Army of Mom

So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous applause.


I can't believe I ate the whole thing

I swear that each of the boys probably got 4 pounds of candy each. No way they can eat it all.

Many thanks to Uzz for sharing these pics. More of Uzzman's pics are at his site. Here is one of the family while AoD carved the pumpkin. You can see my cast. I went as a Cowboy for Halloween.

AoD looks scary with that knife!

That head that Pickle is holding looks eerie! Hot Rod has his Vikes football. And, lastly, one of just the cute boys.

I find it amusing that the whitest kid on the planet went as Randy Moss for Halloween.

On a lighter note, I'll be building my ark tonight and loading up the animals by pairs tomorrow. Coming a gully washer here tonight. Supposed to freeze on Tuesday or Wednesday maybe. Good Lord. We were sweating tonight!


Trick or Treat?!

Pickle went as Yugioh and Hot Rod was a Minnesota Viking. He was going to be a Power Ranger, but he was wearing his jersey this morning and I asked him if he'd like to be a football player instead and he was stoked. My dad gave us the helmet a while back and the football pants were hand-me-downs from a friend. He thought he was too cool. Yugi thought he as cool, too. They got quite the haul in our little neighborhood. Little Bit was trick or treating with Granny and PaPa. I hated to miss it, but it is easier to recuperate without wrestling her.

AoD did a real quick jack-o-lantern for the boys about 5 minutes before we went out for trick or treating. Good thing we did it early because it is storming now.

Happy Halloween

Boo! From my smallest little goblin's feet.

Are you a freak?

Are you a freak

I'm 49% freak!!

Where does this come from?
This test was developed by two psychologists in the 1970's to determine an individual's "Need for Uniqueness". It's a real test, not a so-called purity test found elsewhere on the net. Scores are percentile between 1 and 100. The higher the number, the more your personality agrees with the associated comment. Your percentile indiciates how you compare against others who have taken this test. Since I have an overall score of 49, this indicates that I have a higher need-for-uniqueness than 48 out of 100 people.

My results are split into these three catagories:
Need to be unique: You do not feel that you need to be very unique.
Need to NOT conform: You prefer to conform to others' standards, but don't mind acting differently occasionally.
Willingness to express dissent: You speak your mind freely, without giving thought to how others will react.

Are you a freak?


Good day

I got to sleep a little late. Pain killers are good, but I can tell as soon as it has been four hours since the last dose.

Soccer today for both boys. Was enjoyable withou chasing little bit around. No. 2 lost and took a ball to the face. No. 1 child won and made some great plays. We beat the Howard Dean-screamer coach. Thank God. Still in first place and the only undeafeated team in our division.

Took No. 2 to see Shrek 2 at the dollar show, then we watched AoD ref a soccer game before going out for Mexican food. Catching up on reading blogs.

Here is No. 1 playing recently. Photos by uzzman.

Right Thinking Girl has it right

If you are having any second-thoughts about who to vote for, please just give this a quick read and make sure you vote for the right man. Many thanks to Right Thinking Girl.


First Lady Laura Bush and Theresa Heinz Kerry had a debate of sorts - in the kitchen! Family Circle magazine asked both women to submit a cookie recipe for readers to try. Mrs. Bush shared her oatmeal chocolate chunk recipe, while Mrs. Heinz Kerry submitted her SUPPOSED pumpkin spice cookie recipe. Mrs. Bush won this culinary debate. Sixty-Seven percent of readers chose her cookie.

What the web article doesn't tell you is that Heinz-Kerry's originally submitted recipe didn't survive the test kitchen at FC, so she submitted a second recipe. Guess what? On July 23, a week before the FC voting deadline, Mrs. Kerry disowned her recipe on National Public Radio announcing that it wasn't her own recipe. Great. These people can't even tell the truth about cookie recipes. Surely, her personal cook/chef had a recipe she could give.

The recipes are on the FC link, fyi.

Trek or treat

A halloween treat.

Typing one-handed is usually more fun than this

It is pretty difficult to type with my left hand, so I will be brief and use some of my pre-written blogs for the next few days.

As far as the surgery goes, my doctor likes to take his time - not a bad thing I suppose. So, we were late getting started. My doctor came in to mark the ganglion cyst and initial it. So on my arm he writes his initials - no joke - SAW. He grinned when I made a comment about it.

On the bright side of having to wait, I got to watch DS9 while I waited. Tall, black and VERY handsome was my anesthesiologist, so that was good. He said he was trekkie, too. You gotta like a handsome doctor who comes in asking "who wants 2 for 1 margaritas?" Of course, they were syringes filled with good shit. I was out in a couple of minutes. Next thing I remember was trying to get the oxygen mask off and asking "Could I have my asshole?"

The nurse said she figured I meant my significant other and not my body part. She got him after a little while and she regaled him with the asshole story. I have a black eye, but we're not sure how it happened. Sometime during surgery. They said they taped my eyes shut. *shrug*

I slept much of the evening, but got to watch three hours of CSI before bed. Woohoo.


Testing, 1, 2, 3

I just flew in and, well never mind, Army of Dad here guest blogging as Army of Mom is still recovering.

Everything is fine except for some fatigue and nausea. She did call me an asshole, but that is actually pretty normal come to think of it(I think she will tell that story later). Took longer than was planned, but one of the nurses said AoM's doc always goes overtime. AoM was happy that she got to watch DS9 pre-op.

We are now watching CSI and getting ready for bed. Big soccer day tomorrow, long one too. Army of Granny and Army of PawPaw are here to help with our brood, so AoM can actually take care of herself. She also got eat a hot meal, left handed, but still how many moms get to eat a hot meal?!

My kingdom for a glass of chocolate milk

I swear to God that I am seldom that hungry for breakfast, but suddenly, knowing that I can't eat - I would sell one of my children for a glass of really cold chocolate milk. Having Army of Dad home this morning doesn't help. He is watching the Food Channel. How is that for Mr. Sensitive? Typically, when he is home in the mornings and we have built-in sitters - thanks mom and dad - then we go to LePeep for a nice breakfast. But, not today. I can't eat till after my surgery.

Just saw a commercial for Desperate Housewives and it jogged my ADD memory. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to watch it. I wonder what that says about me? Even my surgeon - during our pre-op consultation - asks me if I watch it because I'd probably like it. *shaking my head* I guess I'll watch it and see why everyone thinks it is the perfect show for me.

We just found out that we're wealthy, too, by the way. I'm glad to know it. Some Kerry commercial just said that the tax cuts were for the wealthy. I feel better knowing that the Dems think I'm wealthy.

Ok, I guess I'm going to blog another thing or two while I can still type two handed. I'll update my template, too, and try to put another survey up. If I get a picture of the new red-headed Army of Mom, I'll post it, too, and we'll take a vote on regular highlights or the red hair.

Maybe I'll blog in a drug-induced stupor tonight. I'm pretty fun when I'm doped up. Or at least that is what people tell me. Gadfly and LabKat both shared some amusing tales of my post-partum drug-induced discussions with them after having Child No. 2. I'm quite witty when I'm under the influence. I think.


My newest addiction

My new favorite network is Spike TV. It is hailed as the network for men, but I love it, too.

First off, it has Star Trek DS9 and TNG for a total of four hours every weekday. Then, they have CSI in the evenings and MXC. This is one of the greatest shows ever created and I highly recommend you check it out for giggles. Nothing like watching Japanese people wearing crappy little red helmets and injuring themselves in a stupid reality show to make you almost pee your pants. The best is Kenny Blankenship's Most Painful Eliminations of the Day. Good lord, be ready to laugh your ass off.

If you're a big CSI dork, take the CSI Blood and Guts quiz to test your knowledge. I haven't seen enough be good at it yet.

But, give me time.

Midnight is looming closer

Funny how I never eat after midnight, but knowing that I can't eat makes me want to have a big old Snickers bar with a Kit Kat chaser.

