a can and smacking me around. So, when the cops come and the baby is wearing a filthy filled up diaper and nothing else with her bottle full of Dr Pepper, I can proclaim how much I love him and don't want them to cart him off to jail.

On second thought, I'll clean the kitchen.


I am so glad that it is Friday.

I have a few tours to give today and LOTS of things to do this weekend. I was hoping to sneak away with Army of Dad for some time alone on Saturday night, but I'm not holding my breath.

After work today, I have to come up with awards for our soccer end of the season party tomorrow. It looks like we won't be getting trophies before the party, so that does NOT help. But, such is life.

We have our last regular season soccer games tomorrow and then our party afterwards. I hope all goes well. We're doing it differently this year with a cookout at a parent's home.

I'll have more insightful stuff to blog about later ... I hope.


Must have been the shirt

Yesterday was wildly flattering. I think it had to be my green Tommy Hilfiger polo shirt. It is just a big old poly/cotton blend polo style shirt. Nothing special, but maybe it makes my green eyes sparkle or something. I don't know.

Went to meet with a publisher I'm working a side job for and he is one of those studboys that is TOO good looking. You know the type. I sensed that he was a football player in a previous life and as I looked around his office yesterday, there was all the TCU college football stuff from his playing days. He has that square jaw, tan, blond hair ... carries himself in a cocky fashion, very self-assured. *shrug* Not my type. I know that shocks everyone because just about every male is my type in some fashion, but he just doesn't do it for me.

But, regardless. I walk in the office yesterday in my jeans, Tommy polo and my hair in a pony-tail and he looks at me and says very matter of factly "You look really pretty with your hair pulled back."

That was just a very nice thing to say. He has that kind of confidence that he wasn't worried I was going to take it the wrong way, which I didn't. Was just nice to hear.


The smell of popcorn is wafting over my cubicle. With my stomach still in an iffy way, I think I may heave.

Do the math

Having the poops + 45 minute drive to work = miserable commute

I think the combination of a partially eaten happy meal and large soda at lunch, about three bites of corn and macaroni and cheese for supper and then a giant cafe mocha at 9 p.m. in a smoke-filled coffee haus did a number on my stomach. I won't give the graphic details, but I think I maxed the daily dosage of Immodium AD in about the span of 45 minutes. Of course, this didn't help me to sleep well. I dreamed I was being stalked by some weird couple who wouldn't stop calling or emailing me. Then, I dreamed that some woman accused me of mistreating Hot Rod.

Totally weird.

Think my tummy is mostly better now. I'm just REALLY bitchy today. World, beware.


I'm baaaacccckkkk

Was in a bit of a doldrum (is that the right way to say that?) for the past few days. Just sort of down. I'm tired and feeling a bit overwhelmed.

But, then I went on the construction site today.

Ahhh, nothing like a bunch of horny construction workers with no women to look at to brighten my day. I got an "Ay, mammi!" from a cute young Hispanic boy. Maybe 19 or so. Cute one, too. Then, I got a nice, long, hard eye fuck from a very attractive blond guy. Wowsers. Nothing like that to make a woman feel pretty good about herself.

Plus, I was regaled with the sexual escapades of a recently separated coworker who found her hunk of burning love and shared all the juicy details with me.

Now, I think I'm ready to go home. How early is too early to put the children to bed and jump my extraordinarily hunky husband tonight?


Cloudy skies

Thank goodness for the overcast conditions. Because of the cloudy skies, I've gotten out of working late Monday and today. Photographers want to shoot those lovely Texas skies with the pink sunsets over the new terminal. None of this overcast crap.

And, I think I've got a new job title: Babysitter to Photographers

For the past three weeks, most of my escorting duties have been with photographers. Not that I'm not used to it. My ex is a photog and I worked at newspapers for years with photographers. So, I kind of like these artsy assholes. Oops, artsy fishsticks. Tartar sauce.

Thank God for the Y chromosone

Back in our college and St. Elmo's Fire years, Uzz was a long-haired hippee and I was a barefooted earth girl.

When we got pregnant with our eldest, we toyed with goofy girl names that we thought were great. We had Penny Lane for one, but our favorite was Strawberry Fields. We thought we'd call her Fields for a very trendy unique name.

WTF? I can't even blame it on drugs because we didn't dope up and we seldom drank. Thank God the Good Lord saw fit to bless our child with a Y chromosone.

This tangent was brought on by hearing Penny Lane on my way to the office from lunch.

Are you ready for some football?

It's Monday night and do you know which station your Monday Night NFL game is on? Nope, guess again. Starting next year, it will be on ESPN.

I'm not sure what I think about that.

Bye Bye Lance

Lance Armstrong is calling it quits after this summer's Tour de France. That is a shame. He has done so much for bringing cancer to the forefront of the public's eye as well as to the sport of cycling. I have even been sucked into the Wear Yellow campaign. I just placed my order for the yellow Livestrong bracelets. The proceeds go toward providing education and support to young cancer patients and their families. That was me many years ago; 29 years ago to be exact. I was a cancer patient and now I'm a cancer survivor. When I learned that is where the funds are going, I jumped online and bought a package of bracelets to give as little gifts to family and friends. What a great cause.

Now, if Lance could only get gal pal Sheryl Crow to eat a sandwich and put on a few pounds, they'd make a good looking couple. *shrug*

Viva il Papa

Welcome Pope Benedict XVI.

Is it just me or does the Viva Il Papa (long live the pope in Italian) make you thinks of Who's Your Daddy? Ok, so it is just me.

Wave your hands in the air, like you just don't care ... everyone now .... ok, guys on the left. Now the girls. Can I get am Amen? This crowd is da bomb!

Ok enough goofing off. I hope we have a good one. LabKat - shhh. I know how you feel already.

Even sadder

Flowers sit on Baylee Almon's memorial chair in the Field of Empty Chairs at the Oklahoma City National Memorial Monday, April 18, 2005. Monday would have been her 11th birthday. She is the little girl in the Oklahoma City bombing photo being carried by the fireman.

There are more victims, too. The heroes who helped save lives. The people who carried out the dead. Little Brandon Denny who suffered severe brain injury in the explosion. He was just an infant at the time. An innocent little child whose only crime was that he was in the building. This will be a hard day.

10 years ago

It was one of those "where were you when" moments that you will never forget. Thinking about it now, I have to fight down the tears that are welling up in my eyes. I remember it so vividly. My baby was so tiny and fragile. I had just dropped him off at daycare and was on my way to the newspaper to get to work when I heard about an explosion at a federal building in Oklahoma City. I was living in Midland at the time. OKC. Never dawned on me that it would be some act of terrorism. Who would do something like that in OKC? Really. I mean, come on. New York, Chicago, D.C. Those are the places you expect terrorists to strike. Not Oklahoma City. I just assumed it was some kind of natural gas explosion, etc. Then, I learned the news that it was a terrorist attack. Then, I saw the coverage on TV. I still remember the name of that sweet angel the firefighter was carrying from the wreckage. Little Baylee's lifeless body still reverberates in my mind. Nothing hit me harder than watching children being rescued from the building. One child, in particular, made me weak in the knees. This child was wearing a Lion King outfit exactly like my son's. I almost fell down because it struck me so hard. It is still so upsetting to see the
pictures of the aftermath. One shot on this slideshow features a boy who was brain damaged in the attack. He survived, but will forever be changed. So many will be changed forever by the actions of a few misguided men.

