All I am, or can be, I owe to my angel mother. - Abraham Lincoln
That is one of my favorite quotes. My mother was never an angel. But, she has done the best she can despite all the challenges God has given her. I think I turned out ok. Not great, but good enough. I don't think my children will ever use that Lincoln quote for me, too, but I hope they know how much I love them and how I have tried and continue to try my best to be a good mom. I know my mom has given it her all.
My friend Kelly
posted "The Special Mom by Erma Bombeck, 1980" on her blog. I think it is worth reposting here, too. My oldest has had many obstacles to overcome in life from a chronic condition resulting from a birth defect to Asperger's Syndrome. But, he has never let it stop him from doing what he wants. It took me many years not to try to fit him into the one-size-fits-all mode that I expected from my children, but I'm doing my best. I know I fall short often, but I'm trying.
Here is the Erma Bombeck piece:
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint, Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint, Cecilia. Rudledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint, give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," says God. "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But has she patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word.' She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma'* for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations."
"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see . . . ignorance, cruelty, prejudice . . . and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, pen poised midair. God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."
I agree with Kelly that us moms of special aren't saints. We're far from it, but we're doing the best with what God has given us. My middle child will be the one to keep me up late at night wondering if he's making good choices. The youngest? She is so inquisitive, she'll be the one looking for answers and stepping into ... well, you know. They're all special to me and I'm so very blessed to be their mom. And, my special mom? Yeah, she taught me how to mother, too. Her love is fierce despite all her faults. I definitely got that from her.
Happy Mother's Day!