My surgery is scheduled for 11 a.m. Friday and I've turned into a blubbering idiot. I'm literally sick to my stomach because I'm so nervous about this surgery. I haven't been put under anesthesia - completely put under - since I was in college. That time, I remember (vaguely) waking up and screaming out for my ex-husband. Me and anesthesia never got along well. Before that, I'd wake up screaming for my mom. Even my last spinal for my c-section left me hallucinating and talking gibberish. I would have sworn my boys were jumping on a couch in my hospital room and I kept trying to tell them to stop, but the words wouldn't come out. I remember VIVIDLY (ok, as vividly as you can remember something in a drug-induced fog) the look on Army of Dad's face as he realized I was screwd up out of my gourd.

Anyway. I'm dreading it, needless to say. I'm worried about not having the use of my hand for a while, too.

You see, those of you who don't know me may not know this, but I'm a control freak. I am a GIGANTIC planner. I like to know what is going to happen and when and I like to have it all laid out with every possible outcome known. But, just like having children in your life, there is no way to know what is going to happen with this surgery and the recovery. I may be fine and ready to dance Friday night or I may be puking and hallucinating on Sunday.

*taking deep breaths*

I'm also paranoid as hell and a big fat worrier. If there is a worst case scenario, I have pictured it. Oh well. I guess I'll go drag my ass into the tub and try to relax. I have about two more hours of eating time before my little fast. I wonder if burping up bile from nerves counts as eating before surgery? Maybe I can put this off another week. Nah. I just have to suck it up. That is what moms do.

Russia had their hand in the pie

Not that this should be any big shock to people, but Russia had its hand in the missing Iraq weapons/explosives cache.

It appears that Russians helped Saddam's troops move the arms into Syria.

Well, isn't THAT interesting. I'm wondering if anyone will acknowledge this or continue to say our military and Bush effed up by letting them get away.

The wonderful thing about Tiggers

... is Tiggers are wonderful things. Exhibit A:

Today at pre-school, they celebrated Imagination Day. This was big brother's costume from when he was about this same age. She had a good time in it. This is on our front porch before we left this morning. She loves playing in the Halloween windsock.

Our savior awaits Nov. 2

Sgt. Hook asked about taking back his vote after hearing about Kerry's latest guarantee that if he is elected president there will be no more terrorist attacks on America and its citizens. I think I need to take back my vote, too, if this were true.

I wonder if Kerry is going to eliminate AIDS and cancer, too? Army of Dad loves to tell me the story about an Army buddy, who claimed that if he ever ran for office his campaign slogan would be "I'm (pick a name) and I'm against disease."

I mean, who could argue with that slogan?

If Kerry can guarantee no more terrorism, maybe he can stop drive-by shootings, too.

How about walking on water or turning water into wine?

I wanna see this.

Chat online with the Bush girls tonight

Sometimes these little Bush campaign emails are totally stupid. I get several each day and only occasionally are they really worth reading. But, this one just cracked me up. I guess they're hoping to get the horny male vote with this one.

Here it goes:
The energy and enthusiasm are surging across the nation as everyone involved with our campaign from leadership staff to surrogates to phone bank volunteers are ready to re-elect President Bush and Vice President Cheney. Reminder: this week we're inviting you to join several campaign leaders and surrogates for live chats on

They have several different people including some Nascar guy, some election officials and my favorites:

Barbara and Jenna Bush, daughters of President and Mrs. Bush, will be online Thursday, October 28, 6:00 - 7:00 pm EDT

There was a link on my email for where to send your questions for the Bush girls. I'm wondering how many times they got "What are you wearing?" or "How many threesomes have you been in together?" and other various nasty questions.

Norman Bates is my hairdresser

Well, not really, but if you would have seen the tub after I dyed my hair, you'd think so.

Note to self: don't dye your hair red while taking a bath. It was nasty. First off, the little glove things looked like they had menstrual blood all over them. I thought I was going to urp before I was done. Then, when I rinsed my hair, the tub looked like A) what I imagine those water births must look like when the afterbirth spews out or B) a scene from Psycho or C) a low-budget horror flick featuring shark bites.

My hair hasn't been this dark for about five years. Last time I went dark brown after Child No. 2 was born. Post-partum depression isn't a good time to make decisions about your hair style or color. But, we'll see how this goes. Will be weird to see dark hairs all over the place instead of my formerly blonde ones.

Another note to mention, Ultresse "medium reddish brown" should be named "super fucking auburn." On the up side, it was only $4.81 at Drug Emporium and promises "100 percent gray coverage" which is a plus for me.

Do you realize, I'm going to be 36 in less than two weeks? Yikes. 36. This one is hitting me the hardest of any birthday so far. 29 sucked, but wasn't THAT bad. 30 wasn't too bad. I took 35 in stride, but 36 is so close too 40 that it is really bumming me out.

Oh well. I'll have red hair for it.


Beautiful lunar eclipse

Many thanks to Uzz for this lovely image of the lunar eclipse.

It was gorgeous. The skies started off cloudy, but cleared beautifully over North Texas. I went up to see if my oldest was still awake - he is such a night owl - and he was. So, I pulled him out of bed to come and look at it one more time. I caught him sneaking a cookie while he was downstairs, too.


A redhead?

In honor of the Red Sox victory tonight, I'm going to be a redhead.

Not really. Well, yes, really on the redhead part, but not really in honor of the Red Sox.

I decided not to spend the money to get my hair highlighted for a while, but I wanted to get my hair all back to one color and cover the grey streaks that pop up. So, while perusing the multitude of hair colors, I decided to go with an auburny-brown.

We'll see how it turns out.

Spurrier, we need you

I became a Florida Gators fan when a little gold band was slipped around my ring finger on my left hand. I'm not a giant collegiate sports fan, but even I recognize that Ron Zook sucked. I really hope they can woo back Steve Spurrier.

Red sox and orange moon

What a night. Made homemade cookies with my oldest boy, we gazed at the beautiful lunar eclipse and now I'm being dazzled by the Red Sox leading in the top of the 8th. Amazing. Who would have believed it?

Lunar eclipse

I hope the moon-bats don't go nutty tonight, although I'm sure they will say that it is a Bush lie that there was a lunar eclipse, but he kept it cloudy so only the rich who live on cloud-free hilltops can see the eclipse.

I'm taking the oldest boy out at 8:14 tonight to see if the clouds clear and we can see the lunar eclipse. Wish me luck and cloudless skies.

LabKat is hoping to see it, too, and mentioned it in her blog today.

A lunar eclipse occurs as the moon - in its orbit around earth - moves across the earth's shadow.

USA Today explains this is how a lunar eclipse works. This shadow is divided into two sections, both of which take on a cone-like shape. The outer ring of the earth's shadow called the Penumbra does contain some light, but it's a very small amount. The inner cone is known as the Umbra and is completely dark. During the Eclipse, the moon will appear to be a mix of red, brown and orange, but will not actually turn completely dark. Although no sunlight will be directly shining on the surface of the moon, some light will be refracted toward it by the Earth.

Scary home invasions

Not very far from our sleepy little suburban community, there have been about a half-dozen home invasion robberies in the past few weeks. The common thread is that the bad guys are entering homes through open garage doors and unlocked doors. They're bold and brazen and don't seem to care that the homeowners are home.

I was thinking about this today and thinking that the bad guys might not be real happy if they enter my home and they may retreat quickly when they hear the click, click and the slide on the shotgun. But, then, I was thinking, what if they walked in and grabbed one of my kids? I wouldn't shoot a shotgun in that direction with my children there. Then it started to get really scary to me. If Army of Dad is home, he has a handgun and is a good shot, so he may be able to drop someone without harming my kids. This has weighed on my mind enough that when I was watering my plants on my front porch today, I was scared to leave the garage door open while the baby played in the house. I often open the garage door when doing laundry so I don't get too hot and I heard a man breathing heavy and I almost peed my pants and quickly closed the garage door. A peek out the window revealed my neighbor from a few houses down making his afternoon walk, but it scared the crap out of me.