The guy in the picture below lost his mom in the explosion.

A couple of years ago, Army of Dad took me to the Oklahoma City National Memorial and it was very hard to handle. It is a must see for anyone who can go there. When I read about the Field of Chairs, I thought it would be a lame part of the memorial, but it is actually very poignant. As I looked at this picture, it brought tears to my eyes. What really hits you are the 19 little chairs for the children. It is very powerful to see in person. At night, they illuminate the bottoms of the chairs and it is incredible to see. The reflection pool is a nice touch, too.

So, today, hug your children a little tighter. Tell your spouse how much you love him or her and be grateful for your life. It is a good reminder to all of us.


Monday morning

Man, this is Monday and it is crappy. I woke up and discovered an email that I missed Friday in which I had to do some writing for FIRST THING this morning for some sidejobs I'm doing. Was doing that at 6:30 a.m. to get it done. Then, I broke a nail and cut my finger getting Stinerkebelle off to school. Got stuck behind an accident on the way to work and spent 30 minutes waiting to go less than a mile. I get to work and I started my period. G-string underwear are not conducive to wearing pads. Now, I find out that I have to escort some people on a tour this afternoon, however, no one can tell me what time and how many people. Great. Can't wait. I may start drinking.


I love irises because they are so easy to grow and they smell so good and are so beautiful. Not very far from home is a wonderful iris farm called Argyle Acres. I've never gone, so I hope to make a trek out there this weekend and see what they have to show. Should be lovely.

Irises are so pretty. Army of Dad especially likes the purple ones. We have about five different varieties of irises in our yard. Some small light purple, large purple, small dark purple, some pinkish-lavendar and some giant white ones (lots of the giant white). They're great for spring color and aroma.

I'll try and take some pictures of our irises, too. I've been working in the gardens around the house for the past two weekends before it gets hot. Now, I need to tackle the back yard. It has been pretty neglected.

My new niece

I finally got a picture of my new niece this weekend. This gal is Army of Dad's sister and her hubby. The baby girl was born April 12. She was 6 pounds 14 1/2 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long. This is baby No. 2 for the pair. They have a son who will be 2 in May.

Welcome to the family little girl. Be prepared for a dysfunctional ride. ;)


These gals need sandwiches

And, I'm talking big old Dagwoods, too.

Go vote for hot chicks in photo booths at Stuff magazine. These gals are very cute, but I think I would laugh myself hysterically to pose like this in a photo booth. Then, of course, I'd make myself throw up after looking at the pictures of myself semi-clothed.


Tartar sauce

Kasey Kahne has been kicking Nascar hiney all day. So, now, 100 miles left to go and he wrecks.


Kasey Kahne's chances for a Texas sweep went up in smoke when he nailed the wall in Turn 4.

Everybody was kung fu fighting

I just always sing that song in my head when the kids are at karate.

Here is Hot Rod doing a kick for the camera. He is enjoying it.

New blogroll additions

Go check out my new category of blogs that I read. I added student bloggers. I like these kids and their blogs are pretty good for high school and college.

At least two people keep me from weeping for our future.

Alli and Cashin

Go read 'em and tell 'em Army of Mom sent ya!

Interview Meme

Ok, my first victim, er, interview is Alli from Ranting Fox. I'll ask her five questions here, then she actually posts the questions and responses at her blog and she seeks five victims, too.

Here you go, Alli:
What influenced you to choose the college you're attending? Why do you like it?

Do you find it hard to have conservative viewpoints in the liberal environment of college? How do you handle it when people are all up on Michael Moore's dick?

What kind of surgery did you have on your shoulder? Can you still swim?

Do you do monthly breast self-exams? You should if you don't. Do you have an annual "female" check up each year? You should, if you don't. If you don't, why not?

How much longer do you have in school? What part of the country do you hope to live and work in after graduation?

There, now it is volleyed back into your court. Comment here when you've answered the questions and posted.

Art installation

Part of the construction project that I'm working on/for includes a $6 million art program. It is so exciting to watch the installation of these artworks. There are going to be 20-foot diameter medallions at each gate house (where you get on board your planes or disembark from them on the concourse). This is the first to be installed. All of these were created by local DFW artists. This is the first one to be installed. It is a mosaic designed to resemble Cypress Trees. The installation is done by people from Italy and Germany. It is very neat to watch them place the floor. I can't believe people are going to be walking on it. Other art projects include sculptures, paintings and more medallions as well as the terrazo floors in our automated people mover stations. It is such an exciting project to be a part off.

Here is a picture of the guys working on the floor and a closer picture of the medallion itself. It is beautiful.


It was great to watch the end of the NASCAR Busch Series O'Reilly 300 Saturday on TV. My man won the race. Army of Dad thought the race today started at 3, so he and his friend got a late start getting over there. I hope he makes it on time.

Stupid race commentators kept calling Texas Motor Speedway "The Great American Speedway" like that was its name. Its just the slogan people.

Although it is sort of sad, some girl I met last night at an event said Kasey is only like 5'5. I'm only 5'2. I'd still do him.



Today. It.Happened.

Pickle scored his first goal in four years. His last goal was in the under 6 "herd ball" leagues. He was so beside himself. He has cried at the end of the last five or six games because he wants SOOOO badly to score. Our team is good and he has a lot of competition to get his foot on the ball around the goal. But, today, it happened.

I was so happy for him that I ripped off my shirt and ran around the field Brandi Chastian style.

Not really.

But, the sound of GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL echoed through my head. The sidelines erupted with cheers because we all knew how badly he wanted to score. I had to fight back tears, I was so happy for him to finally get his goal.

Not a pic from today, but this is my boy on the move.

Congratulations son.


40 cases of beer

That is how much beer Army of Dad's buddies have bought to take to the Nextel Cup Samsung/RadioShack 500 race weekend festivities. Good God.

Their tickets are on turn 3 because "that is where all the action (i.e. wrecks) will be."

*shaking my head*


Troy Aikman will do the ceremonial "gentlemen, start your engines" and George Lopez will do it in Spanish. Not that any of the drivers speak Spanish, but they see the lure of dollar signs as more Mexican folks are going white trash.

I plan on buying AoD a disposable camera to record the festivities. I don't trust him drunk and horny with my nice camera. I've heard it is like Mardi Gras with chicks flashing their boobs for beer. NOW, I know why the guys bought 40 cases.

Texas Motor Speedway is one of only four big tracks where Jeff Gordon has never won. I bet he wins this one. TMS Exec Eddie Gossage said on WBAP this morning that Gordon is his pick.
USA Today has race info including those stats about Jeff Gordon.

My hopeful winner ... Kasey Kahne. I could definitely be the meat for a Jeff Gordon- Kasey Kahne sandwich.

Kasey is the young one. But, if you know me, you knew that already.


*wiping my brow*

Just called the plastic surgeon's office to make sure that we were going to have a pre-op visit before the tummy tuck to address all of my questions and concerns and the nurse said "you're going to have the breast reduction, right?"

Uh, no. Not voluntarily. Now, if the lump in my left boob is still growing, I imagine we'll do some whittling on it then, but let's not jump the gun.

What a jerk reports that Russell Crowe berated staffers at a restaurant who mixed up the actor's check with a fan's, who took the mix-up as an opportunity to ask for an autograph. Crowe also yelled at the fan, accusing her of orchestrating the whole incident.

The Star-Telegram added this little editorial comment:
Note to fan: Next time this happens, keep the check, because Crowe's credit-card number could be a whole lot more valuable than his autograph.

I agree.

Beware and back away slowly

I think PMS has set in. I've been feeling rather pathetic for no real good reasons. After my initial elation at the insurance-provided tummy tuck, I started getting really worked up (and not in a good way) about it last night. I started worrying about how badly my stretch marks will show if that skin isn't loosely hanging there as it does now. Then, I started suffering a bit of an identity crisis. For 10 years, I've bore the battle scars of giving birth. I've had three children since 1994 and each time, the incision scar got worse, the stretch marks bigger, etc. But, they define who I am. I'm a mother before I am anything else - a woman, a wife - those are secondary. So, does the erasure of these battle wounds change who I am? No, but they may redefine me. My breasts have been both for pleasure and to nourish these children. I've had moments when it was hard to think of them as anything but a way to feed my babies. When they had that role, they were pretty much off limits for anything else. With the lump discovered in my left breast, I re-examined the way I feel about my breasts and how much they really identify me as a woman and are part of what makes me feel sexy and truly feminine. I think my stomach is the same way. I joked with a friend about how I can start wearing mid-riff shirts without fear of scaring small children and infirm old women after this surgery. But, I'm getting scared.

Just for the record and for the scoffers who think I'm taking advantage of my insurance company, after the birth of my third child in 2002, I developed an infection in the incision as a result of the staples. It erupted and left an indentation in the scar. The worst part is that it has never truly healed. Unless you weigh 100 pounds, the belly flops over the scar. For me, this exacerbated the healing of this infection and it has never truly completely healed. Regardless of how clean it is, it will get infected with no good cause. I have been to three different gynecologists (other than the one who did the last c-section) and asked them about this. All of them pooh-poohed me about it being no big deal. That is fine for you, you're not the one with the inflamed red painful infection on your stomach every few weeks. This is so embarrassing, but I think I should tell folks about it.

I went to the plastic surgeon last month to discuss having a mole removed from my face. It isn't cancerous, but skin cancer runs in my family. I've had cancer in my face before and I just don't like the mole. So, I went to discuss its removal and Army of Dad suggested I ask him about my c-section wound. The doctor took one look at it and said "that isn't right. You should not have to live with an infection all the time." The only thing to fix it is a tummy tuck. So, voila. With one surgery, I'll have two issues tackled at the same time.

I suppose I really don't look that bad now compared to any other friend of mine who has had three kids. I just don't look like I did pre-childbirth days. I alternate going from excitement at the prospect of wearing a midriff shirt to feeling weepy worrying about pain and complications and my coworker's response to it. She is being a bit aloof since I'm taking two weeks off in the midst of our big projects. I understand to a certain degree, but still makes me sad. I was hoping she'd be happy for me. She is calling it "elective" surgery. The timing is elective, the surgery is not, to me.

Anyway. I saw an interview with Carnie Wilson about how scary it was to go from being that 311 pound blob to being a thinner person. She almost felt sad at the loss of the person she was before. It sounds stupid, but I think that is some of what I'm going through, too. I'm excited, but I'm scared, too. I hate surgery. I hate all the IVs and needles. I hate pain. I know recovery is going to be hellish. But, I also know that I'll feel so much better about myself afterwards.

I know much of this is PMS. I really do. I treated myself to a grody lunch at Pancho's today. Just me and the Star-Telegram. Flipping through and reading, I happend upon the obits. Big mistake. One was a newborn baby, complete with this angelic shot. Another was a 41-year-old mom who had fought brain cancer for years. Gees. Had I not been in the restaurant I would have blubbered like a baby, but I fought back the tears and flipped the page. Life is such a blessing and here I am feeling sorry for myself because something really good is about to happen to me. I'm going to get this ongoing health issue addressed AND look better at the same time. Hormones are so evil sometimes.

Bumper sticker of the day

Pain is part of life,
Misery is optional.

I like that. I think it had some 1-800 number on there for a narcotics anonymous or something like that. But, I can use that motto today. Feeling REALLY sorry for myself.

Random thought

Just went to wash my drink cup from work - it is from Campisi's in Dallas - and reminded me that a recent Playboy centerfold from a few months back works there. She's the owner's daughter or something. Very pretty girl. Sort of a weird nose, but gorgeous figure. One thing really grossed me out, though. One picture shows her pouring olive oil down her thighs and it was running onto her cooch. That is so bad for you. If you didn't know, you should never put anything in your vagina that isn't made to be put in your vagina. It can cause urinary tract infections or yeast infections. No food stuff. No whipped cream, nothing. If you want that kind of stuff, the adult stores sell things made for that with flavors and such.

Don't know how I get off on these tangents.

Is it Friday yet?

At least my allergies have let up, so that is good, but I am dog tired AGAIN today.

But, at least it is Friday.

Hot Rod had to move his "color" in Kindergarten this week for calling some kid a weenie.
*rolling my eyes*

I've had so many things to blog about and can't remember one of them right now. *sigh*

Beautiful race weather this weekend. Has to be a first. I don't remember a race weekend in recent years like this.

Lots of tours today at work. Hopefully that will make the day go faster.


I'm so excited

That stupid Pointer Sisters song (That would be "I'm so excited" for Army of Dad, Alli and Cashin - since you kids are too young to remember back that far) is running through my mind.

I just found out from the plastic surgeon's office that I will be able to have my tummy tuck next month and insurance will cover it because it is reconstructing some issues created by my last c-section!!!! I just can't believe it. I am about to bounce off the walls or lapse into another bad 80s song by Lionel Richie "Dancing on the Ceiling."

No one can possibly fathom how excited I am at this very moment. I started crying when I got the news that I could schedule it and get it done!!!! My boss was about to cry at the prospect of losing me for two weeks, but I'm going to try and get a laptop and a blackberry and work during that time. If I could create eight to 10 stories per week after a c-section, I can certainly maintain my high standards of excellence after a tummy tuck. OHMIGOD!!!!

I'm beside myself with excitement.

Get it right!!!

If you don't live in the Metroplex of Fort Worth and Dallas, you don't know about the rivalry between the two cities. Fort Worth natives (like me) naturally feel that Fort Worth is far superior to Dallas. And, we take things VERY personally.

O'Reilly Automotive screwed up royally. They printed out shirts that showed Texas Motor Speedway in Dallas and not in Fort Worth. Oops. They sure know where Fort Worth is now. Hundreds of local residents contacted the company this week, saying they were offended by a T-shirt promoting Saturday's O'Reilly 300 Busch Series race.

"It was just a stupid mistake," said Ron Byerly, O'Reilly's vice president of advertising, marketing and training. "We definitely would never do anything like that on purpose. "

No kidding. They recalled ALL the shirts and corrected their faux pas.

Not that I'm bitter or anything

Today, I get the privilege of leading a tour for the publisher who authorized my "position to be eliminated" in December 2001. He had owned the newspaper I worked for when his board of directors gave him the boot for bad business practices. He managed to regain enough financial support to buy the publication back. At this point, he comes in and does a big meeting telling us that nothing will change, our jobs are secure, blah, blah, more BS, and blah.