I really hope they find these bad guys or some homeowner puts a cap in each of their asses.

This can't be ...

I was able to log on and actually post ... no, I must be dreaming again.

Blogger has been going down more today than a slut on prom night and it is pissing me off. I've had to actually do laundry and productive shit. Ok, some productive stuff. I made a list of all the things I want to blog about in the coming days ...

FINALLY - I was getting the shakes

Good grief that made me want to implode.

Fucking blogger wasn't working ALLLLLLLLL morning and I thought I was going to start getting shaky if I couldn't get a hit - literally - and blog today. I have been noting all the various topics that I wanted to blog about - but COULD NOT.

Blogger may soon be fired.

Feeling the rush from the intoxicating endorphins rushing through my veins as I finally get to blog.

Yeah, that is some good shit.


Throwing the libs a bone

Courtesy of

The Menace of Plastic Dog Toys
"Police are investigating a case of alleged assault stemming from the theft of campaign signs in Seattle's Laurelhurt neighborhood," reports KIRO-TV:

Workers at the Talaris World Conference Center took action when they saw someone on surveillance camera video taking their signs, which support Republican candidates. They confronted the woman, who allegedly attacked one of them.

"The suspect became angry and struck the victim over the head with a green plastic three-foot-long ball throwing device, in addition to pushing him with his finger in the chest," said Sean Whitcomb of the Seattle Police Department.

Authorities are investigating this case as an assault and they have taken the dog toy and the incriminating pictures as evidence.

Clearly the time has come for more stringent dog-toy control laws. We fully support a dog's right to play, but what dog needs a three-foot-long ball throwing device? The only purpose such assault dog toys have is to commit violent acts. Of course, the dog-toy nuts will say "dog toys don't kill people, people kill people."

Sorry, that dog won't hunt.

Now THAT is funny. I don't care who you are.

Michael Moore and Gloria Steinem

I think I would have gouged my ears into deafness had I tried to sit through this. But Mind Matter did just that and lived to blog about it.

You'll love reading some of the bullshit these two, oh and don't let me forget Roseanne Barr and some loser from Rage Against the Machine, had to say.

Poked, prodded and probed, oh my

After I dropped off all the children at school and pre-school today, I had a pre-op appointment at the doctor's office to prepare for my surgery on Friday. Piece of cake, I'm thinking. Good Lord how wrong I was.

I arrive at the doctor's office at 9:20 for my 9:30 appointment. The doctor goes over the procedure and what to expect. I need to arrive at the hospital at 10 a.m. Friday. My procedure is scheduled for 11. Don't let the anesthesiologist try to talk me into a block, he says, just have him knock me out. Anesthesia has come a long way from the old days and I'll be in a light slumber and able to awake soon after the 30- to 45-minute procedure. It's an easy one. The doctor gets to sit down during it, he proudly said. It is his birthday Friday, too. Yippee for me. He explains a little about what they'll do. My kind of ganglion cyst returns about 10 percent of the time, but he'll do his best to keep that from happening by creating a little window in my joint to allow the fluid to move in and out of the joint. Theory is that the fluid can move out, gets stuck and can't get back in, so this (in theory) will solve that problem. I'll have a splint put on and then I return on election day to get a cast. It will be on for two weeks, then I'll get at removable splint that I can take off to sleep and bathe. I sign some papers acknowledging that I know I can die, have nerve damage, etc etc. Then I get this giant packet of stuff to carry to the hospital. Only 45 minutes at the doctor's office. Not bad.

Stop No. 2 for the day. I go to the pre-registration thing where I got my little pager thing. It was sort of cute. This little granny Blue Hair volunteer was explaining to me how the pager works. Thanks Grandma, I've got it down. Table for 1, non smoking. Oh wait, wrong place. I proceed to sit and wait. Fortunately, I had brought a baby blanket I'm making for a friend to work on. I go back and kill a few more trees with paperwork and then I'm off to another waiting area. I get leeched there for three vials of blood. Then, back to the waiting room.

Jesus (Mexican pronunciation, not the savior dude) comes to get me for my chest x-ray. Now, maybe I'm just paranoid, but women can usually smell lechery. I couldn't quite make up my mind if Jesus was trying to be kind or if he was doing a little improper touching. He takes me to a dressing area and tells me that I'll need to take my bra off. Oh yeah, and your shirt, too. Here is a gown for you to put on, it ties in the back. I was taken a little aback at the bra comment, but ok. Maybe he just didn't say in the right order and it sort of creeped me out. Then, he pulled the little curtain so I could change. But instead of walking outside the changing room, he just stood outside of the curtain. That was the second creepy feeling. Third creepy feeling came when he tied my gown for me a little more secure than I had it tied. But, I kept thinking, he is probably trying to help preserve what little modesty I have left. As he is guiding me to the x-ray area, he puts his hand on my shoulder several times. That was ok, but it got creepy AGAIN when instead of just guiding me, he was clutching my shoulder. You know what I mean? Like he was gripping it. The only words to really describe it are FUCKING CREEPY! He did this several times, too. I mean, I don't even do this to my guy and girl friends. It was almost borderline copping a feel - but unless he has a shoulder fetish, it isn't. *shrug* I'm probably reading too much into it, but it was effed up. Then, he takes me back to the dressing room with a last grab or two and tells me to wait there because they'll need me to take my top off for the EKG anyway. I sit there for 30 minutes, still wondering if he meant to be creepy or if he was trying to be kind and compassionate. Finally, I get up and peek out to the nurse's station to see if they had forgotten about me. Sure enough, I wasn't supposed to be sitting there in a semi-state of undress. They had been calling for me and assumed I had stepped out for a smoke or to make a phone call. Great. I get dressed, they apologize profusely and take me for my EKG.

EKG? For me? Well, my doctor is very thorough and wants to cover all bases, the nurse tells me. We get it done pretty quickly. I'm pronounced healthy as a horse. No comments people! Then, she outlines where to go and what will happen Friday morning. Army of Dad can be with me most of the time, but not all of it. No jewelry, no make-up, no food after midnight Thursday. Got it. Still shaking off the heebie-jeebies from Jesus.

She's a beauty

I got an email yesterday asking me if I'd like to exchange blogrolls (the term us bloggers use for posting a link to another blogger's page in exchange for their link to your blog - i.e. scratch my back and I'll scratch yours). This one was from Let's Try Freedom, a guy who gets a lot of traffic to his place, so I felt pretty honored that he thought my little corner of the Internet was worthy of a read now and then.

The first post of his I really read was a happy birthday greeting to his 2-year-old daughter. She is just a week or so younger than my own child. But, even more spectacular to me was this beautiful little girl is his argument about why life is so valuable and abortion is such an awful alternative to a pregnancy. Kudos my dear man. I could not have said it better, but I'll try with my own proof of life.

Photo by Uzzman
Here are two more exhibits.

Photo by Kat, i.e. 2 of 5

Feminism be damned

I'm one of those women that make men incredibly frustrated.

I'm intelligent and educated. I believe I have every right in the world to be able to vote, speak my opinion and get paid the same amount of money as a man for doing the same amount and quality of work. That said, I'm also a Southern woman who believes that men should open the door for me, make the first move and pay for dinner.

I believe that men should make the living and women should raise the children. Yet, working together is crucial to creating a happy marriage. If I have to be the bread winner, I can do it. I've done it before. Army of Dad and I disagree over many things involving gender roles. Many of these issues cause me to climb onto one side of the fence one moment and back to the other side the next. I don't always have a good reason or logic for feeling the way I do. It is all about being a woman. On the whole, we're ruled by emotions. I know I most certainly am.