Slowly, but surely, people dropped one by one. I had a great cushy position making good money as a writer on the payroll as a full-time employee and being allowed to telecommute. It was awesome. The boss I have now was the editor and set up that gig for me. We both benefitted. I got to stay home with my new baby (at that time, he is now almost 6) and they got more copy out of me than any other writer that worked for them. Then, the dude bought the newspaper back. After his 'nothing will change' meeting, things immediately began to change. Two months later, I was called in to the office for a meeting and told that my services were no longer needed. Just like that. No warning. No severance. Nothing. My position was eliminated, I was told. Oddly enough, the paper hired two new straight out of college reporters as soon as my "position" was eliminated. However, I think the bent over position still exists there. Oh wait, wrong "position."

So, today, I get to walk this man around and show him how good I am to have the job that I have now making almost twice what he was paying me back then. He won't give a crap or a second thought to it. But, I will feel some sense of pride in feeling that I'm giving him the virtual finger and the "nanny nanny boo boo, look at me" dance. He should remember me. I won some nice awards for his publication. I will give him props for paying for me to go to Austin to receive my awards and for giving me a $500 bonus for the awards. But, the whole "position elimination" replaced by two new reporters to do what I was doing before ... sort of cancels that out. Silly me.

Not that I'm bitter or anything.

Interview Meme

Kathleen at Baggage and Blathering had posted an interview meme and I volunteered to participate. She posts the questions on her blog and then I have to answer them on mine and invite fellow bloggers to join in something similar. So, anyone who wants to do this, send me an email and I'll make up questions for you, too.

Here was what she had at her blog:
A late entry to the meme, my virtual bud Army of Mom has agreed to be victimized. Bwahahahahaha!
Here's how it works, AOM: I've posted your questions here. You'll answer them over on your blog, and then add a comment here so I know you answered 'em. Then, find five willing intervieweees of your own, and ask them each five questions.

And now, to the questions:
You recently went back to working outside the home (sucks not to be independently wealthy, yes?), and it seems that you like your job. If education, family, finances, etc. were not a consideration, what would be your dream career? Why aren't you doing that now?
I do like my job. If I didn't have a family, my dream career would be to be right in the thick of things covering things like the war in Iraq or hanging out with women in Afghanistan and covering their efforts to gain more rights. I would be a foreign correspondent or covering politcs in D.C. Why am I not doing that now? I chose to have a family and they come first. I won't be the next Daniel Pearl. As far as dream job that is attainable with my current situation, I'd love to write some books. Why aren't I doing that now? I say it is lack of time, but it is probably more honestly fear of failure and rejection.

What's the one thing you've done that you really wish you could takeback?
There are some silly things I'd pick that impacted the route I took with my life. I wish I wouldn't have been in such a hurry to get married and waited till I grew up more and had lived as an individual before I made the leap to have a family. I wish I would have gone to England when I had that chance as a freshman at Baylor instead of staying home to see my boyfriend.

Do you have a storm cellar at your house? If so, how many times have you used it in the past year?
We don't have one. Our safe room is the pantry. We have hidden out in there probably two or three times in the past year. That is about the average for us. We are usually scared shitless while we're there and trying to put on a brave face for the children and make it seem like a fun campout. Unfortunately, I think they sense the danger. Or it could be the gale force winds or warning sirens that trigger it.

When it comes to disciplining the kids, are you the good cop or the bad cop?
It depends on the situation. I can be a hard-ass, but between Army of Dad and I, I'm the good cop. He says I'm a sucker.

When are you going to get your ass to Tennessee so we can hang out,drink beer, and misbehave?
We'll put you on the list of places to go. I have a LONG list, so don't hold your breath. I have been several times in recent years because my brother and his family lived in Memphis for a while.

Do I have five volunteers or do I have to start drafting people?


Photos galore

I've been behind on my picture posting. So, here we go.

These are my kids downtown on Saturday night.

Here are the kids and Army of Dad at the old-fashioned soda fountain downtown.

I think this is about it. I signed up for Typepad today and hopefully, we'll be up and running this weekend if I can tear LabKat away from her packing long enough to hook me up. God, I better never tick her off. She has all my passwords to everything.

Poor doggies

This whole flu strain thing is kind of scary. My whole family was born after 1968 and I was a November 1968 baby.

But, what is funny is that one of the radio dudes I listen to said his wife thought that the "labs" mentioned in the story were dogs, labrador retrievers. I cracked up.

In my best Scooby Doo voice:
Ruh-roh Raggy. My rab rends are rucked.

Race weekend

Race weekend is fast upon us. The Nascar Nextel Cup is this Sunday at Texas Motor Speedway and Army of Dad is going with one of his friends. He got the word today that his buddy has an extra ticket waiting for him. *sigh* Me? I get to stay home ALL day Sunday with youngsters. I can't even drive to Fort Worth because the traffic on I-35 will be a nightmare. So, we'll hang out here and play Candyland and blow bubbles.

But, I may have a new Nascar guy to cheer for courtesy of MindMatters.

I'm an aunt

I was hoping to have a sweet newborn baby girl picture to post, but alas, not yet. Sweet new baby girl. I love new baby smell. So clean, so sweet. Wish I could be there to hold her.

Dad passed out during the birth. He passed out, too, when at his son's bris. I guess that might make any man a little woozy - seeing your son's manhood messed with in front of the world. I suppose when he recovers adequately, he'll email me some pictures and I'll share them.

Your furry blog update

Well, my buddies at it comes in pints want to be known as the lesbian gorilla blog. I'm your Furries blog. Looks like there is a local group. Hmm. I'm free May 3. Who's with me?

The Dreaded Book Meme

And so it goes that I have been selected to unleash my skeletons on the world. LabKat selected me as one of three people she would like to see complete a book meme list.

Here it goes:
You are stuck inside "Fahrenheit 451." Which book would you be?
The Complete Manual - it is a guide to sex. It includes explanations about human sexuality, how to make it better and even has pictures. I think my perversion would continue to educate people even in the 24th century.

What is the last book you bought? Henna Body Art
It is a book about the history of henna as a tattoo medium. It also includes patterns and henna. I love these kinds of tattoos and it is interesting to learn more about them and how to do them myself.

What are you currently reading? Trying to re-read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Also reading The Hobbit, Shadow War. In the bathroom, I have Columbia Journalism Review, Parenting and Family Circle magazines to read. I need to concentrate on just one at a time. That may make it easier.

Five books you would take to a deserted island:
*It isn't just one - The baby books of my three children. These are precious books to me. They include milestones, photos, mementos and memories.
*Again, more than one - my photo albums. Ditto to the reasons above, but widened to the everyday events that are treasured moments.
*The Harry Potter books - I love these characters and the land of Hogwarts and beyond.
*The Lord of the Rings trilogy - more characters that I love, the fantasy, the battle between good and evil.
*The Bible - the good book offers more practical advice than any self-help book out there.

Who are you going to pass this book meme to and why?
Hugh at Three bedroom, two bath
Gadfly at Mental Floss

Property tax relief down the drain

State Rep. Dwayne Bohac of Houston is my hero. This guy proposed legislation that would cap how much appraisal districts could raise the value of our homes. But, leave it the state Legislature to bend over homeowners once again.