I waver on topics like women in combat or flying fighter jets. On one hand, I don't see any reason why a woman who is capable shouldn't be able to do it if she wants to. On the other hand, I can see how it might be sort of hard to be stealthy or discreet when you have to change a tampon in a tank with a couple of guys.

But, more than issues like that, one thing that really pisses me off when it comes to being a member of the fairer sex is being smaller and weaker. I like the protection Army of Dad offers me. But, guess what? He isn't with me 24/7. Being home alone with my kids at night can be scary. Being alone anywhere with my kids can be scary. (that can be taken two ways and one is really funny when you think about it *wink*)

When I'm in charge of protecting my children, I'm a much tougher person. That mama bear mentality kicks in. When I'm alone, it is very different. I feel sort of sorry for men in a way because if I feel vulnerable and I see you coming, I think the worst. Going to the post office in the middle of the night has me constantly looking over my shoulder and around corners, plotting the quickest way out and mentally preparing myself to fight. In the parking lot of the grocery store. At the gas station. At a red light. Even in an elevator alone with a man. We envision the worst case scenario. Fight or flight kicks in. Women have to be vigilant if we don't want to be victims. If I am anything - it is NOT a victim.

I read Mrs. DuToit at the urging of Army of Dad and literally I began to cry. Not just a little tear in the corner of my eye, but full-fledged bawling. This woman pegged it. Fear. Constant fear. She absolutely described the way I feel whenever I go anywhere alone. You can’t help it. You have to be super-alert to the dangers around you. I used to carry a knife with me as a teenager when I worked late at the movie theater and I remember thinking, Dear God, the bad guy has to be really close to me before I can even defend myself. And, you know who gave me the knife and told me how to use it? My mother. She, too, knows the fears that we face daily.

I’m not a big gun enthusiast, personally, but over the years I have contemplated getting a CHL and learning how to shoot. I have finally learned how to shoot. Now, I'm debating on taking that next step. I really don't want to, but I honestly don't know how I could feel safe if I don't. I no longer have the fear of touching a gun. As a matter of fact, it was pretty fun to shoot. I just don't like feeling like a victim and with my upcoming surgeries, I'm going to be even more vulnerable. I don't think most men understand that feeling of always looking over your shoulder worried that the boogey-man is going to jump out and get you at any moment and you can't fight back. Maybe next time some woman locks her car doors when she sees you waiting to cross the street, you won't feel so irritated. We're just doing the only thing we know to protect ourselves. Maybe I found something new to make me feel secure. Mrs. DuToit's post gives me hope that I, too, can feel that power.


Remember that Billy Joel song "Pressure"? That is sort of how I feel these days. Those people who know me are probably surprised to know that I'm racked with anxiety from time to time, but today is one of those days. I still have that God-awful pain in my back between my shoulder blades and up into my neck. That is bad enough, but I have to go to the doctor this morning and shell out my percentage of the dough and do all the pre-op stuff, which I think involves an x-ray and bloodwork. Joy. I'm stressed about my paychecks getting here eventually so I can pay the bills. That is one of the suck-ass parts of being a freelance writer, waiting for the publications to pay me.

But, I think most of all, I'm starting to get a little scared at the prospect of surgery this week. I'm having a ganglion cyst removed and it sounds pretty harmless, but they're going to knock me out and do it in the hospital. That aspect of it scares me. You'd think after three c-sections and a breast biopsy that I could handle pretty much anything, but I'm scared. I don't want to be in a splint or cast for a few weeks. I don't want to have the post-op pain. I don't want to pay the bills that are going to crop up with this.

Plus, I hate waking up at 5 a.m.


Kiss me, I voted

I decided to drag along the ailing children to let them see democracy in action before we exchanged free coupons for personal pan pizzas for lunch.

We headed to City Hall for early voting. My oldest was asking if he could take his Yugioh cards and his new Ninja High School book (which was personally autographed by Ben Dunn at the Dallas Comic Con Saturday) and a plethora of other toys to the event. He whined and moaned that he didn't want to go, couldn't he stay here, wouldn't he be spreading his germs, couldn't I go tomorrow, et al ... I explained to him that I'm going to vote a straight party ticket. I will walk in, give the old blue hair my voter registration card, sign a book and pick a ballot, use a marker to make one line and we're out of there.

He didn't believe me. As we're approaching City Hall, a sudden onset of urgent gotta go do my diarrhea thing hits him. Run, I tell him. Run to the door - follow the voting signs - and ask the lady at the reception desk for directions to the bathroom. So, we follow all the old folks and other early voters - there were dozens of them - to the city hall basement to vote. I've voted here many times before and NEVER had to wait in line, even on election day. It was invigorating to see so many people enthused about voting. I ran into a young lady I know while I was there, too.

The men's bathroom, fortunately, was right outside the voting area, so we were all where we needed to be. I explained to the children before we left the house NOT to be blabbing about who I was voting for, dissing the Democrabs or anything like that because that is called electioneering and is against the law. They seemed to listen and didn't do it while we were there. I explained to Child No. 2 about each step in the process as I did it. Child No. 1 was busy trying not to shit on himself throughout this civics lesson. He walks in about the time I'm walking to my voting carroll (how do you spell that word anyway?). I mark my straight party ticket and he is amazed. Wow! That was it? You're done? Yes, child. I told you it would take longer to walk up to City Hall from the parking lot than it would to vote. But, do you believe me? No ....

More of the Dallas Comic Con

There were so many fun facets of the Dallas Comic Con that I could probably blog about it forever, but I'll make this one of the last posts about it.

First off, here are the pics of me with Wil Wheaton and Michael Dorn. You'll see Worf holding my camera in the shot with him. Hilarious.

It was like a Star Trek nerd's wet dream to be in such close proximity to Leeta, Data, Worf, Q and Wesley Crusher all at the same time. I thought I was going to pee my pants, but I managed to contain myself.

Me, Kat and the boys had such a good time hanging out with all the people. We met some really nice folks from the local Star Trek Club, the USS Joshua who visited with the boys and let them play with homemade light sabers and other cool stuff.

Pickle loved meeting the Star Wars characters. That is more his speed than Star Trek. Same with LabKat.

Kat and Pickle get handcuffed by the Star Wars fighter pilot dude.

We asked Darth if he was happy to see us or if that was a light sabre in his pocket. This elicited many giggles and heavy breathing. Oh yeah, Darth Vader breathes heavy all the time.

Surely the Alliance rebel there can save my child from Darth Vader instead of standing there and watching .... right?

He looks way too happy to be held hostage by Darth Maul and a stormtrooper.

Are those some happy boys or what? And, to think that she didn't even need her truth lasso thing.

Pickle has asked me several times when we can go back to another comic book convention. Anyone know of websites that can keep me up to date on these things?

Home with the sickies

The boys are recovering and *knock on wood* the baby is still not sick. Child No. 2 REALLY wanted to go to school this morning, so after letting the kids sleep in I thought I'd take him to school. So, we all get ready and trek that way. I stop by the school nurse who informs us that he must be fever-free for a full 24 hours before he can return to school. This started the crying jag that lasted about 30 minutes. Interspersed with the crying were "I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL!" I'm glad he loves school that much, but didn't make for a happy mom this morning. I went ahead and got their work and we'll get going on that. Child No. 2 (who wanted to go to school) has already done one of his worksheets. The oldest keeps moaning about having to do his work. Lovely.

I think I'll take the children with me for early voting this morning and let them see the election process up close and personal.


It gets worse

Watching the Cowboys game while the children eat dinner. Army of Dad left to vote early and grab us a bite to eat.

Alert! Alert! Alert! cries 5-year-old child as he runs in and proceeds to turn his hip to the side to show me runny shit pouring down his leg.

Well, go into the bathroom and go stand in the tub! I tell him.


I grab a hand towel and proceed to follow the poop trail back to the dinner table. Spot here, spot there. Three little spots in a row as he entered the carpet. One semi-small pile in the kitchen floor. Oh gees, I hope it isn't all over his chair at the dinner table. Whew. No poop over there. Run to the upstairs bathroom to grab the Woolite carpet cleaner, which was left up there after the last poop trail - thank God - many months ago. So, I go back and find the little brown spots and spray them with the foaming cleaner. Go back to the bathroom and run warm water to rinse said child and his poopy Star Wars underwear. Gross to the maximum level of grossness. After it is all rinsed out, I proceed to run him a bubble bath to hopefully kill some of the poop germs on him. Ewww. This is one of those moments that your pregnant friends don't tell you about right after you get married and they're telling you how great it is to have kids and how you should start a family, blah blah blah ... blessing to your life and marriage .. blah blah blah. Bull shit. They just want you to also be cleaning shit out of the floor so they can secretly laugh at you behind your back for being stupid enough to get knocked up and cleaning up shit and puke for FREE. At least a janitor gets paid for that shit (pun intended.)

Taking deep breaths.

Ok. I'm over it. I love my children. *say it again and again* I love my children. I love my job. I love my children. I love my job.

I really do love being their mom. You just have to put up with the shit to get the good stuff. Just like any relationship. I'm just glad I'm over being sick so I can tolerate them being sick. Now, if I could get my back to stop hurting I'd be in good shape. I think I'll call my massage lady for a massage Tuesday.

The unmistakable sound of puking in the back seat

I couldn't think of a really good title for this entry, but this was accurate.

There is nothing like planning a nice little 'for the children' outing and having it go dreadfully wrong with a van-full of puking kids. We were going to Fright Fest at Six Flags to cap off the weekend o' fun for the youngsters. About a quarter of the way to meet my mom in Fort Worth and I hear the unmistakable sound of that cough that precedes the urp and then the sound that terrorizes every mother - the gag followed by liquid and the previous night's dinner hitting the floor, the door and whatever else was in the way.

I heard the cough and looked in the rearview mirror to ask Child No. 1 if he was ok. No, he replied, followed by the whoosh of vomit whacking the sliding door and carpet of my minivan. We make a quick pullover to the side and he finishes puking out toward the interstate as traffic whizzes by. Child No. 2 is instructed to crawl into the back end of the car and retrieve the towels I keep stashed back there for just such emergencies.

Are you ok?

Yeah, I think so.

Are you done puking?


He had whimpered a bit about a tummy ache, but we thought it was because he hadn't eaten yet. He insists that he still wants to go to Six Flags, so on we trek.

Hey mom!


I have good news. When I puked, I didn't get any of it on my books.

Great. Wish I could say the same for mom's car. I didn't say that. I just thought it. On we drive. We've just gotten off the Interstate and exited to go meet my mom when Child No. 2 starts telling me that his throat his hurting. First instinct is that he is 5 and maybe he is urping in preparation of adding his mixture to the vomitous smell in the car. But, no he insists that his throat hurts and not his stomach. So, I offer him a cough drop. He declines and then that sound heard minutes before is repeated.

Only he doesn't have the skill to direct his puke away from his body. He proceeds to spew all down his shirt, shorts and socks and on his booster seat. Great. I only have a couple of more towels not used from the previous performance. So, here we are in the parking lot of an antique mall stripping the child down to his Star Wars underwear because he is soaked with barf. He is pale and wants to go home. I'm trying to keep good spirits at this point. We trek on to meet my mom. In typical sadistic granny fashion, she laughs hysterically when I told her what happened. We proceed to get McDonald's to see if some chicken nuggets and sprite can settle their stomachs. Mom and I visit in the car briefly before we hit the road on the way home.

Note to self: a hamburger and fries on an already upset stomach is not a good idea. About a quarter of the way home, that already familiar sound begins to repeat itself from right behind my head. I veer right across three lanes of traffic and hit an exit to a gas station to let Child No. 1 finish puking into the Shell parking lot while I start scraping the remnants of Mickey D's from my floorboard. This child has a pattern of puking on the way to theme parks. He did this about four years ago on the way to Disney World, too. Even with our little back windows open all day at the Magic Kingdom, the car smelled like puke for DAYS after that.

When I got home today, I opened up the doors to the car, scraped the carpet again, febreezed the vicinity and cracked the garage door a bit so the puke smell wouldn't waft around in my garage either.

The boys have camped out in the front room floor and watched Yugioh and Space Jam for the better part of the day. They're asking for food now, but I'm not sure about giving them any. Don't want them regurgitating it all up in the house.

*Knock on wood* child No. 3 hasn't started spewing yet. I'm holding out hope that she misses this bug.

Klingon security

One of the totally hilarious aspects of the Dallas Comic Con was the fact that a local Klingon club was working security. I shit you not. It was great. I chatted with this guy while Zoom Zoom was eating an ice cream sandwich. I didn't want him to get grubby fingers on goods that I'd have to purchase. So, we chatted for a while and I thought it was great fun that they were working security. I didn't get his picture, but I should have. I did talk with this next fellow for a few minutes. I asked him to look mean, but he said he was too hot in all that gear to look mean, so I suggested that he look hot and sweaty instead. He makes me think of Odo dressed as a Klingon.

This was a jolly old Klingon.

Ground control to Major Tom

Fortunately, our astronaut has had better results than Major Tom. This update arrived in my emailbox this morning:

After traveling more than 78 million miles aboard the International Space Station, Expedition 9 Commander Gennady Padalka and Flight Engineer Mike Fincke returned to Earth today.

Returning with them was Russian Space Forces Test Cosmonaut Yuri Shargin, who had spent eight days aboard the orbiting complex conducting research.

After a flawless descent by the ISS Soyuz 8 spacecraft, Padalka, Fincke and Shargin landed on target in north-central Kazakhstan, about 43 miles northeast of the town of Arkalyk, at 7:36 p.m. CDT. Recovery forces arrived at the site within minutes of the touchdown.

Padalka and Fincke spent 187 days, 21 hours and 17 minutes in space. They launched on April 18, on the same Soyuz spacecraft that brought them home. For six months, the pair maintained systems and conducted scientific research onboard the Station.

Fincke's return also is his first opportunity to meet his 4-month-old daughter, Tarali Paulina, born June 18 while he was in space. The crew's families are expected to greet them upon their arrival at Star City, Russia, a few hours after landing. Padalka and Fincke will remain in Star City for several weeks of post-flight debriefings and medical exams before returning to Houston in mid-November.

Among their accomplishments on the Station was an unprecedented spacewalking repair, using Russian spacesuits and gear to replace a U.S. circuit breaker, restoring power to a U.S. gyroscope. Fincke also performed some of the most complex U.S. spacesuit repairs ever accomplished in orbit, replacing water pumps in the suits' cooling systems, equipment not designed for in-flight repairs. They completed a total of four spacewalks, including sorties that prepared the Station for the arrival of a new European cargo ship next year.

Aboard the Station, the Expedition 10 crew, Commander and NASA Station Science Officer Leroy Chiao and Flight Engineer Salizhan Sharipov, are beginning a six-month mission that will include two spacewalks and preparations for the return of Space Shuttle flights. Expedition 10 is scheduled to return to Earth on April 25, 2005.

Information on the crew's activities aboard the Space Station, future launch dates, as well as Station sighting opportunities from anywhere on the Earth, is available at NASA Spaceflight. Details on Station science operations can be found on an Internet site administered by the Payload Operations Center at NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center.


Land of the Lost

OHMIGOD, I had SOOOOOO much fun today at the Dallas Comic Con today. Many thanks to 2 of 5 for going with me and helping me corral my two boys. I got a sitter for the baby, but dragged the boys along. My oldest aspires to be an artist, cartoonist, animator or something of the like, so he was in heaven today. He is 10 and loves Star Wars. Child No. 2 likes Star Trek, so both were pretty happy to be there.