According to a news story:
The Texas House on Tuesday revolted against a proposal to lower the cap onproperty appraisal increases in a resounding vote that likely kills the issue this legislative session. The proposed constitutional amendment would have lowered the cap on appraisal growth from 10 percent to 5 percent a year. Taxing entities including school districts, hospital districts, cities and counties had vigorously fought the legislation. Representatives voted 81-65 to remove key language from the legislation, effectively ending debate on House Joint Resolution 35. In doing so they ignored supporters' pleas to allow debate to continue so the legislation could be amended to remove cities and counties from the cap.

Gov. Perry supports legislation to put a cap in place. I may vote for Perry after all on this ONE issue alone.

Back to the story:
A fiscal analysis of the bill by the Legislative Budget Board said it would result in billions of dollars in lost revenue to the state, school districts, cities and counties over the next five years. Critics of the bill said it would help only those homeowners in neighborhoods where property values are skyrocketing. They said property owners in areas of more stable growth would bear an increasing burden to fund essential services such as police, fire and sanitation.

Boo hoo. Learn to live on a budget like the rest of us. My budget gets busted every year when our appraisal district jacks up the price of our land, our house or both. They have screwed us every year we've lived here. If we could get the price the house is appraised for, we'd sell tomorrow. Gees.


A Marine speaks his mind

I just thought this was a great post and wanted to share it. Thanks to Sworn Enemy for posting it. Go check it out.

Colossol squid

Army of Mom

is a Collosal Squid that was Summoned from The Deep, and can Leap Great Distances.

Strength: 10 Agility: 2 Intelligence: 8

To see if your Giant Battle Monster can
defeat Army of Mom, enter your name and choose an attack:

fights Army of Mom using
Ok, I think I'm scared. A colossol squid? It does have the agility measure right for me. I'm not very agile. Hat tip to Doug at Bogus Gold for finding this time-waster for me.

Wings and flirting

Nothing like a relaxing work day with no one breathing down my neck to get things done. I'm listening to Wings Greatest in my little cubicle. My retreat from the workplace. Armed with some stories to write. It is sort of nice today.

Exchanging some emails with my husband when he asks me:
So which guys are hitting on you today?

Sadly, no one. I asked him why. His response:
Just expected that it happened again today.

I think that is flattering, but I'm not sure. Maybe he just expects the new bra to put a trance on the men all around me. I mean, I do feel like my boobs are right under my chin in this thing. Comfy and all. Just elevated. Like gravity doesn't exist. I'll take it as a compliment.

Science supports my theory

It appears that scientists have figured out what I've known all along: Sex is good.

Thanks to Kim DuToit for the insight.

Bluebonnets and sweet babies

Not that she is really a baby anymore, but my beautiful baby girl is posted at Uzz's for the entire world to appreciate her beauty.

Not that I'm prejudiced or anything, but she is gorgeous, isn't she? Good genes, I suppose. ;)

Four day work week

I think I could enjoy only working four days per week, but alas, this is the last one like this for some time to come. *sigh*

Lots of random things on my mind this morning.

I'm going to be an aunt for the 8th time sometime today. Army of Dad's sister is being induced today. I'm anxious about finding out when the baby arrives.

Stupid ads bother me. This is one of those things that just popped into my head. One of my favorites is this print ad on the back of my Parenting magazine featuring hottie Ashley Judd in a strapless formal gown prouncing around her massive back yard park looking garden playing with a puppy. You know, whenever I feel like playing with a dog, I often put on my white formal to do it. Sounds like a great idea. Then, there are those ads featuring these stupid women who are smiling when their kids do rotten things like have a food fight or throw food in the ground. These women are smiling as they clean. I'm calling BS on that one. No reality whatsoever there.

Ok, off to put out some fires. One of my side jobs has insisted on pawning off more work on me after they told me I didn't have to do something, so I'm not a happy camper right now.


A day of firsts

My first Texas Rangers home opener.

That rocked.

Army of Dad scored some tickets from a freight company that prostitutes, er, solicits business from his company. So, that rocked. We got to tailgate with them, too. So, that meant free food and drinks. I tried some Bacardi black cherry thing. Yuck. AoD was busy drinking beer and eating crawdads, shrimp and brat wurst. He was stoked. I had my first bloody mary. Blech. I think it will also be my last. *burping up pepper taste*

AoD's old division, Ironhorse AKA Ivy Divsion AKA 4ID provided the music from its band. I've heard this band play several times while I lived in Killeen. The 10-year-old was entertained by them on many occasions, as well, but he probably doesn't remember it. Single mom low on funds ... we did lots of free things like listening to the band perform on post. But, I digress.

We also got to witness the coolest flyover as the Star Spangled Banner was sang by a soldier who recently returned from overseas somewhere. AoD told me it was a B-52. I think he said it was flying only about 500 feet over us. It was a BIG airplane and it was flying LOW. But, it was SOOOO totally cool. I remember watching all kinds of aircraft when I lived in Killeen. I seldom ventured to the west side of Fort Worth where I grew up. But, the Naval Air Station has lots of cool stuff like that, too. (It was Carswell AFB when I was a kid.)

The game was cool. First pitch to a Ranger and BAM, Soriano takes it yard out to left field. Awesome. We were sitting just about 30 feet to the first base side of the right field foul pole and we got to watch Blalock's homer hit the upper deck in right field. UPPER DECK!!! OHMIGOSH. It was so freaking cool. 450 feet. Wow! I've only seen that a few times before from Will Clark and Juan Gonzales, but we were never so close to see it like that. What a view!

I even got flirted with by a VERY attractive man in our tailgating group of carousers. AoD had some chick flirt with him while he was gone to retrieve beer, too. So, we had our ego strokes for the day, too.

We had to leave in the bottom of the 9th because Hot Rod had a soccer game tonight. This was sacrilege to us, too, because we NEVER leave a game early. However, the responsible people that we are, we calculated just how late we could stay, fight traffic and get back in time to coach the game. We put off leaving as long as we could and we made it 15 minutes late to warm-ups, but 15 minutes before game time. So, that wasn't bad. We listened to the rest of the game in the car. Unfortunately, the Angels took advantage of faggoty CoCo Cordero (no offense to my homosexual friends - you guys are way more butch than this tartar sauce sucking SOB). Not that I'm bitter or anything. Anyway. The Rangers lost, but it was still fun. Hot Rod's soccer team won. My parents helped with the kids today and they stuck around to watch Hot Rod play. That made his day.

My new undies

Nope, not a picture of me modeling them. That might scare the small children and gross out my son's teacher, my cousin and the girls I went to high school with.

But, this is the bra I got in whisper pink. What the fish sticks is whisper pink? These are the matching panties in the same magical color.

I really like them. Nice and comfy.

There, Kin, are you happy now? Or more happy? I would think the Victoria's Secret links should make most of my male readers happy.

My living will

After all of the Terri Schiavo stuff, I thought it might be best to have a living will. A friend of mine sent one to me, so I did some tweaking and this is what I came up with.

I, Army of Mom, being of sound mind and body (don't laugh), do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hand of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a bellini, it should be presumed that I won't do so ever again. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business. Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. It is my wish that they play politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace. I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and/or crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own damn business, too. If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell.

Finding Nemo

I'll blog more later. Been a LOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGGGG day today. Had a ball tailgating and watching the Rangers.

Scanned this pic of the kids at Finding Nemo on Ice Sunday night.


Ooooh. I.CAN'T.WAIT.