We started off a little roughly by waiting in line for 40 minutes to get in. LabKat and I had a great time laughing at the dorks and feeling much cooler than we did just this morning. She actually coined the blog title at that time. Pickle waited patiently, but Zoom Zoom (who is only 5) was taking it much rougher. Now, granted, both boys had soccer games this morning and probably were a little tired from all the activity, but it wasn't THAT bad.

We get in and grab snacks and drinks for the boys and then Pickle gets to meet the creator for El Gato Negro comic book. He was so stoked to get to meet a real life comic book creator and artist in Richard Dominquez. Of course, I thought the man was great because he told Pickle that taking care of his school work and studying is one of the most important things he can do to be a great cartoonist. Here is Pickle and Senor Dominguez.

We cruise around a bit more and then find the room where the autographs are being done. LabKat got the biggest smile across her face as she sees Peter Mayhew, better known as Chewbacca in the original Star Wars Trilogy. She bimbles over there for her autograph and her day was complete. He was very nice and flirted a bit with her while his wife sat nearby and teased him for wanting to have his picture with a cute woman.

By this time, the boys are getting a bit frustrated with standing around and waiting in lines. Ok, Zoom Zoom was getting REALLY frustrated. Pickle was a little more tolerant. He was enjoying seeing all the dorks dressed up like Star Wars, Star Trek and other sci fi and comic book characters. Then, it happens. I spot Brent Spiner, Michael Dorn, John DeLancie and Wil Wheaton. OHMIGOD! I start jumping up and down and my oldest rolls his eyes and says Calm down Mom!

2 of 5 reaches in her purse and looks at me very mom-like as she says: Pick one. I can't afford $30 for an autograph for all of them, but I'll spring for ONE!

How do I pick? Initially, we thought Brent Spiner aka Data was the choice, but I've always been a GIANT Worf fan, plus Michael Dorn is WAY hotter than Spiner, so I tried to snap a really good shot of Spiner, but came away with not much.

But, here was my big shot ... I'm off to get a Worf autograph and snapshot with him. Oh boy oh boy. I'm told no flash. Well crap. My camera takes crappy shots with no flash. So, 2 of 5 pulls out her camera. I'll post that pic tomorrow after she emails it to me. But, as we're waiting for her camera, Michael Dorn is looking at mine and talking outloud wondering if it doesn't take a great shot without the flash and snaps this picture of my whining son, who by now, was REALLY whimpering about being tired and wanting to leave.
Photo by Michael Dorn.

I got my Worf autograph and snapshot and clicked this one of him. I also caught John De Lancie before he took a break and caught Wil Wheaton standing around aimlessly while people were passing him by.

He's gotten better looking as he's gotten older and filled out some. We hung around and listened to his reading of his two books. I bought one, Dancing Barefoot, that I hope to start reading after my surgery next week. I totally ditzed out and got blubber tongued from all the celebrity. I forgot to tell Pickle that Wil is AquaLad from Teen Titans until after his reading. The kid almost peed his pants when he realized that. I should have gotten his pic with Wil, too, but I forgot. *doh*

I was amazed at the beauty *and cleavage* of Leeta from DS9 but was able to get a very cute shot of her before we drifted out of this room to head to the auditorium.

Those are all my celeb shots. I will post more of me and the kids tomorrow.

Live long and prosper.

*hee hee* I couldn't resist. I'm such a dork.

Rain, soccer & sci-fi, oh my!

Well, the rains have stopped, but not before the fields will be good and icky for the kids to run and tromp in. Lovely. But, no worrires ... I have the lure of Wil Wheaton, Michael Dorn, John De Lancie, Chase Masterson and Brent Spiner ahead of me. I even have my two boys excited about it, too. Hopefully there will be enough action for them to stay engaged the whole time. I gathered up their Star Trek and Star Wars toys to play with, so that should help. It may be very exciting for Child No. 2, who likes to play with Star Trek action figures to see the men who portrayed these characters.

We'll see.

Hopefully I'll have LOTS of pictures to post.


The planets must be aligned OR Chuck E. Cheese is in the equation

The boys were talking nicely to one another. Pickle patted his little brother on the head and then Little Brother offered one of his cookies to Pickle.

*suspicious look on my face*

I really like it when you boys are nice to each other.

We're being really nice to each other right now, mom, the oldest says to me.

Then he adds the kicker:

See, we really want to go to Chuck E. Cheese tonight.

Ah, the power of crappy pizza, cheap prizes and electronic joy.

I'm all aquiver

OHMIGOD!!! I can't believe I am this big of a dork and I did not know about the Dallas Comic Con this weekend in Plano.

I'm about to jump right out of my seat at the prospect of getting to listen to Wil Wheaton read from his new book and OHMIGOD get to see Michael Dorn, Brent Spiner and John DeLancie. I may pee my pants at any minute now. The best part - it is only $5 per person and kids are free!!!! I called 2 of 5 and she said she'd go with me to help corral my kids as Army of Dad will be reffing soccer games.


These libs take the cake, er, pie

How unfortunate that Ann Coulter was assaulted in a run-by pie-ing while speaking at the University of Arizona. This second story is so poorly written, I have NO idea what the author is trying to say in the last sentence. If anyone goes over there, let me know what it means. I'm at a loss.

But, still, this could have been really bad. What if these guys had something besides pies in their briefcases?

Found another story with mug shots of the assholes who did it ...

I'm sure their moms are so proud.

Dysfunctional memory

Something struck me and Army of Dad as funny last night during the Astros-Cardinals game. We were sitting there watching the game when Roger Cedeno reached first base.

"I have his autograph," I said to him.

"You can't find my referee assignments or your camera bag, but you remember that?" he replied.


And, for the record, I have two Cedeno autographs I got back in 1994 at a Midland Angels game. And, no, I still haven't found my camera bag. It's been missing since Little Bit's birthday party on Sunday.

It was inevitable

The boys had their first fist-fight last night.

The oldest child got the best of it until mom entered the fracas and then he lost.

Not sure what happened. I was tucking Stinkerbelle in bed when Child No. 2 whined that he couldn't get the toothpaste on his toothbrush. I asked the oldest to go take care of it. Next thing I know, I hear lots of yelling and the oldest tattling that little brother was screaming and hit him. I was laughing because it just seemed funny to me.

I resume tucking the baby in when I hear a melee of things moving, screams, punches and then crying from little brother.

I'm not sure what started it, but what I managed to get out of both boys was that No. 2 screamed and hit No. 1. No. 1 hit No. 2 back. Not sure who did what next, but No. 1 smacked No. 2 in the face. That is a big no-no.

No black eye this morning, thank goodness. I was a little concerned about that. Both are grounded from video games and the only TV they can watch is what baby sister picks out. So, I'll be laughing as they watch Teletubbies and Blues Clues all day. Honestly, I figure they'll all three be mosquito food outside tonight.

Here's my sign

As Bill Engvall would tell me ... here is my sign.

For about 30 minutes this morning, I was convinced I had meningitis. *sigh* Yes, I know, I know. The odds of that are probably a trillion to one that I would have it, but I woke up with this seriously stiff neck and pain that radiated from my neck down through my spine. It is still there, too. So, of course, my first instinct is to panic and assume the worse. This drives Army of Dad nuts. It makes me nuts, too, but that runs in the family as anyone who knows my mom and brother can attest.

Let me explain to those of you who don't know my family. My mother is a tried-and-true hypochondriac. I love her dearly and life is much better since she started meds for her psychosis. Life was interesting growing up in that house, to say the least. My mother does have some health problems, but if you asked her, she was dying every day. There is not enough room on the Internet to fully describe what life was like growing up with her. Having an emotionally disturbed mother makes for a lively childhood. Thing is, when you're a little kid, you think this is what "normal" is and you don't have anything else to base normalcy on. There are many blogs here waiting to be written, but on this topic of being sick - I grew up in a situation in which every time I sniffled, I was convinced that hospitalization was around the corner. Of course, part of that came from the fact that I was diagnosed with cancerous tumors in my face when I was 7. So, she had some reason to freak out whenever I was sick. The problem is that she had me convinced I was dying whenever I got ill. Now, granted, I have had my fair share of issues, but not to the extent that I was always made to believe and that has stuck with me. I always assume the worst possible scenario.

So, a slow recovery from the flu combined with a stiff sore neck must surely mean meningitis ... right? Ok, so I don't have meningitis, but I wish that alleve would kick in.

Busy with you I get

Is it just me or does it look like Yoda is humping young Luke?


Overwhelming feeling of love

My emotions are a roller coaster most days regardless of anything else. Right now, while I'm in a weakened state of recovery from being sick, they're probably even more chaotic. I go from being bitchy to being weepy in a heartbeat. Army of Dad would probably say I'm like that all the time.

But, there are times that I am just overcome with this overwhelming feeling of love for Army of Dad. It just hits me while I'm driving down the road. Maybe I hear a song that makes me think of him and I just smile and feel this sense that no matter what in the world is going on - everything is alright.

Sometimes when I look at one of my sleeping children, I see him there - in the shape of their faces or the position in which they're sleeping.

There are other things, too, that remind me of him. When I grab a shirt that he wore the day before and I can smell his scent on it or when he is about to leave in the morning, but he takes an extra few minutes to come in and kiss me goodbye.

Most of all, I think it is when he has worked long days and is dog tired, but he will make the time to go play with the children, even for a few minutes. It is the fact that he takes his lunch to work each day so we can save the money that would be spent going to grab a bite to eat. Watching him coach both of our boys' soccer teams and seeing how much time and effort he puts into working with these boys to help them be better soccer players, yes, but better men-in-training.

And, shhh, don't tell him, but I even love it when he cops a feel of my ass when I'm standing on my head trying to get dinner cooked. It can be irritating at the time, but it reinforces to me that he is happy with me. I know he'd like me a good 50 pounds lighter. I'd like me better like that, too, but he loves me and desires me in spite of it.

Ok, while I still have the warm and fuzzies, I'm off to make cookies with Army of Dad's version in miniature, Child No. 2, for his class tomorrow. Yet another reason I love AoD - we're broke, but I get to be home with my children and help them learn and grow and make cookies together for school events. There is no place else I'd rather be than where I am right now. Now, if I could get back to 100 percent healthy, I'd be on Cloud 9.

Wild goose chase, er, hunt

Well, the hunt is concluded and even though the Associated Press said "more than two dozen journalists were invited to the farm outside of Youngstown to see Kerry emerge from the field, none witnessed Kerry taking any shots," Kerry emerged claiming to have killed a goose.
Kerry returned after a two-hour hunting trip wearing a camouflage jacket and carrying a 12-gauge shotgun, but someone else carried the bird he said he shot.
"I'm too lazy," Kerry joked. "I'm still giddy over the Red Sox. It was hard to focus."

Yes, yes, we all know what a Red Sox fan he really is. I'm sure he was cheering for his favorite player, Manny Ortiz.

Sorry, back to the AP story.
"If John Kerry thinks the Second Amendment is about photo ops, he's Daffy," says the ad the NRA ran. It features a large photo of Kerry with his finger on a shotgun trigger but looking in another direction.
The faith, the baseball, the hunting all come at the end of a long fight against Kerry's liberal elite image — an image promoted by his political enemies but perhaps aided by Kerry as well.
Kerry was accompanied by Ohio Democratic Rep. Ted Strickland; Bob Bellino, a board member for the local Ducks Unlimited; and Neal Brady, assistant park manager of Indian Lake State Park in western Ohio. Each of his companions carried a dead goose on the way back, while Kerry walked beside them with his 12-gauge in one hand and the other free to pet a yellow Labrador named Woody.
Kerry said each of the four men shot a goose.

Wow ... are you reading between the lines here? The AP writer is hanging Kerry out to dry. The goose he "claimed" to have shot, the point of showing that he said they all shot a goose but only three were carried out, the fact that none of the reporters saw him take a shot ...

But, my favorite ...

Gees, so many caption choices ... any good ideas?

I can't wait to see the pictures

From AP story this morning:
Kerry aimed to show undecided voters his more relaxed side Thursday with his goose-hunting trip. The National Rifle Association took out an ad in the local Youngstown newspaper claiming Kerry is posing as a sportsman while opposing gun-owners' rights. Hunting is of special interest in several states that are still up for grabs.

I just can't wait to see him grimacing when the recoil on the gun gets him. You know he will. Hell, you've seen the photos of him trying to catch a football and he looks pained.

Why doesn't he just give up trying to be "every man" and just be himself? I know it isn't THAT likeable, but damn. Dude. Give IT UP. You are an east coast liberal and you don't like to shoot guns, you don't play football with your step-sons ... show pictures of you reading a book or something. I'd have a little more respect for you.

I heard the mayor of Youngstown on the Rush Limbaugh show this week and he said the traditionally Democratic-voting city has hosted Kerry at least three or four times during his campaign and that Kerry didn't have a hunting license until this trip was planned last week. OOOhh, now THERE is an avid hunter. AoD had to have his license to be ready to go the first day hunting season opened. Now, I know Kerry is on the campaign trail and doesn't have much time to hunt right now, but I'll be damned before I believe that HE is an avid hunter and sportsman, especially considering his opinion and voting record regarding gun control.

Ok, I need to stop and get ready for the day, but I just couldn't let this one go. This morning, WBAP's morning folks railed on Kerry, too, about how he was shooting at the press corps. I think MOST politicians would like to take a pot shot at those guys now and again. But, I really can't wait to see these pictures. Plus, you KNOW he has to have pictures of him hunting. This guy re-enacted his military stuff for the photo ops.

Open mouth, insert foot AGAIN!

Poor old Teresa. She just can't seem to figure out when it is a good time to keep her mouth shut. She went off blathering about how she would be a better first lady than Laura Bush and then totally stuck her foot in her mouth.

My favorite quote from the faux pas (to quote a little of her hubby's French) from the interview published Wednesday in USA TODAY regarding if she would be different from Laura Bush as a first lady:

"Well, you know, I don't know Laura Bush. But she seems to be calm, and she has a sparkle in her eye, which is good," Heinz Kerry said. "But I don't know that she's ever had a real job — I mean, since she's been grown up. So her experience and her validation comes from important things, but different things."

Those 10 years or so as a librarian and teacher are no big deal. Not to mention being a full-time mom is TO ME a REAL job. Hello. I work harder now that I stay at home than I EVER did as a reporter or PIO. Absolutely. Before I worked maybe eight to 10 hours a day. Now, I'm on the job 24/7.

I'll give Teresa credit, she did apologize for "forgetting" about Mrs. Bush's job experience, but she really needs to learn when to just give it a rest and be gracious for a moment. I know, that is asking too much of her.


Happy Birthday Viggo

While his politics make him a pansy and he looks like a Russian figure skater out of costume, I still love Viggo Mortensen as a hero in movies like LOTR. Something about scraggly rugged dudes. Mmmm.

I came to help restore your pluck

I'm still waiting for my visit from the naughty nurse in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

I really hate being sick

Note to self: Nyquil makes me antsy. I'm never taking that stuff again. My fever broke, but I woke up like every 20 minutes. Totally sucked. My head hurt all night and still does. I hate that feeling of being in a fog. I dropped the boys off at school this morning instead of walking them to their classes like I usually do. I just don't think I would have the energy to do that.