It is today!!! TODAY! TODAY! Hot damn. TODAY. (oops, hot tartar sauce)

Getting ready to take Army of Dad to the dentist and I'll run to Wal-Mart and buy sunflower seeds and peanuts. Thank God.

This four-day weekend went by TOOOO quickly. I came down with some sort of allergy attack, too, and my eyes are swollen. They were all crusty and leaking all night. Gross, I know. Sorry.

Who cares? Crusty eyes or not ... OPENING DAY!!!!!


Beauty is pain

One positive thing from Friday was that I got a haircut and a pedicure. I looked great at the end of my rough day. I also went to buy a new bra and matching panties. That was a nice treat.

But, beauty is pain.

At one point, I have the pedicure gal digging all the years of cuticles from my itty bitty chubby little toes. She was going to town with it, too. It hurt and my big toes are still a little sore, but my feet are really soft and pretty (ok, as pretty as they can be) now. But, she is digging on my toes and my hairdresser is yanking my hair trying to blow dry it straight. I was hurting, no lie, from head to toe. Literally. It was awful and I was just wondering if Army of Dad would appreciate what I went through to look pretty for him. He told me I looked nice that night. If he only knew what it took to get that way. Yuck.

Bra shopping sucks, too. They only make so many 38DDs at Victoria's Secret and I got the last one in the store! One of the sales girls there had the other one that they had earlier in the week when they got two in their shipment. So, I'll be checking out the VS near my work to see if I can find one in that store.

Working in the yard all day yesterday made my muscles sore, too. But, hopefully it will burn off the calories of that ice cream and chicken fried steak from last night!

The score

Grim Reaper 0
Guardian Angel 2

I had the wits scared out of me Saturday. Not just once. But, twice.

After our soccer games, Hot Rod went to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, so I just took the other two kids as well and we had our fun there, too. (I was going to post pics with this post, but my camera batteries died and I need to go to the store and get some more, so I'll do that and then post the pics later.) We had a good time at CEC.

Army of Dad was reffing soccer games, so I asked the 10-year-old to earn some money by watching the little kids while I cleaned out my gardens in the front yard. The kids played in the fenced in backyard or in the house. I left the screen door to the garage open so I could hear the kids calling me and to let that breeze come in the house since we're going sans AC as long as we can.

I'm happily pulling weeds and talking with my neighbor when something catches the corner of my eye. It is my 2-year-old running down the middle of the street. Sweet Jesus, I thought I was going to die right there of heart failure. I screamed as I ran to get her. Then, I came in and ripped the "babysitting brother" a new one with the what if scenarios. Thank God she was ok. She sat with my neighbor on the porch as I finished pulling weeds. We found a snake skin in the garden where I was working. That was gross.

At this point, it is:
Grim Reaper 0
Guardian Angel 1

Army of Dad gets home and takes the snake skin to show the boys for a science lesson. We get cleaned up and take the kids downtown to the square for dinner at a little diner that we love and then for ice cream at an old-fashioned soda fountain and ice cream parlor. It was fun. We went to Blockbuster and rented a movie for us and a video game for the kids. But, upon getting home and bathing children, AoD starts to get sleepier and sleepier. I put Stinkerbelle down for the night and AoD takes Hot Rod up to bed. At this point, I go back out front to mow the lawn before it gets dark. I make it - barely. Then, I decide to clean out one more small flower bed by the flood light at my neighbor's and my front porch light. Hot Rod comes out into the yard in his underwear and tells me that dad is in his bed. So, I tell him to just take a blanket and sleep in the floor thinking AoD is pulling a fast one on him. Then, Hot Rod looks at me and says:
But, mom ... I can't get daddy to wake up.

A little light bulb goes off in my head and I start praying as I race for the door pushing the child out of my way so I can get up there quicker.
Dear God, please don't let him have had a heart attack.
Oh God.
Oh God.

I reach the top of the stairs and he is laid out in the floor of the child's room. I shake him and feel a pulse and see his chest heaving with breath. He rouses a bit and looks at me a little disoriented and I get him to speak and I now know that he is just THAT exhausted.

Thank you Jesus.

Now, the score is:
Grim Reaper 0
Guardian Angel 2

It was pretty scary, but thank God everyone was safe. Whew! What a day. Army of Dad continued to sleep through the night in his recliner and then, finally, in bed. I got a lot of laundry done, cleaned out the closet, etc. So, it was good. We never did watch our movie, though.

Today, we're going to do some grocery shopping and then I'm going to get my mom and take the kids to see Finding Nemo on Ice. AoD and I get to go out afterwards since we're both taking tomorrow off for the Rangers home opener. The Twins are on TV tonight, so I reckon we'll probably hang out at a sports bar and watch the game. Will be nice to just be away from the house together sans children.


I lost my cool


It finally happened. Army of Dad had taken all he could stand this morning of the 5-year-olds not listening. So, he hands me the clipboard, the pen and the charge of this team of rowdy hooligans.

I coached. I cajoled. I suggested. I instructed.

Finally, the ref blows the whistle for halftime and I call the crowd over.

"Everyone get your snack and your drink and come here NOW. Sit down. Put a bubble in your mouth, your eyes on me and listen with your ears. You guys have got to listen to me and Coach when you're on the field. We are trying to help you guys know what to do, where to go and how to do it. You have got to listen to me."

Some vigorous, some not so vigorous and at least one half-hearted head nod come from the group of six boys.

After instructing them on which way we're kicking the ball at the switch, we send them back out there and not only are they listening, but they're executing the instructions (most of the time) and doing well. We came from behind and we actually won.

But, I did a bad thing. The other team was elbowing and pushing and tripping throughout the game. If you know soccer and little boys (big boys, too, for that matter) they will get worse and dirtier the more you let them get away with it. I know the little boys on the other team and they're good kids, but if you let them get away with it, they're going to keep doing it. So, I've been "instructing" from the sidelines to both teams NOT to push. Finally, it gets bad enough that the kid on the other team who has been the worst offender finally just shoves our kid down as he is scoring a goal.

That was it. The gloves were off.

I yell at the referree: "Miss Ref. Miss REF. MISS REF!!!"


So, I did the big no-no. I step on to the field and start to approach her continuing to call to her. I take about three steps and stop. I knew I had crossed the line. But, it didn't stop me from contining my tirade:

She turns to look at me and yells something about she has control of the game, she is certified and that I need to calm down. She also threatened to abandon the game, which is a ref's right to do so if they feel threatened or whatever. I recall saying something like "THAT'S FINE, AT LEAST THE KIDS WILL BE SAFE."

I'm not sure what I said after that. Army of Dad can probably fill in the blanks. I didn't curse or even tartar sauce her. But, my eye is twitching as I type this. My voice is gravelly now and I have tension knotted up in the back right side of my neck. I don't care if we win or lose at this level. I REALLY DON'T. What I care about is the safety of MY kids. I consider each of those six children as MINE when they're on the field and I don't want them to get hurt.

I apologized to my team after the game. I told them I should never lose my temper with the referee, but that I was angry and concerned about them getting hurt and I wanted her to know that. The kids didn't seem phased by me blowing my stack and seemed utterly clueless about my apology. But, they did listen and they did respond to a little reprimand at half time and for that I was pleased.

We told the kids about the next game and the next practice. We play on Monday. I could tell one kid wasn't listening, so I asked him what time to be at the field on what day.

His response:

Not even close buddy. *shaking my head*


Pope TV

It's Pope TV. All Pope. All the time.

I have to say, though, that I love the song Ave Maria.

Here is a list of Pope names that you'll never hear:
Pope Todd
Pope Larry
Pope Jamal
Pope Danny
Pope Perfecto
Pope Steve

You get the idea.

Tartar Sauce

See. I can do it. I didn't call Blogger the tartar saucingest tartar sauce in the whole fish sticks world.

Nothing today has gone according to plans.

Blogger has been done all morning, so I couldn't even blog about it.

Went to the dentist and I need a root canal and a crown on one of my lovely teeth. Great. I take such good care of my teeth, too. Seriously. So, this just freaks me out. Plus, my dental insurance "covers" x-rays but applies it toward the deductible. The dental hygienist didn't know that, so I told her to do them. Well, that was $60 that I wasn't planning on spending.

Garage door opener dude came and the system they had brought to install it won't work. So, that was an extra 90 minutes of time that he couldn't come to work on it. He had to go get another system and come back. So, that pushes back my extra time that I thought I was going to have to run and grab lunch with a friend, but now I can't. *sigh*

I am getting a special treat with the housekeeper coming today, but I hate to here when she comes. But, I'll have to be here because of the garage door guy being here. I'll be late to my hair appointment, so I hope I can still get it done. *sigh* I'm about to call him and see if I can reschedule.

I'm ready for this day to be over.


Praying for no rain

The weather forecast calls for rain for the home opener Monday for my Rangers game.

A couple of more months

Someone entered my blog from this post about the lump in my left breast and it prompted me to go read it again. Still brings tears to my eyes. I remember these events so VIVIDLY. They're like slow motion in my mind. I feel bad because I can't remember my second child's first word, but I remember these moments in living color.

I go back to the doctor in June for another sonogram and if the lump is still growing, we'll remove it. I may wind up going to the doctor sooner because I've been having some pain and that was one of the "symptoms" he told me to watch for. I'm trying to cut back on my caffeine and see if that makes a difference, too. But, no such luck yet. I may just call and go see him sooner rather than later.

I'm awfully fond of my DDs.

Beware the CIA

This is the coolest website in the world. The CIA evidently has all these statistics accessible online for everything from the world's population, birth rate, mortality rate, etc.

I discovered this while trying to see what is the world's population of Catholics. I'm pretty sure that African countries and Latino countries have the highest population of Catholics, but I'm still searching. Unfortunately work calls and I'll have to follow this up later. But, wouldn't it be great to see an African or Latino pope? I think that would be cool and reflect the population of Catholics throughout the world. Plus, he'd have a great accent.

I love sex

Honestly, I love pretty much everything to do with it. I love the feeling. I love the connection. I love the control. I love the submission. I love the plain vanilla and I love the exotic concoctions, as well.

While I have never got it on with a Furry, I don't see any harm to it. We all need a little escape. Some of use porn to do it. Some like to dress up and role play. Some people even like to dress up like big furry critters and go to conventions to meet other folks who are Furries, too. *shrug* Whatever floats your boat. I blogged about Getting your Furry on back in January and I fear that the Furry lovers of the world think I don't like them. Au contraire. I am fascinated. Just like Gil Grissom on CSI has his thing for Lady Heatherly and her S&M house, I am truly fascinated by it. I like to learn about all the various kinds of sex and ways to express your sexuality. As long as no one is hurting anyone or practicing unsafe sex, I don't see any harm in it and I think I even said as much.

Yet, I've had a couple of comments posted that seems to think I don't appreciate Furries. While I don't foresee myself wanting to get in a big sweaty suit and furpiling, whatever gets your blood pumping is great. I can see how it would be enticing to escape and have no one know who you are. That has to be empowering. You can be anything you want to be. If you're a shy retiring librarian, in your big Kitty suit, you can be a sex kitten with your tail in the air. If you're normally a bossy busy CEO, you can be a timid little puppy rolling over for someone to rub your belly. I see the appeal. I just prefer to do it without the big costume.

Go check out the comments on the post and let's start a new thread here. The folks at it comes in pints, introduced me to the plushies, I'm sorry, that is weird. Screwing your stuffed animal is kind of bizarre to me. I mean, we've all made out with our pillows when we were 12 and just wondering what it would be like. Right? Dammit. I can't be the only one who did that. Be honest people! You know you did it.

Anyway. With the sex kick I've been on, any kind of sexual behavior is fascinating to me, whether it is considered deviant or not. Ok, I take that back, people who delve in poop and pee and stuff still gross me out. Eww. I need to think of something different.

This is SOOO not what I thought I'd blog about on my way to work this morning. Funny how a new comment on an old post changes your mind.



It will be another one of those days. Chasing down elusive people and information. Putting out fires. Being in two places at once. And, kissing ass. *insert DEEP sigh here*

I really hate that part of the job. I have to act like a little helper and I really hate that. Oh well. I do enjoy giving the tours and the people who are on them are usually delighted. It is just the execs whose asses you have to kiss.

So much for my giving up cursing. I'll keep trying.

I'm also going to see about designing an orange safety vest that is made out of a stretchy material, maybe a poly/cotton blend of some sort, that is more form fitting. I look like a cow in this safety vest. Maybe I can make them form-fitting and almost like the baby-doll tees. Although that could be really bad. If I make the construction workers stop now to gawk, how much worse would it be if they could actually tell that I have a nice round ass and big boobs? Ha. I just hate the boxy design of the vest. Although, I guess it wasn't really designed for women or to look good. *shrug*

Back to acting like an administrative assistant today. I finished my big project so now my boss has me acting as his personal secretary. Oh well. It could be worse.

Sic 'em Bears!!!

Hot diggity dog! My Baylor Bears are the NCAA National Champions. NATIONAL.CHAMPIONS.

I didn't get to see the game because I was working, but I got word by phone as soon the victory occurred. I have actually had tears in my eyes as I listen to the Baylor fight song on the radio in the background of the sportscast. (I tried to fight a sound file for the fight song, but work actually needs me, so it will have to wait.)


They're baaaacccckkkk!!!!!!!

The trolls have returned, although this one, I have to say, has some sense to her. She can recognize that in our great land we can CHOOSE what we want to do whether it is staying home to raise our children or returning to the work force. That is my biggest criticism on the original
op-ed piece that didn't say women could adequately do one or the other. The op-ed article said staying home was the downfall of society. I disagree. I also don't think my children will wind up as drug-addicted homeless people because I'm working either. I had a follow-up to the original post after another troll commented and tried to flame me.