Since I really can't think straight, I'll post the pics from our final day of our trip to Houston. Along the interstate in Huntsville is this gigantic statue of Sam Houston. It is really cool and every time we go by it, I always want to stop, but we never seem to have time. This trip, we took the time to do it. Was pretty fun. Met some local yokel there who was going to have to get in big ladder thing and paint it for some upcoming festival. He didn't seem real anxious about doing that job, not that I blame him.The statue is the tallest of an American hero at 67 feet tall.
The little red speck at the bottom is me.

This was weird. They had this Sam Houston head down by a little mini ampi-theater. I'm sure there is a story that goes with it, but it beats me, I couldn't find anything about it.


The sex is better

Thanks to Leaning Toward the Dark Side for this little snippet.

Yet another reason to join the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy - we have better sex. ABC's poll said so.

Good thing I'm doped up on sinus meds or I may post pictures of me in provocative positions or something. *laughing as I stumble to get more Nyquil*

Flu epidemic at LaBare

Somewhere in the Dallas area, there are legions of really hot guys with a fever and the chills.

My work here is done.

The Breck Girl VP

Any guy that takes more time to fix his hair than I do is in danger of having his man card revoked.

I think I have the *achoo* flu


My shoulders really hurt today. Hmm. I have felt bad all day long and it has only gotten worse.

Wonder if I have the flu? I'll go check WebMD.

The symptoms of influenza appear suddenly and often include:
Fever of 100 °F to 104 °F when symptoms first develop. Check
Shaking chills. Not yet Update: Now, I have the chills.
Body aches and muscle pain (often severe), commonly in the back, arms, or legs. Oh God, check
Headache. Definitely
Pain when you move your eyes. Does the feeling that your head will explode count? If so, Check
Fatigue, a general feeling of sickness (malaise), and loss of appetite. Check
A dry cough, runny nose, and dry or sore throat. You may not notice these during the first few days of the illness when other symptoms are more severe. As fever goes away, these symptoms usually become more evident. Check

Ok, I think this counts as an official yes. Guess it is a good thing I don't have to worry about getting a flu shot since I will have already had it. This is what AoD had last week. He was reffing soccer games and going to work like this. He is one amazing dude. I just want to crawl up in a ball and die. Maybe this will make missing the flu shot no big deal.

What was I thinking?

I went and reserved Halo 2 this morning for the THREE boys in my house. They're going to explode when it comes in. I guess I'll just put pillows and blankets in there and HOPE that they'll actually sleep in between fighting each other to play.

How 'bout those Astros?

I like both the Cardinals and the Astros, but have a little more alliance with the Astros as a home-state team. But, I'm so proud of them. I'm also happy to see the Red Sox come back to beat the Yankees. Now, I really have no great like for either of those teams, but I hate the Yankees more.

Makes my dream really amusing, too. I finally caught the cold both of my youngest children have had for a while and in between wheezing and hacking last night, I had a dream about the Yankees game. It was the last thing I watched on TV before hitting the hay. It was the bottom of the 12th when we gave up. I dreamed that Jeter got hurt and they moved A-Rod to short and put me in at third. (I played third base in fast-pitch softball for a number of years, so you just KNOW that I could handle this hot spot. *rolling my eyes*) At one point, we got some guy in a run-down between home and third and when the play was over, I underhanded the ball to A-Rod and it caught him in his cup. I picked up the ball and handed it to him and told him that I'd rub it for him if we weren't on national TV and he requested we take up the offer after the game. Dammit. I woke up before we got to the good part.

Great ad campaign

A new ad campaign for Bush touches the heartstrings and I think it is just the touch he needs to relate to people. This ad plays on his strength of simply being a good person. I remember when this story hit the papers and the Internet.

This girl's mother died in the World Trace Center attack on 9/11 and evidently afterwards, she just shut down and shut everyone out emotionally. That is, until the President came to town. Someone told the President as he was walking by about her and he stopped and turned back and just embraced the girl and she broke down. It was the catalyst she needed to start healing. This is the kind of person he is. He is a father and a husband and he values his family and he is empathetic. He put himself in this child's shoes and understood - as much as one can when you haven't experienced - what she was feeling.

Best part about me posting this story - a friend of mine who is NOT a big Bush supporter sent the story about the ad to me. She called it a "good move" for Bush. I think she is right.


Day 3 of our trip - Vikings vs. Texans

Ok, I guess I better do this before it is two weeks since our trip. Army of Dad and I really enjoyed our Vikings game. Not only did the Vikes win, but Reliant Stadium was lovely. Overall, it was a great experience. It would have been a 100 had we not been accosted at the end of the game by some drunk Mexicans and a redneck. We were going to tailgate, but only season-ticket holders get to park up close to Reliant and the old AstroDome. So, we parked several blocks away and rode the light rail. That was very convenient and nice. We found MANY other Vikings fans, which was fun, too. Getting there early, we were able to watch the Vikings warm up and that was neat. We were right above the entrance for the Vikings, so we were right on top of the field while they warmed up.

He is one big dude in person, too.

Speaking of large men. Hovan was something to see, too. I love the way his shoes are all taped up. Check out the great tattoo on his arm.

Here was the view of Reliant from where we were watching the Vikings warm up. This is from the first row in the end zone. We were up a wee bit higher, but still in the lower section of seats. We couldn't see the jumbo-tron from where we were, but we had TVs right above our seats, which was very cool for replays. Reliant was great. It had great vendors - namebrands like Sam Adams, Shiner and Fat Tire beers, Luther's BBQ, Papa John's, etc. And there were many of them. The game was sold out (even though many seats were empty as the Astros were playing in the playoffs across town) but I never had to wait in line for food or drinks. That was awesome.

This was the view from our seats. This was actually after the game, so I'm skipping around. Sorry.

I liked this shot of Moss waiting his turn during warm-ups. I liked the Texans logo in the shot. He was amazing to see in person, too. Lots of grace to be such a punk. He, Kelly Carter and Culpepper were dancing at the end of warm-ups. Very funny stuff.

Moss makes a catch during warm-ups.

I love to watch athletes stretch. My faves to watch are hockey players, but that is a whole other blog entry. How do I get this guy's job?

Here we are before the game watching the Vikings warm up. Randy Moss ran out on the field right before this picture. And, yes, AoD is wearing a Chris Carter jersey.

Here the Vikings are dancing at the end of the pre-game ... hard to capture in still photography.

On our way up to the stadium. That is the AstroDme behind us. Reliant is behind it. That is a temporary tattoo on my cheek. AoD had one on the back of his head.

Coach Tice talks with the media before the game. He's a giant dude, too.

This is Mike and Teri. We met them in the parking lot. They're Houston natives.

This was the view of the game from our seats. It was awesome.

We had a great time. The only bad part was toward the end of the game when some asshole started yelling at Army of Dad. Once he started, then the mob mentality kicked in and others joined him. The worst part was that we were minding our own business. We were just standing there (we were in the last row of the seats where wheelchair seating is) and they were standing behind the guardrails being jerks. Finally, when they started yelling obscenities at us, we started fighting back. They tried to get an usher to make us sit down, that didn't work. Then, they asked security to check our tickets. We were where we belonged, so that didn't work either for them. Some dumbass redneck ran up behind us and rattled our seats up and down and then ran away when we turned around to see what was going on. I called him a pussy. I really hope that was emasculating to him, too. I mean, come on. You run up and screw with our seats when our backs are turned and then run away? Is that really tough and I didn't know it? Gees. It was irritating, but it only lasted about 20 minutes or so because they didn't start this until the last five minutes of the regular game and as soon as the Vikings won in overtime, these assholes all left. Big surprise. They really didn't want to mess with AoD (or me for that matter). I was pleased that AoD didn't kill them, but I think he was too excited about seeing the Vikings play and win to get kicked out for beating the snot out of some sawed off Mexicans. We did decide that the Texans are now our second favorite team. We loved it. The fans - overall - were awesome. The stadium was fabulous and we had a great time.