I got this comment sometime in the past day from femme à gauche:

Look, no offense, but I agree with the author's comment on gender role stereotypes. As a female who grew up in the 80's and 90's, I got thoroughly sick and ready to vomit at all the "homemaker" images of women that got shoved down my throat by the media, by political leaders (uhhhh, Reagan..."women are now SO equal we don't need to hire them in political office anymore!"), and by conservative America. Part of being a feminist (yes, a "shrieking, man-bashing" modern feminist--oddly enough, with a deep voice and a loving/beloved boyfriend) is being able to choose your own destiny and be your own person, with or without a male counterpart, with or without children, and whatever career you want. That's where our op-ed author went slightly wrong. If you want to be a stay-at-home mother, great. Good for you. I don't. I, for one, cannot afford it (and don't ever EVER take your economic ability to stay home for granted), and I believe that contributing to society by working is how I, in part, establish my identity. I want to work. My mother was a stay-at-home for most of my early years. But I never suffered any trauma or disadvantage when she went to work. In fact, the years in which I learned and developed the least were the years during which I was homeschooled. I was receiving a lot of attention from my mother, but I did not develop healthy skills of withdrawal from the family. Now I am a student at a Christian university, studying French and social work. And if I've learned anything from studying social work, it's that the "traditional" way isn't always the best way. Just because the "traditional" parenting style (father works, mother stays home) works for some doesn't mean it works for all. So respect other people's perspectives. "FARRRRR lefties" doesn't mean "REEEEALLY wrong." Remember, radicals founded this country, got women the vote, freed slaves, and made our nation what it is. Don't knock us liberals. We may be peaceniks, but look what MLK, Ghandi, even Jesus did without cursing people out or treating others as inferior.
Editor's note: I don't HATE lefties. One of my best friends (i.e. LabKat) is actually a left-leaning individual. (I usually don't hold it against her. Usually.) But, my thoughts on that op-ed piece remain the same. Everyone has to do what is best for their families. If you can't or don't want to stay home. Don't. If you can and want to stay home, do. *shrug* Nothing too hard about that. I was staying home at the time and now I'm working again. I am doing what I think is best for my family at this particular instance in our lives. Plain and simple. I always cuss people. Just my way of life. Not something I'm particularly proud of and I promise that I'm working on it. Really. Don't laugh people. I'm trying. Its a hard habit to break.


Two more to go

Only two more stories to write and then I'm making like a baby and heading out.

How to cope with stress

I just looked over at a coffee cup I have on my desk. I use it for a pen holder, but it has these tips for how to cope with stress:

1. Strangle your boss (I sort of like mine, so nah)
2. Count your new grey hairs (ooh, like I can't see them anyway. Need to call my hairdresser today)
3. Trash your answering machine (how old is this cup? Do people still use answering machines?)
4. Eat everything in the vending machine (smartly, I have no change for it)
5. Assemble a 2,000-foot chain of paper clips (I prefer to play with those big black clips for thicker papers - you can figure out what I like to do with them *evil grin*)
6. Take three extended coffee breaks ... two hours each (I do that for blogging)
7. Close your eyes, breathe deeply ... and scream (ooh, that sounds like sex. I like that one!)

On second thought, back to writing.

Tuesday morning blahs

I feel like I have a hangover. Less than fours of sleep will do it to you. My marathon writing last night yielded me with 13 of the 16 articles due. The other three will get done today or in the morning before my boss leaves the country. *sigh*

Flags have been ordered by President Bush to be flown at half-staff till the Pope is buried on Friday. I wish people could get this right. I have seen flags all over the region displayed in different ways. Some have all flags at half staff, others have their company flag at half staff but not the US or Texas flags. Come on people. Pay attention to things. Flag etiquette is really not that hard if my 5-year-old can understand it.

I'm having a bad hair day today. I hate humidity at times like this.

Less than a week till the Rangers home opener. I am so stoked. I love baseball so much. Heard one of our local radio personalities rename Chan Ho Park to Crap Ho Park. I like it.

Why do people associate daisies or flowers with feminine hygiene products? While going to the potty this morning, I noticed a sign on the wall of the stall that reminds these nasty gals to wrap up their feminine products before they put them in the trash and the sign is decorated with little daisies all over it. Alot of these products have daisies on their packaging, too. I'll be real honest, when I'm on the rag, I don't feel like a daisy. I will leave it at that because I'm too tired to get that gross this morning.

The Humane Society has its collective panties in a wad about Canada's annual seal hunt. Whatever. If they were endangered or something, I could understand, but they're not. Get over it.

A true hero was bestowed the Medal of Honor posthumously Tuesday. Unlike the muslim terrorists who are hoping to have their gaggle of virgins waiting for them upon their death, I bet Army Sgt. 1st Class Paul Ray Smith may have whatever wish he desires when he enters the pearly gates. May God bless his family for their sacrifice and God bless this man for giving his life to save his soldiers.

Today won't be as bad as Monday, but will be close. I have a couple of tours today and I still have to write in between it all. We have a soccer game tonight and then I have to return to work after the soccer game for a meeting. No rest for the wicked, I suppose.


Damn mouse

My mouse at work doesn't have a rolling wheel thing for your index finger (don't you love all these technical terms?).


I keep fingering my mouse trying to scroll down the page. I'm sure the mouse is enjoying it, but it is frustrating the hell out of me. I may have to go buy a mouse for work.

12 hours later

Yes, my friends, it is 9 p.m. and I'm still at work. I made a run for the border and thought I'd blog while I eat my soft taco and pintos n cheese.

This is so cool, though. I can play my House of Pain REALLY.FUCKING.LOUD and no one is giving me dirty looks.

The building is empty. Aren't there porn movies that start like that?

Monday - the day from hell

This day started off badly. I got bit/stung/infected by something yesterday and have a feverish welt the size of a baseball on my right forearm. Sunday night, I took two Benadryl before bedtime. Well, I tossed and turned for several hours having a Groundhog Day style dream about work and a professional meeting I have tonight. Then, I finally crashed about 4 a.m. and couldn't hardly wake up. I crawled out of bed at 7:10 a.m. and had to gather the trash and take it out. Mind you, my garage door opener still doesn't work either. So, I did that. Got the kids up and fed. Packed lunches and snacks, backpacks, gathered my stuff and got it all out in the car. I didn't dress Stinkerbelle, but grabbed all her stuff and took her to daycare in her PJs and got her dressed and groomed from there. I had to open the garage door manually, pull the car out, go back in and close and lock it, go out through the front door. So, we're finally on the road and I get stuck behind a school bus. Then, I can't get across traffic. ARGH. Finally get the boys to school and they're on time. Hooray. Do my makeup at a stoplight. Get Stinkerbelle to school and dressed. Whew.

On the road and hoping the worst is behind me. Finally arrive at work at 9:15 a.m. I have the day from hell ahead of me, too. I have about 17 stories (no exaggeration) due in the morning. So, I will be writing like a madwoman today. I have a professional meeting tonight at 6:30 p.m. on top of it all. I will likely be at work till midnight. I still have a Benadryl hangover as well as a sinus headache. Joy.

But, one thing is looking positive for me. My daily Lord of the Rings calendar has a picture of Pippin and Gandalf on it today. So, I have Pippin to look at all day long.


Sic 'em Bears!


Baylor's Lady Bears are going to the NCAA championship game Tuesday night!!!! We upset LSU 68-57 tonight.

The game today marked the second meeting of the season between Baylor and LSU. The two squads squared off in the State Farm Tip-Off Classic in Austin, Texas, on Nov. 14. LSU posted a 71-70 victory over the Lady Bears in the contest. Baylor trailed by 19 points (43-24) at halftime but poured in 46 second-half points to cut the deficit and had a chance to win on the game's final play.

Baylor is competing in its fourth NCAA Tournament and has advanced to the Final Four for the first time in school history. All four NCAA Tournament appearances have come since Kim Mulkey-Robertson assumed the reins of the Lady Bear program. The fifth-ranked Lady Bears come into the contest riding a school record 18-game win streak and sporting a 31-3 record. The Lady Bears advanced to the Final Four by defeating top-seeded North Carolina, 72-63, in Tempe, Ariz., on Monday.